Feeling like a fool, he pulled back and scrubbed his face. He couldn’t lead Beatrice on. It wasn’t fair to her. He pulled back, but kept his hand resting on her arm. When she glanced up at him, he cursed himself. He should have never lead her on. That was wrong of him.
“Hey, Beatrice,” he said, dipping down to meet her gaze.
Beatrice studied him. “Yeah?”
“I hope…I hope I haven’t led you on or anything.”
A strained smile spread across her lips. “What? I—”
“It’s just that I have feelings for someone else, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to not tell you.” He dropped his hand as he gave her a soft smile.
She studied him for a moment and then sighed. “I understand.” She turned to focus on the wedding coordinator, who was waving them down. She took a step forward and then paused. “She’s lucky, even if she doesn’t know that.” Beatrice met his gaze and then glanced over to where Tiffany stood.
Jonathan followed her eyes to find that Cody had left and Tiffany was standing there, alone, just staring at them. As his gaze met hers, she dropped her eyes to study the floor.
Jonathan tried to ignore the fact that his heart picked up speed from her attention. Instead, he glanced back down at Beatrice and nodded. “Thanks.”
She smiled. “If she rejects you for good, I’m always here.” She winked as she followed the other bridesmaids, including Tiffany, to stand in front of the bride.
Jonathan followed the groomsmen and got in line. He glanced over to see that Tiffany had been paired up with him. She met his gaze and gave him an uneasy smile.
All Jonathan could do was shrug. It wasn’t ideal, but he couldn’t imagine walking down the aisle with anyone else. He needed to figure out how to fix their relationship even if the outcome wasn’t everything he wanted.
All he knew was that Tiffany was in his life for the long haul, no matter what.
He wasn’t going anywhere.
Chapter Sixteen
Tiffany kept her gaze down on her flowers as the line moved. In two seconds, she was going to have to link arms with Jonathan and walk down the aisle with him.
Her stomach was in knots.
She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She could do this.
She linked arms with him, and a shiver raced up her arm. Her heart pounded from his touch, making her feel lightheaded and dizzy.
And like an idiot. Being just friends was never going to work if she kept having a reaction to him every time they touched. Every time they talked.
This was not off to a good start.
They started down the aisle, walking in sync with each other. Even though her head was telling her to run, her heart was telling her this was where she belonged. With Jonathan.
“Tiffany, I love you.” Jonathan’s breath was warm against her ear.
She stopped walking as her brain tried to process what he’d just said. She stared up at him with her lips parted.
Jonathan wasn’t looking at her. Instead, he was focused on Rob, who stood at the end of the aisle.
What did he just say?
“Jonathan…” was all she could muster before he turned back to her and smiled.
“It’s okay. I just wanted you to know. I wanted to say those words out loud and for you to hear them.” He unhooked their arms and moved his hand until it rested on the small of her back. “But we are really holding up the line.”
Tiffany glanced behind her to see the earnest expression of Heather, who was nodding for Tiffany to keep moving.
The world around her blurred as she allowed Jonathan to lead her down the aisle. Just as they approached Rob and the pastor, Jonathan smiled down at her as he peeled off to the side to stand behind the other groomsmen.
It took some brain power, but Tiffany finally made it behind Beatrice where she belonged.
Thankfully, all she had to do was stand there while the wedding ceremony took place. Honestly, she wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on.
All her thoughts kept returning to Jonathan and his declaration. The fact that he could so openly say those words caused goosebumps to rise on her skin. It was the most glorious thing she’d ever heard, and, at the same time, it was the scariest as well.
His words caused a flurry of emotions to rush through her, causing her to shake.
When the wedding ceremony was finally over and Stacy and Rob walked back down the aisle, Tiffany hesitated before forcing herself to join up with Jonathan.
He smiled down at her as he linked his arm through hers. They walked in time with the other wedding party members. Jonathan was surprisingly quiet as they neared the exit.
“I don’t expect you to say it back,” he whispered. “In fact, I’m sure you don’t want to. But I need you to know that I’m here. I’m waiting for you.” His voice deepened. “When you’re ready.”
They walked through the atrium’s doors and out into the foyer. The desire to flee raced through Tiffany. As if he sensed her reaction, Jonathan wrapped his hand around her elbow and pulled her to the side.
“Tiffany,” he said.
All she could do was look up at him.
“I will always be your friend. I will always be here. Even if you turn me down…again, I’ll stick around. I’m not going to let you go.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I’m in it for the long haul.”
“Tiffany! Pictures!” Heather squealed as she rushed over to grab Tiffany.
Not sure what to do or say, Tiffany turned to focus on Heather, who was studying her.
“What did you do, Jonathan? You stunned our little Tiffany into silence.”
Jonathan just shrugged. “Just spoke the truth.” He winked at Heather and then turned to look at Tiffany. He smiled and made his way over to the crowd of groomsmen that were getting ready to head out for pictures as well.
“Everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Heather said as she linked arms with Tiffany and ushered her toward the doors.
Tiffany cleared her throat, finally coming out of the hazy fog she’d been in since Jonathan’s declaration. “Yeah. I, um…”
Heather stopped and turned so she was facing Tiffany. “What happened?”
Tiffany pinched her lips together. She wasn’t sure she could actually say the words. But Heather looked so earnest, so Tiffany decided to try whispering them.
“He said he loves me.”
Heather balked at her. “He what?”
“He said he loves me.”
Heather’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow. Well he took the bull by the horns. Nice job.”
Tiffany shook her head. “No. Not nice. Shocking. Scary. I have no idea what I’m going to do with that. What does he want from me?”
She followed Heather through the doors and out into the warm air. Thankfully, there was a beautiful flower garden a few feet off, and Tiffany made a beeline for it. She needed to walk.
“Wait up,” Heather said, following after her.
Once they were in the seclusion of the garden, Tiffany began to pace back and forth. “Why would he say that? Why would he do it like that?”
Heather studied her. “Maybe because he likes you? Hold that—he loves you.”
Tiffany nodded, but she felt more confused than ever. “But doesn’t he know that it will ruin our friendship? I suck at dating. He’ll never speak to me again if I ruin everything.”
“Maybe he doesn’t see it like that. I mean, not every relationship is doomed. Some actually do go the distance. Maybe that’s what he sees for you two.”
Tiffany stopped moving so she could stare down at her cousin. “That’s ridiculous. Why would he think that?”
Heather sighed, rolling her eyes in an exaggerated movement. “Because he loves you, dummy. I mean, why else would he still be here? It’s not like he knows Stacy or Rob. He’s here because of you.” She collapsed on a cement bench and leaned back on her hands. “You’re kind of naive, cousin of mine.”
Tiffany shot her a look and then resumed pacing. “What am I supposed to do now? He told me he’d wait, that he just wanted me to know how he felt.”
Heather tapped her chin as if she were trying to dissect what Tiffany had just said. Then she glanced over at Tiffany and smiled. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I love Jonathan. I think he’s the perfect guy for you.”
Tiffany groaned as she shook her head. “No. I don’t want to hear that.”
Heather shrugged. “Someone’s got to say it.”
Tiffany threw her hands up in the air as she returned to pacing.
“I guess the question to ask is do you love him back?”
Tiffany stopped moving. She glanced behind her at her cousin. It was such a direct question with so many answers.
She wanted to deny it. She wanted to tell Heather that she was crazy. There was no way she could feel that way about her best friend.
But when she parted her lips to speak, nothing came out. She swallowed as tears brimmed her lids. “I think so,” she whispered.
Heather cheered as she sprang up from the bench and rushed over to hug Tiffany. When she pulled back, she was grinning. “Then you need to tell him. Jump in with both feet. Don’t be scared of what might happen.” Heather patted Tiffany’s shoulders. “You just might find what you’ve been looking for all along. A man who will love you for you.”
Tiffany chewed her lip. Jump in. That seemed easy enough. But if that was true, why was her stomach in knots? Why was her heart pounding fear through her body?
Heather sighed. “You’ve got to let that go.”
“What?”
Heather pulled away as she pointed her finger toward Tiffany. “What your dad did. Not every guy is going to abandon you. He was a tool, as was your mom. You’ve got to start believing that you are worth loving. That you have something to offer. If not, you’ll let the greatest love you’ll ever find pass you by.” Heather crossed her arms, tapping her forearm with her finger.
Tiffany wasn’t sure she could face her past and just put it behind her. How does a child ever get over being abandoned by their parents? How?
“I know,” she whispered as she toed the grass with her shoe. “I just don’t know how to.”
Heather sighed. “I know. It’s hard. But avoiding situations where you are vulnerable isn’t the solution. What if you asked Jonathan to go slow? Would that help?”
Tiffany swallowed. “Maybe? I don’t know.”
Heather moved over and linked arms with her. “Well, take your time. It sounds like Jonathan isn’t going anywhere. He’ll give you the time you need to heal.” Heather squeezed Tiffany’s arm. “Just don’t do anything that you might regret. Take things slow and see how you feel then.”
Tiffany pushed back her tears as she nodded. The last thing she needed was to walk up to the photoshoot with mascara running down her face.
She doubted she had the strength to talk about what was going on. Anyone with half a brain would think she was crazy for not jumping into Jonathan’s arms after he proclaimed his love for her. He was the perfect guy.
She was an idiot to hold back, yet she couldn’t find the strength to share her feelings. At least, not yet.
Heather helped guide Tiffany from the gardens and over to the large trees that dotted the hotel’s landscaping. The photographer was already there, snapping pictures of the wedding party.
Thankfully, Tiffany was too distracted with smiling and shifting her pose to focus on what Jonathan had said. And he didn’t bring it up when they had to stand next to each other. Instead, he just pressed his hand to her lower back when needed and smiled down at her in a soft and encouraging way.
It made her heart swell each time. Perhaps she could do this. Allow herself, a little at a time, to break down this protective wall she’d put up around her heart and let him in. That thought made her feel lighter than she’d felt in a long time.
By the time they were done, the wedding planner announced that it was time for the reception. Tiffany nodded and kept step with Heather as they made their way into the dining hall.
“Hey, Jonathan,” Heather said.
Tiffany glanced over to see that Jonathan had made his way up to them. Her cheeks heated as she met his gaze, and his smile deepened.
“Hey, ladies,” he said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I was wondering if you guys might save a dance for me.”
Tiffany parted her lips, not sure if that was a good idea, but Heather beat her to it.
“Of course, we’d love to.”
Jonathan’s gaze made its way over to Tiffany and he nodded. “Perfect.”
They walked in silence as they headed into the room. Loud music carried from the corner speakers where a DJ was set up. People were already sitting down at the tables or milling around, hugging and talking.
Tiffany slipped over to her table and found her seat. Just as she’d thought, she was sitting next to Jonathan. A few minutes later, he joined her.
He sat down and situated his chair so that he was sitting inches from her. Tiffany was highly aware of how close his elbow was. If she wanted to, it would only take a slight twitch, and her arm would be pressed up against his.
And she’d be lying if she said that wasn’t exactly what she wanted to do.
She swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat and clasped her hands in her lap. That was the last thing she needed. To confuse herself. She needed to keep a level head if she was going to get through the rest of this wedding.
“It was a really beautiful wedding ceremony,” Jonathan said, glancing over at her.
Tiffany nodded. It really was. “Yeah. Stacy knows how to throw a party.”
Jonathan smiled as he glanced around. Thankfully, a waiter showed up with a tray of champagne flutes. Tiffany took one and sipped on it. She needed the distraction it gave her.
It was so strange to be in this situation. How she could go from feeling completely at ease and comfortable with her best friend to not knowing what to say around him and worrying what he’d think if she said the wrong thing.
How could a relationship go backwards like this?
She didn’t like this. At all.
Desperate to fix what was happening, she turned and smiled at him. “Thanks for coming here with me.”
Jonathan glanced over at her. “Really? That’s how you feel?”
Tiffany furrowed her brow as she nodded. Why would he ask that?
“Good. ‘Cause I was worried I’d ruined everything.”
Tiffany shook her head. “You didn’t ruin everything,” she whispered.
He raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure? ‘Cause I haven’t been able to get you to say more than three words to me since…” His voice trailed off as his gaze flicked down to her lips.
Tiffany’s heart pounded. “I know. Things will get better, I promise.”
Jonathan met her gaze and smiled. “I know they will. It’s just hard. I miss you.”
Tiffany blinked, but before she could say anything, the waiter appeared with their plates of food. The next twenty minutes were filled with eating, which Tiffany was grateful for.
She needed some time to figure out where she wanted to go from here. She needed to decide if she was going to push forward and accept Jonathan into her heart, or leave. But this back and forth wasn’t good for either of them. She was scared, but she needed to face that fear or she was going to lose the only person she’d ever cared about—the only person who cared about her enough to stick around.
After dinner and the couple’s first dance, Tiffany glanced over at Jonathan and nodded toward the dance floor.
“Want to?” she asked as a slow ‘90s ballad picked up.
Jonathan quirked an eyebrow. “You sure?”
Tiffany nodded. “Yep.”
Jonathan pushed out his chair and held his hand out for her. “Definitely.”
Tiffany took a deep breath and slipped her hand into his. He led her on
to the dance floor with one hand pressed lightly to the small of her back. It sent shivers up and down her skin.
She was nervous and scared, but at the same time, she’d never felt safer. Here was a guy who, no matter how much she pulled away, stayed.
He loved her despite how crazy she’d been acting these last few days. He’d proved to her that he wasn’t going to hurt her, and she needed to trust that.
Jonathan lifted one hand and wrapped the other around her waist as he pulled her in. He kept his distance, never pressing her next to him. Which made her sad.
Glancing up, she found him staring at her with a soft, yet intense, expression.
“Is this okay?” he asked as he knit his eyebrows together.
Tiffany nodded. “Yes.”
“Good.”
They danced in silence, and Tiffany wanted to break it. She wanted to be brave and speak the words that were on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to let him know how she felt.
She’d been so confused by her feelings and what they meant, but now, none of that seemed to matter. Jonathan was still here. At a wedding for someone he didn’t know.
All for her.
She sucked in her breath and looked up at him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He glanced down at her. “For what?”
“For running. For pushing you away. For not being strong enough for you.” A tear escaped her eye, and she swallowed, hoping to gather the courage she was sorely lacking.
Jonathan shook his head. “It’s okay. I understand. You’ve been hurt before, and you’re worried that I’ll hurt you too.” His hand tightened against her back as if he wanted her to feel the weight of his words. “But I could never hurt you.” He pulled her closer and bent his head down until their cheeks were next to each other. “You’re my Leia.” Then he pulled back with his nose wrinkled. “But can I be your Hans? If I’m Luke, we’d be related.”
Tiffany pinched her lips together to stifle a laugh. It was in vain though. The giggles escaped, and, for the first time in a while, the pain she was feeling escaped with the sound. “Sure.”
Friendship Blooms in Honey Grove Page 14
