Temporarily.
And we’d need the Order for that.
I had a suspicion baby Jesus was more likely to attend dinner tonight wearing suspenders than getting them on board with opening a gate.
Faye spoke of how they were fully aware of the prince’s plan to go all super-villain on the world. It was about an hour or so later when Ren and I left the room. There was still a lot to discuss, but my head was already bursting with the limited knowledge I’d gained, and it was just good to get out.
Out in the hall, I stopped and looked up at Ren. “Can we go outside?”
“Whatever you want.”
So that’s what we did. We headed out to the courtyard. It was surprisingly free of fae, but then again, it wasn’t particularly warm out here. Drawn to a large swing, we sat side by side.
I had no idea how we were going to deal with the prince and his minions, find the crystal, and get his blood without him kidnapping me, and then somehow magically do all of this inside the Otherworld.
We were only outside for a few minutes when Tink rounded the corner, carrying little Dixon in his arms.
“At least he’s clothed,” he muttered.
“There is that.”
“There’s really not room for three,” Ren grumbled as Tink walked up to the swing.
I smiled faintly as Tink plopped down on the other side of me. “There’s totes room for three,” Tink said, shooting Ren a look. “If you have a problem with our closeness, you’re more than welcome to leave.”
Ren sighed. “I should’ve let you starve.”
“Whatever.” Tink put Dixon in his lap. “You wouldn’t know what to do with me.”
Dixon promptly climbed out of Tink’s lap and into mine. I stared down at the little guy, and he stared back up at me and started making bread on my stomach with his little paws.
“Heard you met with Tanner,” Tink said. “He thinks I’m amazing.”
“Let’s ask him what he thinks of you in a few days,” Ren replied. “I bet it changes.”
“Hate the game,” Tink said, leaning forward. “Not the player.”
“What?” Ren frowned. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“I’m just going to ignore you now,” Tink commented, and then jabbed me in the side with his elbow. “I was worried about you, Ivy-Divy. You slept like you were a Disney princess who ate a rotten apple.”
I arched a brow as I scratched the kitten above its tail. “I think you mean a poisoned apple.”
“Whatever. Same difference. Prince Charming over there couldn’t wake you with a kiss,” he said. “That’s all I know.”
“You’re going to need more than a Prince Charming to wake you when I knock your ass unconscious,” Ren said with little heat behind the threat, watching Dixon as he curled into a little ball and promptly went to sleep.
Tink huffed and then laid his head on my shoulder. I was used to him doing that when he was much, much smaller.
The three of us sat there in silence, and I don’t know why, but I felt like crying again. I was such a mess. Such a mess. Maybe I just needed to sleep another two days. The knot in my throat was expanding, but there was something I needed to say.
“I . . . I just want to thank you two for not giving up on me,” I said, focusing on Dixon. I cleared my throat. “For looking for me and for caring.”
“You don’t need to thank us,” Ren said. “You never need to do that, sweetness.”
“For once, I agree with the loser,” Tink replied. “I already told you. That’s what we do.”
Tears burned my eyes. “Yeah,” I croaked out, pressing my lips together.
“You’re going to be okay,” Ren said, seeming to sense I needed to hear that, because I really did. He stretched his arm out along the back of the swing, curling his fingers around my shoulder.
Tink nudged my arm, careful not to wake Dixon. “Of course she will be. She has us.”
Us.
That was the first time I think Tink had ever referenced himself and Ren in the same sentence and had it not end in insults. Wow. Progress. Or he was that worried about me.
Tink was probably just that worried about me.
And that was okay. He worried because he cared and loved me. And even as hard as it was for me to believe and understand, Ren cared too.
Ren loved me.
Sitting in between Ren and Tink, I turned my face up to the sky and closed my eyes. I let the sun soak my skin and start to warm places inside me that were cold and dark.
I was a little torn, frayed around the edges, and it was going to be a long, bumpy road to being a hundred percent okay. And nothing was going to stop and wait for me to get there. Drake would be coming for me, or he would be going after another halfling. We had to find the crystal, and we had to stop him. None of that could really wait.
But I was going to be okay.
I was a halfling. I wasn’t the same Ivy from a few months ago. Everything was different now. I was different. There were places in me that were still cold, that were still full of insidious shadows, but I wouldn’t be cold forever.
Careful not to disturb Dixon, I reached over and placed my hand on Ren’s leg, palm up. I felt the sharp breath he took. A second later, he folded his hand over mine, and he squeezed.
I lifted my gaze to his, but I didn’t need to say anything. I leaned into his side, resting my head against his shoulder. I felt his body relax almost instantaneously. My gaze slid over to Tink. He was watching us with those pale, blue eyes. He winked.
I was not alone in any of this.
I was only a little torn, but not broken.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll be okay.”
And I was brave.
Torn Page 33
