by T. L Smith
“If you don’t tell me what I should do, I’ll tell Mom what you’ve been doing late at night.”
My feet come to a halt.
The curve of my mouth twitches.
“You don’t want to hear my thoughts on those people, Hayden. Trust me. And don’t think for a second you can tell Rose any-fucking-thing. It’s not your place, so keep silent.” My eyes bulge with anger as I clench my fists, the irritation is quite clear on my face.
A girl calls out Hayden’s name. He looks over the street then back to me. “Are you going to ask me who that is?”
“No.”
“Do you care?”
“Don’t ask me questions you know the answer to. You aren’t stupid. Don’t act it.” I can feel his stare on me as I turn and walk away. Getting into my truck I notice her, the girl who called out to him. She has her arms wrapped around his waist and is trying to kiss him. Hayden isn’t letting her. He isn’t even holding her. Instead, he’s watching me closely.
“Hey, Black.” Addy kisses me on the cheek before she walks out.
Jake’s on the couch with a beer in hand watching some shit on the television. He’s swearing, his nose is scrunched, and his lip is turned up. “Can you believe this shit?”
My legs go up on his coffee table and he turns fast, pushing them off.
“Fuck, man, you know she hates that shit. She’s banned sex next time I let you put your damn feet up on her table.” He starts wiping the table frantically then sits back on the couch. I know she hates it, it’s the sole reason I do it. I like to stir him up, he does it enough to us.
“Oh, come on… you can’t kill him. He’s the fucking star.”
“What the fuck is this shit?”
“Vikings,” he says simply. He taps his braid in his hair and I laugh.
“Are you fucking joking?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “What can I say? The women love Ragnar. Addy likes to role play.”
“You’re trying to be a Viking?” I ask while shaking my head.
“I am a fucking Viking. Have you seen me?”
“Hayden’s mom is back.”
Jake’s beer pauses at his mouth, he places it down and immediately switches the television off.
“Rose is Hayden’s mom,” he corrects me.
“You know what I fucking mean.”
His head starts shaking. “No. No, I fucking don’t. You mean that piece of trash wants more money. That’s fucking it, isn’t it? I’ll kill the bitch myself.”
“Sit the fuck down, you wanna be fucking Ragnar.”
He huffs but listens.
“And if Isabelle decides to bring a boy back to the house one more fucking time, the next one will leave with a bullet in his leg.” I have to remind myself he was a big part of the kid’s life when I was away for years. They consider Jake their second father. To him, they’re his as well. He and Addy don’t have any kids, they’re second parents to ours and good ones at that. That’s the whole reason Hayden thought it would be a good idea to move in with him.
“Rose wasn’t like that. She was reserved, different than other girls.”
He coughs. “You knew her when she was whole, she broke after that. That’s how you found her, remember? Broken. So maybe she was like Isabelle, screaming for attention.”
“Isabelle won’t be fucking broken.”
He nods his head.
Addy walks in, stops, and stares at us.
“She’s just being a teenager and exploring, leave her be.” Then she’s gone again, picking up her cell from the table as she goes.
Addy and Isabelle are close. She tells Addy things she won’t tell Rose and me.
“Addy doesn’t have to know if we shoot one of them.”
Jake shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly switching the television back on.
4
Rose
“They’re currently discussing shooting the next boy she brings home,” Addy says as she sits down. We live next door to each other, it’s easy, and we’ve become like sisters. I never thought I’d be as close to someone as I am with Casey. But Addy was easy to get along with.
Little Liam steps in and walks straight into Addy’s open arms. She squeezes him tight as he lays his head on her. He doesn’t move, and I smile at the relationship they have. She chose not to adopt, she considers our kids hers as well. We’re basically one big happy family, one I never really had.
“She’s only doing it for attention,” Little Liam grumbles into Addy’s shoulder.
Addy smiles and I shake my head.
“She’s a teenager. As long as she isn’t being… silly. I guess.” I shrug my shoulders.
What can I do? Ban her from boys? Yeah, that doesn’t work. My mother tried the strict approach and that turned out terrible. So, I’m attempting a different method and hoping and praying it works.
“Dad’s going to kill the next boy he busts her kissing.” Little Liam laughs then walks back to his computer.
“Have you talked to him, yet?”
My hand stops the knife from cutting the apple I have in front of me as I look up to Addy. “What am I meant to say? Liam, are you back to being a hitman for Sax?”
I feel my mind and body deflate.
It’s not something I want to think about, let alone relive.
“I asked Jake. Jake said he spoke to Sax. And Sax laughed. That he wouldn’t allow him to do that.”
My body relaxes. I’d seen some articles which reminded me of Liam’s past. The smoothness of his kills. The people he assassinated. Same M.O. But he would only do that if Sax had asked him to do so. Not willingly. He left that life behind. He has this one with us, now.
“Thanks, Addy.” I didn’t ask her to ask Jake, but she did anyway. It’s a relief because the only other person Liam is close to is Jake.
“So, what’re the plans for Christmas? We doing it here again?” Addy asks.
I smile. Every year I throw a big Christmas party and invite around all our friends and family. We all wear green or white, and once the kids have eaten and settled, the adults drink. It’s my favorite time of the year.
“We are.”
Addy smiles at my answer. “And maybe now you won’t be as stressed either. Especially because Black isn’t doing the things you thought he was.”
I shake my head, the smile not reaching my cheeks. “Maybe. It still doesn’t explain where he’s been going. Why I could smell gunpowder on him when he returned.”
Addy stands up and walks over to me. Her hand touches my shoulder and she pulls me in for a hug. Her hands wrap around me tightly as she tries to soothe me. “He’s been good for years. Well, not good, but Black good… if you know what I mean.” She chuckles while pulling back and kisses my cheek.
“He has, hasn’t he?” As the words leave my mouth, Liam walks in. He comes straight to me, just like he does every time he enters our house, and his hands wrap around my center, pulling me back to him.
“This day needs to end… with you in bed and me on top of you,” he whispers in my ear so no one can hear. I nod to his words.
Hayden walks in with a bottle of beer in one hand and his face strained.
“Why are you drunk?” Liam asks as his hold digs harder on my hips. Hayden puts the beer to his lips and takes a long drink. He finishes the bottle and places it on the bench, then he looks past me to Liam. His expression is pained and angry. Looking at Liam, I notice his usual expression on his face, but the slight flutter of his lashes is a tell I’ve come to know. He’s angry but not showing it.
“What’s going on here?” I snap, stepping out of Liam’s grasp. He reaches for me but I don’t let him pull me back. Jake sits down next to Addy, and they say nothing while they wait for someone to answer me. Both refuse. “One of you better answer me, right now.”
“Why don’t you tell her, Dad?” Hayden’s voice is full of venom. I look back to Liam who has his arms crossed over his chest as he watches his son, Hayden.
“Nothing to
speak about. Maybe you should go and cool down?”
Hayden walks to the fridge and grabs another beer. Jake makes a move to stop him, but halts when I step up to him and take it from his hands. Hayden doesn’t say a word just leans against the fridge.
“Someone better start speaking… now.” Looking between Hayden and Liam, both don’t say a word, so I look at Jake, and he sighs heavily.
“Hayden’s mother’s back.”
“Rose is his mother,” Addy interjects.
Everyone goes silent.
“Oh…” Addy looks down awkwardly.
My heart beats hard in my chest. That woman isn’t his mother, she isn’t even a good person. The way they used to treat Hayden as if he was their slave. Someone they could beat up on when they felt angry. Starve. Neglect. They didn’t deserve him.
“Mom.”
My head starts shaking. I look back to Liam, who’s watching, assessing me for a reaction.
Liam waits before he speaks to see where I am at. “It means nothing.”
Liam’s lying.
Turning away fast and back to Hayden who’s no longer leaning on the fridge, he’s staring at me.
“You want to get to know her?” I ask because I know it’s true. His eyes are glassy as he nods his head once.
I can feel it—my heart breaking.
That bitch doesn’t deserve him.
At all.
Liam reaches for me, but I push his hand away and turn to him. “You didn’t tell me?”
“It’s stupid. She isn’t his mother, you are.” Liam looks past me to Hayden. “Isn’t she, Hayden?”
“You know you are. No one can replace you, Mom.”
I get looks when I go out with Hayden. I’m too young to have him, but that doesn’t bother me, never has and never will.
“You should if that’s what you want. We should all meet her. I would like to.”
Hayden opens his mouth, then shuts it.
“If you give her a cent of your money, I’ll kill you myself,” Jake speaks. He gets up and walks out with Addy, not saying goodbye. Leaving just the three of us in the kitchen.
“She hasn’t asked for money, Mom.”
Pulling him into my arms, I hug him. The thought that someone could come in and make him love them more than me—it hurts. The ache in my heart is real, I’m not going to lie. But I’ll also respect whatever it is he wants to do. He’s an adult now. We have to start letting him be one without us constantly being there for him. And that’s a hard pill to swallow, especially for Liam. If he had his way, Hayden would stay under his nose forever.
“As long as she doesn’t hurt you, that’s all I care about.” Letting him go, he walks out of the room. Turning to Liam, I walk up to him and hit his hands away as he tries to pull me to him. He doesn’t look shocked.
“Secrets! Don’t fucking keep them from me, Liam Black. I mean it. He’s mine as much as he’s yours.”
“No secrets,” he says to me. Liam steps closer, places his hand on my hip slowly, but not pulling me to him. He leans in, his lips touch mine as he talks into them. “My Rose… I shall love you forever, in this life and the next.”
My heart melts like putty, just as it does in his hands every single damn time.
Putty meet Black. Liam Black.
5
Black
Secrets. I promised not to keep them. And not telling her everything is killing me. But it would upset her more if she knew. It also scares me what she might do if she found out.
“You’re up early.” Isabella sits down next to me. She’s grown so much. I never thought I’d have kids let alone raise a girl.
I know nothing about girls.
Correction, I didn’t.
Until her.
I’ve learned she’s cranky when it’s that time of the month, and that chocolate is her favorite food during that time. And that I’m also classed as evil when I tell her no to going out late at night with her deadbeat friends. And by that, I mean boys in particular.
“Taking you to school, Mom’s sleeping in.
Rose was up all night preparing food for Hayden’s so-called mother to come over tonight for dinner.
“I can walk to school.”
I shake my head. “Not happening.” She slumps in her seat, her head leaning on my shoulder. Despite her cry out for attention with those god-awful boys she wants to date, she’s a good kid. Compassionate. Great with her brother. When she isn’t mad at him for talking to her friends.
“Are you wearing black to the dance?” she asks taking my coffee cup from my hand and drinking it.
“Yes.”
The father-daughter dance is this weekend. It took some convincing. Well, no, I should say Rose talked me into it. Or fucked me into it.
“Can I wear black, too? We can match.”
“Sounds good,” I say taking the mug from her hands.
She pulls her bag over her shoulder as she stands. “Wear a pink tie.”
The liquid in my mouth blurts out. Isabelle laughs as she walks to the door.
What is with these women in my life and the color pink?
“She’ll ask me if you’re working tonight, what am I meant to say?” Sax asks as we walk out of the office. He’s going to pick up Casey and their daughter over at mine. I don’t want to be there, I don’t want to meet Hayden’s biological mother tonight. That house is the furthest I want to be away from. I met her once when I got those scum to sign the papers for Hayden. Never again. That bitch doesn’t care. She’s only there for the money. And it’s me that’s going to have to put Hayden back together when she breaks him, just like she used to do when he was a kid.
“Tell her I’m with a client tonight and couldn’t leave.”
He shakes his head. “You’re really putting me in a shit position, Black, really fucking shit.”
“Goodnight.”
Sax shakes his head as he drives off. Rose was up all night preparing the food and the house for Hayden’s mother’s arrival. I couldn’t care less. Instead, I’m going to do something useful, I’m going to fucking work.
Driving to a local bar I see him through the window. He’s talking to a young man, way too young for him to be linked to. My hand twitches on the gun under my seat. The silencer already in place.
Before I step out, the young boy turns around. My heart stops. My feet start moving before I can stop and I’m running straight into the bar. My hands grab the back of the man’s neck, pulling him from his seat and throwing the fucker to the floor.
Hayden looks at me glassy-eyed with no idea what’s happening.
“Daddd,” he slurs. His eyes are bloodshot.
Looking at the man who’s now scrambling to his feet, I ask, “What did you give him?”
His head starts shaking. “Nothing.” The lie leaves his mouth and sends a stink through the room.
Hayden tries to stand, but fails and falls back into the chair he was sitting in. Pulling the man to me by the collar, I push the gun into his abdomen.
“You have two seconds to tell me what you gave my son before my finger gets trigger-happy and puts a bullet right into your belly.”
“Just something to make him happy.”
Pushing him away I don’t kill him there and then, but make no mistake I will. Just not right now while everyone’s watching. Pulling Hayden to me, he falls, hardly being able to stand. The bartender looks to us, unsure of what to do. I shake my head and carry Hayden out to the car. He falls in easily, moaning as he does.
Looking back, the man’s starting his sports car and he drives off.
I’ll kill that bastard tomorrow.
Or maybe tonight.
“Daddd… I didn’t mean to.”
I don’t answer him as we drive home. Rose is standing out the front, her cell phone to her ear when I pull up. She’s dressed in a black dress that hugs her curves nicely, but there’s a look of worry etched on her beautiful face. She runs to the car, hanging up her cell when she sees me, and g
oes straight to the passenger door. Rose’s hands touch Hayden’s face, she’s checking to see he’s okay.
Her eyes fall on me. “What happened? Tell me what’s wrong with him?”
Hayden reaches out and touches Rose’s cheek, stroking it softly. She just cups his hand and allows him to continue.
“Take him inside. I have somewhere to be.”
Rose’s perfect blue eyes go large, her hand squeezes Hayden’s hard. “Did someone do this?”
Turning the engine on, I rev it, waiting for them to get out of the way.
“No. No, you aren’t going anywhere, Liam Black. Get out of this car right now and help me get our son inside.”
My hands squeeze the steering wheel. I want to kill him. Agonizingly slowly. Painfully.
“Liam, I need you.”
Hayden’s head falls on Rose’s shoulder while he stays in the car. His eyes are heavy and he’s falling asleep. Cutting the engine at her words, I get out and walk around, pushing Rose out of the way, and grab hold of Hayden. He’s large, almost the same size as me, and he’s full of muscle.
“Fuck.”
Isabelle walks out the door.
That’s when I see her, Hayden’s biological mother, she’s watching us. She doesn’t seem concerned that her son isn’t in any sort of state of coherence.
“Is he going to be okay? Tell me he’s going to be okay?” Rose mutters walking behind me. Hayden’s biological mother doesn’t say a word. She just looks at me, and I know in that moment she isn’t here to see him. She’s here to see what she can get out of him, or should I say us.
“Leave.” My voice is harsh, and she flinches at my words as I walk in away from her. I hear Rose offering an apology.
“I’m sorry, Sandy, tonight isn’t going to work.” Then I hear the click of the door before Rose is behind me as I lay Hayden on his bed. Pulling her to me, she starts crying as we look down on him.
“I’ll get you a blanket.”
She nods her head into my shoulder as she sits down on the sofa in Hayden’s room. Many nights when he was sick she would sit on that very sofa all night to watch him. She’s done it with all the kids. But tonight’s different. Fear is evident in her eyes.
