“Fair enough,” I nodded. “As I mentioned before, I intend to start my own community. Of course, any thriving community must be comprised of many generations of people to continue.”
“Of course,” he nodded.
“So, I’ve chosen Eve to help me with that,” I said.
“Against her will,” he replied.
I waved a dismissive hand and shrugged. That was beside the point.
“As you know, it takes two to tango,” I replied.
“Tango? We’re dancing now?”
“Something like that,” I said, smiling mysteriously, as I turned away. I strolled over to the bed and sat down, looking up at him. He’d not taken another step in the room, choosing to linger close to the door.
“You’re going to need to spell shit out for me, Mona, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed,” he replied, flashing that crooked grin again. If I was any other woman, I might have melted, but that’s not my style.
“Come closer,” I said.
He groaned and took two steps toward me.
“Slade, I intend to make sure each person in my community is worthy of being here.”
“Okay.”
“So, I need to determine if you’re worthy.”
“I have no interest in being a part of your community, Mona.”
“That’s not really my concern,” I said.
“What kind of community do you think you’ll have if it’s filled with people who don’t want to be there?” he asked. “Seems fucking stupid, if you ask me.”
“I have ways of changing people’s minds.”
“I’m sure you do, but you won’t be changing mine.”
“Again, that’s not an issue right now. Right now, I need to see what you’re made of, so to speak.”
“Whatever,” he said, shaking his head.
I smiled again. “Come closer.”
He took another few steps, stopping as he stood over me.
“Thank you,” I said. “Now, Slade, I need you to do as I say, because I really don’t want Zane to come in here and have to kill you, okay?”
“I guess that depends on what you have in mind.”
I smiled again, nodding as I reached down and began to unbutton my blouse slowly. His eyes widened, his pupils dilating as I pushed the silk down my shoulders, revealing my black lace bra.
He cocked his head, staring down at me.
“Those are nice,” he nodded, a bit too nonchalantly. I took a deep breath, my cleavage rising towards him.
“Take off your shirt,” I said. His black t-shirt clung to him like a second skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. I wanted to get a good look at him. He shrugged, pulling his shirt over his head in one fell swoop, leaving his muscular, tattooed chest completely bare. My eyes raked over his body, taking in the cornucopia of skulls and demons etched into his skin, and trailing down to the dark line of hair disappearing into the top of his Levi’s.
“Mona,” he said, his voice slightly gruff. “I’m not fucking you.”
I laughed in his face and shook my head.
“Take off your pants, Slade,” I replied.
He hesitated, but kicked off his boots, then shrugged and popped open the buttons of his jeans in one swift movement and shoved them down over his hips and thighs and stepped out of them. He stood in front of me in a pair of black cotton boxers.
“Those, too,” I pointed.
“Fuck,” he muttered, taking them off.
Standing in front of me completely naked, I drank him in.
He was all man, that’s for sure…muscular, sinewy, completely ripped.
My eyes lingered on the monster between his legs. It was huge, even hanging there soft. I took a deep breath and reached out for him.
He took a step back.
“I’m fucking married, woman. I told you, I’m not fucking you.”
“Unless you want to get shot, you’ll do what I say.”
“Look, you don’t fucking understand, okay?”
“Enlighten me.”
“Look at me, Mona. I’m a fucking mess, okay? I’ve spent all my life whoring around, fucking anything and anyone that shook their ass in front of me and fucking them well. I’m the kind of dude nobody ever expected would settle down and get married, you know? Because, trust me, nobody loves pussy like me. And I’m sure you think that you can smile that pretty smile and my cock will stand at attention like a good little soldier and perform for you. But shit doesn’t work that way anymore.”
“Erectile dysfunction? You’re a little too young for that, aren’t you?”
“Fuck no!” He exclaimed. “My Johnson works like a fucking champ. No problems there. But it only works for one woman now. It’s like as soon as I met my wife, Diana, no other woman’s charms work. I used to just sniff a pretty girl and I’d get hard and ready to rock in an instant. But now? I only get hard when Diana’s within reach. It’s the damnedest thing.”
“I don’t believe that,” I said.
“No? So what, you’re just going to shoot me then?”
“Come here,” I ordered. What a line of bullshit, I thought. No man only gets hard for his woman and nobody else. As soon as I get my hands on that cock, it’ll do exactly what I want.
“You don’t believe me?”
“Of course not.”
“Fine, then,” he said, walking over to me and shoving his pelvis out, his limp dick dangling between us. “Give it a try, if it’ll shut you up.”
I scoffed and reach out for him, wrapping my fingers around his girth and sliding my hand up and down the velvety skin. I squeezed slightly, feeling the tissue slide beneath my fingers. Up and down, I stroked him over and over, waiting for the familiar swelling in my hand.
It didn’t happen.
He stood there, staring down at me with the smuggest look.
“Fucking told you,” he said, shaking his head.
I let go and reached down to unsnap the hook on my bra, freeing my breasts and caressing them in front of him.
“Like I said,” he said, nodding. “Those are nice, don’t get me wrong. I can appreciate a good pair of tits any day, I’m not fucking dead. But this cock just don’t rock without my woman.”
I reached for him again, pulling him towards me, rubbing the head of his cock on my nipples.
Still nothing.
Soft as a fucking wet noodle.
Slade laughed and shook his head.
“Isn’t it the damnedest thing?” he asked. “Blows me away, too.”
“You’re useless,” I said, shoving him away, and putting my blouse back on. “Get the fuck out of here!”
Anger rushed through my veins. I’d never felt so rejected in my life.
“Zane!” I called out loudly. “Take him back!”
Zane burst through the door with his gun drawn, his eyes wild.
“Wait a minute,” Slade said, throwing up a hand, standing there naked.
I looked up at him with disappointment.
“You said it yourself. You’re useless. Might as well kill you now.”
“Are you saying I’m only good in your community if I can get a fucking boner?” he growled. “What are you doing, starting a fucking whorehouse?”
“No!” I shouted back. “I just want the healthiest, most intelligent and virile people I can find.”
“Well, I might be virile, but the rest of that shit? Hell, my liver alone should rule me out. Same goes for Bullet. He’s a fucking ticking time bomb, with a bullet in his chest! Ain’t nothing healthy about that. So, how about you let us go, Mona? You can do much better than us.”
In the back of my mind, I knew he was right. But I wasn’t about to admit it to him. Besides, he was here now. I couldn’t just let him go.
I’ve gone too far.
Way too fucking far.
I looked him over, my eyes slowly raking up and down his naked body. Eventually, I’d break him. His cock would swell, and he would perform just as I required. He just needed a little
more work than most guys.
For fuck’s sake, it’s my super power.
“Go away, Zane,” I said. “Close the door. Wait outside.”
He nodded and shut the door and Slade sighed in relief.
I turned back to him, smiling slowly. “How about a drink?”
“Well, fuck yeah, I’ll take a drink.”
“Tequila?”
“Never said no to a shot of tequila in my life, Mona. Why start now? Mind if I put my clothes back on?”
“Go for it,” I shrugged, standing and walking over to the table in the corner. I grabbed two shot glasses and a bottle of Patron and sat back down on the bed. I watched him dress, his exposed skin disappearing quickly, his soft cock tucked back in his boxers.
He sat down next to me to put his boots back on and smiled sheepishly at me.
“Don’t take it personally,” he grinned, winking at me.
“Hardly,” I scoffed, handing him a full shot glass. He grabbed the bottle instead and brought it to his mouth.
“Thanks for this,” he said. “Had a bit of a hangover from last night.”
“Sure,” I sighed. I was lost in a rare moment of uncertainty. The thing is, I didn’t want to kill him. I actually liked the guy. He was ballsy and funny and fucking hot, even if he was useless. It would be fun having a guy like him around. I imagined other uses for him, but in the back of my mind, I knew he’d never agree to stay.
Why should he?
“Why are you really doing all this, Mona?” He asked. “Surely you know it’s a terrible idea. You’re going to get in a lot of trouble. You really want to go back to prison?”
“I’d kill myself before that happened.”
“Then surely you see this is a suicide mission.”
I sat quietly, my mind racing as he continued.
“I mean, trust me, I fucking get it. It sounds great. People fucking suck, you know? The world is on a collision course with destruction. Everyone and everything has gone crazy. Politics, corporate greed, the pure hatred people spew to each other on the internet. Not to mention climate change. Sure, we’re all doomed, as humans.”
“That’s my point.”
“Right,” he nodded, taking another slug from the bottle and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “But then there’s the beauty of humans, too. And nobody can ignore that. What you’re imagining isn’t sustainable, not for long, anyway. People get restless, they’ll want to leave. You can’t offer the same riches to them that civilization does. People need their fucking Nike’s and oil to run their SUVs and iPhones. You can’t make those things in a tiny village.”
“It’s not about that,” I murmured.
“Then what?”
I turned to him, feeling vulnerable for a moment. The truth is, I needed a friend. Zane was my closest confidant and I rarely opened up to him. Slade’s eyes, despite the fact that I was keeping him against his will, were open and kind and friendly as he patiently waited for my answer.
“I’m just tired of being alone,” I finally said. “I never had a real family. I came close, once, a million years ago, but even that wasn’t meant to be.”
He nodded, drinking in my words. He was a good listener.
“I was an only child. My parents were overbearing and overprotective, never letting me do anything alone or by myself. I hit thirteen and I rebelled hard. I hit the streets, and they swallowed me up. It wasn’t as hard back then, though. You could find your tribe out there, and you’d all stick together and take care of each other. I formed a small little family of other misfits and we did what we had to do to survive. I stole food a lot. Then, I started stealing other stuff to sell — bikes, cars, whatever I could get away with.”
“You were surviving,” Slade said, “nothing wrong with that.”
“It’s against the law,” I replied. Slade’s laughter boomed through the room.
“I’m not too keen on following the laws myself,” he replied, winking again.
“I figured,” I said, chuckling.
“So, what happened? How’d you get off the streets?”
I looked at him, the past flooding my brain.
“I was arrested. It wasn’t the first time. But this time, it stuck, I guess. A young female cop wanted to make an example of me and the judge agreed. They sent me to prison.”
I paused, not wanting to say too much. Not wanting to feel the pain again. The pain of my own failures, my huge losses.
I turned away from Slade’s soft gaze. It was too much. I wanted a friend, a family, but at the same time, it was so foreign to me that it was incredibly uncomfortable. Being loved meant you had to be open and vulnerable.
Fuck that.
“That sounds awful,” Slade whispered. I felt the bed squeak under his weight and turned back to see him scooting back on the bed and resting against the headboard, the bottle of tequila still in his hand. “Keep going.”
I shook my head.
“No, it’s too much right now,” I said.
“I get it,” he nodded, pouring me a shot and holding it out to me. “Maybe you need this?”
I sighed and walked over, taking it from him and drinking it down quickly. It burned, but that kind of pain felt good.
“Tell me about you, Slade,” I said. “You seem interesting.”
“Interesting?” he laughed. “Not sure I’d say that. I’m pretty simple, actually. Grew up in a shitty trailer park, not far from here in fact. Escaped my shitty parents, along with my best friend, and to be honest, I’m surprised we never met on the streets of Portland as kids. Maybe you’re a little younger than me? But I know those streets. I know what they offer, what they steal from you. Most don’t get out with their souls intact. I guess I was a luckier than you. I could have easily ended up in prison, too.”
“What kept you out?”
“Stubbornness? Because I’m more stubborn than a mule and I made sure to never get caught. I hooked up with the Gods early. Made them my family. We do good work, though. We aren’t all about the fighting and partying these days. Although, I do love a good fight, don’t get me wrong.”
“You have a lot of scars,” I remarked.
“Beauty marks,” he laughed.
I sat down on the bed next to him and we kept drinking.
“Tell me about Solid Ground. You mentioned it earlier.”
“I’m not supposed to talk about that too much, actually,” he said. “But I will tell you this. All those greedy, selfish people I mentioned earlier? The corrupt politicians, the filthy rich who just concentrate on acquiring more wealth, instead of helping out the less fortunate? Well, Solid Ground is made up of individuals who are the exact opposite of those wretched souls. We’re good people doing good things for others when they need it the most.”
“Sounds…noble,” I said.
“I guess so,” he nodded. “Best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“So you’re just a bunch of good guys dripping in leather?”
“I like the sound of that,” he laughed. “I’ll have to propose using that as our motto during our next meeting.”
I thought about Grace. Slade didn’t know I researched him. The fact that he was talking so positively about the woman who’d caused much of the pain in my life irked me immensely, but I kept my cards close. I didn’t want him to know yet.
“So tell me what happened after prison, Mona. You’re a famous artist now. Sounds like you turned your life around.”
“I did,” I said. “After prison, I figured I had to get my shit together. I didn’t have any skills though. I stripped at the Magic Garden for a while, and realized I loved being on stage. I put together a burlesque troupe and we started doing vaudeville-style cabaret shows every week at Berbati’s.”
“Spent many nights at Magic Garden’s,” he replied. “One of the best strip clubs in town.”
I nodded, “It was my home for a long time. After that, I just ventured out, trying my hand at different things. I stumbled onto duct tape
just by chance. I was standing in the middle of a hardware store, a display of duct tape spread out before me and I had an epiphany. Just like that. One spark of inspiration changed my entire life.”
“That’s pretty amazing. You’ve come a long way. You should be proud of yourself.”
I looked at him in surprise. Was I proud of myself? Maybe. But the loss always got in the way of any pride I might feel. Like it cast a shadow over everything. I opened my mouth to tell Slade about the baby I’d lost, but the words wouldn’t come. Even when I had the desire to get closer to someone, I stumbled.
“Thanks,” I uttered, finally. He reached over, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.
It was the kindest thing anyone had done to me in a long, long time.
I swallowed hard, holding back the tears.
Breaking down wasn’t an option, not in front of him.
Hell, not in front of anyone.
I pulled my hand away and walked to the window, blinking away the tears quickly.
It was too much.
He was too much.
And, I reminded myself, he was also useless to me.
“Zane!” I called out loudly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
BULLET
All alone now, Libby and I were worried sick.
We sat on the edge of the bed in silence, my foot twitching, the sound of our low voices the only thing in the room. I’m not sure why we were being so quiet, but the silence in the apartment seemed to warrant that. In spite of our despair, there was a quiet intimacy that hung heavy in the air.
“Do you think he’s okay?” Libby asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “But he’d better come back in one piece, or I’m going to have a hell of a lot of guys to answer to.”
“You’re lucky,” she said. “To have a big family like that.”
“You said you have a good family, didn’t you?”
“Sure,” she shrugged. “I mean, my parents are great. Very supportive, always encouraged me to follow my dreams. I couldn’t have asked for better parents. But I always wanted a big family.” She grew quiet for a moment. “I had a little brother, actually. Liam. He died when he was seven. I was ten.”
“Wow, that’s awful,” I replied, my heart breaking at the pain in her voice. “What happened?”
CAGED: GODS OF CHAOS (BOOK TEN) (Gods of Chaos MC 10) Page 9
