Jack would have showered and be dressed in jeans and jumper, with the heater on.
Before Zara had time to prepare her opening line, the door opened and Jack stood in front of her, dressed exactly as she’d known he would be. His blond hair was still damp from the shower, and it curled at the base of his neck.
Zara fought the urge to reach up and twist it around her finger. Jack was a good head taller than she was and was blessed with boyish good looks. Dave joked that he still looked like he’d just come out of the academy, even though he’d been on the beat for six years.
‘Hi,’ she said, swallowing hard.
Jack leaned against the door frame and looked at her. ‘Hi.’
‘Sorry about last night,’ she said, looking him in the eye.
‘Had a good time?’
‘Yeah. Late. Actually, I’m not sure what time I got home. Had a few too many wines.’
Jack just looked at her.
‘Can I come in?’
Moving away from the door, he stepped inside, leaving her to follow. With another deep breath, Zara went up the steps.
‘Do you want a wine, or are you off it tonight?’ Jack asked. He made no move to kiss her.
He knows, she thought. He’s heard already.
‘I’ll have a wine. Hair of the dog and all that. What are you having for dinner?’ Following him through the passageway, she thought she could smell chicken.
‘Kim popped over with a chicken pasta dish. Thought I might need something home cooked and filling since it’s been so cold.’
A trickle of dread dripped into Zara’s stomach.
‘I spent a bit of time talking to Jesse last night,’ she blurted out.
‘I know. You said that was who you were with before you hung up on me.’ He opened the fridge and got out a beer and a bottle of wine.
‘We had quite a few down there.’
Not looking at her, Jack poured the wine and handed the glass to her.
‘He walked me home. I was pissed, Jack. Really pissed and he wanted to make sure I got home okay.’
Jack stopped opening his beer, his hand still wrapped around the lid. ‘Did something happen?’
Zara immediately shook her head, holding eye contact. ‘No. Absolutely not. I kept falling over and he wanted to …’
‘Yeah, make sure you got home safely. You said that.’
‘I don’t know why I drank so much.’
Leaning against the bench, Jack took a long swallow of his drink. ‘Because you were pissed off at not getting any information out of Dave? And, at a guess, you were pissed off that you couldn’t ask me anything.’
‘Well,’ Zara said uncomfortably, ‘I wasn’t happy about what happened with Dave. But I know I can’t ask you anything.’
‘He said you fairly got stuck into him. That’s not like you.’
‘He fairly got stuck into me,’ Zara snapped, guilt-ridden anger welling up in her again as she thought about Dave’s cutting words. ‘I didn’t even catch the story in the end, Jack! Liz in Adelaide got it. Dave could have told me, and I wouldn’t have printed anything until I had his go ahead.’ Her voice rose at the injustice.
‘Is that all you care about? The story? What about your friendship with Dave, your relationship with me?’ He put his beer down heavily. ‘Didn’t any of that cross your mind when you gave Dave a mouthful or you hung up on me last night? When you ran off to bury your head in work and wine?’
Trying to control her temper, Zara clenched her teeth. ‘I’m not saying I don’t care about that, Jack, but you know as well as I do that I’ve got a job to do.’
Taking a step towards her, Jack glared at her. ‘I backed you up yesterday. Told Dave he should’ve known you were just doing your job. Then you blow me off and get drunk with some shearer who then walks you home. Tell me how I’m supposed to be happy with that situation.’
‘I’m not expecting you to be happy. That’s why I’m here, telling you what I did.’ She took a breath as his other words filtered through to her. ‘You backed me up?’
‘Of course I did. That’s what partners do for each other.’ He turned away and opened the microwave door as it beeped. ‘When they’re not out getting drunk with another bloke.’
Zara stared at his back. Embarrassed, she didn’t know what to say except, ‘I’m sorry, Jack.’
‘I’m sorry too. And I’m worried about you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re not yourself,’ he sounded exasperated. ‘You’re distant, all caught up in work. You rarely talk about anything else anymore.’
‘That’s not true,’ she said sharply, putting the glass on the bench. ‘Have you looked at yourself lately? God, you’ve got all stuffy and uptight.’ She crossed her arms, hugging herself, immediately regretting her words. Neither of her accusations was true, but she’d had to deflect his words.
‘I think you’d better go.’
Looking down at the floor, she didn’t answer.
‘I mean it, Zara. I don’t want to talk to you now. Just go.’
‘Sorry,’ she said again as she let herself out into the cold weather, which somehow seemed a whole lot warmer than Jack’s house.
Chapter 12
1980
‘Here we are.’ Evie pushed open the door and reached inside for the switch. Light flooded the narrow hallway and Evie stepped aside to let Rose in. She held one baby in her arms and the other was in a borrowed pram that Evie was pushing.
Anticipation flooded through Rose. A house! Her own little house.
The time in the hospital had been full of doctors and nurses, and cloudy thoughts. Once she was out of danger, she’d begun to enjoy that she wasn’t moving seemingly every other day, the bed was comfortable and there was a shower in her room, which she didn’t have to share with anyone.
It was easy to walk from the bed to the two cradles that had been set up next to each other, and there was a large armchair for her to sit and feed the babies before she put them down again to sleep. Rose liked the stability of the hospital and the fact that she was going to stay in Barker for a while.
The house Evie was lending her smelled musty, like it had been closed up for some time, but that didn’t bother her. An open window would sort that out soon enough. She stepped inside and looked up at the high ceiling and smiled. She could see this being a home, even though there was cleaning and painting to do. Off to the side was a kitchen, and as her footsteps echoed around the empty hall and she walked further in, she could see one bedroom opposite the kitchen and another two further down. The back opened to a small sunroom that ran the length of the house and had louvred windows along the wall.
‘It’s beautiful,’ she whispered, turning to face Evie, who was standing behind her, a half smile on her face. ‘Thank you.’
‘You should all be comfortable here,’ Evie said, looking down at the baby girl asleep in the pram. ‘Won’t you, Bridget?’
Rose smiled as she looked down at Alroy in her arms. She’d received Ian’s letter a week ago and had named his twins as he’d asked. A tribute to his Irish heritage, he’d said.
‘Yes, more than comfortable.’
‘Better than the Kingswood!’
Rose laughed. ‘For a home, absolutely!’ She turned around, the smile still on her face and a little bubble of excitement starting through her. ‘I’m so grateful, Evie. Thank you. And I don’t have to worry about furniture because it’s all here. How come …’
‘It was my sister’s. She went overseas, to Canada, about three years ago.’ Her voice faltered. ‘She was on a sightseeing trip when the bus went over the edge of a cliff.’
Rose watched her swallow and turn away, running her fingers along the wall as she walked towards the kitchen.
‘Everyone on the bus was killed.’
Following her, Rose wasn’t sure what to say. She ached to reach out and hug the kind woman she’d only met the month before and who was now offering her safety and security. A home. The hom
e of her dead sister.
‘I’m sorry.’ Her words sounded so inadequate for the enormity of the story.
‘Cassie would love to have you here.’ She stopped next to the kitchen table and touched the wooden top lightly, a sad smile on her face. ‘She was always gathering up orphans and people who needed help and bringing them here. You would’ve fitted right in.’ Evie swallowed a couple of times before speaking again. ‘Now, I’ve turned the fridge on and checked all the kitchen utensils. I’ve cooked two casseroles so you won’t have to worry about food for a couple of days, while you’re getting settled.
‘Everything you need should be here. Stewie and I went to the shed earlier today and found the meat-safe cot we used for our kids. Come this way.’ Evie indicated towards the front of the house.
Leaning into the pram, Evie picked Bridget up and she snuggled her into her chest. ‘Aren’t you precious? she whispered. Turning to Rose, she said, ‘We’ve given it a bit of a tidy up, so the cot should do for the bubs. They can sleep in there together for the time being. I’ve got my feelers out for another one. I like these types of cots. Keeps the kids safe from mozzies and flies. Out on the stations, the mums used them so snakes couldn’t get in with the babies.’
‘What?’ Rose looked at her aghast, then across at the white cot, which was up against the wall. She could see where it got its name: it looked like an old meat safe on its side—a wooden frame, with fly wire inside to let the air flow through and keep out any nasties.
‘Oh, yeah, those houses out in the bush, they had dirt floors and cracks in the walls and under the doors. Snakes were a daily part of life. Along with the flies and mozzies. The kids were tucked up nice and safe in these things.’ She patted the top of the cot affectionately.
‘Sounds scary,’ Rose said, thinking about her two precious babies.
‘Could be,’ Evie answered in her practical way, patting Bridget’s back. ‘There’s also a rocker—I know it’s old and could do with a clean-up, but you’ll have time to do that in the next week or so. I’m trying to find one that might carry twins, but I’m not having much luck at the moment. It’s easy to find things for one baby, but two, well, that’s a little more difficult.’
‘I’m so grateful,’ Rose said again.
‘Tomorrow, once you’re unpacked and settled in, we can go down to the church op shop and see what clothes we can find for the babies. And I’m going to Port Augusta next week, so you can come with me if you like and buy some nappies and so on. There’re some things you just have to have new. Or, if that’s too hard with both of them, just give me a list and I’ll get them for you.’
‘I’ve got a little bit of money,’ Rose said. ‘That would be lovely. I can give you some towards fuel and a bit of rent.’ Evie waved her hand away. ‘I’d be going anyway, and the house is sitting empty. It’s beneficial having you in here because the house will be looked after.’ She turned and headed towards the front door. ‘I’ve got to get on. I’ll let you unpack. If you need anything, just yell; I’m only a couple of blocks away. The corner store is that way.’ She pointed north. ‘They have a good range of fresh fruit and veggies, and the butcher’s shop has nice meat. The truck comes in with fresh produce every Tuesday, so that’s the best time to shop. If you like, only get what you need for now and we can do a bigger shop in Port Augusta when we go.’
Rose walked Evie to the entrance.
‘One more thing,’ Evie said as Rose opened the front door with her free hand. ‘Don’t forget to make that doctor’s appointment with Ben Hooper. He’s a nice bloke and will take you under his wing. We need to make sure those bubs are happy and you’re upright!’ She smiled as she touched Rose’s arm. ‘You’ve had a bit of a going-over with the blood transfusions and emergency caesarean. He’s going to need to keep a good eye on you.’
‘I can’t tell you how much this means.’ She wanted to give Evie a hug but wasn’t sure if she should.
Evie didn’t give her a choice, pulling her into a quick cuddle which made both babies squirm as they were squashed together. ‘You’ll be right here, Rose. Barker will look out for you. See you later.’ She gently placed Bridget in Rose’s free arm. Alroy was in the other and Rose jiggled them both gently until they were comfortable.
‘See you later.’
Rose watched her new friend walk down the path and open the front gate, then shut it behind her with a click. She wanted to hug herself! Jump with joy! Run around and throw open every cupboard door and look at everything all at once. But she didn’t have the energy, and she had two babies in her arms.
Evie had been right when she said Rose had been through the mill. It had taken four weeks for her to recover enough to leave hospital, and to ensure the babies were healthy and strong. Four weeks of constant blood tests and monitoring. Not just for her but for the bubs as well. Four weeks of visits from Evie, and one from Ali, but never from Ian. Her jaw clenched at that thought.
He’d sent messages. Letters. But he hadn’t come in to see them, to meet his children.
Still, Rose reminded herself, she had a house! A base for her children and Ian when he came.
And she had a new friend.
‘Can you believe it?’ she whispered to the baby in each arm, as she looked around in wonder. ‘We’re home.’
It was dark when Bridget cried out for a feed. Rose had fallen asleep in the chair, overlooking the cot that held both children. Even after four weeks, she found it hard to believe she was a mum of two littlies.
Picking up the crying child, she undid her bra and latched Bridget onto her breast. Greedily the baby sucked at the nipple and Rose felt instant relief as the milk left her. Her breasts had nearly doubled in size since her milk had come in. Evie had managed to find her some maternity bras; they were ill-fitting but workable, and matron had plied her with cabbage leaves to stop the heat and help ease the ache.
I smell like a Sunday lunch at Grandma’s—steamed cabbage, she thought with a smile.
In the pale glow of the passage light Rose had left on, she pulled out Ian’s last letter, delivered by Ali. She almost knew the words by heart now.
Sweet Rosie, nothing is the same without you here. My bed is empty and I miss your warmth next to me. Your smile.
The shed is nearly finished. Maybe another week. The boss ended up with five hundred more sheep than he thought he had. I don’t know how that happens when someone should be keeping records. Still, I’m not complaining. More money for us when I’ve finished.
How are you and the babies?
Ali told me you’re getting stronger by the day. It won’t be too much longer before I can get in to see for myself. She also said that the babies both have red hair! Such good Irish stock.
Sweet Rosie, I must away to sharpen all the gear for shearing tomorrow. It’s been a hard shed. The wethers are strong and there is much dirt in the wool, which blunts the cutters more quickly than normal.
I’ve prickles all through my hands from the burrs the sheep have picked up as they’ve been sleeping or grazing. Still, I’ve loved it and can’t wait to get back on the road again.
Not long until I can see you all.
My heart, Ian
Rose had tried to write back saying exactly that—she didn’t want to get back on the road again—but the words hadn’t come and the babies had needed bathing, changing and feeding, so the letter had remained unfinished on the kitchen table.
‘Can’t wait to get back on the road again,’ Rose said quietly, letting her head fall back against the wooden frame of the rocking chair. ‘But, Ian, I don’t want that.’
She looked down at her daughter and saw she had fallen asleep. Her rosebud mouth was open, and ginger eyelashes brushed her cheeks as she slept. The thought of loading the children up every few weeks was more than Rose could bear.
‘No, Ian, I don’t want that.’ Standing up, she placed the baby back into the cot next to her brother and stood there looking at them both, her heart full of love. ‘We can’t
do that.’
Chapter 13
Ian threw the last of his gear into the back of the Kingswood and slammed the boot shut. A puff of dust rose into the air and he shooed away the flies that were gathering around his face.
‘See you at the pub tonight?’ Kiz asked as rolled a smoke and offered it to Ian.
He took it, knowing it would be his last one for a while, almost certain that Rose wouldn’t let him smoke around the kids.
‘Yeah, I’ll be there,’ Ian said.
Muzza let out a whoop. ‘Good to know that the ball and chain won’t stop ya. We’re heading there as soon as we get to town. Get rid of some of this dust in my throat.’
‘I’ve got to visit the kids first, though. I want to at least see if they look like me!’
‘God, another two of you, Paddy. The world isn’t ready for that. Anyway, she should’ve brought them out to see you. You’ve been working, makin’ sure they’ve got money.’
‘Yeah,’ Kiz said. ‘Don’t forget they’re your kids too, mate. She’s not got the right to keep them from you.’
Ian wanted to explain that even if Rose had a car and could drive, she couldn’t have brought them out anyway; they’d all only just come out of hospital. Four weeks in there would be enough to make any person insane. He was sure that Rose would be sick of being stuck in one spot, and desperate to get back on the road again.
‘I’m goin’ to get my pay. Catch you boys in town.’
As he walked towards the house, he heard the slamming car doors and shouts of the men who were excited to be heading to the closest pub. He’d left getting his pay until last because he wanted to be alone to thank the family who’d helped his own, without jeers and taunts from the other blokes.
He knocked on the office door.
‘Come.’
‘G’day, boss.’ Ian stuck his head around the door before he entered.
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