by Kristen Cobb
“Breena.” Etain nodded but did not dismount.
“Etain. What a delightful surprise. I heard you left us to go live with the mortals. Has your father allowed you to return?” Declan’s mother spoke the words with a deceptive sweetness, the antipathy behind the question easy to hear, clearly intended to take a deep and painful jab at her opponent.
“No. We have come about your son. If you will remember our sons were friends.” The controlled cadence of Etain’s response was admirable given the circumstances.
“Until your father cast them out.” Breena’s beautiful blue eyes narrowed just enough to give away the anger she felt toward Ciaran, and by association Etain.
“Your son is currently holding mine hostage. I was wondering if you knew anything about that?” Etain’s eyes never left Breena’s.
Nessa watched Breena’s reaction closely. The woman hid her emotions well. She could not tell if the woman knew anything about the plot, showing absolutely no reaction to Etain’s statement.
“Now why would he do a thing like that?” Breena glanced at her with a knowing look before turning back toward Etain, a telling moment. Breena knew why her son abducted Conri. Declan’s mother would never help them find Conri.
“It might have something to do with you chaining him to a tree every night!” Glenna stared angrily at Breena, years of pent up resentment bubbling to the surface.
“We should go.” Nessa knew that would get everyone’s attention. Glenna opened her mouth, ready to launch into another tirade. Nessa held up a hand to stop her. “We have a long trip ahead of us. It is quite apparent that Declan’s mother knows nothing about his current machinations.”
“Quite so.” Breena lifted her chin as if highly insulted they would even consider her complicit.
Nessa locked eyes with Etain, expecting her to be the more reasonable of the pair. After a moment Etain nodded, turning her horse to leave. Nessa followed along next to Etain, the long line of guards forced to wait for them to take the lead.
Glenna almost immediately began her verbal assault. “Why did you do that? What if she…”
“Declan’s mother knows everything. It is entirely likely the plot to abduct Conri was her idea.” At the moment Nessa could only feel grateful she never had a mother. Declan would have been better off without one.
“How could you tell?” Glenna’s anger turned to curiosity.
“When Etain mentioned the kidnapping Breena looked directly at me. We never mentioned why Conri was taken yet somehow she knew it had to do with me. She knows because she is the one who set it in motion, still determined that her son be able to change form.”
They rode in silence after that, each lost in their own thoughts.
STOPPING for the night provided one more frustration in the search for Conri. Nessa considered flying home with Glenna and Etain, leaving the guards to finish the journey tomorrow, but could not bring herself to break the promise to Rory that she remain with them. There was also the added dilemma of clothing. If she flew back with Glenna and Etain none of them would have clothing when they arrived. Failing to make provisions with Rory to leave a window open limited her options.
Nessa laid her packs of food down on the ground next to Etain and Glenna. Will sat with the rest of the guards in a tight formation encircling them. A feeling of pride washed over her as she watched him. Sword strapped to his back, ready to defend her at a moment’s notice, Will finally found his place in the world.
Sitting down next to Etain she opened both sacs of food. Etain was already sharing her food with Glenna. Rory gave them all two sacs of food in the double packs made to hang over a horse’s back, each pack stuffed full. Rummaging around in one of the sacs she settled on a half loaf of bread and a wedge of cheese.
Pulling her dagger from its sheath in the pocket on her thigh Nessa cut a bit of cheese from the wedge then placed the rest back in the sac. She set the bread down on top of the bag then the slice of cheese on the bread. Looking down at the dagger made her think of Conri. He handed her the weapon one night at the evening meal, telling her he was tired of sharing. There were Celtic knots engraved on the hilt just like the ones she watched the monks draw in manuscripts when she was a child.
Nessa ran her hand over the cool metal of the hilt, tracing a finger over one of the knots, thinking about the night Conri handed it to her. She could still see him in her mind, looking deeply into her eyes as they sat at the table in front of Rory’s dais, handing her the gift. Desperately fighting back tears telltale pools of moisture began welling in her eyes. Picking up the bread and cheese she threw them into the grass. With no desire to eat she stood up, walking swiftly toward the circle of men.
Nessa watched one of the guards stand up. She could not remember his name at the moment. Conri had so many men under his command. Her entire focus was on holding back the tears until she escaped all of the watching eyes. The guard nodded at someone behind her then lowered himself back to the ground as she passed.
She did not stray far, only to the edge of the river. There was a large boulder, much like the one she visited with Conri on her second night at Rory’s. The night they bathed together. Memories of Conri, while precious, were intensely painful right now. The tears began to flow down her face in an unstoppable deluge of grief as she sat on the grey rock staring out at the slow moving river without really seeing anything. They’d only just found each other. How could it already be over? Etain quietly sat down next to her.
It was a relatively peaceful area, seemingly untouched by man. A few scattered trees stood as silent sentinels, watching life slowly pass. A group of four or five fish swam by near the surface of the water. They likely had their own trials to deal with. Danger lurked around every corner for all creatures. No one was immune.
“I have cried more since meeting your son than I have in my entire life.”
“Falling in love changes your life. Whether you wish it or not.” An intense sadness lie beneath Etain’s comment, alluding to her own feelings for Conri’s father.
Using both arms to wipe the tears from her face with the sleeves of her shirt Nessa welcomed the chance to talk about something else. “How did you two meet?”
Etain continued staring out at the river. “I did not mean to make this about me. Pretend I…”
Nessa laid a hand on Etain’s arm. “Please, there is nothing I can do to help him tonight. I would like to think about something else, even if only for a little while.”
Etain looked at her for a moment, reluctant to talk about Conri’s father. Eventually she turned back toward the river and began to speak. “I became curious about where the outcasts were sent. One day I flew the length of the river, all the way to the ocean. I found an enormous stone building perched on the edge of a cliff. It appeared to be carved from the rock itself as if the structure were raised magically from the limestone cliff. On a balcony looking out over the ocean stood a man. I wanted to get a better look at him but there were no trees to land in. I decided to fly right up to the balcony and perch on top of the waist-high wall surrounding it. He looked at me for a moment then completely ignored my presence. It is not exactly surprising to find a seagull by the ocean.”
Nessa turned to face Etain, legs crossed beneath her, completely engrossed in the tale. “You must have gone back.”
“Oh yes, I flew back and forth between Killala and Knocknashee quite often after that. It is not a short journey by the way.” Etain actually smiled.
Nessa wiped the last of the tears from her face, distracted by Etain’s story. “Why did you keep going back?”
“I was drawn to him. He seemed so sad and lonely. I would fly to Killala and wait on the balcony for him. After a while he became accustomed to my presence. He would say hello and ask how I was doing then laugh when I screeched in answer. My visits seemed to make him happy. He actually started to smile once in a while. One day I decided to be brave. He was already there when I arrived. I landed on the balcony next to him and immediately
changed into human form, naked of course, a bold move for someone who has never been known for her bravery.”
Although she had no desire to divert Etain from the topic at hand Nessa could not allow that comment pass. “You are very brave. You just did not know it. Your father is a very dominant man. It has taken a while for you to find your own strength. I am sorry you will never be able to go home but this might all work out for the best.” Nessa leaned forward a bit, eager to hear the rest of Etain’s tale. “Now, what happened when he saw you?”
Etain grinned. “At first he just stared at me. Then he kissed me. I think you can imagine what happened after that. We ended up in his bed. There was no conversation, just an afternoon of intense passion. Every time I returned after that we spent the day in his chamber finding pleasure in each other’s arms. One afternoon I fell asleep in his bed. When I realized what happened I panicked. If my father found out I was having relations with an outcast, well, you know what would happen. Kaelan asked me to stay. Not just for the night but for good. I refused and never returned.” Etain’s eyes conveyed a painful amount of sadness and regret. “I was not brave enough to choose Kaelan over my home and family. I should not have been surprised at finding out I was pregnant but I had no idea what to do. I lied to my father, telling him I had been consorting with a mortal. He despised my son from the beginning. It became much worse as Conri began to grow and look like his father. Now I know why he hated Conri so much.”
“Do you believe your father, that Kaelan is one of the ancients?” Nessa had a feeling Ciaran was telling the truth. The glee in the man’s eyes when he realized Kaelan lied to Etain appeared genuine.
Etain shrugged, shaking her head. “It is entirely possible. Kaelan never actually claimed to be an outcast. I just assumed.”
“If Glenna cannot convince Declan to abandon his plan we will need Kaelan’s assistance. He might know something that could help us find Conri.” Nessa wondered what Conri would think about his father being one of the ancients.
“It is long past time I faced Kaelan and told him we have a son. I will take you to meet him even if Declan reveals Conri’s location.” Etain stood up. “We should get some sleep. As you said, there is no more we can do tonight.”
“I will be over in a bit.” Sleep would prove elusive right now. The restless need to help her husband an itch she could not quite reach.
Thankfully Etain nodded and walked away rather than arguing about it. She absolutely refused to take a guard with her if they traveled to Killala. Rory’s concern for her safety, while valid, wasted too much time.
She had not slept even a moment since finding out Conri was being held hostage. Without a doubt exhaustion would eventually overwhelm her. If not for the need to rest the horses they would be traveling through the night. Conri could be suffering while she sat around doing nothing. Nessa picked up a smooth grey rock, throwing it into the river, frustrated by the entire situation.
An unpleasant thought crossed her mind as she watched the ripples created in the water. Assuming they found Conri alive there was only one way to ensure this never happened again, remove herself from his life. Declan would not be the last to use her love for Conri in an attempt to obtain her powers. Convincing everyone she no longer loved him seemed the only viable solution. He refused to even consider bonding with her and Conri would never allow her to guard him every moment of every day. Her love for him provided the one and only reason he was currently in danger. Removing her love would remove the threat.
Much like the ripples created by the rock Declan’s actions would have unintended consequences, emboldening others, quickly spreading the word that her powers were real and could be shared. No matter how this ended her life with Conri was over. His safety needed to be her only concern. This could happen again if she did not take action to protect him. She promised never to bring up the topic of bonding again. That was a conversation Conri would need to initiate. She refused to break her vow and ask him again.
Having a long-term plan to ensure Conri’s safety provided a small amount of inner peace as her mind quickly began to formulate a plot.
DECLAN REFUSED to reveal anything about Conri’s location, even to Glenna. He seemed more amused than anything when his childhood friend walked into the room, recognizing her immediately. Declan considered her attempt to manipulate him adorable, casually declaring it would not work. At this point Nessa believed him. Glenna insisted on staying with Declan, their childhood repeating itself in a vicious cycle, Declan chained while Glenna remained by his side. It was really quite sad.
Climbing the stairs to Rory’s chamber Nessa wondered if anyone ever truly escaped their past. The task ahead of her was no less depressing, about to enter a fake relationship again, this time for the sole purpose of breaking Conri’s heart. Before meeting with Declan she asked Rory if they could speak privately. He agreed to have the evening meal brought to his chamber, allowing them to dine alone.
Reaching the top of the steep, winding stone staircase she opened the door without hesitation. Declan would not be the last to try and use Conri against her. The only way to prevent that from happening would be convince everyone she no longer cared about him. Persuading Rory to take part in her plan would not be easy. He cared for Conri a great deal.
Rory sat at the table in his room, watching the door, waiting for her. His bedchamber was no larger than the one she shared with Conri. The towers were all the same size, limiting the dimensions of the chambers within. The small table nearly overflowed with food and drink. His large bed took up the rest of the space with barely enough room for two end tables. There was a window opening next to the table, covered at the moment by a pair of wooden shutters. Two candles burned in an iron candelabra set in the center of the table. The intimate setting momentarily caused her to hesitate in the doorway.
She needed to be brave and do this for Conri. The plan would require many more intimate moments between herself and Rory. An image of Conri formed in her mind. It should be him sitting there waiting for her.
Forcibly pushing thoughts of Conri from her mind Nessa closed the door, walking over to the table. Rory motioned to the seat across form him, an unnecessary gesture since there were only two chairs at the table, one on each side.
“Thank you for meeting me. I will be leaving with Etain as soon as we are done here but there is something I need to discuss with you first.” Nessa looked down at the wooden plate full of food. Meat, bread, and cheese were all neatly arranged. She had no desire to eat.
“Has Declan revealed anything useful?” Rory filled the metal goblet in front of her with what appeared to be ale.
“No, nor do I believe he will. I am allowing Glenna to stay with him in hopes she might make some progress. Etain and I will travel to Killala tonight to speak with Conri’s father. He might be able to tell us something about Declan that will help find Conri.” Conri’s father was her last hope. If that failed she would be left with two options, bond with Declan or search all of Ireland one house at a time. Searching under those circumstances would take far too long leaving her, in reality, only one option.
“Why not wait until morning. Give yourself and the men a chance to get a good night’s rest.” Rory picked up his dagger spearing a slice of meat on his plate.
“I am not taking a guard this time. Etain and I will fly. It is much faster.” Nessa watched Rory set the dagger and meat down on his plate without taking a bite, preparing for a fight.
“This is not open for discussion.” Rory’s obsidian eyes met hers, determined and ready to do battle over the issue.
“No, it is not. Traveling by horse is taking too long. I can move faster on my own. This would be much easier on me if I had your support. I need a way to fly directly into the castle when I return so I have access to my clothing. Without your cooperation I will be forced to walk in through the front door naked.” Relief settled in when Rory did not immediately begin arguing.
He leaned back in his chair, a grin slowly sp
reading across his face. “An interesting image. Being less than accommodating might be in my best interest.”
Nessa fought back a grin of her own. “Do you ever think about anything else?”
“Occasionally.” Rory winked. “I will leave the window in this chamber open for you, giving the servants strict instructions not to close it on penalty of death. You may leave your clothing here.”
“Thank you.” Nessa watched Rory pick up his dagger again, the piece of meat still speared on the end. She could hold off asking him for the next favor but that would not make it any easier. Waiting until he finished chewing the food in his mouth Nessa reached across the table, laying a hand on his arm to keep him from taking another bite of meat. “I have another favor to ask. It is a fairly monstrous one so you might want to refrain from having anything in your mouth when I ask. Your death would seriously hinder my plan.”
Rory laid the dagger and slice of meat down on his plate, dark eyes conveying pleasure at her statement. “I remember a time not so long ago when my death was what you desired more than anything.”
Nessa thought about his statement. Who would have thought she could be this comfortable with Rory O’Connor, the man she’d been determined to assassinate. Now she could not imagine a world without him. That thought brought with it an unpleasant realization. He would die while she lived on, possibly for centuries. Mortals would come and go, her life continuing without them. The jovial mood Rory was trying to maintain vanished for her in an instant. Everything about this situation proved depressing.
Rory reached across the table grabbing her hand, weaving his fingers through hers. “I am sorry. I should not be joking at a time like this. Anything you need.”
Tears quickly filled her eyes. Overwrought emotions swirling like a storm inside of her were balanced on the edge of a precipice and this discussion threatened to push them over. “I do not like to think about your death.”
