by T. L Smith
The color fades, no sign of life.
An adrenaline rush pulses through me. I did that. The power rush that comes with a kill. It’s indescribable.
To some, it hurts their soul. Scars them. It’s not something just anyone can do easily.
I was already fucked up, so doing this, doing what I do, my soul craves it. Which is the fucked up part of being who I am.
I leave the same way I came in, out the front door and intact. The asshole doctor, on the other hand, finally had his judgment day. And the mother that contracted me to kill him, well, she can keep her money.
Because this one, this one was way more personal in more ways than one.
12
Rose
His hands are all over me, my eyes are heavy as his kisses trail hot down my stomach. He left unexpectedly, deserting me to deal with the mother from hell. Sebastian seems like a sweet kid, not really sure where he got that from. They both eventually left not long after Liam did, leaving me pacing the room wondering where Liam went and why he wouldn’t answer my phone calls. He only never answers when he’s working, and Sax said he wasn’t working.
Hot lips touch my nipple, his tongue circling it as he pushes himself on me. He’s naked and hard right between my legs. He’s stealing all my senses. I push him back, so his mouth isn’t touching mine, and he looks down at me his eyes intense and heated.
“Where have you been?” I ask, the words falling from my lips.
Liam pushes down on me, making me groan at the feel of him between my legs. He reaches between us, pulling my shorts down my legs, then comes back. This time I can feel him, all of him. He’s at my entrance, I open wider. Not meaning to, but with him, it’s an automatic reaction. The smirk that touches his lips makes me know he knows he’s just won.
How can I say no?
I can never say no.
In one swift movement, he’s in me. Stealing me and not answering my question, distracting me from where he was and what he was doing.
“Rose.” Opening my eyes, he’s above me, his hands at my hips holding me to his own rhythm. I let him. It’s what he needs, I can feel it.
Giving myself to him is something that comes naturally to me. I am his. It’s imprinted on me from the very first moment I met him. Anyone before him was just a passing phase in my life directing me to where I was meant to be.
My hands grip his back as I lift to be closer to him, my nails digging into his flesh marking him as my own because that’s what he is. Mine. He will always be mine. Even if I am going to have to pull the truth from him. I will.
My legs hold on tight, they grip around his waist as my hands drop to the sides and my orgasm hits me. Hard. He keeps going, taking the ride and making me come again as he does. His body lays heavily on mine, our breathing the same, erratic but sedated.
How can sex be this good?
With him, it’s easy, natural. He owns me.
“Where have you been?” He makes no action to move. Stays exactly where he is, on me.
“Out.”
Pushing him off me is harder than I thought. He doesn’t make an attempt to move as I scoot backward under him. Sitting up and reaching for my robe, I wrap it around my waist. He watches me, not moving from the spot he’s in.
“This is a first, I was wondering when you’d start hiding things from me.”
His beautiful green eyes, the ones I love, the ones that can make me weak at the knees do nothing but stare at me. Liam isn’t a man of words, but I like to think over the years he’s changed some.
Maybe I was fooling myself.
Maybe I have my rose-colored glasses on and was blind to it.
“Rose.”
My hand lies on the doorknob firmly. Letting it go, I turn back to him. I was ready to leave until he said my name.
“Don’t go.”
Liam Black isn’t a man that tells you his needs. Ever. He doesn’t show vulnerability. Liam Black is all man, one of the most frightening ones I’ve ever met. My love for him scares me the most. It frightens me so much I’m afraid I’ve put the blinders on myself.
“I don’t think you should sleep in here, not if you can’t tell me the truth.”
He finally moves. Sitting up, he grabs a pair of boxers to put on. When he stands and walks over to me, my heart beats hard in my chest. His fingers drag down my cheek, then he lifts it up so I have to look at him.
“The less you know the better.”
I shake my head. His finger doesn’t drop from my chin as he holds on. Then he rubs my cheek with his fingers before he finally drops it. “Do I tell you how fucking beautiful you are?” A stray tear leaves my eye, but I don’t even notice until he wipes it away and leans in to kiss where it was. “You are, so fucking beautiful. I wouldn’t trade you for the world,” he says, and my heart skips a beat. He still does that to me.
“But you hide things from me.”
He doesn’t falter as he nods his head. I guess in his way it’s to protect me, but he shouldn’t be doing that. We’re a team now, have been for a long time. We walk through this life hand in hand, it’s how we are.
“I’ll tell you when I think it’s time to tell you. Not a minute before, Rose.” My eyebrow raises but he stays where he is right in front of me.
“Now we have that within our relationship, so if I choose not to tell you something that might affect you, you’ll be fine with it?”
He nods his head. “If you thought it was best.”
I laugh in his face.
Pulling the door open, I hold it for him. “Enjoy the couch.”
“I love you, Rose.”
I slam the door behind him, then regret it the moment I do. This Christmas is not going to be what I was hoping for.
My head hurts, my heart hurts. Damn.
13
Black
If I told her and it led back to me, she could be in trouble. That’s more than I’m willing to put her through. She isn’t a risk I can take. Her life is top priority to me, always will be. The floor creaks behind me. Isabelle is there, I know it without even turning around. She’s quiet, more so than the other two.
“You aren’t sneaking out tonight.” She turns on the lights, walking toward me. She’s dressed but kicks off her shoes as she sits on one of the empty couches.
“You really made her angry. That’s a first.”
I nod, she’s never kicked me out of our bed before. Threatened maybe. But then again, I haven’t killed anyone behind her back for a long time. Especially when I said I would stop and didn’t tell her.
“Are you ready for some serious ass kissing? You’ll need it.”
Shaking my head at her, I say, “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Sebastian is too clingy, I need a break.”
“You sound like the man in the relationship.”
She giggles at my words. The bedroom door opens and Rose walks out. She’s dressed, shoes on and ready to go.
I watch, waiting for her to look my way.
She has to look my way.
She doesn’t.
Rose walks straight to the kitchen, pours herself a coffee and steps to the front door.
“Bye, Mom,” Isabelle sings, looking at me.
“Bye, sweetheart, enjoy your day with your father.” Then she walks outs and Isabelle laughs.
“Appears you’re looking after us today. This should be fun.”
I shake my head and go get dressed. When I’m done, all three of them are sitting at the counter waiting. For what? I’m not sure.
“Dad, breakfast. I’m starving.”
“Do I look like your slave? You have two hands, right?”
Isabelle rolls her eyes. “Sunday is pancake day, with chocolate chip smiley faces. Mom usually does it. Guess it’s your turn.”
“Eat cereal or toast like normal people do.”
Hayden looks up from his cell while little Liam scrunches up his nose in anger. Isabelle does nothing but smile
.
“Fine.” I proceed to cook the stupid pancakes, with stupid chocolate chip shit in them. Handing them over they all smile, then complain.
“Mom’s smile is always happy, why does yours look so sad?” Little Liam complains by pushing the pancake back to me.
“Eat the pancake or starve.”
His lip turns up and he doesn’t budge from his decision.
“Right, starve it is.”
“I’m telling Mom.”
“Do it.”
He pokes his tongue at me before he runs off back to his PlayStation.
“You know if he tells Mom you’ll probably be in more trouble. You know… for starving your kids and all,” Isabelle says, trying to contain her laughter.
“Liam, what do you want?”
He turns back to look at me. “A smiley face.”
It takes two more times until I get the fucking smiley face to his approval. Then he only eats half of it anyway. Damn kid.
The rest of the day involves feeding Liam. How the hell he eats so much I have no idea. Where does he store it? He’s almost like Jake in that way. Hayden goes to his girlfriend’s to finish Christmas shopping. Isabelle sits on her cell complaining about Sebastian non-stop. Little Liam doesn’t move from his game console.
It takes four more hours for Rose to walk back in that door. Not once has she rung or replied to my text messages. When she comes in, her hands are full of bags. Taking some of them for her, she looks at me then away.
“How was your day?”
Her words feel forced.
Placing it down, I step up behind her, my hands circling her waist and pulling her to me.
She breathes in heavily then expels a deep sigh. “It won’t work this time.” She makes no move to push me away, though.
“I love you, Rose.”
She nods her head as I kiss her neck. Her ass pushes up against my cock.
“I know you do, Liam, as I love you. No one doubts that.”
“Am I still banned from our bed?”
She nods. “Yes. Tell me where you were?”
I keep on kissing her, ignoring that question. She doesn’t need to know.
“Okay, tell me this then… will you do it again?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She releases another deep sigh. “You’ll be on the couch again. I hope you enjoyed it.”
“It’s Christmas tomorrow.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Tell me where you were, and we can make it the best Christmas ever.”
Leaning back down, I kiss her neck but she pulls away. She never pushes away from my touch. Sometimes she tries to refrain from my touch, but that’s only until we’re in private. This is different.
“I take that back, despite you lying to me. It will be the best. I will make it the best. It has to be the best. We have Sandy coming tomorrow. I’m not sure how I feel about that. But she will not see cracks in our relationship.”
Reaching for her hand, I spin her around so she has to look at me. She hasn’t looked at me in the eye since she came back. Her vivid blue eyes stare up at me, lock me to her and hold me fucking tight.
“We don’t have cracks, Rose. We don’t crack.”
She stares for a heartbeat before she finally nods her head. Then leans forward laying her head on my chest. “It’s Christmas Eve, and I didn’t even make the kids their pancakes.”
“Let’s not speak of pancakes for a long, long, time, please,” I beg of her.
She leans back looking up to me, then laughs. There’s a smile so big on her lips.
“Liam’s very picky, you know this.” She leans back on my chest. “You’re still sleeping on the couch.”
Kissing the top of her head, I try very hard to restrain from taking her right now, on this bench, in front of anyone that dares walk in the front door.
14
Rose
I’m the first one up on Christmas Day every year, always have been. Sometimes Liam gets up to help me, sometimes he doesn’t, it all depends on his work. When I walk out before the sun even hits the sky, dressed and ready to start setting up for the day, Liam’s already up, the blankets on the couch folded up and the presents wrapped.
“You’re up,” I say looking at the Christmas tree. “And you helped… the presents,” I say nodding to them.
“You’ve been stressed, I wanted to help.”
I try to smile but it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “I have to start on the food. Kids will be up soon,” I say walking away before I give in to him and not get the answers I’m wanting to hear. This time I want them–no, need them. Not giving in to him is hard, together we bounce from each other, level each other out.
He follows me in, he always does. His hands come to my face, his lips touch mine. Softly claiming me as his. It’s not something he has to do, though. I’m already his, have been since we met. This setback won’t ruin us, it’s just a hurdle we need to get over. How long will it take us? I’m not sure. His kisses and touches are extremely difficult to say no to. My willpower isn’t strong enough and he’s fully aware of this fact. The kiss is light, he isn’t demanding. He’s claiming. I let him take from me what he obviously needs. Then when I know I will give him more, I pull back, breaking our kiss.
“Rose,” he whispers reaching for me again.
“The bacon,” I state with a smile and turn away to finish cooking.
He nods and walks off. I watch as he goes, admiring everything there is about him.
The kids have eaten and opened their presents. Addy’s over helping me set up for lunch while we wait for our guest. It feels weird, having someone else come into our house on this special day. We reserve it for those close to us, so Hayden letting Sandy come means he wants to get closer to her. It hurts, but I won’t say no to him, I can’t.
Addy is dressed in all white, while I have on a vibrant green dress and the kids are all wearing red. Liam, well, he’s dressed in his usual attire—black like his namesake. That doesn’t change. Some things will never change.
“Tell me, what’s going on?” Addy asks.
I look past her to Liam. Hayden’s sitting on the couch with Jake watching little Liam playing a game. They all laugh as Jake takes the remote.
“He’s hiding something from me.”
She stops what she’s doing and looks up at me. Addy’s mouth opens then closes.
“Say it, Addy.”
“Well, Jake shook his head at an article in the paper the other day and was muttering to himself. It could mean nothing, but when I saw it, it read ‘Clean shot to the head. No evidence but investigating all leads.’”
“You think?”
She shrugs. “Maybe it’s nothing. I only know what you guys say. What Jake and his club members say. Most are terrified of Black, you know that. So I’m not sure, but you shouldn’t stress about it today, Rose. It’s Christmas.”
The doorbell rings, and Liam looks back to me knowing who it is. Hayden gets up, and I walk with him to the door as Addy finishes setting up for lunch. Hayden pulls it open to Sandy who’s standing on the other side. A bottle of wine in her hand which she passes to Hayden.
“I wasn’t sure what you wanted or needed.”
“Thanks… S-Sandy.” Hayden trips on his words, I can tell he’s unsure of what to call her.
“Merry Christmas,” I say leaning in and offering her a little side cuddle before I pull back letting her in. “I hope you’re hungry, we’ve been cooking all morning.”
Sandy nods her head with no true emotion in her eyes. She’s thin, awfully thin, so much so she appears gaunt. When my arms wrapped around her, I could feel how emaciated she is. Her eyes are sunken, and it’s obvious she hasn’t had a proper meal for days. Her clothes are clean, but she smells of lingering cigarette smoke.
“Boys, Isabelle… why don’t you all wash your hands and come to the table for lunch.”
Hayden stays by my side as we stand awkwardly in the living room. Liam
’s the first person to come out. He walks straight to me, his hand coming to my waist as he leans down and kisses the top of my head.
“I never thought you’d settle down,” Sandy speaks, looking around the house then coming back to us. Liam ignores her, smacking Hayden on the shoulder, then turns around and sits at the table.
Everyone comes out and the silence is almost awkward. We aren’t used to having a guest on this day, but nevertheless, everyone starts grabbing food. Sandy’s eyes keep looking up and finding Liam’s who ignores her the best he can. And he’s pretty good at ignoring people when he wants to.
“So what brings you back?” Jake asks Sandy while stuffing his face with a bread roll.
“Hayden, of course, and to see for myself that he survived.”
Jake gives her a skeptical look. “Why wouldn’t he survive?”
Sandy’s eyes look to Liam then back to Jake. “I know who he is, don’t think I don’t.”
“And you chose to leave your child with him?” asks Isabelle.
We all look her way, and she looks down to her food when Hayden taps her shoulder.
“He didn’t give me much choice, did he?”
Jake laughs. “You took money over your child, sweetheart. Don’t try to play coy with me.” Everyone’s silent as we listen. Hayden shifts in his seat, and I can feel he’s getting uncomfortable.
“How about dessert?” I ask. No one answers as they all wait to see how she’ll answer Jake.
“I knew who he was,” is all she answers.
“Who was he then? You gave up your child,” Hayden asks. He remembers how they were, how Sandy didn’t care for him. He’s hoping for a different outcome from her, I can tell.
She turns fast to Hayden’s voice. “I’m here for you, to make up for my mistakes.”
“That wasn’t the question,” Hayden replies.
