JUCHE
PART THREE
THE WEEPING MASSES
ADRIA CARMICHAEL
Copyright © 2021 Adria Carmichael
All rights reserved
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
Cover design by: Damonza.com
To King Kim of Choson:
Please stop using your people as slave labor!
Juche Year 83
-
June
CHAPTER 1
I stood pressed against the back wall, stunned.
Were they blaming me for this?
I looked down at the torn, bloody rags covering the bruised limbs of my baby sister.
How could this have happened? Could it have been… Chul? Did he do to Nari what he tried to do to… me? But how? I left him knocked out on the ground up in the mountain… and he was so drunk he could hardly stand… both he and Chang Min! And there is no way she would have wandered all the way up there by herself… right?
Mom and dad gently took off Nari’s clothes and washed her body with the cleanest cloth they could find and the water left in the bucket Young Il used to clean off the soot from the coal mine. Mom sobbed quietly the whole time. When they had finished, Young Il covered her with double quilts - sacrificing his own for her - while mom continued to softly stroke her hair. Nari was already sleeping, but her face was twitching. I imagined her reliving what had happened in horrible nightmares. A piercing pain spread through my chest as my mind raced to make sense of the senseless scene before me.
Maybe… other guards are going around looking for girls to assault. Maybe… that’s what they were talking about under the trees earlier today. Maybe… all of them did it to different girls, like… some kind of twisted competition. Or maybe—
Mom turned to me again, her swollen eyes pulsating with desperation.
“Areum… I demand you tell me what’s going on! You hear me? First, you come home all beaten up… panting like you had been fighting a tiger… and then Nari comes back… like this. What in the Great General’s name happened to you? No lies! You must tell me the truth!”
“I… I…” I tried to gather my thoughts, but they were going about a hundred miles an hour in all directions. “I… I… I don’t know, mom… really! I had a… a problem with a guard… but I handled it… and I got away… that’s all! Nari wasn’t there, I never saw her… not since school… and I… I have no idea what happened to her… I swear on Juche and the immortality of the Great General—”
Mom suddenly gasped, making her big red eyes bulge even further out from their sockets.
“You had a problem… with a guard?” she glared at me. “And you got away? Meaning… you fought him off? You fought with a guard? Oh, Great General… oh, Great General… this is the end…” Mom collapsed her face into her hands just over Nari’s head. “We’re doomed… doomed…“
“No!” I rushed to say. “I mean… he was completely drunk… could hardly stand… I… I don’t even think he’ll remember me, or what happened tomorrow… it’s fine… I think…”
I remembered Su Mi coming to school sometimes with large black circles around her eyes, asking me what we had done the night before. That kind of memory loss always made me worry about her, but for Chul and Chang Min, I hoped exactly that would happen.
But what are the odds of both of them forgetting? And how would they explain Chul’s broken nose and all their bruises? Somebody will have to pay…
Mom continued glaring at me with fiery eyes. Young Il cleared his throat.
“Settle down… there’s nothing we can do about that now,” he said in a long-forgotten fatherly tone. “Let’s just hope you’re right, Areum… maybe it will all blow over—”
“Where did it happen?” mom cut him off. “Where were you?”
“It was… up in the mountains… by the river,” I mumbled.
“In the mountains?” she gasped again. “How on earth did you end up there?”
“Well… the guard told me to follow him, so I did… and we ended up there… I didn’t know what else to do…”
As I spoke the words out loud, I got angry with myself.
How could I have been so stupid!
“Were you alone?”
This time her voice was more controlled, but I could feel the turmoil behind it. I remembered our family rule of avoiding being alone… especially after nightfall.
I nodded.
My face was burning up from shame and indignation.
Mom sighed, spastically shaking her head in a way that scared me. Young Il was now the one sitting with Nari, stroking her hair.
“How… how could you have been so stupid, Areum?” she squeezed out through her tightly pressed together teeth. “How… could you have been so stupid… to put yourself in that situation… to put all of us in this situation… how…?”
“No, I… I… I didn’t know… it’s not my fault! IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” I shrieked.
Panting in a panic with my back pressed against the wall, I suddenly noticed Nari twitching on the ground and was terrified I had woken her up. I looked back at mom and knew she was judging me for this as well. My face felt like it would burst into flames any second.
“I couldn’t have known… I trusted him… I thought that… I—”
“You trusted him?” mom rolled her eyes in complete disbelief. “You trusted… a guard… in here. You trusted… when the first and most important rule is to trust no one… something even an imbecile would understand from the first moment he’d set foot here.”
She continued to shake her head, but her eyes were no longer on me. She was looking at Nari. Her voice was now low and controlled - a level of self-control her many years of acting had taught her - skillfully masking the tidal wave of rage hiding behind it.
“Your carelessness has put yourself and all of us in grave danger, Areum,” she concluded. “Whatever happens to us next is on you… and on you alone.”
“Hey! Hey! Let’s be reasonable here—” dad cut in, waving his arms to defuse the situation, but my anger had already boiled over.
“My carelessness? You think I have put this family in a terrible situation? What about him? What about our so-called father? Your husband? He’s a TRAITOR and a MURDERER!” Mom tried to interrupt, but I didn’t let her. “He‘s the reason we’re here. If it wasn’t for him, none of us would be here… and that guard wouldn’t have assaulted me… and whatever happened to Nari wouldn’t have happened either… so this is on HIM!” I frantically stared at both my parents. “And how about you, Sun Hee…? Do you want us to believe you’ve been married to this monster for so many years, and you didn’t know anything about this? I don’t believe that for a second! You knew! You definitely knew!”
Sun Hee stood up and charged at me, but Young Il stepped in between us.
“Sun Hee… Areum… both of you stop it right now! This is not solving anything. Nari is the victim here, and what we need to do is support her… and we can only do that if we work together… as a family.”
Mortal combat was taking place in the eye contact between my mother and me, but as Young Il put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Sun Hee… please… think of Nari,” she averted
her eyes and without changing the look of rage on her face, she sat back down and resumed caressing Nari’s hair. Young Il turned to me, but I couldn’t take it anymore, so I lay back down on my quilt facing the wall. He didn’t stop me.
Behind me, I heard Young Il joining his wife on the floor. He started humming a soothing lullaby to Nari. At first, he hummed alone but after a while, Sun Hee joined in as well. I had heard that same melody hundreds of times over the years, even though I had no memories of ever being the recipient. It was their go-to lullaby whenever Nari needed soothing… which, despite her age, was more often than not. Unfortunately, it didn’t have any soothing effect on me. It never had. To console myself, I instead took out the Great General pin from under my rag pillow and clenched it in my hand. It helped a little but not much. It had lost most of its power.
Why don’t I feel anything…? Could it be that… my Father - the Great General has abandoned me because of the sins of my parents?
Fortunately, I didn’t need to dwell on this for too long as I, a moment later, was interrupted by a knock on the door, and Mina and Mrs. Choy hurried inside. I remained on my quilt but turned around to see what was going on. Without any formal greetings, Mrs. Choy crouched down to examine Nari’s bruised body. The strong oil lamp she had brought with her lit up the room and forced me to squint. Mina sat down by Nari’s head and sobbed quietly. Nobody paid any attention to me, but today, that didn’t bother me. After finishing her examination, Mrs. Choy put the quilt back over Nari’s body and turned to my parents.
“H-has she been—? Sun Hee’s broken voice turned the room into ice.
As Mrs. Choy nodded, both my parents broke down crying.
“Oh, no… oh, my poor baby girl…”
“She has some nasty bruising down there, but the bleeding has stopped, so I think she will be okay… at least, physically,” Mrs. Choy said in her calm doctor’s voice. “But you need to keep it clean so it doesn’t get infected… and she will need a lot of rest.”
“Thank the Great General,” Sun Hee sobbed. “My poor baby…”
For a long while, my mother’s sobbing was all that was heard in the room apart from the soft crackling of the fire. Finally, Young Il turned to Mrs. Choy.
“And how about her… heart?” he asked. “She has always been so weak… I mean… she has been okay since the surgery, but… will her heart be… okay?”
Mrs. Choy sighed, looking down at Nari, who now was half-awake on her quilt.
“It’s impossible to say for sure… but as long as she doesn’t get any infection, I think she will pull through,” she said. “And the Nari I know isn’t weak… I mean, she has endured so much in her life and she has always persevered… a weak person wouldn’t—”
“She’s strong!” Sun Hee looked up at them with tear-filled, but determined eyes. “She will make it!”
I wasn’t sure if she was talking to them or herself.
After a moment of silence, mom started clanking with the kettle by the fireplace, and shortly after, the strong scent of barley tea filled the room. I watched the four of them sipping it slowly next to Nari - who again was sound asleep - not exchanging more than a few words in a whisper. At one point, Mrs. Choy threw a questioning glance at me, but mom signaled to just leave me be. I was grateful for that.
“If you want, we can stay the night,” Mrs. Choy offered after putting down her empty cup on the floor. “Just in case… to keep her under observation.”
“Thank you, In Sook,” mom shook her head at Mrs. Choy, “but that isn’t necessary… we’ll look after her. Go home and rest… we’ll call you if we need you.”
“Okay… you know where to find us,” Mrs. Choy threw another worried glance at Nari’s twitching face. Her nightmares had, no doubt, returned.
Before leaving, Mina gave Nari a long hug but was careful not to wake her up.
When the door closed behind them, there was nothing left in our house but the ruins of a devastated family, veiled in silent, all-consuming darkness.
CHAPTER 2
Young Il and Sun Hee didn’t sleep that night. Neither did I, but for me, it was not only my worry about Nari that kept me awake. It was also the anger and indignation of having to take the blame… as always. The feeling of complete powerlessness, betrayal, and guilt didn’t help either.
Laying there, listening to the wind howling outside and the wooden walls of our tiny prison within our prison creaking, I played the scenes of the last few hours over and over in my head. I had truly believed Chul was my friend… but now, it was abundantly clear he had just gained my trust to make me vulnerable. He had probably been planning this all along.
How could I have been so naive! He’s just like all the other guards!
But it wasn’t Chul’s true deceitful face that hurt me the most. As always, it was my family. Now, when I needed them more than any other time in my life, they turned against me. Instead of consoling me, they blamed me.
How could I have been so stupid to think now would be any different? How could I have been so stupid to think they actually care about me? It’s all about Nari! Everything has always only been about Nari! And that will never ever, ever change! They’re not my family! They never have been…
My old hatred consumed me once more, and as I closed my eyes, my mind went to the other nine gymnast finalists who had qualified to the Great General’s National Gymnastics Team just a little over a month ago. My real family! I imagined them eating dinner right now after a long and hard - but wonderful - day of jumping, spinning, and twirling through the air. I would have been there with them…
… if my father by blood wasn’t a despicable traitor and a mass murderer.
I could swear I had just closed my eyes for a brief moment, but when I opened them again, there was soft light seeping in through the cracks in the walls and ceiling. Young Il had already left - not even something like this gives you an excuse to stay home from work. Nari lay on her quilt, eyes wide open. Sun Hee was preparing some corn porridge on the fire, which basically was the usual corn soup but with less water. The mere thought of that repulsive sludge made me shudder. It was more filling, sure, but the horrible aftertaste was much harder to ignore in concentrated form.
As I got up, Sun Hee gave me a stern look, showing me she hadn’t forgotten our argument last night. I averted my eyes and went over to Nari. She smiled at me as I put my hand in hers.
“Hey, sis… how do you feel?” I noticed my voice trembled.
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Really… don’t worry about me, Areum.”
Her red eyes, which looked strangely small without her glasses, silently implored me, ‘Please, don’t make a big deal about this!’
“Nari,” I whispered, choosing to ignore her plea. “Who did this to you?”
“No one,” she withdrew her hand and turned to face the wall.
“Breakfast is ready,” Sun Hee handed us a bowl of corn porridge each. I was relieved. Despite the animosity between us, at least she didn’t want me to starve.
“Thank you, Mom,” Nari sat up and took the bowl. Her face was distorted by pain with every tiny movement she made. I felt her pain inside me, too - maybe it was our long-lost twin connection that had finally sparked back to life.
We ate next to each other while Sun Hee got dressed.
“Nari,” I whispered after having forced down half my portion of sludge and needed a break. “Can you please tell me what happened to you last night?”
“It’s nothing,” Nari repeated without looking up from her bowl.
“It’s not nothing… I want to help you.”
“I don’t need any help, Areum! It’s all over now… I have taken care of it. You don’t have to worry anymore.”
“You’re not making any sense… what does that even mean? What don’t I have to worry about?”
Nari put her hand on my knee and looked me deep in the eyes.
“It means that everything is okay now, Areum… you won’t have any more prob
lems with the guards.”
“W-what…? How do you—?”
“Areum,” Sun Hee called me from the other side of the room. “Nari shouldn’t go to school today… she needs to rest—”
“No!” Nari almost shrieked. “I have to go… if I don’t go, they will punish me… I have to—”
“I’ll go and talk with your teacher… hopefully she’ll understand,” Sun Hee ignored Nari’s opinion… as usual. “You said she’s even kinder than your teachers back home, right? I’ll give her a portion of our rice, just in case. Areum… you stay here with your sister. I’ll be back in a few minutes. It’s still early, so we have enough time before work and school starts.”
I nodded. Nari tried to protest, but Sun Hee had already wrapped some rice in a cloth and was heading out the door.
Once alone, I put my hand in Nari’s again, and we stayed like that for a while in silence. I tried to refrain from interrogating her, but in the end, I was unable to resist. I squeezed her hand and looked her dead-serious in the eyes.
“Nari… was it Chul? Did he do this to you? Or… was it one of the other guards? Please… you need to tell me!”
Nari started crying but shook her head without saying anything.
“Please tell me, Nari! Who did this to you?”
“Just… just leave it alone, Areum… it’s all over now, I promise, just… leave it alone, please… you need to promise me!”
“I… I can’t” I said. “What they did to you—”
“They didn’t do anything to me, okay! I did what I needed to do to keep us safe… to keep you safe… that’s all… so I’m begging you… please leave this alone! Please, Areum!”
“You’re not making any sense, Nari… what do you mean that you—?”
At that very moment, Sun Hee stormed through the door, completely out of breath.
“Nari… I’ve talked to Miss Ae. She was sympathetic to your situation… she will cover for you today… she really is a nice person, she didn’t even accept the rice. So just stay here and rest. If you’re strong enough, you can go tomorrow, but if not… you must get a note from the camp doctor. Otherwise, she can’t protect you… so let’s see tonight how you feel, okay?” The notion of going to Doctor Death sent a chill down my spine, but I didn’t say anything. “Okay, I have to hurry. I can’t be late for work… and you have to go now, too, Areum.”
The Weeping Masses: A Young Adult Dystopian Survival Saga (Juche - Part 3) Page 1
