by Monica May
He holds me tighter, and with a shaky voice, asks, “Are you sure?” He will always feel bad for what he has done to me, and he should, but I have to move on.
I turn to face him, and I see the remorse in his eyes. “I want to forget it and move on. Can you promise me you will never do anything like this again? Because I promise you, if you do, I will kill you!”
He chuckles. “I promise.” With that, I feel such a sense of relief. Grant leans over to me, taking possession of my mouth as he moves his entire body over mine. We kiss each other so deep, with so much love. It reminds me of the first night Grant told me he loved me. We were making love to Air Supply on the radio; he looked me in the eyes as if he was looking into my soul and said, “I love you so much; I never want to be without you.” We were engaged six months after meeting and married within a year. How time has flown by.
We spend the night making love like we did when we first met. We do things I never realized we had stopped doing—looking into each other’s eyes as he moves in and out of me. It feels raw and real; our souls are wide open to each other. Grant keeps asking me if I am doing okay. I love that he is checking in with me, checking in on my mental health. I have become such a nutcase lately, and I am ready to move past that.
I wake the next morning feeling fantastic, feeling like our marriage has started over. When Grant senses I’m awake, he pulls me into his chest with his hand over my heart again. “I’m fine. You don’t have to keep doing that.”
I sense disappointment in his voice. “You don’t like it when I hold you like this?”
“I love it when you do that, but I am getting better; you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.
“I love to hold you like this. I can feel your heartbeat. Your heartbeat is the truth to your soul, Shelby. I love holding it in my hand; it reminds me of how delicate you are under that tough-girl shell.
Chapter 8
Our sex life has taken off. We are now making love almost every night. Yes, that is what I said, almost every night! That’s something I don’t think we did on our honeymoon. The best part is we’re doing it because we want to and not because we feel obligated. In the past, I thought, Oh, hurry up, and get on with it; I am tired. Now, we are up late making love because we both want to.
***
It’s a boring Monday at work. Most of my co-workers are at a training secession I have already completed. I’m stuck manning the phones while everyone is out. However, all of our customers are at the same training, so it is dead around here. No emails and no phone calls. I’m bored out of my mind. I fire up my Kindle to read one of my smut books instead of sitting here doing nothing.
As I finish one particularly hot chapter, I look down at the lake from my window on the eleventh floor. It’s a beautiful day outside this November morning. e had a hot summer, as usual, but it lasted longer than normal. The average temperatures were in the high eighties to the low nineties all the way through October. Today, it is finally cooling off; it’s sixty-nine degrees with a nice breeze. The sun is beautifully dancing off the water of Lake Pontchartrain below. The sky is a bright blue with large white clouds.
On a day like today, I would love to work outside. I bet Grant loves today on the river. Not that he really wants to be at work or hanging over the Mississippi river in a harness, but I’m sure he is appreciating the cool weather. I know one thing Grant would really love is a sexy text from me. He would never expect it! We have been going strong but have yet to do anything different.
After the chapter I just finished, I have to admit, I am quite aroused and in need of a release. I am going to do something I would have never dreamed of doing prior to the “cyber incident,” or prior to reading my newfound smut books. I hit the button on the phone to send all my calls to voicemail, and I head to the restroom with my iPhone.
I walk into the restroom and as I expected, it’s empty. I go into the last stall, pull my tight hip-hugging pencil skirt up to my waist, and push my panties down to my knees. I am so turned on at the thought of what I’m about to do that I almost come without touching myself. I place my middle fingers gently between my lips, and they glide up and down easily in the wetness that has been waiting. Oh God, it feels so good, yet a voice in the back of my head asks me, “What in the hell are you doing?” I try my best to push that voice aside and proceed. With my left hand, I hit the camera app and lower the camera between my legs, taking a few snapshots of me masturbating.
While walking to the bathroom, I thought that I would just take a few snapshots to make it look as if I was doing myself, but I can’t stop, not even to send the text. I continue to rub up and down my slick slit. I give myself more pressure with deep firm circles over my clit. If someone walks in right now, I am sure they will hear my labored breathing. But I hope they don’t, because the only thing I can hear is my heart beating in my ears. My fingers start to move faster and deeper, that oh-so-familiar feeling is building, and I come with a tingle from head to toes. I got such a rush from doing this in the bathroom stall, yet I still can’t believe I just did it. I try to regulate my breathing as I clean myself up then straighten my clothes. Once I am all put back together, I hear a voice again. But this is a voice I’ve never heard before. I have heard women talk about their inner sex goddess, but I have never had that voice. I’ve only heard the one telling me what not to do—the one that tells me what’s inappropriate. But I hear a different voice now, and she asks me, “Why haven’t you ever done this before? Please plan on doing it again; it was amazing.”
I pull my text messages up and hit Grant’s name.
Shelby 2:50 p.m.
Thinking of you
r u busy?
Grant 2:51
Not too busy watching my guys work
mk sure they don’t set any fires
What u thinking?
Shelby 2:52
U better hold onto your phone bc
Im about to set your phone on fire
I was thinking of you
& had to run to the restroom
Want to see what I hv been up to?
I choose the best out of the six photos I snapped and send him two pictures. The first picture shows my fingers over my slit. It's very sexy; my perfectly painted red nails looks picture perfect. In the second picture there are no fingernails to be seen. They have slipped into my pussy, and you can actually see my wetness dripping down to my ass. OMG, I sure hope he has all his safety equipment on when he opens this text, or he may be swimming in the Mississippi River today.
Grant 2:55
OMG that is the sexiest thing
I have ever seen
Did u make yourself come?
Shelby 2:56
Why else would I bother?
Grant 2:56
I am going to be stuck in this
harness w/a hard on until knock
off time w/that in mind
Shelby 2:57
Keep it that way
Meet me in the bathroom when u get home
we can get a few min in b4 the kids game!
U in?
Grant 2:59
Am I in? what kind of ques is that?
As long as I don’t fall off this scaffold
& drown I will be there wtg for you after my shower.
Chapter 9
“Grant”
My brain is still frozen on the images in the text I just received from Shelby. I almost dropped my phone into the freaking river when I saw them. To see those sexy red fingernails about to enter her pussy! Her fingers pressed deep inside of her with excitement dripping down the crack of her ass. I will be stuck in the harness hanging over the river all day with a hard on. That was so hot, so fucking sexy! Where in the hell did this come from?
The guilt sets in. Why didn’t I suggest this to her before I broke her down and destroyed her trust? Damn it! I have to treat her better. I have to show her how much I love her and appreciate the changes she has made. I am going to stop at the flower sh
op on the way home from work to pick her up something.
As I sit here and watch my welders weld on this beautiful day, my mind drifts to how thankful I am that she didn’t kick me out for what I’ve done to her. I know I rationalized it in my head as an extension of porn. I told myself it was not cheating on her, but it was. Even though I never touched another woman, I was cheating on Shelby’s heart. I knew she was a strong woman, but I had no idea she would be able to handle the situation as she has.
She has had many ups and downs in the last two months. I told her I would wait as long as it takes for her to be ready, and that is the truth. I would have waited a lifetime if she needed it. She’s my life; she keeps everything going, our kids, our house, our finances, and our love. She’s the key to everything that is us.
We’ve had some really intense sex in the last few weeks. It has been almost every day of the week. I didn’t want to push her to do anything out of her comfort zone. But, man, seeing this text, I have to believe her comfort zone is growing. But I will let it grow at it's own pace. I can’t push her, I won’t!
“Shelby”
When I get home from work, Isabella is upstairs getting ready for her basketball game, and Blake is playing video games. They come down to kiss me and tell me hello. They are excited to bring me to the kitchen table to show me the flowers their father brought home for me. When I walk into the kitchen, I see a beautiful bouquet of fall flowers in deep reds and oranges sitting on the table. I tell them to finish up what they were doing while I go get changed; we have to leave in twenty minutes.
I open the bathroom door just as Grant steps out of the shower with a wide smile on his face. I lock the door behind me. He drops his towel and steps toward me, “Hey, my dirty girl! Do you know how much it turned me on to get those pictures from you today?” One of his arms wraps around my waist, already pulling me close, as his other hand goes into the back of my hair bringing my face to his.
“I could only imagine how much that turned you on, but why don’t you show me instead?”
Looking down at his penis, he says, “This is what I have been sporting all day!” I look down to see him half-erect. Not limp, but not fully at attention.
Looking up into his eyes with determination, I say, “We have about eighteen minutes before we have to leave for Isabella’s game, that is not going to cure the need in my pussy right now!”
Grant’s beautiful green eyes get big; he’s shocked by my words. “Well, what are you going to do to fix that?” I pull my vanity chair over to me and sit facing him. He is standing in front of me naked. I grab him around his hips, pull him toward me, and lick his dick from the tip to the base. I am rewarded with a moan of approval. With a few long strides of my tongue, he is now at full attention. I put my hands on his ass to guide his cock in and out of my mouth, pushing him as deep as I can go then pulling him back out. The next time in, I open my lips a little wider and take more of him in. Once I have taken him in a few times with my tongue sliding back and forth on the underside of his cock, I am as deep as I can go. I remove one of my hands from his ass to massage his balls. He is so hard right now, and the throbbing in between my legs is getting more intense. He pulls out before I can protest, lifts me out of the chair, pulls my skirt up around my waist, and rips my panties off by the side seam.
Seeing I was not happy about the tearing of my panties, he promises to buy me a few new pairs as an anniversary gift. He lifts me by my ass and sits me on the bathroom counter, right on the edge. He pushes my heels up on the edge and thrusts inside of me. His roughness makes me gasp, but it feels amazing. At this angle, spread-eagle with my knees up, it's so deep. My back is against the mirror, and my palms are on the countertop while Grant pushes in and out of me with force. I start to moan as quietly as I can; we don’t want to attract the kid’s attention.
I am very close to going over the edge as Grant says, “Show me how you touched yourself today. Please, Shelby, I want to see how you fucked yourself today.” I follow his instructions and raise my hand from the counter, sliding my hand past my hips, putting my finger on my clit, and rubbing in circles, while I watch his cock go in and out of me. It’s such a turn on that my desire takes over and sends my body into the ultimate pleasure. When my orgasm winds down, Grant picks up the pace. He comes, sending me into a second orgasm. The feeling is so different from the first—it’s exposed and heated.
I look up at the clock to see we now have less than five minutes to get dressed and leave. Grant pulls me forward to meet his firm chest and kisses me. His kiss is very gentle as he looks into my eyes. “Thank you. Thank you for coming back to me, for letting me love you again. We are going to make it! I promise you, I will make an effort every day to make sure you know I love you and that you can trust me.”
We get ourselves together and make it to the gym just in time. Grant and I sit close to each other; we feel like we need to be connected to each other at all times now.
Chapter 10
As we watch Isabella play her game, I realize our anniversary is coming soon! Grant mentioned it earlier, but I had totally forgotten with everything going on. What am I going to get him? What would he want? Maybe his all-time number-one fantasy? I don’t know, he may have to settle for his number-two fantasy, but I am not even sure I can do that.
The buzzer at the end of the game brings me out of my daydream. Isabella’s team has won which means to the team and the parents we are going out for pizza. It’s always a good time with this group of parents. She has been on this team for six years, and we know them all well.
We enter the restaurant, and everyone knows the drill. The kids sit at one table and the parents at the other. The men have settled at the end of the table near the large TV screens on the wall to watch a football game. The ladies have started to order margaritas.
I have become particularly close to two of the mothers, Karen and Samantha. They corner me at the table and ask me what the heck is going on with Grant and me. I am shocked and embarrassed that they noticed. Karen looks up over her frozen drink. “Girl, spill it. We know something is up. For the last two months, you looked like you hated his guts, and now, you two can’t keep your hands off one another.”
I take a long sip of my margarita before spilling it all. As the words are coming out of my mouth, I can’t believe I am saying them out loud. Once it is all out on the table, I can see they are a little shocked. Grant and I are the all-American couple; we have it all, or so it looked that way from the outside—married young, two kids, a boy and a girl, a beautiful house, nice cars, great jobs, and after almost twenty years, we still appeared happily married. I mean, really, that is a big deal; there aren’t many in today's society that are married that long. Everyone else is on their second or third marriage.
The girls order our second round of drinks, and Samantha puts her hand on mine and gives it a squeeze.
“ Everything is going to be fine. Be glad it happened this way. At least you were able to put a stop to it.” She tells us how her first husband started chatting online, and he met up with what he thought was a woman. The joke was on him—it was a guy! She caught them in bed right as he found out his date was a gay guy! “It was too late for me, because at that point, the damage was done. It was not his love for me that stopped him from screwing her … I mean him. Whatever, the only reason he did not sleep with his date was because she had a dick.”
“So you’re saying I am lucky since I caught it before it went there? I have to admit this situation has made me re-evaluate myself, girls. I have found a voice in my head that I have never heard before. Have ya’ll ever heard people talk about their inner sex goddess?”
Karen’s eyes get big and she bounces up and down in her chair, with her hand in the air, and yells, “Oh yea, me, me! I have one of those. I won’t even tell ya'll what she makes me do. I love to hear her voice.”
We all laugh with her. I tell them about my anniversary coming up on Monday. I ask for help on what to get Grant. This i
s a big one, twenty years, and I have put zero thought into getting something for him. That’s so unlike me; by nature, I go overboard with plans, but I have been derailed by the past events and need their help. After another round of margaritas. we decide it has to be sex related. I tell them I know of a little store that is near my office, one of those kinky stores. But I wouldn't know the first thing about what to buy from there. Karen is very excited about meeting me there and helping me out.
“I think this is something I have to do on my own, Karen. I appreciate the offer, but I think I will fly solo on this one.”
She gives me a silly frown, “You can go by yourself, but tell us what Grant’s top three fantasies are, so we can suggest what to buy. I am sure they are the same as every other guy, but I just want to make sure.”
This chick must be out of her freaking mind. I’m a very private person, and the only reason I have spilled this much information is due to the amount of alcohol I have consumed and the stress of keeping it to myself. But the drinks keep coming. Every now and then, the guys turn, looking to see what’s so funny. We are getting a bit loud as we laugh hysterically at just about everything. Now on our third margarita, they ask again about Grant’s fantasies. Yep, you guessed it, it just flies right out of my mouth. I tell them with red cheeks that number one is me with another woman. I keep my eyes down, looking at my drink. I look up when Samantha loses it. She is laughing hard and slapping her hand on the table trying to regain her composure. She is almost falling out of her chair with laughter.
“Samantha, get it together. What’s your problem?” I ask as I slap her hand. “I never said I would do it! You asked a question, and I answered it.”
She finally catches her breath, “Don’t you know that’s every man’s number one? What rock have you lived under, my friend?”
