An Erudite would do just that. One who was learned in the ways of the Gentleman’s War, one who could help me figure out the best approach to defending my territory and my allies from the wrath of a Baron. No doubt I’d have a full force of enemies barreling towards me from all directions, as the Baron had a great deal of allies and resources. I needed to develop a comprehensive strategy that covered all my territories with my still limited supplies.
Within the hour, my new advisor had arrived. The door burst open, startling me greatly. A flustered maid chased after the man, but he paid her no mind.
“Don’t worry, my dear, I’ve an appointment with the Gentleman of the House,” Joeth said, dodging the maid’s attempts to block the door. He slipped past her with ease and grace, then made his way straight to my liquor cabinet.
“It’s fine, Jane,” I said, putting a hand up to ease the poor maid’s frantic protests. She was my appointment setter and was responsible for escorting guests to see me. Normally, a guest would have to sit in the waiting room, even if I were completely available. Why? They told me that a noble makes others wait, and I should abide by the custom. I wasn’t particularly convinced by such a practice, of course, but what can you do? Part of being a gentleman apparently involved letting everyone else tell you how to run your life.
“Sorry, Master, he wouldn’t listen,” Jane said, bowing humbly towards me.
I motioned for her to take her leave, turning my attention to Joeth, who was busy placing bottles on the table beside the liquor cabinet.
“No, no, too vintage, too fresh…by the Stars man, don’t you have anything with teeth?” the Erudite grunted as he searched through the cabinet. Joeth was surprisingly young, about my age, maybe a year younger. He had shaggy hair that covered most of his brow, wore half a dozen necklaces and golden rings on his fingers and dressed more like a traveling merchant than a scholar. And he tracked mud everywhere with his boots. An odd fellow to be certain.
“Help yourself,” I said, watching as he paid me little to no mind.
“So, you need a guide to the wonderful world of the Great Game,” Joeth replied as he closed the cabinet. In his hands was a red bottle of pomegranate concentrate, often used as a mixer to improve the taste of the less palatable liquors. But he had nothing to add to his drink and instead unscrewed the cap and began to drink straight from the bottle. “Ugh, this is wretched,” he grunted before continuing to drink once more.
I watched him drink the entire thing down. “So are we going to talk about…” I trailed off as he put up his finger, still downing the bottle. Once he finished, Joeth tossed the bottle behind him, wiped his mouth with his sleeve and then sat on the armrest of the chair sitting across from my desk.
“Good stuff. You couldn’t even taste the alcohol,” he remarked.
I merely nodded, not bothering to inform him of the drink’s actual purpose. The fact that he could drink a concentrate that needed to be stirred first was actually quite impressive, if not for the fact that it was also quite mad.
“So, let’s get the usual questions out of the way,” he said. “Yes, I’m a young man. No, I’m not posing as an Erudite. Yes, I’ve been to college. And no, you do not know more than me.”
“Is that so?”
“Indeed. A lot of people look at me and think that I’m just some bum going around pretending. But here’s my promise, Thomas—”
“Richard,” I corrected.
“Here’s my promise, Richard. You listen to me; you heed my advice and you let me do my thing here and I guarantee you will become a master of the Grid. I know it all. Every aspect of the Game. Everyone goes on and on about how young I am, but I’ll tell you something, bucko. At the University of Strategic Minds, we have our own Starmetal Signets. We have our own mazes, golems and resources. And for six long years, my fraternity battled for supremacy against all the other chapters. I’ve fought more battles than you ever will. And, unlike you nobles, I wasn’t fighting reserved, passionless men who weighed pros and cons. I fought people who had only one goal: to win.”
He paused from his rant to produce a golden medallion, tossing it to me over the desk. I caught it and examined the words. University of Strategic Minds Grid Champion. The gold was rather heavy too. It was certainly real, at least, as far as I could tell.
“That’s impressive,” I said.
“I have five of those at home,” Joeth replied. “A bunch of college kids with nothing to do but spend their parents’ money on alcohol and play the Grid like it was lawn darts will teach you more than a lifetime of fighting for your life. So trust me when I say that I know what the hell I’m doing. Understood?”
“I mean…you’re my advisor,” I said. “I wasn’t really going to doubt your advice.”
Joeth frowned. “Really? Normally I get some old bastard with deep, deep pockets who fusses about my every piece of advice. And the young ones are worst because they think they’re quick learners.”
“Well…you do carry yourself like…don’t know how to properly say this. You look like a vagrant, you track mud everywhere, you are very disrespectful to my servants and you didn’t even perform any of the customary greetings when entering,” I said. “Maybe that’s why you’re off-putting?”
Joeth laughed at that heartily, slapping his knee. “Oh no, I developed those habits after I got sick of people. They never bother to listen to me, even though they hire me. So I might as well get the job over with as quickly as possible.”
“Why is that?” I asked, tilting my head. “Why hire an advisor if you’re going to ignore him?”
Joeth shrugged, then leaned in over the desk, looking me right in the eye. “Most folks don’t want to be told what to do. They want people to agree with their decisions. But I’m not a sycophant, not gonna pretend like I don’t know better when I really do. So, if you want to work with me, you’re going to need to listen. Or I’ll become a real thorn in your side. Got it?”
This man was certainly talking a big game. But in a way, his attitude excited me. I was never an exceptional student at school. Sure, I was good, but I wasn’t brilliant. The ones who were geniuses, the ones who would undoubtedly be changing the world, sometimes fell into the same category as Joeth here. Arrogant, proud, irritable when folks didn’t listen to them. Something told me that this Erudite knew exactly what he was doing. Though, whether he was worth the pay was an entirely different question.
“Shall we start?” I asked. “Or do you want to continue raiding my liquor cabinet?”
Joeth grinned. “Let’s get it done! First and foremost, I want to see how you conduct yourself in a battle without any guidance. Then, I’ll provide a five point evaluation score. Score low and I’ll have to teach you the basics. Score high and we can move on to the important stuff.”
“I’m kind of in a time crunch here,” I replied. “I’ve got some real trouble heading my way.”
“I’ll say,” Joeth said, looking at his timepiece. “My forces should be here any minute.”
“Your…forces?”
“What, you think I’m just going to wait for an attack to happen so I can evaluate you?” Joeth said. “Exhibition match, against your Manor, starting in 3…2...”
At that moment, the overwhelming klaxons of the invasion declaration filled my ears. You have been challenged to a match of sport and skill. Accept? Y/N
Chapter 18
There was no fanfare, no crowds, no time for me to mentally prepare. One moment, I was in my office talking to Joeth, the next, I was in the Manor, watching as the first timer counted down for the attack. It was irritating, to say the least, to be dragged into a fight suddenly and unwillingly, but I had no other options. My personal trainer wanted an evaluation or else he’d walk. Part of me wondered if he was worth the trouble. But the other part was even more curious to see what he could possibly show me. A man this arrogant had to have a method to his madness, right?
Activating the Grid, I glanced at the Ma
nor battlefield. I had done quite a bit of work on the map beforehand, taking advantage of the four hills in the center of the map, placing ballistae on each one. With Miniature Trebuchets in the back and a proper maze design to ensure my enemies would have to go around the hills before reaching the wide clearing full of Stone and Karrack Golems, I knew this was a good, secure design.
I was partly tempted to supplement my defenses but held off. This was an evaluation match, to test my current skills. And one of those skills was design for the fight ahead. Besides, I didn’t want to waste resources. Instead, I just readied up and waited for the round to begin. Hopefully there wouldn’t be too many waves.
Wave 1/3
Enemies Remaining: 150
Enemies Total: 300
My eyes opened wide at the sight of 150 enemies. That was an absurd amount of forces. I couldn’t repel something like that. Unless maybe it was some small, extremely weak horde of enemies?
Those hopes were quickly dashed as I saw what was coming out of the gate. Dozens of lumbering, burly golems came forth, smashing the ground with their mighty feet as they walked. These golems were made of pure stone but were twice the size of a normal Stone Golem. I swallowed hard as I watched their health bars barely move as my towers began firing everything they could at the enemy.
“Hmmm, I like your design. A time waster. Very efficient use of barricades,” Joeth murmured as the forces continued down the way.
More golems appeared, all the same type. Larger Stone Golems with thicker skin, higher health points and even a faster movement speed. Nothing my ballistae or trebuchets could do to stop them. I managed to kill 1 by the time they reached the open area, where the Mana Sphere resided.
I dropped a vat of Quicksilver onto the lead group, hoping that the back-up Karrack soldiers would spark an explosion. As the silvery liquid splashed over the enemy wave, one of my Karracks fired, hitting the target true. The Quicksilver reacted violently towards the mana-based attack, exploding brilliantly, but when the dust settled only one golem had died.
“Come on!” I groaned, watching as the near endless horde of the exact same unit came pouring in. They promptly surrounded my Mana Sphere, ignoring the useless attacks from my own Stone Golems, then smashed the thing to bits in a matter of seconds.
Sphere destroyed! Match over! appeared in my vision instantly. My first loss in the Great Game. And it happened within quite literally a matter of minutes.
“So that was your brilliant strategy?” I asked, turning off the Grid. As the battle had ended, I was zipped right back to where my body had been sitting, in the office, across from Joeth. “Just throw hundreds of the same unit at me?”
“The most effective strategy is the one that works,” Joeth said with a chuckle. I crossed my arms and scowled at him. It wasn’t dignified to be such a sore loser, but I couldn’t help but feel as if he had tricked me. I mean, using overwhelming forces in the first round? For a sporting match? Where was the fun in that?
Joeth examined me for a moment and laughed more. “You are pissed. Seething, no doubt, because you lost. Let me guess your arguments. Please. You used too many units at once. You had access to units I didn’t. This was just a sporting match, but you took it seriously. Of course you won, you knew the fight was coming.” He paused for a moment and grinned widely. “Any more objections?”
“You left out some key swear words, but yes, you got the gist of it,” I said, leaning back in my seat with a grimace.
“It’s like this, my friend,” Joeth said as he stood up and began to raid my liquor cabinet once more. “I’m not going to screw around. Simple as that. I want to train and educate you with the understanding that at any moment, some Baron could try and kick down your door. And if he’s here to win, he’ll overwhelm you. You must be prepared to fight an enemy that outmatches you at any moment. You ready for your evaluation?”
While I was quite sore at having been thoroughly trounced at something I felt I was somewhat good at, I decided to put aside my frustrations and listen with humility. Though I would absolutely find some kind of petty way to get back at him later. “Go ahead, please.”
“Check the Grid, it should be up by now,” he said.
I furrowed my brows. What did he mean? I activated the Grid to discover a document was waiting for me, hovering in my vision. Evaluation Complete! the box said. With a tap on the window, I was able to see an extended list of how I did in the fight. There were five different areas with grades attached to them.
Maze Design
Total Score: 4/5
Grade Explanation: By utilizing a maximized delay strategy, you have demonstrated an understanding of the most valuable resource of all: time. Properly delaying encroaching enemy forces exposes them to your towers longer and can force large gaps in enemy swarms, reducing their overall efficiency.
Pointers: While your maze allows for the longest possible travel time, you lack additional methods to slow enemy forces down even more. A single Shield Golem in the road can waste further time. Don’t be afraid to lose golems! Fire Spice can always repair them! You always need more time, so sprinkle some heavy golems in the mix and make sure you add more in between rounds!
Well…this evaluation was actually rather generous. 4 out of 5 for Maze Design? I’d figure he would give me a 0 in every category for being obliterated so quickly. But I had to admit, it felt pretty good to be given high marks, especially after having my ass kicked like that. My eyes scanned down the page to continue reading.
Grid Commander
Total Score: 1/5
Grade Explanation: You used a grand total of 1 special ability during the battle and only at the end, when you were most desperate. In addition, you did not order your Karracks to form up in an advantageous way, allowing you a better fighting chance. You had no special units on the board that could be commanded to activate special abilities, nor did you have upgrades that allowed you to command your Stone Golems to move during rounds. These all point to a lack of clear understanding of how to properly command the Grid during combat.
Pointers: Too comprehensive to cover in an evaluation.
Synergy
Total Score: 3/5
Grade Explanation: This score evaluates all of your defensive maps, as a means to be more generous to your Manor’s score. Judging from your other maps, you clearly understand synergy in practice, combining tower effects and golems together to create interesting combinations. However, your Manor defensive structures seem to suggest you understand none of this. I chalk this up to you having worked on your Manor early on in your career and not having revisited it until now.
Pointers: You’ll need to experiment a little more with tower combinations. Certain towers and units, when combined with others, create Combination Effects, or Combos, as we call them. Combination Effects drastically alter the effects of both towers together. I’ll give you one combo for free: What happens when you combine a Polar Vortex from a Frost Golem with the flames from a Phlogiston Cannon?
Rule Comprehension
Total Score: 2/5
Grade Explanation: I can’t give you a zero since you clearly know how to place buildings down and you know how golems work. That’s a basic understanding of the framework. However, you fell for quite literally the oldest trick in the book. Boulder Golems look terrifying, but they cannot attack buildings or other golems. Had you known that, you would have called a time out during the battle to re-adjust your strategy. Assuming you know that time-outs are a thing. On top of that, you only used 1 special ability during the battle instead of using all four. I don’t know why. This points to either an inferior selection of special abilities or a lack of knowing how to use them properly.
Pointers: I’ve got an 18 volume rule book for you to read. And memorize.
Pluck
Total Score: 1/5
Grade Explanation: You almost instantly gave up when outmatched. Not a great way to impress me. Yes, I know, I know, you’re going
to say since it was an exhibition match it didn’t count and you weren’t afraid for your life, yadda yadda. But know this: how you train is how you will fight.
Pointers: Carefully press around your back with your fingers until you can find a spine. If one is located, remember to fight me as hard as you can, especially when the odds are looking grim. I don’t have time to waste on folks who won’t give me their all.
As I had guessed, the rest of the criticism was rather stinging and biting. Fortunately, I had somewhat of a thick skin built up from my years at school. Back then, a failed exam often meant some kind of explosion that injured you, leading to a long stay in the school medical ward and a lecture by your teacher at the same time. Usually the word “dumbass” was utilized more often than your own name. So the criticism, while pointed and stinging, wasn’t overwhelming. After all, I had brought this man in for the exact purpose of filling in the gaps in my education.
“You have rulebooks?” I asked, turning off the Grid to see that the man was now lounging on one of the fainting couches. He said nothing at first, carefully lifting a square of cheese from the dinner tray the staff had brought us. After a moment of aiming, he tossed it square at my head. The cheese bonked my skull and landed atop my desk, amidst several other squares of cheese.
“Indeed I do. Brought my whole catalogue. Nearly broke the back of the man who tried to take them. A Sig-something? Nice guy. Served in the war.”
“Sigmund,” I corrected. “We’ve been having trouble locating any real relevant information about the Great Game. Can’t find any books that actually describe real rules. Just documents on fights and concepts.”
Gentleman's Wars 2: A Tower Defense LitRPG Series Page 10
