“Think about it—we aren’t playing traditional roles anymore. We aren’t playing our usual roles of trying to get a guy into a relationship. Instead, we’ve adopted the male role of playing hard to get.”
“Okay, I’m following you so far, I think.”
“So, in suddenly being in the advantageous position of having all the power and control, and the subsequent boost to your self-confidence, I think you’ve channeled some of the male sex drive as well. You’re now in the position of the dominant, and that’s probably what is making you so horny.”
“Wow,” I said as I leaned back into my seat, my eyebrows reaching for the ceiling. “Freud would be proud.”
“I’m serious, Nik,” she said with a laugh as she dug into her salad. “I think our sense of confidence is making us want to mate.”
“Oh my God,” I answered with a laugh. “Mate? Really?”
“It’s a good argument, don’t you think?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I buy it. But regardless of whether I’m channeling my inner man, it doesn’t change the fact that I want a man in my inner channel.”
Dani nearly choked on her lettuce.
“Are you okay over here, or do I need to pull out my Heimlich skills?” A deep, rich voice sounded from behind me. I turned around to see Derek standing there with one of his friends, Luke, I think his name was. Both of them were dressed sharply in jeans and collared shirts, and both of them were hot.
I downed my bite and then smiled as I hoped there wasn’t anything in my teeth.
“Hi, Derek,” I said as Dani greeted them at the same time.
“You remember Luke?” Derek asked as he faced his friend.
“Of course,” Dani answered. “How could we forget Luke?” Then she gave him an encouraging smile. I grinned at her and then kicked her foot underneath the table to let her know I was onto her and the fact that she was currently channeling Mae West.
“The question is, do you remember Dani?” I piped up as she threw me a faux cross look.
“How could anyone forget me?” she asked, arching her brows haughtily.
“I was about to ask the same,” Luke agreed with a laugh as he took a step closer to her. Hmm, maybe this one would prove to be a good candidate for Dani’s seduction assault …
“Do you mind if we sit with you?” Derek asked me. “Otherwise the wait list is twenty minutes.”
“Sucks to be you,” I said as I shook my head and took a purposeful bite of my enchilada. “Mmm, this enchilada is sooo good, and it’s so much better enjoying it with all this room on either side of me,” I finished as I stretched my arms out.
“Scoot over, asshole,” Derek said as he sat down next to me and shoved his hip against mine, forcing me over.
Dani tapped the open booth next to her and smiled up at Luke. “Are you mooches hungry too?” she asked.
“Maybe a little,” Derek answered as he took my fork from me and speared a bite of enchilada as I looked up at him open-mouthed and affronted.
“Hey!” I started and smacked him playfully.
“So, Nik here tells me she’s going to be your assistant?” Dani said as she faced Derek.
“That’s the plan,” he answered.
“Derek is super excited about teaching everyone about transgender identities,” I piped up as I faced him excitedly before turning my gaze back to Dani and Luke. “Coincidentally, he’s thinking about changing his name to Donna.”
Luke and Dani laughed as Derek faced me with a frown. “Very funny, Nik. Hahaha, I’m laughing so hard, my insides are hurting.”
“Don’t deny your true—” I started as I focused on someone standing behind Luke, and the words caught in my throat as my stomach dropped down to my toes.
***
DEREK
“What?” Dani asked Nikki as Dani turned around and her mouth dropped open. I turned in the direction in which both women were looking and noticed a man standing there. He wasn’t alone. He was standing at the front of the restaurant, talking to the hostess, and there was a leggy redhead standing next to him. She was wearing so much makeup, she looked like a clown.
I turned back to face Nikki and noticed all the color had drained out of her face. She looked like she’d just seen a ghost.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I faced Dani in confusion, hoping I could get an answer from her, because Nikki looked comatose.
Dani didn’t say anything right away, almost as if she wasn’t sure if Nikki wanted her to. I raised my eyebrows at her once it was obvious that neither one of them was going to respond.
“Um,” Dani started.
“Really?” Nikki said underneath her breath, her gaze still focused on the man standing in the entryway. She reached for her margarita and downed a few gulps as seconds later, I felt someone walk past me and then the guy was standing at our table, the redhead just beside him. And they were holding hands.
“Nik,” he said in greeting and then glanced at Dani. “Dani, good to see you.”
“Wish I could say the same,” she answered with a cheery smile before forcefully taking a bite of her salad, apparently so she wouldn’t have to say anything else.
“Hi, Brandon,” Nikki said, trying her best to appear cool and calm. But there was something about her manner that said she was anything but.
“We were standing in line, waiting for a table, and I noticed you over here so thought I’d come over and say hi,” he explained as his attention fell to me. He reached out and offered his hand. “I’m Brandon, nice to meet you.”
I took it although I eyed him narrowly, not liking the fact that he was getting such a reaction from Nikki. Obviously they knew one another, but there was also definitely something much bigger going on between the two of them. “Derek,” I answered.
“And I’m Luke,” Luke said as he extended his hand.
“I’m Gina,” the redheaded clown said with a wide smile that showed too much gum. She waved at all of us and Nikki smiled back, although I could see her mouth twitching which had to mean she was anything but comfortable.
“Hey, aren’t you a professor?” Brandon asked as he faced me.
“Yes,” I answered and met Brandon’s eyes, not wanting to appear in any way like I felt guilty to be hanging out with Nik and Dani. Not that I should have, but it was a bit of an awkward situation, all the same.
“Yeah, I think I had you for a class a couple semesters ago,” Brandon continued.
“Cool,” I said, my body language and disinterest in general begging the question as to why Brandon was still standing there when it was pretty clear he wasn’t welcome.
Brandon’s gaze traveled to Nikki and then back to me and his slight frown hinted to the fact that he wasn’t sure if we were a couple or not. Then he smiled. “Well, have a good night. Was nice to see you, Nik.”
“You too,” she answered with a cheery smile that I was more than sure she didn’t really feel.
“Bye!” Gina chirped as they walked away.
“Well, he was the last person I expected to see,” Dani started as she faced Nikki and tried to ascertain whether or not she was okay.
“Yeah,” Nikki answered as she faced me. She was pale. “Would you mind getting up, Derek? I need to run to the restroom.”
I didn’t respond other than to stand up as she smiled at me and, grabbing her purse, she started for the bathroom. I considered following her, but then I thought better of it because I wasn’t sure if she trusted me enough to open up about what had just happened or who this Brandon guy was to her. Instead, I faced Dani with an expression that begged an explanation.
She sighed. “So that was Nikki’s ex-boyfriend,” she started.
“Ah, okay,” Luke said. “I was wondering why it seemed like the cat got her tongue as soon as he walked over here.”
“How long ago did they break up?” I asked, a sinking feeling developing in the pit of my stomach. Clearly he still meant something to her, owing to her reaction. And I was more than sure it hadn�
��t helped that he was with another woman.
Dani shrugged. “Maybe a few months ago. Needless to say, it wasn’t an easy breakup for her. They were together since her freshman year.”
I nodded. “He seemed like a douche.”
“He is a douche,” she said with a laugh.
“So, what’s the story then?” I asked after I noticed Dani texting a few times on her phone.
“She said she’s fine,” Dani said with an encouraging smile. “And she’ll be out in a second.”
When Nikki walked back down the hallway, the color was back in her cheeks and her eye makeup looked intact, so I didn’t imagine she’d been in there crying, thank God. She smiled at me, ostensibly to reaffirm that she really was okay. I stood up and smiled down at her as she nodded at me and then took her seat.
“So, weren’t we talking about Derek’s questionable sexuality?” she asked as she faced Luke and Dani, who both started to laugh.
It was maybe another hour that we sat there. Luke ordered a taco plate and I finished Nikki’s enchiladas because it seemed like seeing Brandon had taken her appetite away. But it hadn’t taken her appetite for alcohol away, and at the end of the hour, she’d downed another huge margarita. When the bill came, I paid it and then helped Nikki to her feet as she swayed a bit.
“How’d you guys get here?” I asked Dani.
“We walked,” she answered.
“Okay, I’ll give you a ride back,” I said as Dani thanked me and we started toward the front of the restaurant, Nikki and I leading the way. As soon as we turned the corner, I noticed that Brandon and Gina were sitting in a booth just beside the door. I felt myself cringe at the prospect that Brandon would realize that Nikki was totally and completely drunk. She definitely wasn’t walking straight.
As we approached their table, I put my arm around her and pulled her into me and she wrapped her arms around my waist. Brandon watched it too, and his frown spoke volumes. Yep, he was definitely a douche.
TWENTY-FIVE
NIKKI
I was aware that I was drunk. But I couldn’t say I really cared because I was still trying to triage the damage that had occurred at seeing Brandon. And not only seeing Brandon but seeing him with some chick. I was still reeling on the inside.
Although there was a part of me that was disappointed at how I’d reacted, how my stomach had dropped down to my toes and I’d instantly felt sick, there was another part of me that couldn’t stop thinking about the way Derek had wrapped his arm around me so protectively. He’d acted the part of my boyfriend right in front of Brandon, and Brandon had definitely noticed it. I’d seen how his eyes watched us while we walked to the front door, and I’d felt his eyes on us once my back was facing him.
In some strange and small way, Derek had saved me. In just doing that innocuous motion of draping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him, he’d saved me. And I was incredibly grateful to him, beyond grateful, really.
As Derek pulled up to the ZTS house, I heard Dani unbuckling her seat belt and I turned to face her. “Would you guys mind if I chatted with Derek for a second?” I asked.
Dani looked a little surprised but then nodded.
“Sure, I’ll walk Dani to her room,” Luke said as he unbuckled his belt and they both stepped out of Derek’s Bronco.
I smiled at my roommate and best friend. “Thanks, I’ll be up in a sec.”
“Okay,” Dani answered as her gaze shifted to Derek.
“I’ll make sure she gets up to her room safe and sound,” he said as she nodded in response. Then she closed the door behind her, and Luke escorted her up to the stairs and into the sorority house. I took a deep breath as my head began to ache with the copious amounts of alcohol I’d consumed.
“Thanks for doing what you did tonight,” I said as I faced Derek. It was beyond weird, but as I looked at him, I almost felt like I was seeing him for the first time—taking in that handsome face with the hair that was always too long and the shadow that colored his cheeks, jaw and chin which hinted to the fact that he’d been too busy to shave. I took in those beautiful, large eyes and the square lines of his chin, his aquiline nose …
“What did I do tonight?” he asked with an innocent smile as he cranked on the heat and then held his hand in front of the vent to make sure it was working.
“You know, the part where you put your arm around me in front of Brandon,” I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious and stupid as I wondered if I were making way more out of something that was simply a quick act to help a friend in need. “I appreciate it.”
“Just doing my part to make sure you weren’t going to trip and fall on your ass,” he answered playfully.
I nodded as I replayed the events of the night in my head, especially the part when I’d first seen Brandon and … Gina. Yes, I was shocked and yes it had hurt, but somehow, and I wasn’t quite sure how, it hadn’t hurt as much as I would have thought it would. I mean, the pain was still there, but it wasn’t fully encompassing.
“You want me to walk you up now?” Derek asked as he faced me expectantly.
“No, not yet,” I answered as I ran my fingers across the fabric of the seat. I instantly remembered the tall brunette he was with in the library, the night he’d given me a ride back to the ZTS house. I also recalled how she’d insisted I sit in the backseat. It had been fairly obvious that she’d had the hots for him.
“That dark-haired girl I met,” I started as I turned toward him. “I think her name was Rebecca?”
“Yeah, what about her?” he asked with a frown, like she was the last person he wanted to talk about. Well, with me anyway.
“Was she your girlfriend?”
Derek immediately laughed and shook his head. “No, nothing like that.”
“So why did she act so territorial with you?” I demanded with a shrug, thinking my question hadn’t deserved such a response.
Derek’s gaze settled on the steering wheel as he sighed before glancing back at me. When his eyes met mine, I was again overcome by how handsome he was. How had I never noticed it before? But then I realized I’d always noticed it but I’d somehow convinced myself that I wasn’t interested in him. Maybe because I was intimidated by him? He definitely had a bold confidence that could be intimidating at times.
Yeah, and super sexy at others, I said to myself.
As I looked at him, I felt the bubbling of something inside me, deep down. Something that made my insides feel like they were stinging, as if I was yearning for something. I couldn’t believe it, but I was getting all hot and bothered just by looking at Derek, just by thinking about what his lips would feel like on mine, what his fingers would feel like on my breasts, inside me …
“Rebecca has never been shy about her feelings for me,” he answered and then sighed again, like he had no control over the way she felt about him, like he’d done nothing to encourage it.
“And you?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Some of the rumors you’ve heard about me are true.”
“Does that mean you slept with her?” I asked, surprised by my own boldness in asking.
“Maybe,” he answered. “Not that that’s any business of yours, drunk ass,” he added and then poked my shoulder with his index finger playfully, but his eyes stayed fastened on mine a little too long, actually a lot too long. In fact, we were staring at each other so obviously, an onlooker might have thought we were in the middle of a blinking contest.
“I’m not that drunk,” I insisted, my voice breathy.
“You’re so drunk, you can’t even walk straight,” he argued as he shook his head and broke eye contact with me finally. “And speaking of, I should probably get you back to your room so Dani doesn’t start to worry about what we’re doing down here.”
“What are we doing down here?” I asked immediately, wanting and needing something more from him.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
I unbuckled my seat belt, feeling a flush of bravado rus
hing through me. Apparently thinking I was ready to go, Derek unbuckled his too and reached for the handle on the door.
“Maybe we should be,” I said as I leaned over and wrapped my hand around his neck and brought my mouth to his. I felt his hands encircle my waist as his mouth opened and his tongue was suddenly in mine. He tasted and felt so good that I heard myself moan as I freed myself from my belt and swung my leg over the middle console so I could climb into his lap.
I was beyond wet at this point, and I could feel my folds swelling, that stinging sensation now full bore. Not only that, but my nipples were hard as rocks. Every part of my body was screaming at me, telling me I wanted and needed Derek inside me. And that was the only thought in my head.
Until he pulled his face away and brought both of his hands to my arms, pushing me back.
“We can’t do this,” he said as he faced me, his eyebrows meeting in the center of his forehead as he frowned. “I’m … I’m sorry I kissed you.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I crooned at him, wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on mine again. I could feel his erection underneath me, straining against his jeans. He wanted me; no matter what he was saying. His body was saying something entirely different.
I started to reach for him but he held me back. “No, Nikki, this isn’t how I want things,” he insisted as I felt my heart drop.
“Oh,” I said as a rush of humiliation flooded me and I paused in my attempt to attack him.
“Fuck,” he muttered as he faced me. “That’s not how I meant it. I want you,” he insisted. “I want nothing more than to tear your clothes off and take you right here, but that’s not how things can be between us. You know that as well as I do.”
I nodded but couldn’t say anything because of the lump in my throat.
I was a total idiot. I’d just forced myself on him and he didn’t want me. First Brandon, then Beau, and now Derek. What the fuck was wrong with me?
Derek didn’t say anything else, but he opened his door and jumped down to the ground. I caught him adjusting himself, and when I glanced at his pants, I could see his hardness still straining against them. The guy was as hard as hard could be, and what was more, it looked like his penis was enormous. And yet he wasn’t willing to give it to me, he didn’t want me. And, for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why. This went against everything I’d ever heard. It was supposed to be easy to get a guy to have sex with you.
The Handbook Page 17
