by Laura Mae
“What were you thinking about?” Raoul asked.
“Home.”
Raoul responded with a sympathetic look. He knew how she felt. But it wasn’t like it would change anything.
“So, I’ve been thinking…” he started. “When are we going back?”
Sydona unbuckled herself. “I’m not talking about this again, Raoul.” [SD38]She grabbed her green tote and slammed the car door shut.
“But my family…”
“They’re my family, too. But we can’t go back... Not yet.”
“Okay. Not yet. So when?” Raoul pried, hovering close to Sydona like a gnat.
“I’m just not ready. I don’t even know when I will be…” [SD39]She walked faster and ran up the stairs to join the others.
The cabin reminded her of Willow’s, but it was slightly larger. [SD40]Willow said it had been empty for years and didn’t think anyone knew it was there. There were never any sale signs or people stopping by to lease it. Just four walls and a toilet. [SD41]She walked through the door and into a living room with one dusty couch and a couple chairs. A large burgundy rug laid in the middle, and the walls were barren except for two windows letting the light flicker in. Sydona nailed a bed sheet covered in cartoon characters over the windows for privacy and security. Although hideous, it helped her feel better.
After everyone put their belongings away, they snatched food from the pantry and put a meal together. They had all been out training since five in the morning. No one was more vocal about being hungry than Raoul.
“I’m glad you’re a Sparrow and all, but could you bring those little cheese balls next time?” he complained as he ate an entire loaf of bread. Fairies were opposed to most foods other than fruit, but of course, Raoul had to be dramatic about it.
“I agree, lil’ man. I thank some of the members should have jerky in their pockets as a spare, just in case. One time, it took them hours to finish. I thought I was gonna see my pops up in heaven,” Willow said.
Sydona rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s what we need to focus on next time. Sure.”
Raoul’s mood shifted in the last few months. His normal wit and sarcasm had been replaced with bitterness and short replies. Anytime the doctor’s name was spoken, he made an audible sigh. Sydona thought traveling with Giovonna was enough to deal with, but he acted more like a teenage girl. She wondered if it would ever end.
“Oh, don’t forget ‘bout the nation-wide meeting in a couple days. You’ll need to be there, princess,” Willow said as she took a huge bite of sandwich with deer meat[SD42].
“What about us?” Silas asked.
“Yeah, are we allowed to go if we aren’t members?” Giovonna added.
Willow looked uncertain. “Ta be honest, I have no clue. I can make a call to see. I don’t know if Knox will be alright with y’all.”
“Who’s Knox?” Giovonna asked as she took a seat at the table.
“Just the most important fella to know. He’s the big guy on campus. The head honcho. The leader.”
“What’s the meeting for again?” Sydona asked.
“Not sure. He called it after Eagle Lake. Prolly just a plan on exterminatin’ the rest of the hideouts.”
“Have you met him before?” Sydona asked.
“No, only heard o’ him in passin’. Knox is a great man but not one to cross. Been the leader for a while now.”
“Can’t wait,” Sydona said. She wanted to sound interested, but she received a skewed look from Willow. She didn’t bother to correct herself.
Sydona changed the subject. “Who’s making a fruit run tomorrow? Any more bread in Raoul’s stomach and I think he’ll explode.”
No one volunteered.
“I’m fine, Syd. You’re not my mother. I can take care of myself,” Raoul retorted.
Silas snatched the keys sitting on the countertop. “I’ll go.”
Sydona smirked.
“Bananas and mango, right?” asked Silas.
“Right!” Raoul answered. “And kiwi. I miss kiwi. And strawberries, papaya, grapes, oh and oranges! Or, whatever you can find. Thanks…”
Silas nodded his head and caught Sydona’s eye. She couldn’t help but smile at his generosity. After everyone finished eating, Sydona and Silas were left alone in the kitchen.
Silas cleared his throat. “About earlier…”
Sydona didn’t need him to finish to know what he was referencing. The thought of bringing up the painful subject made her want to shut down. The chair legs reverberated on the tile floor as she sat down and waited for him to finish.
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable about the date thing. I mean, where would we even go, right?” He chuckled and joined her at the table. His hands stayed on top of the table, close to hers.
Sydona knew he meant well, and the look he gave her made it hard to be upset. She noticed his hands fidgeting and all the dirt under his nails. His grungy hands and nails never appealed to her at first, but now it was somewhat familiar and comforting. Those hands taught her sign language that helped find her best friend. Who was she to judge the cleanliness if it meant warmth in her heart? Her feelings for Silas began to feel the same way she felt when she was at home with the fairies.
“No, it wasn’t that, actually. I just can’t stop thinking of the day I couldn’t fly... You said you can’t stop biology, but here we are--stopped.”
She stared at a knot in the floorboard until she felt her hands being squeezed by the man across the table. Silas curled up a sideways grin and winked.
“I have an idea. Raoul!”
Raoul flew into the room at attention. “Yeah?”
“Come with us.”
Silas stood up with Sydona’s hand in his and ran outside. Curiosity and nervousness nuzzled together in the depths of her stomach. Deep into the woods, he scanned the area for a clearing to run.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked.
“You’ll see!” he said in a witty, high-pitched voice[SD43][LM44][SD45].
Once they found an open area, Silas nodded at Raoul who then covered Sydona with fairy dust. Silas gripped her hand tighter and took off running. Sydona ran alongside him, feeling light as the breeze and carefree. Treetops swayed from side to side below her; it was a sight she was unsure she’d ever see again. Her senses tingled and goosebumps rose on her skin. Fairy dust had that effect, but it wasn’t the dust this time. As the two sped up, her hand climbed up Silas’s arm and squeezed. Adrenaline soared through her body like a falcon. The amount of happiness she felt in that moment made everything bad disappear. Soon, though, her excitement drained. She was a stone and no longer wanted their help.
“Hey,” she yelled at Silas. “Can we get down now?”
Silas’s bright smiling face dwindled at her hardened expression. “We just got started.”
“Please.” Sydona blinked away tears forming in the corners of her eyes. They rolled behind her ears and into her blonde hair, whipping into the cold air.
“What happened?” he asked as he turned them back around.
Sydona stayed quiet. She just wanted to land and bolt.
An awkward silence fell over the pair as they headed back down. Sydona’s hand slipped back down to his, but she barely held on. Once she was able to judge the height from the ground, she let go and landed on the dirt with a thud. Raoul’s orange dust made the landing softer, and Sydona walked away before they could catch up to her. She needed to fly on her own again if it was the last thing she did.
Chapter Two
As the day settled and the crickets came out, Sydona wandered to the room she shared with Silas. While they both agreed to share, she was less enthusiastic. It was better than sleeping in Giovonna’s room, though. Silas wouldn’t talk to her at all hours of the night.
Stacks of books and piles of clothes were strewn about the room. Sydona didn’t mind the mess. She had more important things to focus on.
Sydona shuffled through the books she brought from Willow’s
house and the Lake. She paused and pulled out a book with a deep blue cover. It looked familiar, but she couldn’t place where she knew it from. Then it came to her. As she flipped through the pages, Maverick’s face popped into her mind. During the short time she spent with him, he had it glued to his face and mouthed every word. A scrap of paper fell out, and her heart sank down into her stomach. It fluttered onto the shag carpet, and as she bent down to pick it up, she read the words she wrote down before the revolution.
Borba i amore bez strah -- “Fight and love without fear.”[SD46][LM47][SD48]
A flash of her late mother’s face flooded her memories. Those were the last words she ever heard her speak. Words that changed the fate of their species.
A knock on her door made Sydona shove the paper back into the book for safekeeping.
Giovonna poked her head through the crack in the door. “Syd?”
“Yeah, come in,” she answered and threw the book under her bed.
“Where did you go with Silas just now?”
“Nowhere. Just messing around.”
Giovonna scrunched her face. “Oh... out in the woods?”
Sydona raised an eyebrow. “What? Oh, no. Not... no, he was just trying to make me feel better.”
“Okay?” Giovonna said slowly.
“How are the bracelets coming along?” Sydona asked and flopped down on the squeaky bed.
Giovonna joined her. “Um, not good actually. It’s hard to know how to fix it when I can’t activate them.”
“Why would you need to activate it?”
“Well, um, think of it like a car. When it’s on and running, you can see all the moving parts and what it all does. Without seeing how it works to begin with, I don’t really know where to start.”
Sydona furrowed her brow. “You’re just now letting me know this? Haven’t you been ‘working on it’ for a couple months now?”
“Yeah, but I’ve been helping you train for the Sparrows most of the time. By the time we got home, I’d be exhausted,” Giovonna argued.
“But why didn’t you mention this to me three months ago? I’ve been waiting on that bracelet to make me fly again,” Sydona said with a twinge of sadness in her voice.
“I know. I’m sorry Syd... I hate to say this, but I honestly don’t think it will help. The bracelets were specifically designed to stop flying. It’s not a switch you can just turn on and off.”
Sydona hung her head low, not wanting to accept the truth. Technology was not her strong suit, and she trusted Giovonna. But reality stung like a thousand yellow jackets.
“Thank you, Gia, for trying. I know it’s not your fault... “
Giovonna gave her friend a hug. “I’ll keep trying though.” She closed the door gently behind her.
Sydona lay back on the bed, and a single tear slipped out. As she soaked in the events of the day in silence, she let out a sigh and closed her eyes. Just then, her door opened again, and Silas made a gross hacking sound that made her scrunch her face[SD49]. She grabbed a pillow, placed it on top of her face and stuck her arms down at her side. There was never a moment of peace anymore.
The bed sunk down on her left side, and she knew Silas lay down next to her.
“You doin’ okay?” he asked softly.
Sydona growled in response, the pillow muting most of it.
“That bad, huh?”
She pushed the sides of the pillow down around her ears.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
Silas stayed quiet, but she felt him shifting around in the covers.
“Willow left, by the way. She said to say she was proud of you.”
Sydona sighed. She didn’t know why those words made her calm, but she liked hearing them. Soon the room went dark, and Silas stopped moving. She removed the pillow and turned her head to the side to stare at the back of his head. Living with three and half other people took its toll on her. The fairy tree didn’t count as it was more of a guest house, and they had their own living arrangements. Raoul didn’t make the transition any easier. She hoped it would just be the two of them[SD50][LM51] again like the old days.
After a brief and troubling night, she woke the next morning to an empty bed. Her hand circled the sheets, searching for the missing warm body. A whiff of eggs and pancakes found its way into the room[SD52]. She sat up and heard singing and laughing from the kitchen. A smile crept up on her, and she made her way into the fun.
“...Come on, Raoul. I wanna hear a song from our culture!” Giovonna exclaimed while flinging a spatula around.
Raoul flew around her, laughing. “I don’t sing like every other fairy in my family. I will make your ears bleed!”
Sydona spoke up. “I know one.”
They turned their heads and stared at the third person suddenly standing in the room.
“My mother used to sing it to me when I was sick,” Sydona said.
She took a deep breath and shut her blue eyes. A vision of her young mother sitting on the edge of her bed floated into memory. Evelyn’s humming slowly brought the words into melody, and Sydona sang the familiar lullaby.
“Rest your head and close your eyes,
Your spirit soars to the skies.
Let my warmth, my song, and soothing voice,
Heal your aches, return your joys.
Dream of happy days and bliss
I’ll melt your pain with my loving kiss.
Raoul caught Sydona’s glance and gave her a kind smile.
“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” Giovonna said with a cracking, sentimental voice.
Sydona blinked a tear. She then looked around the house, which was growing brighter with the morning sun, and realized Silas wasn’t there.
“Where’s Silas?”
“He went out for food,” Raoul said and sat on her shoulder. It had been weeks since he sat on her shoulder, and her face relaxed with satisfaction.
“This early?” Sydona asked.
“Seems like someone is eager to please.” Giovonna winked.
Sydona laughed and blushed. “Didn’t think he was such an early bird.”
“He seems happier lately,” Raoul said.
“Does he?”
“Oh yeah,” said Giovonna.
“When he’s not being shot down for doing something nice,” Raoul retorted.
Sydona was taken aback by his words, but she understood what he meant. They were doing well, and she didn’t want to argue about her feelings.
“Sorry about that. I know it was well intentioned,” she said softly.
Raoul flew off her shoulder. “You didn’t have to run off, though.”
Sydona clenched her jaw. Luckily, Silas walked through the door only seconds later. He carried several bags of food; three of them were filled with fruit. As he set them down on the kitchen table, she noticed something different about him. His face was free of stubble and looked ten years younger. It amazed her how a simple thing like removing hair made someone more attractive. Sydona had only seen him one other time with baby soft skin. The way the light shone in between the sheets on the window made his skin glow and his black hair glisten. He wore a t-shirt slightly too small, and his large biceps made her swoon as he carried in a television set.
“Wait, is that a T.V.?” Sydona asked, snapping out of a trance.
“Yep,” Silas grunted as he set it on the floor in the living room. “Got a super good deal on it. And some other stuff I got in the car.”
As if time escaped her, she looked around and saw Giovonna carrying things inside while she stood there in the middle of the room.
“Do you think you could help, or would you rather stand there and stare at me? I’d honestly be alright with the second option,” Silas teased.[SD53][LM54]
Sydona covered her face with her hands, hiding a smile. She punched his arm on her way out to help the others.
Along with the television, he had a lamp without a shade[SD55], a couple of small rugs, a sc
ale, a crudely painted picture of an orange cat, a broom with several missing bristles, clothes of varying sizes and a couple of VHS tapes with no sleeves. They dumped everything onto the couch.
“Silas!” Giovonna rummaged around. “Did you get a VCR for these tapes?”
“Oh. I guess not,” said Silas with a shrug.
“How are we supposed to watch these then?” Giovonna whined.
“Can’t. But it did come with an antenna!” Silas said, pulling out a metal contraption.
Silas dusted off the television and hooked up the signal while Sydona looked through the clothes. “Looks like you stopped by Willow’s house or something. Where did you get all this crap?”
“I stopped by a yard sale on the way back from the farmers market. Thought we could start making this place look more like a home.”
Sydona grinned and began to fold the clothes, even though some were big enough for Willow to wear as a dress. The mentioning of the farmers market made Sydona wonder about Jim, Annie and her son Joseph. It felt like years since she saw them. [SD56]
“You stopped by a fruit stand at the market in Redford, right? Did you see a woman with a little boy by chance?” Sydona asked.
Silas poked his head out from behind the television with a puzzled look. “Yeah. I think I did. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. How did they look? Okay?”
“Like people running a food stand. So a little farmy I suppose?”
“Thanks, Silas. That’s super helpful,” she said with a slight chuckle.
Silas finished setting up the T.V. but was only able to receive five channels. The group helped to clean up and put the new items away. The lamp stayed in the living room as they only had one light source from the kitchen. Sydona placed the painting in Giovonna’s room so she wouldn’t have to look at it every day. Since Giovonna would be in the living room watching television most of the time, she didn’t mind it.
The rest of the afternoon was quiet and pleasant. Sydona kept busy by reading books on the back patio and identifying bird songs from the surrounding forest. Silas went hunting with Giovonna’s bow to catch something not fruit or plant based, and Giovonna stayed inside to clean.
