“I can do it,” I said, but I didn’t move.
“I’ll start,” she pulled herself up to her feet. “You’d better rest… you’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”
“No… I’ll help,” I mumbled but still didn’t get up. Above my closed eyes, I felt my swollen, cracked eyebrow sting and throb.
“Have you moved the rice?” Nari asked me from the corner where our storage pit was.
“No,” I answered, only half-awake.
In my semiconscious state, I heard Nari moving things around but didn’t react.
“I can’t find it,” she panted.
“It must be there,” I mumbled. “Maybe mom moved it.”
I was becoming annoyed. I just wanted to lay there in peace, not to move, not to answer questions… not to talk to anyone. I heard Nari moving more things around. The ruckus bothered my pulsating ears.
“Can you please keep it down?” I mumbled impatiently.
“It’s not here,” Nari shrieked as she threw the loose floorboards on the ground with a bang, waking me up from my half-slumber. Her voice was high-pitched and distressed.
I opened my eyes, sending a stronger flash of pain from my eyebrow to the whole left side of my face. I sat up by rolling to the side of my body that was less sore.
“Let me see,” I grunted as I crawled over to her. An intense pain stabbed the right side of my ribcage every time I moved my arms. When I finally arrived, I was furious at Nari for making me move from the semi-comfort of my quilt. I looked into the hole in the ground.
It was indeed empty.
I then looked through the pile of clothes in the corner where we kept the rice when we had first arrived, but it wasn’t there either.
Now, I was really worried.
“Do you think they hid it?”
“Mom and dad?” Nari looked at me, her eyes in panicking disbelief. “Without telling us?”
I started digging through everything in the room, which wasn’t much - The night blankets, the rag piles we used for pillows, the pile of dirty clothes in the other corner, the prisoner uniforms, which mom still hadn’t fixed and we’d never worn. I looked in the pit again.
It was still empty.
“It’s not here,” I panted.
My panic was now rampant. I stared at Nari. The features of her shocked face were accentuated by the shadows created by the last rays of sun seeping through the cracks in the ceiling.
“Great General,” she said. “Areum… we have no food!”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I pressed my fingertips against my aching temples. “No… they must have just moved it somewhere… or hid it somewhere… there must be a logical explanation for this.”
“What if… what if somebody… stole it?” Nari’s whisper was barely audible.
“No, no, no,” I started to frantically look through the same places a third time. “Don’t even think that, Nari… it must have been mom or dad who moved it… it has to be…”
Nari joined in to help me again.
After a fourth - and after that, a fifth - meaningless search, we sat down on our quilts and stared at each other.
“Areum,” Nari said in a trembling voice. “You know what this means—”
“No, Nari,” I stopped her. “It doesn’t mean anything because it’s just mom or dad who needed to hide it somewhere else… for some reason. Maybe they knew there would be a surprise inspection? Dad will be home soon… he’ll show us where it is. Everything will be fine!”
It must be like that! IT MUST BE!
“Okay,” Nari whimpered, but I could see that the fear in her swollen, red eyes had changed… she now looked at me like I was losing my mind. “But Areum, we have to be realistic… it might be the case that it’s st—”
“NO,” I shrieked. “No! Don’t even say it! Anyway, we still have dad’s ration and half our ration for today… let’s cook that, okay! Dad will come home soon and sort everything out… he’ll show us the new hiding place and we’ll feast on rice tonight!”
“Okay,” Nari averted her eyes. I had seen her doing that many times before when she thought engaging in an argument would be meaningless and only escalate emotions. I used to consider it a sign that I had won… but not this time.
We made a soup of the barely edible corn mixture and half-rotten cabbage. Fortunately, we still had a little salt and pepper left, so we could make it taste almost like real food. But only almost. And it didn’t prevent the putrid smell of boiling mold from permeating the room.
When the soup was ready and the two of us sat down to eat, the door opened. Dad came in.
“Dad,” Nari gasped without greeting him first, “where have you put the rice?”
Dad collapsed on his quilt and let out a loud sigh.
“What are you talking about, Nari?” he mumbled, his eyes already closed.
“The rice, Dad… where have you put it?”
She put down her bowl and crawled over to him. Dad reluctantly opened his tired eyes and gave her a confused look.
“What do you mean… put?” he asked.
“The rice… you have hidden it somewhere, right? Where is it?” I urged.
Dad virtually jumped up from his quilt and removed the floorboards over the storage pit. He looked down into the dark emptiness with bulging eyes.
“Where’s the rice?” he shrieked.
Nari and I looked at him, our hearts sunk to our stomachs.
“We—”
“WHERE’S THE RICE?” he screamed.
“W-we don’t know,” I said under my breath. “D-didn’t you move it? Or… was it mom?”
Dad started going around the small room like a tornado, lifting every item we already had lifted at least five times. Then - just as we had - he went back to look into the empty pit again. He didn’t believe his eyes, so he started to desperately feel every inch of the hole with his hands. The parts of his face that were not black from soot went from ash gray to white.
“WHERE IS IT?” he screamed at us again. “WHERE IT IS?”
Nari burst into tears where she sat in the corner.
Oh, Great General… the rice is actually… gone!
Finally, the realization dawned upon dad as well, and he sat down on his quilt, his eyes and mouth wide open in a blank expression.
“We have been robbed,” he concluded.
“D-do you think mom could have…?” Nari grasped for straws through her sobs.
“No… no… she couldn’t have… it’s—”
“It’s stolen,” I finished his sentence. “That means it’s stolen… we have just lost all our food.”
Dad couldn’t hold back his tears and buried his face in his knees.
As always, I felt repulsion seeing a grown man weeping, and even more so when that grown man was my once big and strong father. Again, the familiar wave of hatred swept over me.
This is all his fault! If it wasn’t for him, none of us would be here. It’s him! He has destroyed all of our lives, and now we’re going to starve to death… ALL BECAUSE OF HIM!
“There is one more thing,” Nari said in an increasingly trembling voice.
Young Il looked up at her with teary blood-shot eyes, unwilling to believe there could be even more bad news.
“We… I mean, I, couldn’t fill my quota today,” Nari continued almost in a whisper. “Not even with Areum’s help… it was just so hot…” Young Il wiped his tears and looked at us, horrified. He first now noticed our bruised faces and gasped. “There was a fight and… an officer came, and… they punished us by cutting our rations for… for two weeks.”
Young Il looked like he was about to explode, either with fury or with more tears, but instead, he just fell to his back without making a sound. All we could hear was his shallow breathing.
“Dad?” Nari whined, throwing me a scared glance.
“It’s okay,” he mumbled from his quilt. “It’ll be fine, it’s okay… it’ll be okay…”
He turned around to face t
he wall. His mumbling continued.
“It’ll be fine… it’ll be okay… it’s okay.”
Nari and I looked at each other, but neither of us knew what to do or what to say, so we just observed our father in silence. The only thing that could be heard over his quiet mumbling was Nari’s soft sobbing and the sporadic crackling of the slow fire.
“A-are… aren’t you going to eat, Dad?” Nari asked hesitantly after what seemed like an eternity.
There was no answer apart from the repetitive mumbling of a broken man.
CHAPTER 26
We stayed like that until mom came home late at night, after which the whole spectacle repeated itself once more with the desperate screaming and frantic search of the room. Dad didn’t move an inch during her whole frenzy. It was horrible to watch but even worse was losing the last tiny sliver of hope that maybe - just maybe - it was her who had hidden the rice in a new place… a hope I hadn’t even realized I was clinging to until it died without any chance of being resurrected.
Mom sat, like dad had a few hours earlier, on her quilt with her eyes and mouth wide open.
“I’m sorry…” Nari cried.
“No, Nari—” she started, but then something clicked inside her. She sat up straight with a jolt.
“It’s them,” she growled. “It’s them… it must have been them! Great General… I should have never trusted them… I’ve seen how they looked at our rice…”
She stood up, oozing fury from her pores.
Nari stood up as well, but in terror.
“W-who are you talking about, Mom?” she asked, desperately praying she didn’t already know the answer.
“The Choys,” mom panted with a crazed look in her eyes. “It was the Choys… that sneaky old woman… always sweet in her words, but just a lousy thief underneath it all. Young Il, get up! We’re going over there. NOW! We’re taking back our food!”
“NO!” Nari screamed. “No… it’s not them… I promise you… it can’t be them… Mina is my best friend… and Mrs. Choy has gone out of her way to help me… you know that—”
Mom grabbed Nari’s shoulders and looked her dead serious in the eyes.
“You don’t have friends here, Nari,” she spat. “And she said it herself the first time she came over for dinner… don’t trust anyone in here, not even us!” mom was wheezing instead of breathing. “She said that, and… and… hunger makes people do terrible things… crazy things… even to the people they love. But we’ll fix this… mom and dad will fix it… just wait here with your sister.”
“NO, MOM… NO!” Nari cried. “It’s not them… I’m sure of it… it’s not them… please, don’t go over there!”
Dad stood up, more hunched than usual, and looked distraught at his wife and his daughter fighting.
“Nari,” mom said. “If we don’t get back the rice, we will starve. Do you understand? We will starve! I’m doing this to save our lives.”
“But it’s not them,” Nari cried. “I’m one hundred percent certain… it’s not them! Mom, please…!”
Mom rushed past Nari and opened the door. Nari grabbed her arm and pulled her with all her might - which wasn’t much. Mom pushed her so she fell back down to the ground where I caught her before she hurt herself.
“STOP INTERFERING!” mom screamed. “WE’RE DOING THIS FOR YOU! Now, you stay here with your sister until we come back!” She grabbed dad’s limp arm and dragged him out of the house, slamming the door behind her so hard the floorboards shook.
“I… I can’t,” Nari whimpered. “I have to go after them.”
“Come on, Nari,” I said. “Don’t be stupid… you’ll only make things worse.”
“No,” Nari said. “No… I just can’t…”
She jumped up to her feet, and before I had a chance to react, she had also disappeared out the door.
“For Juche’s sake…” I sighed and got up on my feet as well.
There was nothing else left for me to do, so I opened the door and followed her into the night.
The temperature had dropped significantly since I came home, but the night air under the star-filled sky was still uncomfortably humid.
I caught up with Nari in no time, but I didn’t try to stop her. I knew the only way to get her home would be to carry her kicking and screaming, and the Kim Family probably couldn’t survive two loud scenes in one night… maybe not even one.
When we reached the road where the Choys lived, I heard mom screaming at the top of her lungs in front of her house. Dad stood behind her like a scared little boy. A bunch of people looked out from their houses to see what all fuss was about. Some had even ventured beyond the safety of their walls and come out into the street.
As we approached the house, Mrs. Choy had just stepped outside in her nightclothes, looking almost as furious as mom. I could see Mina’s scared face peeking out from behind the door.
“GIVE BACK OUR FOOD,” mom bellowed at Mrs. Choy. “GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Mrs. Choy yelled back at her. “And what the hell are you doing screaming in the middle of the street? You’ll get a hundred guards over here—”
“GOOD!” mom screamed. “Then they will arrest you… you pathetic, worthless THIEF… just because you can’t feed your own daughter, you have no right to steal from us… I always knew you were acting suspiciously when you were at our house… I knew you couldn’t be trusted—”
“Stop!” Mrs. Choy commanded in a low, but firm, voice. “Are you saying your food was stolen? Your… rice?” She threw a confused glance at dad, but he just looked down at the ground with a blank expression.
“Don’t… play… innocent!” mom growled like a rabid dog. “I know it was you… you’re the only one who knew about it… let me in! I’ll find it—”
“You’re not coming in here,” Mrs. Choy put out a firm hand in front of her. “I truly sympathize with you if your rice has been stolen, but it wasn’t us… I assure you of that.”
Mom hit her hand away and stepped forward.
“Prove it!” she growled, almost drooling with rage. “Let me in! SHOW ME!”
Mrs. Choy put up her hand again. This time, it was trembling, but it still didn’t waver.
“I’m not letting you into our house like that,” she said firmly. ”You need to calm down, RIGHT NOW!”
Mom stopped for a second, and I prayed she had finally come to her senses, but the next moment - which felt like it happened in slow-motion and extremely fast at the same time - mom clenched her fist and with a hideous roar she punched Mrs. Choy right in the face, making her crash down to the ground. The whole world gasped, and I gasped with it. Mina ran out screaming to embrace her fallen mother.
“NOOO!” Nari also screamed and ran in between mom and Mrs. Choy. With her face determined like I had never seen before, she put her hand up in the same way as Mrs. Choy had. Mom stared at her, surprise and fury shooting from her crazed, bulging eyes.
“Stop it, Mom! You have to stop it,” she cried, but not in her usual weak way. “You’re not thinking clearly… just stop!”
“I’m thinking perfectly clearly,” mom panted, but she didn’t move forward. “If they didn’t do it… then let them prove it!”
“We don’t have to prove anything to you,” Mrs. Choy spat from the ground, holding her bruised jaw.
Suddenly, there was a ruckus around us, and all our spectators disappeared back into their houses. I looked over my shoulder into the darkness and saw the contours of three guards armed with machine guns running toward us from the main road.
“YOU THERE, STOP IT RIGHT THERE!” they screamed.
“Sun Hee… Dear… come on, we should get out of here,” dad pleaded.
Mom ignored him and instead turned to the approaching guards, panting with fury.
“These lousy thieves have stolen our food,” she yelled at them with marginal control over her voice, pointing at Mrs. Choy on the ground.
When the gu
ards reached us, I saw Chang Min was one of them, and my heart dropped to my stomach. By reflex, I took several steps back. He saw me too and gave me a crooked smile and a wink, which sent shivers down my spine. I averted my eyes as I was transported back in time to the clearing up in the mountains, where Chang Min’s alcohol-reeking breath stung my nose as he pinned my half-naked body down to the ground with his superior strength—
“Explain yourselves, prisoners,” commanded the senior guard, whom I had never seen before.
Mom made an effort to control her anger with marginal success.
“These… people… have stolen our food… Sir,” she panted. “If you just go in there, you’ll see.”
“Food?” the senior guard repeated, arching his eyebrows. “What kind of food?”
Mom suddenly looked taken aback.
“R…rice,” she said. “T-two bags of… rice.”
“Wow,” the senior guard looked back at Chang Min and the other guard, his face filled with malevolent glee. “We have ourselves a wealthy prisoner here. Two full bags of rice, you say… well, that’s more than I’ve ever had,” he chuckled. “Imagine that… a traitor of the nation whose life was graciously spared by our Father - the Great General and were given the gift of redemption through blood, sweat and tears in our humble facility… and here she sits on a hidden treasure, having more than any of us re-education officers get in two years… maybe even three… isn’t that spectacular, huh?”
All the anger disappeared from mom’s face and was replaced with pure terror. But she continued to relentlessly glare at Mrs. Choy.
“And how about you, prisoner?” he asked Mrs. Choy, who was still sitting on the ground with her hand over her bruised jaw. “Is it true that you have stolen this treasure?”
I looked at Chang Min, who was standing behind him. He was, as always, enjoying the show with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.
Mrs. Choy stood up and defiantly crossed her arms.
“No, we have not,” she returned mom’s hateful glare. “Neither I nor my daughter have laid a finger on their food… we have never even seen it!”
“I see,” the senior guard observed with amusement the hateful exchange of glares between the two women on the street, as well as the scared hunched man who cowardly looked down at the ground next to them. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to take a look for ourselves. Ready for some treasure hunting, boys?”
The Weeping Masses: A Young Adult Dystopian Survival Saga (Juche - Part 3) Page 21
