by Kristen Cobb
Ronan stepped in front of Will. “That makes no sense. Why would Nessa be following you around as a bird when she clearly left you for another man.”
“Stop lying to me or we are going to have a problem.” Conri moved closer to his brother, more than ready to punch him in the face if one of them did not start talking.
“I cannot keep doing this. He deserves to know the truth.”
Ronan turned on Will. “Keep your mouth shut. Do not ruin what she put in place.”
Will moved out from behind Ronan, clearly struggling with the decision.
Conri decided to try a different tactic. “Please, my wife has obviously been lying to me for months. The wondering will likely be worse than the truth.”
Will continued to stare at him, on the verge of giving in.
Ronan moved to step in front of Will again, completely blocking his visual path to the man attempting to pull the truth out of him. “It is what she wants. I would not suggest betraying her trust.”
Will’s eyes remained locked on Ronan’s, still appearing to teeter on the edge of giving in.
Ronan’s implication conveyed a clear threat. Most people were terrified of his wife at this point. He heard the stories of what she did to Declan. Will was unlikely to talk unless assured Nessa would never find out.
“You have my word that I will not openly confront her with anything you tell me. Nessa will never know you broke her confidence.” Hopefully that would be enough security against Nessa’s wrath to entice Will into revealing all.
Will looked at Ronan. “We have to tell him. If I were in his place I would want to know. Can you honestly say you would not feel the same?”
Ronan finally sighed and nodded, stepping out of the way and waving his arm in a grand flourish.
“She is trying to protect you.” Will’s eyes conveyed a sincere apology for having waited so long to reveal the information, a sadness that could not be missed.
“Protect me from what?” She had seen to his safety by rescuing him.
“Nessa is terrified it will happen again. She blames herself for what happened to you. Her reasoning is that if everyone believes she no longer cares about you then there is no reason for anyone to bother abducting you to try and control her.”
Conri took a moment to process everything Will said. Nessa never stopped loving him. Quite the opposite actually. His wife gave up her own life as a human being to ensure his safety. So many things began to fall into place now. He could still hear her voice on the day she rescued him, promising she would never let it happen again.
Conri looked to Ronan. “When did Nessa come up with this plan?”
“Before we even found you.” Never had he seen such a somber expression on Ronan’s face.
Conri thought back to his own behavior after Nessa rescued him. He took all of his embarrassment and anger out on her, accusing her of sleeping with Ronan while he was being tortured. “All of the times I saw you two together?” He apparently misinterpreted everything that happened since his abduction.
“Talking about you. The night we rescued you, while we sat by the river, she relayed her plan to make everyone believe she loved your friend Rory. Nessa asked me to stay with you, to watch over you and make certain you were not alone.” There was no apology in Ronan’s tone or gaze, only a matter of fact accounting.
“And the night at our father’s house, when I saw you two alone out on the cliff? I saw her hug you.” A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach felt as if he’d swallowed a large boulder. How could he ever have believed she would be unfaithful while he was being held captive?
“Talking about you of course. That is all the woman really cares about. It is maddening at times.” Ronan rolled his eyes. “You were being a horse’s backside again if you will think back and remember the evening honestly. As soon as you walked away with father, after basically accusing her of being a whore, she began crying. I took her outside so she could weep over her tragically obnoxious husband in private and what does she do? The fool woman tells me what a wonderful man you are. She hugged me out of gratitude for agreeing to leave my life behind and follow you here. The day we arrived at your friend’s castle I pointed out that you are a miserable and thoroughly flawed individual. She actually proceeded to tell me she loves your flaws too. Can you believe that?” Ronan glanced at Will in disbelief.
Will grinned at Ronan. “They do say love is blind.”
“Then my brother’s wife is a tragic example. How can anyone remain so devoted to a man clearly flawed beyond redemption?” Ronan shook his head in frustration.
He desperately wanted to know what she said. If only he had known at the time. Would it have changed anything? Likely not. An intense rage burned within him after the kidnapping. Nessa had simply been the most convenient target. Apparently it took the realization of his wife’s enormous gesture to wake him from the anger-induced haze. “What did she say?”
Ronan waved his hand about. “Some silliness about loving that you are grumpy because she is the only one that can always make you smile. I remember something about loving the ridiculous commands you give her. Who would love those things?” Ronan looked back and forth between him and Will, almost as if he expected an answer. “When I told her it made no sense she said that meant I had never been in love. Can you believe that? As if she were some kind of expert.”
Overcome by so many emotions Conri had no idea how to feel. He thought back and saw Nessa’s actions with a clarity that never should have escaped his notice. The night she professed to be in love with Rory, standing on the balcony at his father’s house she laid her hand over his and promised to spend the rest of her life ensuring his safety. The day they returned to Rory’s castle was another that should have set off some kind of recognition. The very instant Rory’s guards grabbed him Nessa became a thunderbolt of fury, pulling Alana’s head from the sac and threatening them with the same fate if they did not release him. She openly defied them to look to anyone else, including Rory, for direction. She defended him with a ferocity that declared how much she loved him. Never once did Nessa seem to worry about Rory being hurt. He could still remember making some comment about her caring for him so much she fell on Rory’s penis.
She lied and broke his heart but he could not claim complete innocence in all of this. He broke a very important promise. The day he tricked her into leaving his chamber and coming to Marta’s cottage he asked her to always trust in their love for each other above all else. He made a vow to do the same.
“I was a fool to believe her lies.” Now came the truly difficult part, making it right without revealing he knew the motivation behind her actions.
Ronan slapped him on the back. “There is no arguing that. One kiss from you could have avoided all of this heartache. Without much effort on your part she would have fallen into your arms confessing everything. You treated her badly brother.”
Ronan’s unpleasant but sadly true statement brought another fact to his attention. An important detail he somehow neglected to notice. He never once saw Nessa kiss Rory. Quite the opposite had been true when they feigned a relationship. It felt as if he were suddenly waking from a nightmare, recognizing that none of it was real.
“How are you going to change her mind without revealing that you know? Remember you gave me your word…”
“I will not need to say anything.” Conri grinned at Will. “My wife is going to reveal her secret and fall into my arms, which by the way is exactly where she belongs.”
The slightly terrified look disappeared from Will’s face. “How are you planning to do that? I doubt she will give up easily at this point. Nessa is absolutely certain her love puts you in danger.”
“My wife has a tendency to do the wrong thing for the right reasons. It is definitely a flaw but one I would not change.” Conri slung an arm across Will’s shoulders and began walking back toward camp, more specifically Rory’s tent. He intended to teach his wife a lesson about deceiving him. There would be n
o more lying after this, ever.
Ronan followed along beside them. “Which makes no sense at all. How can you say that after all she has put you through?”
Conri thought about Ronan’s question for a moment before answering, wanting to find just the right words. Nessa was right. His brother had never been in love. “She is a passionate woman who loves with her entire being. Nessa would do just about anything for the people she cares about. While I am certainly displeased that she lied to me I cannot fault her reasoning or her motivation. The woman loves me so much she has been living as a bird to ensure my safety. Nessa did not just break my heart she broke her own, to protect me. I cannot even put into words what it feels like to be loved that much.” Conri removed his arm from Will’s shoulder. “I hope you find someone who makes you just as crazy someday. Trust me, the joy is worth the occasional bouts of heart-wrenching pain.”
Ronan shook his head in disbelief, rolling his eyes. “You are both insane.”
Conri could not seem to wipe the smile from his face as the three of them headed into camp. Rory’s tent was not all that far from where they stood. “I am going to torment my wife.” He broke off from his brother and Will trying hard to contain his happiness. Nessa would realize something had changed if he walked into the tent grinning from ear to ear.
By the time he reached Rory’s tent a more believable expression hopefully hid his true feelings. What he really longed to do was pull his wife into his arms and kiss her senseless.
Walking through the tent flaps he swaggered straight to the table, sitting down next to Nessa, feeling more like a man than he had in months. His wife still loved him. The knowledge changed everything in an instant. He caught Rory glance at him with raised eyebrows from across the table. The center of the table contained a platter of meat and another covered with thick wedges of cheese as well as two metal pitchers.
Nessa’s plate remained relatively full. Conri grabbed the third goblet from the middle of the table. Looking into both pitchers Conri chose the one with water, deciding it best to keep his wits about him when dealing with his wife.
“What are you doing?” Nessa sat staring at him, a horrified expression on her face.
“Having something to eat. I do it most mornings. Has it been so long that you do not remember?” Pulling the dagger from his belt he grabbed the third plate and speared two thick slices of pork.
“I meant why are you doing it here.” His wife’s voice conveyed frustration but her eyes told a different story. Nessa watched every move he made now that her initial shock seemed to have worn off.
“After giving your vision serious consideration I have decided not to leave my king’s side. If his life is in danger I should be there to protect him.” Pushing the slabs of meat off his dagger he grabbed a few wedges of cheese, dropping them on his plate.
“I can protect Rory. There is no need for such vigilance on your part.” Picking up her dagger Nessa glanced down at her plate full of food but made no move to eat any of it.
“I could not possibly leave you alone to such a task. I understand the two of you are back together. Carry on as if I were not even here.” He almost laughed at the look on Rory’s face.
“You cannot be serious.” Nessa was staring at him with what could only be called astonished disbelief.
Deciding to give his wife something to think about Conri looked into her eyes. “I would never deny you that which you desire most in this world.”
They ate in complete and total silence after that.
13
Nessa seemed to be praying. For some people that might not be such a strange occurrence. Father Laurence prayed, so did the monks. His wife never prayed. Not once in all the days and nights they spent together had Conri ever seen Nessa pray to the Christian God. She’d been at it for quite some time too, on her knees beside Rory’s bed, hands clasped tightly, eyes closed. Of course Rory always brought a full bed with him. Designed to pull apart easily, except for the mattress, it could be transported in a wagon.
Rory sat across from him at the table drinking rather excessive quantities of ale considering the time of day. Every once in a while Rory would look over at Nessa and sigh. The three of them spent the entire day together. Wherever Rory went Nessa went. Wherever Nessa went he followed. His wife appeared to be nearing her breaking point, which made him smile. All she needed now was a gentle nudge over the edge.
“Since when does she pray?” Conri made sure to keep his voice low so Nessa would not overhear.
“It is a recent development.” Rory took a swig of ale, watching Nessa.
“How recent?” He knew the answer but felt the need for confirmation. It had something to do with his abduction.
Rory shrugged and shook his head.
Conri grabbed the goblet out of Rory’s hand, setting it on the table. “I need to speak with you, privately.”
Rory sighed dramatically then nodded. Their relationship had never been one of king and subject when they were alone. Rory followed beside him as he walked out of the tent.
Conri led him far enough from the tent that Nessa would not overhear, nor would the guards on duty. “I know everything.”
“Define everything.” Rory’s loyalty to Nessa could certainly not be questioned.
“I know the two of you are pretending to be lovers because she wants everyone to believe she no longer cares about me. I know she is doing it to protect me. I also know my wife is the hawk that has been following me around, which means she never spent so much as a night in your bed.”
“Ah, that everything.” Rory did not appear even the slightest bit remorseful.
“Yes, that everything. How could you not tell me?” Until this very moment Conri had not seriously considered Rory’s part in Nessa’s scheme, the fact that his wife still loved him overwhelming every other possible concern.
“She truly believes this is the only way to protect you.” Rory looked away for a moment, deciding how much to reveal. “Nessa told me what happened, how badly they hurt you.” Rory looked him in the eye now. “She said if they arrived even a few days later you might not be with us any longer. Your wife is determined to keep you alive. I can find no fault with that. Do you have any idea how difficult it was for her to push you away? How hard it has been for her to stay away. Do you remember the first night the hawk came to you?”
Conri merely nodded, at a loss for words. Each person he spoke to had more stories about his wife’s devotion while he sat about with his head stuck up his backside believing she betrayed him in the worst possible way.
“She had just finished telling me about your ordeal. Your wife wanted me to understand what you went through. When she asked to change the subject I informed her that I set a date for Conor’s execution. The first thing she did was change into a hawk and go up to the roof looking for you. The woman could not even make it one day without you. Thus began her plan to become the hawk. She needs to be near you. That is why she is in there praying, for the strength to stay away from you while she is in human form. In truth she never intended to become human again while you were alive. So you ask me why I went along with her plan. The answer is simple. I trust in her love for you. She is willing to live the rest of her life as a bird to ensure your safety. If that is not love I have no idea what is. In the spirit of complete honesty I am also in love with your wife. I very nearly allowed Conor to live just to please her. I have a difficult time denying her anything.”
What did one say to something like that? His closest friend just claimed to be in love with his wife. Conri could not think of even one appropriate response. Anger made no sense, falling in love came unbidden when you least expected it in his experience. Rory would have no control over that particular emotion. Nessa clearly remained devoted to him, having no interest in a romantic relationship with Rory.
“I am well aware that she does not feel the same way about me but there seems no point in denying my feelings at this juncture.” Rory looked straight into his eyes,
waiting for some kind of response.
“I am not entirely certain how to respond. Should I punch you in the face again?” Conri found himself grinning, finding not a trace of anger in his heart. He trusted Rory and his wife at this point. Pity would likely be a more apt reaction. While Nessa did seem to care for Rory she would never be in love him. Even he could see how much his wife loved him at this point. Rory stood not even a remote chance of winning her heart.
“I would rather avoid that if at all possible. Are we good?”
Conri stared at Rory for a moment with a sidelong glance, eyes narrowed in concentration as if giving the question serious consideration. “On one condition.”
Rory sighed. “What now.”
Conri almost laughed. Rory was well and truly trapped in the middle of this mess. “Do not tell my wife that I know. I need her to confess all to me by choice.”
“Good luck with that. She is one stubborn individual.” Hearing Rory say that did not inspire confidence that his desired outcome would come to fruition.
“She does however have one weakness.” Nessa was right. She could always make him smile, no matter how dire the situation. The reluctant grin curling one corner of his mouth due only to thoughts of her.
Brow furrowed in confusion Rory contemplated the statement. A broad smile reached his eyes when the answer occurred to him. “You.”
Conri nodded. “My wife can pray all she wants. It will not help her.”
Rory slapped him on the back of the shoulder. “Work fast my friend. She demands that I am faithful to a relationship in which I am not allowed to have any sex, with her or anyone else. Can you imagine such a thing? Do you have any idea how difficult that is for me?”
“Feel free to go and plow as many fields as you want tonight. I could use some time alone to seduce my wife.” Just the thought hardened his shaft.
