by Tillie Cole
Mae’s shoulders sagged. She held that fucking journal against her chest like she was scared I’d toss it in the fire if she let it go. She was right. I would. I didn’t wanna know shit about my mother. A shitty life was no excuse for leaving me behind for the Diablo prez. Fuck, I had to work alongside Chavez most days now. It was his old man my mother had shacked up with.
I didn’t wanna fucking know.
Kissing Mae again, I went into my office and shut the door. I slumped behind my desk and took a long fucking breath. My cell buzzed.
Ky: They’ve made it to the first check-in.
Me: Good. Any trouble?
Ky: Not yet. But we’ll no doubt hear the alarm come morning when Quintana realizes the bride has been taken.
A sick kind of smile spread on my lips. I wanted that fucker to suffer. I wanted him to know I was coming for him and that his days were numbered. I rubbed my hand over my head, then texted back.
Me: Good.
The email intercepted by Chavez and Shadow, explaining what the cartel planned to do to us in an attack, lay on my desk. I looked down, and I felt like punching the fucking wall when I read the section that had stood out to me.
Take the mute’s slut of a wife and unborn kid and sell them to the contact. They’ve been looking for someone like her. But make the mute watch her being beaten to within an inch of her life before you slit his throat and burn that fucking club to the ground. Nazis are taking too long as always. We’ll kill them in one quick attack.
My heart slammed in my chest as I tried to calm the fuck down. I reached for a smoke and the Beam that I kept in my desk drawer. I took a long drag. The python in my throat was like a vise, choking me the fuck out. I shut my eyes, but all I could see was Mae in some Mexican’s arms, Charon in her belly, as she was kicked to shit. And me, held back by the cunts, unable to do a fucking thing about it.
I pushed back from the desk and marched to the living room. I stopped in the doorway. Mae lay asleep on the couch, with that journal open on her chest. Moving her shoulders, I sat down and laid her head on my knee. My hand trailed through her hair. Still as long as it ever was. Still just as black.
My own fucking Persephone.
She only got more beautiful by the day.
Mae’s stomach shifted. I reached out and laid my hand over her dress, my lips hooking into a smile when I felt my son kick my hand again. I exhaled a long breath as my hand moved upward and landed on the journal. I stared at that leather book like it was a fucking grenade.
“Get the fuck in here, Mute,” my pop said. He walked back into his office.
“What the fuck d’you do now?” Ky asked.
Shrugging, I walked into the office. I didn’t know.
“Shut the door,” Pop ordered.
I did as he said, then I heard someone suck in a breath. I looked over to see a slut in the corner of the room. She’d been beaten up. She had blood on her face and was crouched on the floor. “River?” she whispered. My stomach rolled at the sound of my real name.
I frowned. My pop laughed. “Don’t recognize her, kid?” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s because I’ve rearranged her face. Or maybe it’s because you were so young when she betrayed us for Diablo cock.” He paused, and I knew it was so whatever he said next would punch me harder. “It’s your slut of a mama.”
My eyes widened as shock cut through me. “Mama?” I wanted to say, but my throat wouldn’t work. I couldn’t fucking speak!
“Kid’s still a retard. Actually . . .” My pop laughed. I couldn’t stop looking at my mama. She started crawling toward me. I wanted to go to her, but when I tried to move, my pop said, “One more step, kid, and I’ll make sure you don’t wake up for a week.”
I stopped dead, because that was a promise I knew he’d keep. He’d done that before. I wasn’t going through that shit again. Pop turned back to my mama, whose eye was closed with bruising. “Like I said, he’s still a retard. Can’t speak for shit. But it got worse when you left.” I glared at my pop. I fucking hated him at times. He smiled at me. Sometimes I wanted to punch him so hard. “You made him st-st-stutter. My fucking heir to this kingdom, nothing more than a useless little mute cunt. Who the fuck is ever gonna be scared of him? How the fuck will he ever lead my Hangmen when I’m gone?” My pop shrugged. “The fucker takes after you. Weak-as-piss retard.”
“River.” My mama reached out for me. I felt my throat getting thicker, and tears built in my eyes. But I couldn’t cry. Pop would beat me if I dared cry.
In a second my pop was off his chair and gripping my mama’s hair. He yanked her to her feet. Mama screamed, but Pop didn’t care. “She left you, kid. Don’t let her crawling on her slut knees, calling you by that piece-of-shit name she gave you, fool you. She fucking left you for a Diablo.” I frowned. We didn’t like the Diablos. They hated us and we hated them. My pop told me that one day soon he was gonna catch one and give me my first kill. He said that another war with them was coming. It hadn’t been long since the last one ended.
“River,” my mama said. “I can explain, baby. I’ve come back for—”
“Shut the fuck up, bitch.” Pop punched my mama in the stomach. Her legs buckled, but Pop’s hold on her hair kept her upright. Pop looked at me again. “She left you, kid. She chose her new man over us. She’s back now because he saw through her pathetic shit and doesn’t want her anymore. Or . . .” He turned her and slapped her across the face. I stepped forward, ready to stop him, but Pop smiled at me over her shoulder. I knew that look on his face. I didn’t dare move anymore. My heart was beating so fast, and all I wanted to do was rip her out of his arms and run away. “Or have you come here for that cunt? Has he sent you in as a mole?”
“No!” Mama cried. My pop turned her around until she faced me. Mama held out her hand. “River . . . I’m so sorry . . .” she whispered, but before she could finish what she was saying, Pop put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. My eyes snapped shut as the bang thundered around the room. When I opened my eyes again, Mama was on the floor, blood pouring from her head. But her hand was still stretched out in my direction, and her eyes were open . . . and looking right at me.
“Mama . . .” I whispered. I felt a tear on my cheek.
Pop walked past me and slapped me across the face. “Cut the pussy fucking tears, Styx. That slut was nothing but trouble from the first time she spread her legs for me. Sanchez sent her to start the war. And it worked. She didn’t want you, kid. She didn’t love you. This was all bullshit, and she was using us to get in further with the Diablos. She’s going to the boatman with no coins on her eyes. She can wander lost for eternity. It’s what the whore deserves.” My pop slapped me on the back, then left the room. I stared at my mama until the prospects came in to move the body. I stared at her blood drying on the floor until someone came in and cleaned it.
She didn’t want me.
She’d only come back to start a war.
She was a fucking whore, like my pop said.
And I hated her for going off with Sanchez. I hated her for leaving. But most of all, I hated her for not loving me enough to stay . . . or at least take me with her . . .
Mae shifted, snapping me from the memory of that day, and moved closer to me on my lap. I looked down at my hands; they were fucking shaking. Asshole, I said in my head. Pop was right—you’re a fucking weak-as-piss retard. I closed my eyes and got my breathing under control. I was the fucking Hangmen Mute—I didn’t feel this shit. Especially over a slut who didn’t want me.
Mae’s arms wrapped around my waist, and the journal fell to my side, the spine digging into my hip. I took in a deep breath and breathed out through my nose. I clenched my jaw, fucking ready to rip out my own traitorous brain as the memory I’d tried to forget still played on a loop in my head. Doubt was starting to creep up my back. Had she come back for me? Had she come to take me from Pop and all the shit he put me through?
Mae sighed. “I love you, River.”
River . . . Rive
r . . . River . . .
I took another mouthful of Beam and swallowed it down, feeling it burn a path from my chest to my stomach . . . then, like the weak piece of shit I was, I picked up the fucking journal. My hand shook as I held it.
Like I said, he’s still a retard. Can’t speak for shit. But it got worse when you left . . .
Had it? I couldn’t fucking remember ever speaking right. Then again, I didn’t have many memories before that night—just a blur of hanging with Ky and avoiding my old man’s fists. But I remembered watching my pop put a slug through my mama’s head with crystal clarity. I remembered her dead, open eyes and the smell of her blood. And I remembered hiding the trunk she’d brought with her in my room, in my closet. I’d never seen what was inside, and forgot all about it . . . until today.
I stared into nothing, just listening to Mae breathing, for a good few hours. Until I opened the journal and stared at my mama’s handwriting. It was messy, but if what Mae had read was true, it sounded like she wasn’t from a good background. I didn’t even know if she’d gone to school.
I didn’t mean to start reading. But I did. With Mae in my lap and our boy in her belly, I read about the woman I’d always been told was nothing more than a slut, a shitty excuse for a mother.
Shade Nash was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. The minute I saw him, and he smiled my way, I was his . . .
Chapter Six
Tanner
“Shit, darlin’. You’re making me nervous with all that leg twitching and hand rubbing. You okay?” Beauty pointed her knife at me over the table. “Don’t even try to tell me my brisket ain’t good, because then I’ll know you’re a liar, Tanner Ayers. And I don’t tolerate liars.”
Beauty’s voice ripped me from my head. Her eyes were narrowed suspiciously on me, which made me smirk. “Nah, Beauty. You know your brisket is the best.”
She smiled and sat up straight, shaking her shoulders. “That’s what all the boys tell me.”
Tank raised his eyebrows at his woman. “All the boys?” he said dryly.
Beauty tapped Tank’s cheek with her red-taloned finger. “You know I weren’t no virgin before you came riding into my life, darlin’. So yeah, a few boys have tasted my brisket . . . ” She leaned closer to my best friend. “And they fucking loved the taste . . . as do you.” Beauty got up from the table, winking at me before getting us some more beers from the fridge.
“Tann?” Tank asked. “You thinking of Adelita?” His head tipped to the side as he watched me. Tank sighed. “Tann. Fucking speak. Fucking say something! How the fuck are you still not telling me a thing?”
“She’ll know by now. She’ll know her cousin has been taken.”
Tank’s eyes narrowed. “She’ll understand in time.” I ran my hands down my face. I wasn’t so sure she would understand. Tank didn’t know Adelita. She’d be pissed at me. Pissed I didn’t stop it. But what the fuck else was I supposed to do?
“You not feeling the club anymore?” Tank asked quietly. “You’re not wanting out, are you?”
My stomach fell. “Fuck no.” I meant every word. Of course, I wasn’t sure how the rest of my brothers felt about me and Adelita. Didn’t know if Styx still wanted me around after I kept this from him. “I’m good,” I said. Tank looked as though he didn’t believe a fucking thing I was saying. “Tank . . . It’s the first time I’ve ever felt like I belong somewhere. Everything else in my life has gone to shit. But I want in this club. Never fucking doubt that.” I cleared my throat, changing the subject. “You heard anything from AK and the others?”
Tank stared at me for a bit too long. But then said, “They’re almost home. Clean retrieval.”
But I knew Quintana. He’d be losing his shit, and no doubt planning on bringing hell to the Hangmen’s door. I could only imagine Adelita. The fucking fire that lived in her igniting over this. How that fuck Diego would use it as the excuse he needed to truly bring the force of the Quintana family to Texas.
“You know—” Tank started to say, when suddenly our cells went off. I ripped mine from my pocket and read the text. “They’re back.” Tank got to his feet, went over to Beauty, and kissed her. “Gotta go to church, beauty queen.”
Beauty slapped Tank’s ass as we walked out. “Gonna go see Mae.” Tank waved over his shoulder, and we jumped on our bikes. My heart pounded as I tore up the few miles of road between Tank’s place and the club. The gates were open, the prospects waving us through. The second I parked up, I was off my bike and gunning it to church. I stood at the back of the room and waited impatiently for everyone to get the fuck in.
When the door was closed, Ky spoke. I held my breath as he looked each of us in the eyes. Then he smiled. “We got her.” The brothers nodded their heads, and the excitement built in the room.
“This means war is imminent, right? Actual tearing fuckers apart?” Rudge said from next to Vike and Bull. Bull’s eyes were fixed on Ky. Fuck, everyone’s were. “I feel the need to cut up some cartel flesh,” Rudge added.
Styx hands started to sign. “We’re gonna let the fucker stew for a while. Left no trace it was us.” Ky paused as Styx’s hands stopped. Styx looked at me. “Tanner said no one knew about those tunnels.” Styx’s lip curled in a sort of smirk. “They might question if it was us.” He sat back. “But they’ll question the Klan more. They would know we got no way to know those underground getaways. And let’s just say Shadow was good at laying a trail that might lead them back to Governor Ayers’s door.”
My breathing stopped for a second when I thought of my brother having to take on the cartel and the Hangmen. Then I pushed him from my head. I had to let that shit go. Beau wasn’t the brother I used to know. If he fell under the cartel, then that was the way it had to be. But the pain in my chest never left.
“And the cartel slut-bride?” Cam, a member of the Frisco chapter, asked. “Where’s she? What’s the plan with her?”
Styx lifted his hands. “She’s in the warehouse. We take shifts watching her.” My heart beat so fucking loud I barely heard Ky talk to me when he translated, “Tanner. We need you on cameras, so you need to push the connection to your bitch shit aside and focus on the job. Need more surveillance setting up. Quintana is gonna come in strong when he discovers it’s us.” He paused, glaring at me. “I find out you’ve been going against orders, I’ll knock you out myself.” I nodded. Bastard.
Styx addressed Tank. “Need Beauty in on this. Need her around to deal with the cartel whore.”
“Done,” Tank said. I caught his suspicious eyes, but I looked away. Beauty was in. I could use that. I could get intel on Adelita from Beauty . . . somehow.
Styx went to sign again, but the door to church opened and AK walked in. The brother was covered in dirt. That’s what you’d get after three days on the back roads from Mexico. AK looked at Ky and Styx. “She’s awake.” AK shook his head. “And fuck, but that slut is tapped. Spewing Spanish at us and trying like fuck to get free.”
I knew the plan. Shadow would have drugged her until they got home, Edge watching her to be sure they didn’t kill her or some stupid shit like that.
“Nice.” Vike rubbed his hands. “Love me a feisty Latina. I’ll take the first shift.” He got up.
“Sit the fuck down, Vike,” Ky said. Ky looked to Tank. “Get Beauty here. You and Bull will take first shift.”
Tank nodded, and I knew this was my chance to see the cousin, whoever she was.
“The bitch was in her wedding dress,” AK said and shook his head. “She’s in that warehouse, in that fucking wedding dress, her nose stuck up in the air like she’s the fucking Queen of England, hurling insults at us. Fuck knows what she’s saying.” AK shrugged. “That bitch is pissed. Fucking stunning, but pissed. Looks like Uncle Quintana taught her well.”
“I’m hard. Anyone else?” Vike said. “I like a slut who screams insults at me. Shut your mouth, you ginger cunt. I’m gonna rip you a new asshole—fuck, never were sweeter words spoken.”
&nb
sp; Styx lifted his hands, ignoring him. “I have duties for y’all. We’re on high alert. And warn your old ladies now: we hear one word that the cartel know it’s us, and we’re on lockdown.” Heads nodded. Jokes stopped. Styx slammed down the gavel.
Church was done.
Tank jumped on his bike and disappeared in the direction of the warehouse. I ducked into my bedroom and searched the cameras. I focused on the ones around the warehouse, seeing the moment Bull and Tank arrived to relieve Crow. Slash, Ash, and Zane were there too. I needed to get cameras inside the warehouse. Fuck my orders and the threat of Styx’s fists, I was speaking to that bitch about Lita.
I upgraded what I could with what I had, then I ordered more cameras from a local store and jumped into one of the club’s trucks to go pick them up. By the time I got back and installed them around the club, it was dark. I checked my screens. Tank and Bull were still by the warehouse. Beauty must have been inside. I assumed the prospects were near too.
Sitting back in my chair, I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath. What the fuck would I say to Lita’s cousin? How the fuck would I get her to trust me? To get a message to Lita?
“Fuck!” I spat. But Adelita’s face was immediately in my head. Driving me forward. Fuck, since the day that bitch had entered my life, she was all I could see. The one who controlled me.
Snatching the camera and tool kit from beside me, I left my room and walked past the bar. Brothers were inside, as usual. But I ducked past and got in the truck. My pulse raced faster the closer I got. For the first time in two years I was going to speak to someone who knew Adelita . . . someone who, after she was released, could get a message to her.
Tank stood off the wall he was leaning against as I parked up the truck. “Cameras?” I nodded, pointing at the stuff in the cab. Bull came over and started taking the cameras into the warehouse.
“Bitch still calling y’all out?” I said, gesturing to the warehouse.
“Yeah,” Tank said. “Beauty’s been in there a while, and that seems to have shut her down some.”
