by Vi Keeland
That night, I’d finally changed the color of my tips again. They’d been green since the night of the gala. There was only one color that seemed to fit the current situation.
Code red.
CHAPTER 16
GRAHAM
IT FELT LIKE SORAYA WAS SLIPPING away from me. The excuse she gave me about hanging out with her friends was a load of bullshit. The worst part was that I couldn’t even say I blamed her. Imagine if the situation were reversed. How would I have handled it, knowing that she’d given birth to another man’s baby? That thought made me sick to my stomach. I felt so possessive over her; I just couldn’t imagine it.
This week had been like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. All I wanted was to go back to the way things were before the wake. Everything was so simple then.
I had so much work to get done but couldn’t stop thinking about the two females infiltrating my mind: Soraya and Chloe.
If she really was my daughter, then I owed her so much. None of this was her fault.
Don’t get ahead of yourself.
I needed that paternity test. There was still a part of me that wouldn’t believe it until I had proof. I couldn’t allow myself to get emotionally invested until there was no doubt that she was mine.
My secretary’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “Ms. Moreau is here to see you.”
Clicking my watch, I took a deep breath and said, “Send her in.”
The door opened, and Genevieve strutted into my office like she owned the place. There was a time when she practically did. She, Liam, and I would spend hours strategizing in this very office until the wee hours of the morning. She’d given me endless blow jobs under the very desk she now sat in front of with her legs crossed. It seemed just like yesterday, except for the fact that my previous love for her had turned into what felt like hate.
She placed a white box on my desk. “I brought you your favorite cupcake from Magnolia. Peanut Butter. I remember how much you—”
“Fuck! Shut up about the cupcake,” I spewed. “Is she mine?”
So much for a gradual lead in to the discussion.
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“You heard me. Chloe. Is she my daughter?”
She looked absolutely shocked as her cheeks turned red. How could she not have seen this confrontation coming?
When she didn’t speak, I continued, “Why do you look so surprised, Genevieve? Did you really think I was going to see her at the wake and not ask you that very question?”
“I don’t know, Graham.”
“What you do mean you don’t know?”
“I’ve been dreading this moment for five years. I don’t know how to possibly explain my thinking to you in a way that you’ll understand.”
“Well…I have all damn day. Figure it out.” When she continued to be silent, I said, “Alright, I’ll start then. You were fucking Liam and me at the same time, correct?”
“Yes.”
“How long after we were last together did you find out you were pregnant?”
“A month.”
“How far along were you?”
“Two months.”
I threw a pen across the room in anger. “How the fuck could you do this?” Spit had flown out of my mouth as I said it.
Tears started to form in her eyes. “Can you try to let me explain?”
“I’m looking forward to watching you try to explain your way out of this, in fact.”
She closed her eyes for a moment then said, “I was in love with both of you, Graham. I truly was. It was selfish of me to feel entitled to that, but I did. I wanted it to go on forever. Being with both of you was the best of both worlds. I knew that once you found out, that would be it. I’d told Liam that you and I had stopped sleeping together. He didn’t know that I’d been with both of you at the same time. Apparently, you never told him otherwise.”
“I barely spoke to either one of you after I caught you.”
“I know. I’m quite aware. It still breaks my heart to this day.” She gazed out the window for what seemed like minutes to gather her thoughts. Then, she finally spoke again. “When Chloe was born, her complexion was lighter than it is now. She didn’t have much hair. It wasn’t immediately evident that she didn’t look like either Liam or me. As she became a toddler, I knew he was noticing how much she looked like you. He chose to ignore it. We both chose to ignore it. Things were so bad between the three of us at that time. And Liam loved Chloe more than life. He couldn’t have faced the possibility that she wasn’t really his.”
“What about me? Did you think I would never find out?”
“Deep down, I always felt she was yours. And, to be honest, that made me happy. Things between Liam and me went sour pretty fast after we were married. I realized that I’d made a huge mistake. I still loved you so much and will always deeply regret hurting you.”
“Again, I still don’t understand how you could’ve kept this from me.”
“I don’t have an excuse, except to say that I didn’t want to disrupt Chloe’s life. And a part of me felt like I couldn’t do that to Liam. Staying with him was the lesser of two evils because I knew you wouldn’t ever take me back. So, I let things be the way they were. I was just trying to keep the peace.” More tears fell from her eyes.
I refused to soften. “I want a paternity test immediately.”
“I’m not going to fight you on that, Graham. I’ll give you whatever you want. Time with her. The test. All that I ask is that if it turns out you’re the father, please wait to tell her until she’s a little older and can understand better. She just lost the only father she’s ever known. And she’s devastated.”
“I would never do anything to harm her. I’m fine with not telling her for a while if that’s in her best interest.”
“I really do care about you. I never meant to hurt you. Please believe that.”
“I want that test within a week, Genevieve. I’ll make the arrangements so that I can be sure the results are accurate.”
A look of panic suddenly washed over her face. “You’re not going to try to take her away from me, are you?”
“I would never take a child away from its mother.”
Genevieve sniffled. “Thank you.”
“If it turns out she’s mine, I want you to gather every single picture you have ever taken of her since the day she was born. Do you understand me?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
***
THAT NIGHT, ALL I WANTED was to see Soraya. Smell Soraya. Sleep next to Soraya. My body felt like it was withdrawing from the strongest kind of drug. It had only been a few days without her, but it felt like a lifetime. It wasn’t just the physical need. I missed her humor, her sarcasm, her laugh.
It was late. I had just left the hospital from visiting Meme, and I wasn’t sure if Soraya would even still be up. My driver, Louis, had the rest of the night off. Without thinking, I grabbed my jacket and headed down to the garage.
I hadn’t texted or called her first. So, driving to her place was a risk. But I couldn’t chance her telling me not to come.
There was no parking near her apartment, so I had to walk two blocks in the pouring rain. When I finally got to her door, I pressed the buzzer to her apartment.
She sounded groggy. “Hello?”
I closed my eyes because I’d missed her voice. “Baby, it’s me.”
“Graham…it’s late.”
I leaned my forehead against the wall. “I know.”
Without saying anything further, she buzzed me in. Relief washed over me as I walked swiftly up the stairs two at a time.
My hair and jacket were soaked. I must have looked like a drowned rat. When she opened the door, she didn’t immediately let me in. I didn’t know whether she was going to kick me out or tell me to come inside. It was her call to make. I had no right to push after the mess I’d just brought her into. I took her in for a moment. She was completely unmade up in a thin, white night
shirt. Her nipples were saluting me. At least they were happy to see me. She looked so gorgeous, even with her hair a matted mess.
The tips were red.
I was losing her.
“Oh, God. Come in. You’re soaked.”
Thank fuck for the rain. I wasn’t above taking sympathy at this point.
She closed the door and disappeared for a moment, then came back with a towel. “Here. Give me that wet jacket.”
I peeled off the top layer. My dress shirt underneath it was still dry. I should have stood outside for a while longer.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“No. Everything isn’t okay.”
“I take it your meeting with Genevieve didn’t go well today?”
“She admitted she wasn’t sure that Liam was Chloe’s father. She was fucking both of us at the same time and realized after we broke up that she was pregnant. She agreed to get Chloe DNA tested within the next week.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
I looked into her eyes. “Say you won’t leave me.”
She looked away. “Graham…everything is so uncertain right now. I’m so confused.”
“I feel the same way. My mind is spinning out of control, and there is only one thing I’m sure of right now. Do you know what that is, Soraya?”
She was staring at the ground, but lifted her eyes, looking up at me through her dark eyelashes. “What?”
“I want you. I want to be with you. I’m head over fucking ass about you, and I need to know you aren’t going to leave me.”
She cracked a small smile. “I think the saying is head over heels about you.”
“Whatever.” I wrapped my hands around her waist and locked them behind her back. “Tell me you aren’t going to leave me over this.”
“We don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“I know what I want.”
“Graham…things can change.”
“I need you, Soraya. I’ve never said that to another woman in my life.” I leaned my forehead against her and whispered, “I need you.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Taking her face in my hands, I lifted it, so our eyes met. “No more bullshit avoiding me.”
“I had plans with Tig and Delia.”
I flashed her a look that called bullshit.
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “I was avoiding you.”
I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. For the first time since the funeral, the world seemed to stop spinning for a moment.
“Do you want to stay tonight?”
“Try to get me to leave.”
That night, with my body wrapped around Soraya, I finally got some much-needed sleep. I’d even slept in late the next morning until the sound of my phone ringing woke me up.
CHAPTER 17
SORAYA
I KNEW WHO IT WAS from the tone in his voice. Luckily, I was facing away from him, so I could listen to the whole conversation without having to pretend it didn’t cut deep into me. It was bad enough another woman was calling his cell at seven in the morning while he was lying in my bed, but the mother of his child was another thing altogether.
Is this how it would be? Graham was not the type of man who would ever ignore a phone call if the woman who had custody of his child was calling. This bitch who had screwed him out of years of watching his daughter grow up could now interrupt his life at any given time of day. I had no doubt that she would use it to her fullest advantage, too.
“I’ll make arrangements for a private lab to come to your home Monday at ten.”
He was quiet as he listened. I heard the sound of her voice but couldn’t make out the words. There were a few more curt exchanges, and then right before he hung up, his voice softened. “How is she doing?”
My heart ached for him.
After, I kept quiet for a few minutes, giving him some time. When I finally spoke, my back was still to him. “You okay?”
Graham hugged me from behind and kissed my shoulder. “I’m good. Sorry about that. She was calling to make arrangements for the DNA test.”
I turned over and faced him. “She’s still in love with you.”
He looked down. “I’m not sure Genevieve is capable of love.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“She doesn’t hold a candle to you.”
“She’s smart.”
“I’m more of a smart ass kind of guy.”
That made me smile. Until I thought of other things that Genevieve beat me in. “She was your fiancé.”
“Without commitment, it’s merely a piece of jewelry.”
I have no idea where it came from, my dark masochist side, I suppose. “Did you get down on one knee and propose?”
“Soraya…”
“I need to know.”
“Why?”
“I have no idea. I just do.”
“I didn’t actually. It was more of a business deal than anything romantic. I took her to Tiffany’s, and she picked out her own ring.”
“Oh.”
“When we split up, Meme didn’t seem too surprised. One day over lunch, she asked me why I hadn’t given Genevieve her engagement ring. The thought had never even occurred to me, to be honest. Meme had given me her ring when I turned twenty-one and told me that it belonged to whomever I eventually gave my heart to. My grandmother’s ring was small and simple. It wasn’t until the relationship had ended and Meme had pointed out the obvious to me that I understood the significance. There was never a question in my mind, given the choice between a small ring that meant a lot to me and a flashy rock, Genevieve would rather have had that rock. And I knew that enough to not give her my grandmother’s ring. But I didn’t stop to think about what that said about who she was.”
“Wow. She sounds like a real fucking bitch.”
Graham laughed. It was good to hear it. “That’s what I love about you, Soraya. You call it like you see it. The first time you did it to me, I was pissed, but also hard as a rock.”
I wrapped my hands around his neck and gave him a dirty grin. “You’re a stuck-up suit who can’t even remember his secretary’s name.”
Graham squinted and then quickly caught on. His lips went to my neck. “Go on.”
“Most of the time, you don’t even notice the people around you.”
“Is that so?” His voice was gravelly, and his mouth nibbled its way up to my ear.
“You think women should just spread their legs for you because of what you look like.”
His hand caressed its way down my body, landing on my bare thigh. He spoke directly into my ear as he nudged my legs open. “Spread your legs for me, Soraya.”
I tried not to. I really did. But that voice…
“Spread for me, Soraya. I need to hear you moan my name.”
“You’re so confident you can…” He lowered his body down the bed, settling his shoulders between my legs. I was already wet, and his warm breath right there shot fire through my body. I quickly spread my legs.
***
BY AFTERNOON, ALL THE CONFIDENCE in our relationship that this morning had instilled was already starting to dissipate. Ida had me running errands for her since lunch time. In line at the bank, the man in front of me was with his daughter. She was probably around the same age as Chloe. Sitting on the seven train on my way to the printer, a couple was seated across from me. Their daughter was holding on to the pole, spinning around and around. It probably wasn’t a profound moment for them, but for me, I saw a happy family. Reminders were everywhere I looked.
After my last errand for the day, I was standing on the platform waiting for my southbound train to arrive. Across the track, the northbound seven arrived. The word next to the circled seven caught my attention. Queens. Without thinking, I hoped on, just as the doors slid closed.
What the hell was I doing? I hadn’t seen him in eight years. For all I knew, he might not even live in Queens anymore. When I exited at the Sixty-First Street Sta
tion, a northbound train was pulling up. Looking across, I considered going back where I’d just came from. I thought about it for so long, that eventually people had to walk around me while I stood frozen in place watching the train pull away.
His house was only about eight blocks from the station. Around the third block, my phone buzzed, and Graham’s name flashed on the screen. My finger lingered over the DECLINE button, but then I remembered what I told him last night. I would be there for him. I wouldn’t avoid him anymore.
“Hey.”
“Hey, gorgeous. How was your day?”
I was standing at the crosswalk waiting for a light to turn green. “Busy. Ida had me running all around the city doing errands.” Just then, the light turned, and I stepped off of the curb. Out of nowhere, a cab pulled up in front of me, less than an inch from my toes. I banged on the trunk of the yellow car. “Hey, asshole. Watch where you’re going!”
“Soraya?”
“Yeah. Sorry. A cabbie almost just ran over my foot.”
“You’re still in Manhattan?”
“Actually, no.”
“Oh. Good. I just finished a meeting in Brooklyn. Where are you? I’ll pick you up, and we can grab some dinner?”
I was quiet for a minute. “I’m not in Brooklyn.”
“Where are you?”
“Queens.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize you were still doing errands.”
“I’m not, actually.” I swallowed. “I’m going to see my father.”
Graham didn’t ask me why I was going; the reason was pretty obvious. We talked for the rest of the walk, and I told him I’d text him when I was done so that we could have dinner. When I hung up, I stopped in my tracks, realizing my father’s house was only two doors down. What was I coming to say?
I had no sense of time as I stood there, but it must have been at least a half- hour that I stared at his home. My emotions were completely out of control, and I seriously had no idea what the hell I was going to say, yet I was sure I needed to do this. Fuck it. I walked to his doorstep, took a deep breath, and knocked. My heart was racing as I waited. When no one came to the door, at first a sense of relief came over me. I was just about to turn and leave when the door opened.
