Rachel Hawthorne
Moonlight
A Dark Guardian Novel
For Alex, werewolf and tattoo advisor extraordinaire.
Thanks for all the brainstorming lunch sessions and for
answering my questions at two in the morning.
You rock! Love, Mom
Contents
Prologue
Moonlight washed over us, washed over Lucas and me.
One
Fear. It was a living, breathing thing that resided inside…
Two
I was crouched in a tiny, dark place. I was…
Three
I caught up with Lucas a couple of minutes later.
Four
“Werewolves? You really believe in the existence of werewolves?” I…
Five
The next day was pretty much like the day before…
Six
It was late the next afternoon when we reached the…
Seven
The bear was huge! Standing on its hind legs, it…
Eight
“What are you talking about?” Dr. Keane demanded.
Nine
Lindsey was right. My night watch shift was with Lucas.
Ten
The next day, because I was still bruised and sore,…
Eleven
“Are you insane?” I yelled as I rushed over to…
Twelve
For such a little word, us had huge ramifications. Us…
Thirteen
The waterfall cascaded into a pool. Lucas told me there…
Fourteen
“Devlin was pack leader before me.”
Fifteen
With a challenging growl, Lucas catapulted himself toward Devlin.
Sixteen
When I woke up, it was early nightfall. Lucas was…
Seventeen
That night I slept within the cocoon of Lucas’s arms,…
About the Author
Other Books by Rachel Hawthorne
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
PROLOGUE
Moonlight washed over us, washed over Lucas and me.
A hushed silence permeated the forest. Giant trees surrounded us. Their rustling leaves whispered warnings in the warm breeze of the summer night. But we ignored them. We cared only about one another.
He was much taller than I was, and I had to bend my head back to gaze into his silver eyes. They were hypnotic, which should have calmed my racing heart but instead only made it speed up. Or maybe it was the nearness of his lips that sent my heart into a chaotic rhythm.
He took a step closer and I retreated, but a tree stopped me from going as far away as I wanted. Was I ready for this? Was I ready for a kiss that would change my life? I knew that if he kissed me I’d never be the same again. That we would never be the same. That our relationship would shift—
My mind stuttered with the enormity of such a simple word. Shift. It meant more to me now—now that I understood.
Lucas was suddenly nearer. I hadn’t seen the movement. He was just there. He could move that quickly. My knees grew weak, and I was grateful that I had a sturdy tree to lean against. He lifted his arm and pressed his forearm against the bark over my head as though he, too, needed some sort of support. The action brought him even closer. I felt the welcoming heat of his body reaching out to mine. Under normal circumstances he would have drawn me in for a comforting snuggle, but nothing about tonight was normal.
He was beautiful in the moonlight. Gorgeous, really. His thick, straight hair—a medley of colors: white, black, and silver, with a little brown thrown in for good measure—hung down to his shoulders. I had this reckless urge to touch it, to touch him.
But I knew any movement on my part would be a signal to him, a signal that I was ready. And I wasn’t. I didn’t want what he was offering. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.
What was I afraid of? It was only a kiss. I’d kissed other guys. I’d kissed Lucas.
So why did the thought of a kiss from Lucas tonight terrify me? The answer was simple: I knew this kiss would bind us together forever.
His fingers gently brushed my hair back from my brow. He’d once told me the shade of it reminded him of a fox. He thought of everything in terms related to the forest. It suited him and his solitary ways.
Why was he so patient? Why didn’t he push? Did he feel it, too? Did he understand how momentous it would be if—
He dipped his head down. I didn’t move. I barely breathed. In spite of all my reservations, I desired this. I craved it. But still I fought against it.
His lips were almost touching mine. Almost.
“Kayla,” he murmured invitingly, and his warm breath caressed my cheek. “It’s time.”
Tears stung my eyes. I shook my head, refusing to acknowledge the truth of his words. “I’m not ready.”
I heard an ominous, throaty growl in the distance. He stiffened. I knew he’d heard it, too. He shoved away from me and glanced over his shoulder. That’s when I saw them: a dozen wolves restlessly prowling the perimeter of the clearing.
Lucas looked back at me, disappointment reflected in his silver eyes. “Then pick another. But you can’t go through it alone.”
He turned his back on me and began striding with purpose toward the wolves.
“Wait!” I screamed after him.
But it was too late.
He started discarding his clothes with each quickening step. Then he was running. He leaped into the air—
By the time he hit the ground, he was a wolf. He’d transformed in the shimmering wink of time from boy to beast. He was as beautiful in wolf form as in human form.
He threw back his head and howled at the moon, the harbinger of change, the bringer of destiny. The anguished sound reverberated through me, called to me. I wrestled against answering, but the wildness that resided deep inside me was too strong, too determined to have its way.
I started running toward him….
It was difficult to believe that less than two weeks ago, I was laughing and mocking the idea of werewolves actually existing.
And now I, Kayla Madison, was about to become one.
ONE
Less than two weeks earlier…
Fear. It was a living, breathing thing that resided inside me. Sometimes I could feel it prowling around, striving to break free. It journeyed with me now as Lindsey and I stalked through the national forest’s dense thicket near midnight. But I’d become pretty good at hiding the panic. I didn’t want Lindsey to think she’d made a mistake when she’d convinced me to work as a wilderness guide with her during the summer. I figured I could learn a few tricks from her about battling my inner demons. She took the meaning of adventuresome to a whole new level.
But still, coming alone to a place where wild things looked for tasty snacks was insane. It was even crazier that we hadn’t told anyone. We’d kept quiet because leaving the barracks once the lights were out was reason for dismissal. After surviving a week of intensive training, I definitely didn’t want to get fired the night before my first assignment.
I tightened my fingers around my weapon—a Maglite. My adoptive dad is a cop who taught me, like, a hundred ways to kill a man using a flashlight. Okay, so I’m prone to exaggeration, but still, he’d shown me a few self-defense moves.
Off to the side where the trees and brush were thickest, I heard a rustling noise.
“Shh! Wait up. What was that?” I whispered harshly.
Lindsey scanned her flashlight between the trees and into the darkness of the canopy of leaves above. While there was a crescent moon tonight, its light couldn’t penetrate the thickness of the trees here. “What was what?”
My flashlight bea
m hit her as I swung it around. She flinched and held up a hand to protect her eyes from the harsh light. Her silky, white-blond hair reflected the light and appeared magical. She reminded me of a whimsical fairy, but I knew her delicate features hid an inner strength. She’d been featured in the local paper because she’d saved a child from a cougar attack by putting herself between the animal and the child and yelling at it until it ran off.
“I thought I heard something,” I told her.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.” My heart thudding, I glanced around again. I loved the outdoors. But tonight, being out here gave me the creeps. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched or having a Blair Witch Project moment.
“Like footsteps?” Lindsey asked.
“Not really. Not like a person makes. More a soft plodding, like walking in your socks—or on paws maybe.”
Lindsey slung her arm easily around my slender shoulders. She was a little taller than I was, and her muscles were firm from all the hiking and rock climbing she did. We’d met last summer when I’d come camping with my parents. Lindsey had been one of our guides—or sherpas, as the park personnel referred to them. We’d connected and become fast friends, keeping in touch over the school year.
“We’re not being followed,” Lindsey assured me. “Everyone was asleep when we left our cabin.”
“What if it’s some kind of predator?” This fear I was experiencing didn’t make sense. But I knew I’d heard something, and I knew it wasn’t friendly. I couldn’t explain how I knew—just a sixth sense sort of thing.
Lindsey’s laughter echoed through the trees.
“I’m serious. What about that cougar you chased off last summer?” I asked.
“What about him?”
“What if he’s out for revenge?”
“Then he’ll eat me, not you. Unless he’s just hungry. Then he’ll eat whoever runs the slowest.”
Which would be me, I thought. I wasn’t exactly athletically challenged, but I wasn’t American Gladiators material either.
I took a deep breath and listened intently. The woods were eerily quiet. Didn’t they go silent when danger was near? “Maybe we should head back.”
We were about a mile from the village that was at the entrance to the park. Lindsey and I shared a small cabin with Brittany, another guide. Once lights were out at eleven, no one was supposed to leave the cabin.
Now Lindsey imitated the sound of a chicken. “Bawk! Bawk!”
“Very funny. What if we get fired?” I asked.
“We’ll only get fired if we get caught. Come on.”
“What exactly is it that you want to show me?” All she’d told me was that she wanted to share “something intense” with me. It had been enough to make me curious, but that was when we were in the safety of the village.
“Look, Kayla, if you’re going to be a sherpa, you have to connect with your inner adventure girl. Trust me. What I’m about to show you is well worth the risk of losing job, life, or limb.”
“Wow. Really?” Was she dodging my question? It sure seemed like it. I glanced around suspiciously. “Is the male of the species involved?” Because honestly, that’s the only thing I considered worth the danger.
Lindsey sighed impatiently. “You’re hopeless. Let’s go.”
Since I didn’t want to be left alone, I fell into step beside her. As far as I was concerned, my caution was well earned. When I was five, my mom and dad were killed in these very woods. My adoptive parents had brought me here last summer to help me get over the trauma, which was probably a few years too late to really do any good. We’d camped here for nearly a week. I’d had an amazing time, but I wasn’t sure how effective the experience had been in helping me to get over my “issues.”
Yeah, supposedly I had emotional problems. So I was in therapy, spending a wasted hour each week with a shrink named Dr. Brandon, whose Yoda-like pronouncements—face your fears, you must—irritated more than helped me. Truly, I would have rather spent time with a dentist.
Maybe I was only kidding myself to think that I was brave enough to face the elements of the wild, day after day. Although what was I really afraid of? It wasn’t even an animal that had attacked my parents. They’d been shot by two beer-guzzling hunters—in the woods illegally—who had stupidly mistaken them for wolves.
Thanks to those hunters, snarling, growling wolves regularly inhabited my dreams, resulting in many restless nights and frequent bouts of screaming in my sleep. Hence the therapy to get at the root of my nightmares. Dr. Brandon theorized that it was my subconscious trying to justify how two idiots could have shot my parents and then, with straight faces, tell authorities, “They were wolves. Swear to God, they were. They were gonna eat that little girl.”
That little girl, of course, had been me. Everything that had happened on that long-ago afternoon was a blur. Everything except my parents lying dead on the forest floor.
God, how could they mistake people for wolves?
Behind me, brush crackled. I paused midstep. The hairs on my nape prickled. I slid my hand beneath the curtain of my red hair and rubbed my neck. A shiver went through me and goose bumps erupted over my arms. I had a feeling that if I turned around, I’d see whatever it was. Did I want to face it?
Lindsey tromped back. “What’s wrong now?”
“Something’s watching,” I whispered. “I can feel it.”
Lindsey didn’t blow me off this time. She glanced around. “Could be an owl checking out a tasty morsel—or that late-night snack scampering away.”
“Maybe, but it feels more sinister.”
“Growing up down the road, I’ve spent most of my life in these woods. There’s nothing sinister out here.”
“What about the cougar?”
“That was way deep in the wilderness. We’re still practically in civilization here. In a few areas you can still get cell phone reception.” She tugged my hand. “A hundred steps and we’ll be there.”
I followed, but stayed alert. There was something. I was certain of it. Not an owl or a rodent. Not anything in the trees, not anything tiny. Something that stalked its prey.
A shudder rippled through me. Prey? Why had I thought that? But it was true. It was what I felt. Something was watching and waiting. But watching whom exactly? And waiting for what?
How many steps were left? Forty? It had been so stupid to come out without even telling anyone. My parents were going to kill me if they ever found out. I’d promised to be responsible. It was my first time away from them, and my adoptive mom had lectured me ad nauseam about being careful.
Up ahead, a brightness through the foliage caught my attention. “What’s that?”
“What I wanted to show you.”
We stepped between the trees and into a clearing, illuminated by a campfire. Before I could ask another question, a dozen kids—the other sherpas—leaped out from behind trees. “Surprise!” they yelled. “Happy birthday!”
My heart nearly stopped. I pressed a hand to my chest and laughed, grateful that it didn’t sound hysterical. “My birthday isn’t today.”
“It’s tomorrow, right?” Connor asked. He combed his sandy-blond hair off his brow to reveal his dark-blue eyes. He held up a wrist that sported a watch with numerous dials. “In ten seconds, nine, eight—”
The others joined in the countdown. I could see them clearly, standing in front of the fire. A short distance away from Connor was Rafe, with straight black hair that reached his shoulders and eyes a dark brown that bordered on black. He never said much. I was surprised he was actually counting.
“Seven, six—”
Beside him, Brittany looked almost like his twin. Her hair, falling past her shoulders, was black and her eyes were deep blue. She’d been asleep when we left. Or faking it, I realized. Yeah, trying to pull one over on me. She’d succeeded. How did she get here ahead of us? I wondered.
There were other sherpas, ones I’d met but not really connected with.
Still, it meant a lot to me that they’d shown up to make tonight special.
“Five, four—”
At school, I’d always felt like an outsider. The girl who’d lost her parents. The adopted one. The one who didn’t really belong. Jack and Terri Asher had taken me in. They weren’t wicked stepparents or anything, but they just didn’t always get me. But then, did any parents totally understand their kids?
“Three, two, one. Happy birthday!”
Connor moved around to the other side of the fire and crouched. A flame flared. Then a bottle rocket shot into the sky and exploded into a burst of red, white, blue, and green.
I was pretty sure that fireworks in a national forest were illegal. But I was too happy to care. Besides, I was free from parental restraints this summer. I wanted to finally test misbehavior boundaries.
“I can’t believe you remembered!” I was so touched. Not even my few friends back home had ever thrown me a surprise party. I’d never minded because my natural parents had died on my birthday, so I always had mixed feelings about the day.
“Birthdays are important,” Lindsey said. “Especially this one. Sweet seventeen.”
Brittany extended a tray that held seventeen store-bought cupcakes, a candle in each one casting its yellow glow.
“I love cupcakes,” I said, “especially the prepackaged, made-by-the-millions kind with the cream-filled center.”
“Make a wish and blow them out.”
I took a deep breath and leaned forward, and that’s when I saw him.
Lucas Wilde.
He was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his broad chest, almost lost in the shadows as though he didn’t want to be seen. But he had such a powerful presence that I was surprised he’d escaped my notice as long as he had. His eyes glowed silver in the darkness. As always, he was watching me intently.
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