‘So you won’t mind if I decide I want to keep him?’
‘Of course I do – I didn’t say that!’
Theo nodded slowly, still regarding her steadily, as if he was trying to see where the next button was, where the chinks in her armour were, how far he could push before she’d snap.
‘I’ll do the gig,’ he said.
Lara hadn’t expected him to back down so easily, and a new set of insults were hanging from her lips when she was forced to swallow them back.
‘Thank you,’ she said instead, almost choking on words that were far more civil. It was worth it, she supposed, if she got what she needed from him.
‘I’ll do the gig,’ he repeated, ‘if you let me keep Satchmo.’
‘What?’
‘Let me keep him. For good. He’s mine. You get your gig and I get the cat.’
Lara shook her head furiously. ‘No! No way, absolutely not!’
‘Then I’m afraid we have nothing else to talk about.’
Theo pressed himself forward, forcing Lara to step outside or to find her nose against his chest. Unwillingly, she stepped out into the evening sun again.
‘But Chas said—’ she began.
‘I know, but I’m sure he’ll come down on my side when I explain. It’s not like we’re short of bookings. I don’t know if you noticed but we’re pretty good.’
‘I wouldn’t have noticed,’ Lara said coldly. ‘Because jazz is literally the worst music ever invented! I’d rather listen to an elephant with a head cold. In fact, your saxophone sounds like an elephant with a head cold!’
Theo shrugged. ‘Suit yourself. Obviously your client disagrees. Good luck with finding another band for them.’
He began to shut the door again.
‘Wait!’ Lara cried.
His forehead creased slightly as he paused. He looked now as if even he was bored of this game. But he waited and Lara spoke again. She took a deep breath.
‘I’ll level with you. Please…’ She held up a hand as he looked ready to cut in and he nodded shortly for her to continue. ‘I’m sorry if I was rude to you. I need you to do this wedding – I won’t lie. I really need you to do it, and you could ask almost anything of me at this point and I’d give it to you, but… I can’t give Fluffy up. I just can’t, not for anything. If you said my business would go down the tube, I’d lose my house… whatever, I still wouldn’t be able to give him up. You have no idea how much he means to me.’
‘So he can only mean anything to you?’ Theo asked quietly. ‘What about me? I feed him too. He comes to my house and sits with me too.’
‘I know and I’m sure you’re fond of him and it’s not even about that. I can’t explain it, not properly. He came to me on the worst night of my life, just appeared from out of a storm as if by magic, as if he’d been sent to make everything better. And he did. When he was there I forgot all my pain; I was only happy when he was there keeping me company. I need him; I can’t…’
Lara shook her head, eyes filling with tears. Selina and her neighbour might have been watching but it didn’t matter now. She’d tried and she’d failed, and if the price of success was her beloved Fluffy then that was too high anyway. Without another word, she turned and ran for home.
Twelve
It was too late. Theo had seen her crying and she’d told him far too much about the night that Fluffy had arrived on her doorstep, and now she felt she couldn’t go back to him again to ask about the gig. If Fiona wanted his band then she’d have to negotiate the deal and if that meant Lara losing Fiona as a client then this time she’d have to risk it.
She’d run for two streets and then she’d stopped and walked the rest of the way home, feeling like a miserable failure. On top of all that, the one little soul who could have been waiting at home to make her feel better was at Theo’s house. The funny thing was that, despite her antipathy towards him and all that had been said, she didn’t blame Theo for not wanting to play at Fiona’s wedding. Lara probably had been rude and unreasonable and she only wished she could make him understand that the irrational way she behaved whenever he was around wasn’t really her at all. Lara could barely understand herself where that woman came from but something about Theo just brought her out.
When she got back to her house and finally locked the world out, she felt so wretched that she couldn’t even be bothered to drink wine. She spent half an hour pedalling furiously on her exercise bike, but that made her feel no better, and then she ran herself a hot bath, but that did nothing except make her feel floppy on top of her misery.
Her mum sent a text at around nine to say that she’d lost her birth certificate and could Lara go with her to the town hall for a new one, though Lara couldn’t imagine why her mum would suddenly need her birth certificate and couldn’t be bothered to ask. It was likely that Fay had simply realised she didn’t know where it was and thought that she ought to. Lara would bet a substantial amount of money that this had happened maybe half a dozen times during the years that Fay had lived in her current house. If they had a few weeks to look, there’d be half a dozen birth certificates stashed in hiding places so safe they were undetectable, even to the woman who’d put them there.
The night was hot and muggy, and Lara changed into her thinnest camisole and shorts for bed. Before she went up, she still had work to finish, though she could barely keep her mind on any of it. Still, after clearing away the remains of her uneaten dinner, she sat at the kitchen table and tried.
By the time the knock came at the door, she’d read about the event facilities at the grounds of Chester FC three times and not a bit of it had stuck in her head. She frowned at the clock and at the interruption. It was a bit late for visitors, and most people sent her a quick text to make sure she was in and available before they turned up. Unless this was an emergency?
Racing upstairs, she grabbed a robe to cover up and went to get the door. She’d probably looked better, but there was no point in worrying about that now. If it was some kind of emergency, she didn’t suppose they’d care if she looked a bit rough.
‘Selina told me where you lived,’ he said as Lara opened the door.
Lara stared at Theo, who stood on her doorstep with Fluffy in his arms.
‘I couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d said,’ he continued. ‘I had no idea that Satchmo had done all that for you and I don’t have a clue what it might be, but clearly it’s important… I mean, I’m fond of him too but I didn’t know… Well, whatever it was that happened to you I guess now I understand why he means that much to you. So I decided to bring him back.’
Lara couldn’t deny that this turn of events had shocked her, moved her, even softened her towards Theo. She couldn’t imagine what it had taken for him to come and find her house after all that they’d said on his doorstep. But he was missing the point here. Fluffy would never really be hers and Satchmo would never be his. The cat that they both loved might go by a dozen different names and grace a dozen different laps around Chester and he’d never belong to any of them. Nothing was clearer to her now than that.
‘He’ll just go back to your house tomorrow,’ she said wearily.
‘No he won’t. If he does then I’ll bring him back here. I’ll keep bringing him back here until he gets it – he’s your cat now, not mine.’
‘I don’t understand… Why would you do that?’
Theo shrugged. ‘I wanted to tell you I’ll play the wedding too. No strings this time, promise.’
Lara allowed herself a small smile. ‘I really appreciate that. Fiona will be thrilled too – she was really keen on you. In fact, you’ve got a fan there.’
‘But not in you,’ Theo said with a rueful smile. ‘What did you say my saxophone sounded like? An elephant with a head cold?’
Lara blushed. ‘Look, I didn’t mean that, it’s just that… well, let’s just say hearing jazz music doesn’t always bring back the best memories for me.’
‘All jazz music?’
&nbs
p; ‘I’m sorry, but kind of.’
‘You think maybe we could change your mind on that?’
‘I doubt it.’
‘Wow,’ he said, his gaze frank now as he looked at her. ‘Someone did a real number on you, didn’t they?’
‘It’s old news now. Listen…’ Lara hesitated. He’d come all this way to bring Fluffy back and she owed him some acknowledgement of that. ‘I know it sounds a bit weird after… well, after before, but do you maybe want to come in for a moment for a drink or something? Maybe we can finally talk about this stuff like adults?’
‘Sure,’ he said. ‘It’s probably a good idea to clear the air if we’re going to be working together.’
He stepped inside and Lara closed the front door. As she led him down the hall, Fluffy leapt out of his arms and raced ahead for the kitchen.
‘He might be hungry,’ Theo said. ‘I didn’t feed him. Thought it might help – you know, if I didn’t feed him and you did.’
‘That’s actually really nice of you.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s no big deal.’
‘It is, though. I know it is. Thank you.’
‘I figured you put forward a way better case than me. If we were in court for child custody, you’d have won hands down.’
Lara looked along the hallway to see that Fluffy was on his way back.
‘His food’s probably too old,’ she said. ‘I’ll have to put fresh down.’
In the kitchen she went to the cupboard to fetch a clean bowl and tipped some dry food into it. Fluffy fell on the bowl as she set it down, purring loudly.
‘You know what’s funny,’ she said as she watched him. ‘He won’t even eat that swanky food that I spent a fortune on now. Ate it for about two days and then no more. I have tons of the stuff left. It’s rotting in the cupboard as we speak.’
‘He was probably sick of the sight of it with both of us feeding it to him,’ Theo said with a low chuckle. Lara smiled up at him. He had a nice laugh when he wasn’t using it to mock her. She bent to fuss an oblivious Fluffy as he ate and, from nowhere, found that she was crying.
‘Hey, I’m sorry…’ Theo began, looking helpless.
‘It’s OK,’ she said. ‘It’s just so sweet of you to… and I was so horrible, and now…’
She rubbed a hand across her eyes to dry them but the tears wouldn’t stop. ‘God… so annoying…’
‘You’re not,’ he said. ‘Look, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll go—’
Lara straightened up and took a deep breath. ‘No, don’t. I offered you a drink – at least let me get that for you. You’ve come over specially, after all, and you didn’t have to.’
‘I won’t—’
‘I’ve got tea, coffee… I could open some wine. It’s nice wine – some fancy champagne stuff from one of my clients.’
‘It’s…’ He seemed torn. He wanted to stay; Lara could sense it, though his next words denied that. ‘I should go.’
‘You can’t stay for just one?’
He gazed down at her, the struggle clear on his face. There was something in the way he looked at her that made Lara feel… Her stomach flipped. She’d never felt so confused, so conflicted. Everything about this moment was wrong, nothing about the way she suddenly felt made sense, but there was a dark thought somewhere amongst the confusion that told her she’d always known this moment would come, that somehow, no matter what else happened, this would happen, that she wanted…
Him. She wanted him. She’d never wanted a man so badly, but she wanted him now and the need was almost mind-blowing. Something in his eyes told her he felt the same – something primal, some connection that went way beyond words.
‘Stay,’ she said. ‘I’ll try not to get violent.’
His voice was an octave lower when he replied. Dreamy, husky with promise. ‘Maybe I wouldn’t mind so much this time.’
Lara smiled, but her eyes didn’t leave his.
‘Are you…?’ he began. He stalled. He began again. ‘Are you…? This is so weird. Tell me I’m wrong if you want to, but are you feeling this tension too? You and me… I’m not dreaming this, am I?’
‘No, you’re not.’
‘But we… we hate each other, right?’
‘Yes, we do.’
‘So, what’s going on here?’
‘I don’t know,’ Lara said, letting unchecked urges take hold as she moved towards him. She might regret this in a few hours. She would most certainly regret this in a few hours, but some moments were bigger than regret and consequences.
‘Is this wise…?’ Theo said in a low voice, simultaneously loaded with lust and yet hopelessly out of his depth. Lara knew it because she felt it too.
‘Probably not,’ she replied as she pulled his mouth down onto hers.
Thirteen
Lara’s eyes opened. Someone was hammering at the front door. Then Betsy’s faint voice drifted into the house, though it was hard to tell what she was saying. She rubbed her eyes, groggy and not quite awake, and pushed herself to sit. Betsy…
‘Shit!’
Lara leapt out of bed and raced to the wardrobe, yanking out a pair of leggings and a T-shirt and pulling them on. Happening to glance back at the bed, she saw that Theo was awake now too. No, she hadn’t dreamt it then – he’d stayed over and they’d slept together. She’d only just woken and this thought had only just occurred to her but already she was filled with a vague panic that she’d made a terrible mistake. Theo didn’t look panicked at all, though. He looked ready to drop off again. Fluffy was curled up at his feet looking supremely smug as he slept on top of the twisted covers. Lara couldn’t remember him coming up to the bed, nor could she recall exactly what time she and Theo had finally fallen asleep, though she was sure Fluffy hadn’t been there when she’d finally drifted off.
Betsy’s voice came up the stairs again, this time clearer and more insistent. She must’ve been shouting through the letter box.
‘Lara! Are you OK?’
‘Duty calls?’ Theo asked sleepily.
If Lara had the time or inclination she might have taken a moment to appreciate how adorably dopey he looked first thing but she had neither. This was the worst kind of start to a working day. She was barely awake, barely firing on one solitary cylinder, let alone all of them. More importantly, how was she going to explain this to poor Betsy, who sounded worried to death? She couldn’t, not without some creative thinking. Inwardly she cringed at all the times she’d lectured Betsy about falling in with unsuitable boys, had passed judgement on the lads she’d met at nightclubs and told Lara about, and now here was Lara, doing one of the things she’d very firmly warned Betsy not to do – a one-night stand. Although, did it count as a one-night stand if you’d done it three times that night? In some quarters that was practically a marriage.
Lara stamped on some trainers. ‘I have to work.’
‘That’s one of the advantages of gigging,’ he said. ‘No early starts.’
‘Hmm,’ Lara said.
‘No early starts,’ he repeated dreamily, his words heavy with meaning.
Lara looked again and he was wearing the most innocent of expressions – but she knew exactly what he was talking about.
‘Well,’ she said briskly, ‘I have early starts and I’m currently very late for one of them. There’s bread, butter, jam, peanut butter… whatever you want in the kitchen. Cereal too. Help yourself to breakfast when you’re ready.’
‘Wait!’
Lara turned back, brush halfway to her hair, her body halfway out of the room.
‘Will I see you again?’
‘You know you will,’ she said.
‘Oh yeah, sure, I know that. I mean, why wouldn’t you want to see me? I’m just checking because this… Well, I’m just checking – are we a thing now, you and me?’
Despite everything, Lara grinned. There hadn’t been time to stop and think once they’d begun – there had only been instinct and lust and later contentment. Then maybe a littl
e more lust until they were both exhausted. But now, as she looked at him, she realised that it had meant more to him than that. And maybe it had to her too. Yes, he could be cocky and smug and infuriating, but he could also be sweet and kind and unexpected. And he was sexy as hell.
‘I think…’ she said, on uncertain ground, not really sure what answer to give. ‘We need to talk. Later.’
‘Whenever someone says we need to talk, nine times out of ten that’s a bad sign.’
Lara gave him a reassuring smile. ‘This is the one out of ten where it’s not bad. It’s just sudden, and we need to establish where we are. I think you’d have to agree on that much?’
‘If we agreed on that it would be our first agreement on anything,’ he said with a quick grin. But in the next second it faded. ‘I’m not one of those guys who use you and then don’t call. There are some of us who don’t do this sort of thing unless we really like the person we’re sleeping with. There are some of us who’d only ever do it knowing there’ll be more than one night.’
Lara flushed, a broad smile lighting her face. His admission was so unexpected, so sweet and sincere, it took her completely by surprise.
‘I know that.’ She stepped over to kiss him. ‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘And we still have to talk later.’
‘Yeah, I guessed that.’ He smiled in a way that gave him tiny creases around his mouth. Lara had never noticed those before. They were cute.
‘Don’t be sleeping there all day,’ she added. ‘Not while I’m working downstairs – it’s a bit rich. And leave by the front door, not the back; I don’t want Betsy to see you.’
‘Who’s—’ he began, but Betsy’s voice cut across him.
‘That’s Betsy,’ Lara said. ‘My apprentice. She’s young and impressionable and doesn’t need to know the sordid details of my sex life. So if you don’t mind…’
‘Front door, not back. Understood. Is your sex life really sordid? Was I sordid last night?’
‘Extremely,’ Lara said. She threw him a last grin before rushing downstairs.
The Break Up: The perfect heartwarming romantic comedy Page 15
