Two months passed in a flash. It was always like that when I was busy. When I enrolled into Princeton University, I hadn’t thought that it would be this hard and challenging. And you guessed it! I was dying. Not literally, but still. I was barely sleeping and wandered around the apartment and campus like a zombie. Yeah, like one of those walking dead people in the movies. The books were insanely long and tough. Everything I had done until now was just kindergarten. This was the real deal. And the real deal drained every cell of energy out of me.
It was morning and I was sitting behind the laptop, proofreading a paper that was due yesterday. Yeah, after begging the professor he extended my deadline to tomorrow. Post-grad life was a hell.
I was feeling nauseous the whole morning and my head was hurting me. Apparently I needed some sleep and time off. And that wasn’t possible because of my exams. Damn exams and damn the one who invented them. I cursed some more as my eyes darted across the last page of the paper. Then I felt something rising in my throat and I figured that I was going to vomit. What the heck?
Setting the laptop on the table in front of me, I hurried to the bathroom with gagging noises. Going to my knees, I spilled last night’s dinner into the toilet together with today’s breakfast. I felt awful, as if a train had ran me over and over again.
With a hand on my stomach I returned to the couch in the living-room and sprawled myself. My headache was escalating as well. I seriously thought that I was going to die. It hadn’t been this bad. Never. What was wrong with me?
I rewound the last couple of days, a week before and then some thoughts started to gain form in my mind. Clark Kent aka James Clarke… Sean…
“Shit!” I said out loud. It wasn’t like I was… No, no… I was still young. I still hadn’t finished grad school. I still hadn’t opened my, oh, so desired law firm. I couldn’t be… Pregnant? With child? A mother? Me? I laughed hysterically.
I dismissed the thoughts. However, I had plenty of work and I couldn’t be distracted by these stupid things, so I decided to settle everything. I went to the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test.
I did what was required of me and waited, sitting on the toilet. Those were the longest minutes of my entire life. I felt like Hamlet. “To be or not to be,” I whispered and chuckled at that. In times like these all I could think of was Hamlet?
“Fuck,” I shouted. The test showed two lines and that meant… Kayla Vaughn was pregnant? What the hell?
And then a grin appeared on my face. I was embracing the results fast, it seemed. Being a mother was a lovely, noble thing. My whole life flashed before my eyes. How it would look with a kid next to me. It would sit in a chair while his mommy graduated. It would play with toys when mommy worked in her law firm. But where was daddy? Who was the daddy? I honestly didn’t know.
“Screw you for sleeping with two guys,” I said to my reflection in my mirror.
Immediately I went to my couch and put my head into my hands. What was I going to do? First, I was going to call mom and dad; that was for sure. And then? Then what?
My hand reached for my cell and I opened the contacts list. The name Sean shone before my eyes. Should I call him? But what was I going to tell him? That he was possibly a father and possibly not? That the chances were fifty-fifty? No. I threw the cell on the couch and fondled my stomach. No. It wasn’t the time for that. No.
And just like that many months had passed and I was still denying it to myself. I was pretty big now, with a book in my lap, studying about laws in the medieval times and fondling my tummy. It was where my little baby lived. I was already getting emotional, so I put the plug on those thoughts. I saw a jar of pickles on the table and stood up to fetch them. My baby craved them and so did I. It was a massive experience, my pregnancy. And something no movie could have prepared me for.
I had horrible morning sicknesses every single day, wanted a crazy amount of weird food and cried a lot. Like seriously a lot. The tears I made every day could fill a whole bucket. And I usually cried for stupid reasons that would never even have moved me a year ago. Stuff had changed since then and here I was—Kayla Vaughn eating pickles from a jar while killing time on her laptop.
The search engines became my worst enemy and nightmare. Especially these days. As my nine months of pregnancy were coming towards an end, I was more and more tempted to tell Sean. My ex. Those two short words still felt odd on my tongue.
I didn’t know why but I was feeling desperate and lonely today. Out of the blue I typed “Sean Coleman” in Google’s search bar.
“Oh my goodness,” I spoke aloud, not believing my eyes. At least half a year had passed since we had broken up and now this. Sean was on the cover of an all men’s magazine in his underwear, with girls around him.
Apparently he had given dirty interviews, dated models and stuff like that. My insides were boiling. Was I feeling jealous? Of who?
Here I was with a huge stomach while he became a playboy. And right then my doubts were confirmed. He was never going to be a good father and husband. He must never find out about my baby. He wouldn’t be fit… No, no. I should keep all of it a secret. And besides there was no way for him to find out a single thing about me. It wasn’t like I was the most popular woman on the planet. Unlike him.
I closed the lid of the laptop and returned to my book. It would be a nice distraction. Oh, Sean what did you do?
Rushing I came out of the cab, screaming in pain. The entrance of the hospital loomed before me. Oh, fuck! It was killing me!
I yelled from the top of my voice and the cabbie was fortunately here to give me a hand.
“Are you okay, madam?”
“Do I look like I’m okay?” I shouted in his face. All of my muscles were contorting and I was red in the face. I was drenched in sweat. And why wouldn’t I be? My baby was coming out.
“Which month are you in?” The cabbie said as he helped me to the hospital’s doors.
“Ninth. Oh my God! I’m going to die!” I cried.
“Calm down, madam. We’re right here,” he said as we climbed the stairs together. “Do you have a husband or a boyfriend?”
“None of the above,” I breathed out. My stomach was killing me, my head was splitting, my lungs were on fire, and my heart was beating like crazy. My soul seemed to leave my body. “Thank you, sir. For being here with me.”
“No problem,” he said and it was all I could hear before I passed out.
As if from another room or even another galaxy I heard strange, deep voices. They usually called for doctors and surgery rooms and stuff like that. I couldn’t hold it anymore. If it had to happen, let it happen. I closed my eyes and fell into the darkness.
And then, as if it were only a minute later, my eyes started to open. I found myself in a strange room. Was it Heaven? Hell? Something entirely different? No. Doctors wearing green masks didn’t welcome people into the afterlife.
There was a cry. Someone was crying. And I knew who it was. I didn’t have to see who it was to know. I simply knew. Call it a mother’s intuition or just a sixth sense, I realized that it was my baby crying.
“Congratulations, madam. You have a baby girl,” a female voice told me as its owner placed a little bundle of joy in my hands. It was all pink and cute and fuzzy.
Instantly tears started to roll down my cheeks. I wept. Like a three-year-old asking for his mommy or a teenage girl who had gotten an F in Science. I wept and it felt like the normal thing to do.
The baby blinked, looking at me.
“Welcome to the world, Mia,” I said through tears. I couldn’t even recognize my own voice. When had I become like this?
My girl only blinked. She had my eyes. I laughed from ear to ear. She was the best thing that had happened and would happen to me. I was sure of it.
8
Sean
“It’s been eight years, bro. Feels just like it was yesterday when all of this began,” my teammate told me, shaking my hand.
“Yeah, I still can�
�t believe it… But it doesn’t matter! We won!” I shouted and he laughed. Roy was a kind guy that had been nice to me since the first day in the NFL. We had remained bros since then.
“We won!” he shouted as the whole locker room echoed with the cries of the guys who were as ecstatic as this after every single game. They liked to win. And so did I. However, I wasn’t as hyped. I guessed that everything had come with the years. Eight years ago I had thought that I had touched the sky when I had earned my ticket to the league. Now everything seemed like a dream. Damn, what time did to a person!
My phone was ringing. There was no Kayla Vaughn to call me to congratulate me. And I couldn’t expect that from the model I had slept with yesterday. She had been such a lioness in bed though, I could still feel bruises all over my body. What a girl! A sex bomb. In every meaning of the term. I chuckled.
It turned out that it was a reporter who wanted an interview with the captain aka me. It sounded great. Magnificent even. Sean Coleman—the team’s captain. My ego was rising with each moment.
“Yeah, sure, pal. I’ll stop by. Thanks,” I said and hung up. Always be nice to the journalists. That was rule number one in this business.
After we drank a little bit, all of the team except me boarded a plane home. I had promised an interview and I might as well keep my promise. The adrenaline was still pumping through my veins, I entered the studio where a good friend of mine was waiting for me. We shook hands and the interview began.
The first two or three questions were interesting, but then all of it started to bore me. Come on, idiot, shorten it up, I shouted to myself. What a dick! I just wanted a nice round booty to place my hand on and a warm bed. After that the list would go on and on, but thinking of that would make me hard so I stopped. Instead I got these crappy questions. Splendid! I smiled for the camera. Just like I had for the past eight years. Smile and look pretty.
Finally, it ended after a couple of hours and I was out of the building. All I needed was a relaxing round of sex with a girl I had picked up at a bar.
An hour later all rushed and sweaty I entered the terminal. It was time to go home apparently. I leafed through a newspaper and got a coffee from the nearby shop. My head was aching badly.
It was fascinating how the airports were always so full of people. And for me that meant fans and security problems. Luckily, I had remembered to bring a cap with me, which I put on now. I also put on some black shades I found in my bag. I was totally unrecognizable. I sighed in relief. Phew!
The newspapers had nothing new to say. Ironically. The same stories, the same people making headlines… The infinite circle that went on and on. I realized that I had become a part of that circle and shuddered. Why was I having such deep thoughts now? Sleepy. That was all.
My flight was in about an hour, so I had some time on my hands. And at that same moment the inbound flights had landed and the terminal was flooded with passengers. They were hugging relatives and friends, sharing love, while others just exited the airport and boarded a taxi. The airports were actual representations of life and all it brought.
From the door came a beautiful, dark-haired young woman. She was dressed elegantly in a cream suit. I would recognize that face anywhere. Model-like with wonderful eyes, a small nose and full lips.
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
Was that Kayla Vaughn? No, it couldn’t be. No chance. What would she be doing here? But, oh my, she was so hot and sexy. I didn’t remember her like this. Had she changed? Did I? It didn’t matter.
There was one other thing that was incredibly important. Vital, even. Kayla. My Kayla was holding a little girl by her hand. She had long hair like Kayla’s and was unimaginably cute. She could be four? Five? No. She was much older than that. When did I lose my grip on reality? This short, sweet girl was surely going to school. So, perhaps seven or… Eight? Eight years! The number loomed before my eyes. Eight.
I ran a hand across my hair. “Oh my God,” I said out loud. “This is not happening to me. Oh my freaking God! This can’t be real! What’s wrong with me?” I was panicking. It had been exactly eight years since Kayla and I had broken up. And had our last sex.
I put my hands over my eyes and all I was staring at now was blackness. My ears still caught every sound from the busy terminal. But I shut myself off. Nothing existed for me anymore.
Could this girl be my daughter? One voice said.
No. The other replied. She would have told you, you idiot.
What if she kept it a secret? The first voice argued in my head.
Kayla’s not like that at all. She would have called you immediately. The second voice gained dominance in my voice.
Would she? The first one asked.
Okay. It was official. This was making me crazy. No, scratch that. Absolutely, utterly mental!
“Wake up, Sean. Wake up now. You’ll see the hot model next to her and you’ll kiss her and screw her some more and everything will be fine,” I whispered like a madman, but that was all I could do.
Then I raised my eyes only to see Kayla and the girl leaving. Without thinking, I stood up and sprinted in their direction. My muscles were hurting me, but I didn’t care. I was breathless when I went out in the coldish air. Kayla was climbing into a taxi.
“Wait!” I shouted, but she didn’t hear me, because the taxi had already driven off into an unknown direction. I considered running at first, but realized that I would fall in a minute to the asphalt.
I pressed my head between my hands, my mind was spinning. What was left for me to do? I had to find out everything. I had to speak with Kayla. No more running. No more hiding my head from the truth. All cards on the table.
Panicking, I fished my cell from my pocket and called my coach. After the second ring he picked up.
“Yea, Sean. What’s up?”
“Coach,” I said, trying to catch my breath. It was too much running for the day. “I want to take several days off. Something very urgent has come up. Is that okay?”
“Sure, yeah. No worries. Do you need me or anything? We can resolve everything you know,” my coach said. He was a pleasant man. Pleasant and nice when business and money were in the game.
“Thanks, coach. I can take care of this alone. Thanks again. See ya,” I hung up without much conversation. I was never much for small talk and explanations.
While I was talking to my coach, it dawned on me that I had to go back and finally set everything straight with Kayla. I wasn’t one hundred percent before, however now I was.
I caught the nearest taxi and told the cabbie the hotel’s address. “And if you get me there as quickly as possible, I’ll make it worth your while.” That was more than enough for him to speed up. The scenery changed from rural to urban as my heart danced in my chest. I thought for a second that it was going to climb into my throat.
Finally, I got to my hotel room safe and sound and feeling like a total wreck. I felt that every ounce of energy had abandoned me, but when I recalled the scene from the airport I knew that I had to do something. Now.
I picked up the phone and typed in Kayla’s number. I was surprised that I still knew it by heart.
One ring.
My hands were shaking and getting wet. I rubbed my free hand against the side of my pants.
Second ring.
My stomach was tied in a knot.
Third ring.
Come on, babe. Pick up! Pick up, damn it!
And she did. “Hello,” she said. I froze on the spot. It was the same voice. The same freaking tone. I could clearly envision her expression as she said it. Her finger playing with a lock of hair.
“Hello. Who is it?” she spoke again.
I was paralyzed. Done.
9
Kayla
I had never really been a huge fan of airplanes. Jetlag. That’s why.
But luckily we arrived home and everything was going to be okay. Mia loved it. It had been one of her first airplane journeys.
“Did you lik
e it at your grandparents’?” I asked her, helping her with her coat.
“Yes. They’re very nice. Too bad they don’t live close to us,” she said in a soft voice. Mia was my jewel and had such a sweet soul. She was like a real life doll—cute, sweet, pretty, even adorable. She had my hair. Thank God! Her hazel eyes were incredibly curious. She was constantly watching out for something, scanning every corner and every person she could see. Such a clever girl.
A light headache slowly crept its way to the front of my brain. And the phone was ringing. Seriously? Couldn’t people have a little mercy for me?
I picked up without even seeing who it was. My hand involuntarily picked a lock of hair that I toyed with. It was one of my habits while talking on the phone. “Hello?” I spoke, but there was no reply. The only thing I could hear was breathing. And it was getting quicker.
“Hello. Who is it?” I asked more nervously. Answer, whoever you are, God damn it!
Nothing, again. That drove me up the wall. What the heck? How long was the world going to suffer from perverts like this? What a creep! I was ready to end the conversation, when I heard a voice. A very familiar one.
“Kayla, hi. It’s me,” a man said in a deep bass. Shivers trickled down my spine and all of my hairs stood on end.
“Sean? Is that you?” I asked, still not believing. It had been eight years. It was so long ago, yet it seemed as if it were yesterday.
“You’re right, babe. How are you?” I could sense a smile on his face.
“D-Don’t call me that,” I spoke softly so that Mia wouldn’t hear me.
Silence.
“Sorry,” he replied, obviously saddened.
“I’m great, by the way. Surviving. How’s your life? It’s been so long since I last heard from you.” The nervousness and the tension were almost tangible.
“Okay. I know. I’m sorry. I guess it’s been going well.”
Line of Scrimmage: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (Pass To Win Book 2) Page 5
