by Raven Scott
I could see it on David’s face that he knew what I was talking about.
I sighed as my heart hung with heaviness. “David, I’m not gonna break up with you because your sister’s crazy.”
“It was more a self-depreciating joke about...” Waving his hand dismissively, David raked his fingers through his hair as we turned a corner. “I know you won’t, Ness. Reece and I just bitch at each other about everything and anything, even if it’s not practical. I also said my dad would like you, but I don’t actually know if he will because he’d be so fucking salty that you’re more successful than me and my dad’s lowkey a dick. We do it to each other. It’s like screaming into a void. It doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass like right this moment.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that was... I’m sorry. Um...” My face flamed in regret.
David only smiled, leaning over to kiss my temple. “It’s okay, Ness. You’re right, though. My sister’s a nobody and doesn’t deserve anything from me, least of all my concern. Once my dad gets here and I move out, it’s not my problem anymore. I’m only this involved because of my mom, but even then... if she wants to give Sarah chance after chance, after witnessing Sarah attack you, then all I can do is wash my hands of it.” Rubbing my side reassuringly, David pursed his lips thinly. “Speaking of, do you want to go to dinner with me and my mom and dad on Tuesday?”
I struggled not to melt under my shame “Yes, I do. I want to apologize to your mom.” I nodded firmly and the uncomfortable atmosphere shattered in the chill air. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I glanced down at the concrete as we walked and gathered my courage. “Do you think I should explain what the misunderstanding was about?”
“I think it’s entirely up to you if you want to divulge that, but my mom also recognizes that Sarah was probably lying and attacked you for some made-up reason, even if it’s a sorta made-up reason, somewhat. What are you thinkin’ for lunch today?”
When I blinked, all I could see was David’s face when I told him the truth about me and what I did. He looked horrified and what he said afterwards about blame...
But he never looked at me with pity.
“I think I’m just gonna get a salad,” I spoke up absently, my mind somewhere else, and my stomach grumbled softly at the notion of food. “I have a meeting this afternoon that I’m not looking forward to.”
“Yeah. Honestly, my sister aside, everything’s really workin’ out for me right now. I got this great job, an awesome girl, and a loose plan to move out...” David smiled happily and squeezed my hip against his warmly. “I’m glad we decided to take things slowly.”
“Me too.” We reached our destination, and even the cold couldn’t stop the line that stretched just beyond the door. Parking myself on the edge of the sidewalk, I glanced up at the sky, to see thick, heavy clouds hanging low. “I need a break. Christmas Day and New Year’s is always a relief. I brought Igra up to Carlyle’s place upstate last night after he got some disturbing news. It was on the way back that you accidentally called me, but I also realized that place... isn’t my home anymore.”
“How’d you end up coming here permanently, anyway?”
I scowled automatically as my mind flung back to that horrid time.
David arched a brow quizzically at me.
I scuffed my heel against the pavement and shoved my hands into my coat pockets. “You know those terrible, spoiled, rich kids that have no business doing anything, but do it anyway because Dad hopes to teach them some responsibility? That’s why. I went from being Carlyle’s secretary to his little brother’s babysitter. It lasted a little under a year before I couldn’t take it anymore and almost strangled him.” I didn’t even have words to describe how much I hated Mateo, that little asshole. It’d been so long since he even popped into my head.
David chuckled a little at my complaining. “What happened? I can’t imagine someone would last long under you. Did he go back to his dad?”
Rolling my jaw, I debated exactly what to tell David, but I ended up shrugging lightly. Shuffling when the line shorted, and I stood just outside the doorway. “He got kidnapped by the Italian Mafia for like, a week or something and did a complete 180.”
David stared blankly at me, wrapping his mind around that for a second.
My scowl darkened. “He’s married with a kid and stuff, I guess. I don’t know. Technically, he doesn’t exist anymore, per Carlyle’s request, but I know his dad looks him up sometimes.”
“Oh... I guess I should’ve expected that, maybe. Something like that was still around just a few years ago?”
Nodding as we shuffled through the threshold, I pursed my lips as a few people slipped out, and the line got noticeably shorter. This soup and salad place was adequate-tasting, close, but most of all, they had a deli. Letting the conversation fall to wander over to the display case, I turned to David as he stared up at the deli menu. “My treat?”
29
David
My eyes fixed on the elegant sign hanging over the sidewalk and I reached to rub the back of my neck roughly. Every time I blinked, it seemed, time skipped forward, and I was scrambling to keep up. One day, I was being talked around like rock in a waterfall about Russia or something, and then next...
It was fucking Tuesday, somehow, and I couldn’t figure out how that happened.
“You look like you’re going to pass out.”
I jumped a little, my chin nearly stabbing my chest as Vanessa gazed at me with concern shimmering in her beautiful, baby blues. My heart tried to squeeze through my ribs and I inhaled a deep, stabilizing breath as I raked both my hands through my hair.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I don’t know anymore. I didn’t think seeing my dad again would make me so... uncomfortable. I remember lunch on Thursday and then... not much. Did I go on a bender or something this weekend?” Her lips twitched down, and my vision seemed to clear to take Vanessa in under the golden glow of the streetlamps. She’d pinned back her hair, her sleek, black dress outlining her curves but not skimpy.
She wandered closer to me to press the back of her hand against my forehead. “You’ve been through a lot, David. Maybe, you should postpone. Your dad might be the tipping point and it’s not bad to take a moment to gather yourself before you see him.” Concern lowered her tone.
My ears rang even as I shook my head. Am I really this nervous about seeing my dad?
“Are you sure?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, I just wanna get this over with. It’s just been like, almost eleven years since I saw my dad. I didn’t think I’d be so damn nervous.” Vanessa didn’t question me anymore, which was great because I really did feel like I was going to pass out. She took my hand and I closed my eyes to take a stabilizing breath that did nothing to relieve the pressure on my shoulders. “Let’s go in before I change my mind and run away.”
“It’ll be okay. I promise,” she said.
This restaurant didn’t require a tuxedo, but I could still probably never afford to eat here. My palms were clammy as I gripped the door handle.
Vanessa stepped inside first to shirk off her coat. Her beauty wasn’t as distracting as usual though, and I gnawed on my inner cheek viciously as I scanned the place.
My parents had already arrived early, but Vanessa and I were on time, so I’d missed them coming in. When I spotted my mom, she was smiling a little, and I squeezed Vanessa’s hand as apprehension slithered down my spine. For the first time in a decade, I laid eyes on my dad, and he looked... good.
He looks exactly the same as I remember.
“Do you want to go to the bar and get some water, David?”
I shook my head without really hearing Vanessa’s question and forced my knees to bend. Turning to her, I gulped down my heart trying to clog my throat. “I’m a man. I got this. It’s just my dad.” Before I could change my mind, I started towards the table we’d reserved, and Vanessa rubbed my lower back. I felt like such a little bitch the moment my dad not
iced me. Everything in me screamed that somehow, I was doing something wrong, and my dad was gonna give me hell.
I never realized how much his persistent negativity affected me until it came back. A cold sweat broke out on my back as cool, grey eyes that I’d inherited landed on me, as we neared the table.
He stood up smiling a little, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “David. Look at you. You’re a big man, now.”
Now, I knew where all that lost time went as it suddenly came rushing back at me. A tight smile of my own tilted my lips, and we shook hands after I managed to discreetly smooth my jacket.
My dad’s gaze slid to Vanessa, and I downright, openly cringed when he scanned her from top to bottom. “You’re quite beautiful, aren’t you?”
“You’re quite tactless, aren’t you?”
Vanessa’s deadpanned stare and words widened my dad’s eyes and rose his brows.
I cleared my throat roughly. Pulling out a chair for her, I prayed to any god that would listen that this didn’t turn into a disaster.
She smiled at me, seating herself, and I sat down before she grabbed my hand again under the table. Then she looked over at my mom. “I would just like to apologize for last week, ma’am. I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble.”
“Oh, it’s not a problem. I just wish you’d stayed to eat, but I totally understand why you didn’t, Vanessa.” My mom’s voice droned a little.
I watched my dad get mad, still standing, still obviously upset at Vanessa’s comeback. He wasn’t used to being the less assertive person in the room, and it was utterly embarrassing.
“I’ve wanted to apologize, too,” my mom added. “Sarah had no right and you did nothing wrong in defending yourself.”
“Oh, no. She did, in a way. She was right, technically. He raped me.”
I didn’t think Vanessa had ever said Samuel’s name, but the gravity of her declaration snapped my dad out of his funk. His head whipped to the side, and my mom gasped in horror.
Vanessa’s nails dug into my palm slightly. “I told her, showed her all the proof I had at her bachelorette party and she must’ve confronted him or something because he disappeared. Somehow, in her head, she twisted the truth into an affair, which ultimately caused her to attack me.” Vanessa shot me this look that cut through my parents’ shock and said ‘there, now everyone’s uncomfortable.’
I pursed my lips thinly.
My dad sat in his seat with a soft grunt, covering his mouth as his brows furrowed deeply.
Across from me, my mom was just slack jawed and white with horror, and the silence was so thick it threatened to choke me.
“So, now that we’re passed the awkward introductions and bad small talk, let’s order some wine,” Vanessa spoke like we were in a business meeting, and... I guess, in a way, we were. Just, with my parents. And talking about private stuff. “It’s my treat, tonight.”
This is gonna be a disaster. Rubbing Vanessa’s hand with my thumb, I watched my dad out of the corner of my eye. I could literally fucking see him reevaluating his whole fucking life.
His daughter attacked the girl her boyfriend had raped. His daughter twisted everything so badly that she truly believed her own lies. Where did he go wrong? What did he not do good enough?
I knew the truth. I knew that was just who Sarah was. As much as she lied to herself, my dad blamed himself for not being able to correct her.
But even he couldn’t fix crazy.
“... I-I am... I don’t know— that’s just terrible, Vanessa. I’m so sorry that happened to you,” my mom stammered. “I always knew Samuel wasn’t that great, but I never...”
Vanessa nodded gratefully as the shock and weight of her comment slithered away. “It’s not your fault. You raised a wonderful man in David. I’m really lucky.”
Flames licked up my cheeks when Vanessa aimed her beautiful smile at me. “Stop it...” Grumbling lowly, I sunk a little in my seat.
Vanessa’s eyes lit up with delight.
Bashfulness wasn’t something I was well accustomed to and I covered my mouth with my free hand to hide my smile. Under the table, our fingers tangled together, and I heaved a deep breath as I sat up straight again.
With Vanessa, I could handle what life threw at me. Sure, she had a bit of a past, but what I lacked in experience, she made up for. Just like how I was terrible with drama, she was terrible with... just being happy and enjoying life.
And we could help each other. Carlyle Santino and his killer glare didn’t matter. Whatever shady shit she was in, I could ignore. My sister would dig her own grave with no help from anyone else.
Everything would work out for the better. She has my back. I don’t know why I was so nervous about this meeting. Vanessa can hold her own against my dad even if I can’t. Because that was what people in a relationship did— we had each other’s back. Vanessa and I may be taking things slow, but we were going to last. I knew it in my bones.
“So... I turned down that job I told you about, Mom.” Speaking up to the break the awkward silence that settled heavily on the table, I inhaled deeply through my nose.
She looked at me with frazzled eyes, as her lips parted to form a surprised ‘O’.
I nodded firmly. “I just don’t think I can handle it right now. I told him I appreciated the offer, but I didn’t think I was an appropriate person for the job.”
“Oh, well... that’s more than fine, David. You’ve always been good at picking your battles. You shouldn’t overwhelm yourself, especially if your future in your current position is bright.” She smiled at me, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
I cleared my throat roughly.
Somehow managing to tear his eyes off Vanessa, my dad’s brows rose only to furrow deeply. He stood up and just... shuffled off.
I twisted in my seat to watch him through narrowed eyes.
“You should go after him, David,” Vanessa leaned over to whisper in my ear, squeezing my hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry.”
“Uh— yeah, sure. Okay.” The moment our palms separated, mine became clammy, and I followed my dad to the bar.
He looked upset, his face drawn, and I imagined he’d sprouted a few grey hairs in the last few seconds.
“Dad... about what Vanessa said... it’s not your fault, you know?” Seating myself as I spoke, I frowned when my dad just held his forehead in his palms and blew out a hot breath. Despite all his flaws, at least he wasn’t an alcoholic, but I flagged down the bartender anyway.
All the while, I ordered two scotches, he was quiet, brooding, trying to make sense of what he’d just experienced.
And I knew the feeling. Vanessa had said the same thing to me in near the same way. Nonchalant. A matter of fact. As if it happened and it did, she was at peace with it. Well, of course she’s at peace with it now.
“W—” Opening his mouth only to snap it shut, my dad turned to me with tortured, grey eyes. “... I always hoped that when Sarah tossed that loser, she’d be a better person for it... How can she lie to herself that she’d think...”
“Dad... at some point, your responsibility as a parent ends, and her responsibility as an adult begins. It’s ironic that I’m the one telling you, but Sarah was always careful to hide what a twisted, conniving bitch she’s always been. This isn’t surprising to me at all. This is how she’s always been. It’s not because you’re a bad dad or anything.”
My dad’s haggard face closed up like a book.
I tentatively reached to hold his arm. He was tense, raging under his nice suit, and my lips tilted when he stiffened. “The more you tried to correct it, the harder she tried to hide it. It is what it is.”
I sound like Reece. Now, I truly understood those five words. It just was what it was, and normal was relative. Some people were into shady stuff. Some people had crazy, violent sisters that blamed their shitty life on everyone else. Some people were able to overcome and others weren’t.
“You and I have never had a drink together,” Changing th
e subject as the bartender passed us our drinks, my dad’s gravelly tone didn’t disappear when he cleared his throat. “Let’s do that. We have a lot to catch up on, David. Congratulations on your job.”
30
Vanessa
“Trevor was a great father. Not a great husband, but we were able to stick to it because he is a great dad.”
Twisting just in time to catch David smile broadly at something his father said, I nodded quietly.
His mom’s own smile faltered and she held her cheek in her palm to sigh softly. “You know, the first time we talked about divorce was right after David was born? But Trevor refused, said he wouldn’t let his kids grow up like that. Even when it became more and more obvious that something was wrong with Sarah, he never used the opportunity to bail out, until David’s second year in college.”
“He’s mentioned it before, yeah. It’s nice to know he had good role models and opportunities.”
She blushed faintly, waving her had at me.
I wondered if I’d ever met anyone so stereotypically ‘old lady.’ “It’s nice that he came up despite your problems and is putting them first.”
“Oh, there have been incidents between Sarah and David, especially when they were teenagers. She’s always felt second-fiddle to him, for some reason. Sarah would steal his homework and ruin his school projects. It was always obvious to us that Sarah wanted to coast through life without much effort, and there’s nothing wrong with that... but because of that disposition, she always felt inferior to him doing better than her. We tried to nip the lying in the butt, but she just got better at it.”
David’s story about the wedgie flashed through my head and I nodded.
His mom shook her head slightly. “I don’t blame myself, which may be wrong, but Sarah’s 33 years old. She’s long past the time when her parenting was the issue because we were not bad parents.”
