“Yeah, baby. I do. It’s just…I think it’s beautiful that we have this bond, that we had it before we ever knew we had it. I love you, Sage. I love you with my mind, body, and soul. I will always love you, no matter what, but you’ve got to believe that and stop doubting how I feel about you, stop doubting that what we have is real.”
“What you just told me about that night at the bridge? I’ve never told anyone about that, not even Jo or Bridgette. There’s no way you could’ve known. It doesn’t make sense that you know. But you know. You saved me twice, three times with the club thing. I believe you love me. I believe you always will…and fuck Gavin and anyone else who tries to tear me down. Fuck ‘em all.”
“There you go, baby. There you go, and hey, when I tell you that you’re beautiful, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Hands down.”
“Thank you, Neil. I believe you. I really do.”
“Good, now block that motherfucker.”
“Yes, sir.”
23
I was laughing like I was at a comedy show. This Ryan dude was crazy! He’d actually run outside, and screamed, “You think you know a person and then they do this!” after his wife chose the obviously wrong group. This was what I needed to take my mind off this mess with Emery. She was still calling and texting me with that bullshit.
“Which would you choose?” I asked Sage, who was on the sofa next to me cracking up, too.
“I’m scared to say,” she said.
“I know you playing! Come on, now! You would really pick Color Me Badd over Jodeci?! Please say it ain’t so!”
“I mean…”
“Baby, for real?!” I shrieked.
“What Jodeci got that competes with I Wanna Sex You Up, Neil?”
“Shit, what Color Me Badd got besides I Wanna Sex You Up?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question.”
“Baby, are you serious? They probably got unreleased shit that’s better than that! Hell, it’s probably some stuff they threw away that sounds better than that song! K-Ci could sing while on the toilet taking a dump and it would sound better than I Wanna Sex You Up!”
“See, you can’t name anything.”
“You have got to be joking! Forever My Lady, Come and Talk to Me, Stay, Lately. I could go on.”
“None of that is as good as I Wanna Sex You Up.”
I turned my head, looking around the room.
“What are you looking for?”
“Some cameras, Ashton Kutcher, anything to tell me I’m being Punk’d, because I know good and got-damn well you are not serious right now!”
“I am serious!”
My mouth fell open. “I gotta punish your ass for this. You know what? I’m cutting you off. No more Superdick for you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Negro, please. You ain’t went a night without diving in my coochie since we’ve been married. I don’t believe you for a minute.”
“Shit, I’m ready to dive in it right now.”
“You’re so damn silly. Hey, thanks for watching YouTube with me.”
“No problem. I love watching YouTube now. They got all kinds of woke stuff on there. And anyway, I’m tryna make sure you ain’t cyber-cheating on me.”
“Through YouTube?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t none of those men on YouTube call me their rib, probably because they can’t see me through their cameras, but…”
“Oh, you like when I call you my rib?”
“Uh-huh…it makes me horny.”
“Then I better do something about that.”
*****
“You comfortable?” I asked. We were sitting side by side on the floor of the patio, facing the direction of the rising sun.
Sage nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“Okay, close your eyes and breathe naturally. Don’t try to control it, just let it take its own rhythm.”
“Okay.”
“As you breathe, try not to think about anything and simply listen.”
“To what?”
“Everything and nothing.”
“Huh?”
“Just…be. Exist in stillness, and let the Creator talk to you. Try not to intentionally think about or listen for anything.”
“Um, okay…”
Twenty minutes later, I opened my eyes and gently rubbed my wife’s arm. “Baby…”
“Hmmm?” she hummed.
“It’s time for the affirmations now.”
With her eyes still closed, her “okay,” came out on a sigh. Then her eyes popped open and she looked at me. “Wait, the what?”
“The affirmations. Stuff I tell myself every morning after I meditate. Positive stuff. Empowering declarations.”
“Okay, show me,” she said.
“All right.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I am a king. I am strong. My strength comes from those who came before me. I am whole, healthy, and free. I will not conform to the ways of my enemies.” I opened my eyes and dipped my head toward her. “Your turn.”
“You learned to do that in rehab?” she asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“What you said…you made it up?”
“Yeah, that was what was in my spirit.”
“So I just make something up, too?”
“You say what’s in your heart and soul, what you feel the need to declare. What you’re doing is speaking things that you want to be true about yourself aloud, whether you feel that they are true right now or not. Saying it helps you manifest it.”
With uncertainty etched into her face, she gave me a little nod and closed her eyes. “Um…I am beautiful. I am whole. I am enough. Everything I do is successful. I…I can’t fail. I won’t fail to make my dreams come true.” She released a breath, opened her eyes, and smiled. “How was that?”
“That was great, baby, and you know what? You done already manifested most of that, because you are beautiful, you are enough, and you have succeeded at making me love you.”
“You always know the right things to say.”
“I just say what’s in my heart, baby.”
“Thank you.”
“No…thank you.”
24
My tears wouldn’t stop, and no matter how many times I was told everything would be okay, I just wasn’t sure.
“Aaaayah! Wipe your tears! We’ll be fine!” my papa soothed, rocking me in his arms. “Get on Up…”
I knew they would be fine, felt that in my soul. They were going to stay with one of my aunts and her husband in Nigeria for a while. They’d be with family. I, on the other hand, would have to live with my parents across the world when I was used to them being across town from me. What if I had a baby? How in the hell was I supposed to have a baby without my mother? And what would I do without being able to taste her cooking whenever the mood hit me? What if I just needed a hug from my daddy? My daddy gave the best hugs.
Those thoughts opened a new spring in my eyes and ushered in a fresh crop of tears. The US was my home. I was sure of that, and experiencing life with Neil showed me that staying was the right decision, the best decision for me. But the idea of being separated from my parents by ocean and land was truly heartbreaking and unfair as hell.
Fuck Forty-five and Forty-six and Forty-seven, too. Fuck the whole damn stupid-ass government.
I kissed my father’s cheek, then released him, moving to my tearful mother as my sister fell into my father’s arms. My sister and I were like day and night, nothing alike. And we had never been very close, because she always had a problem with my spontaneity and loudness, but in that moment, I could tell our hearts held identical pain.
I hugged my mother tightly, shut my eyes, said a silent prayer for her and my father’s safety, and then backed away, feeling Neil’s body against my back, his warm hands on my shoulders.
“You take care of her, Neil. Keep her happy,” my mother said, her voice thick with emotion.
“That’s my g
oal in life,” he assured her. “Can’t tell you how much I love your daughter.”
“Oh, it shows. It shows,” Ma said, wearing a weak smile.
A few more hugs and tears later, Neil and I were leaving the airport, and my parents were leaving the country.
With my eyes on the scenery outside my windshield, I said, “Yeah, I’m here now,” into the phone.
“You sure you don’t need any backup? I can be there in like thirty minutes,” Nolan replied.
“Naw, man…I got this.”
“If you say so. Don’t get your ass arrested.”
“Man, I ain’t stupid.”
“Again, if you say so.”
I ended the call and waited, using the information the GOAT of connects had given me. I swear, Nolan knew everybody. No joke.
It took forever for him to finally come out of the building, but then again, I was early. The PI Nolan hooked me up with said dude took his lunch break at 12:30 every day he worked. He also provided me with his schedule and a picture of his car and license plates, so I knew his sorry ass was there, at a damn grocery store, a grocery store his parents owned but had his ass working as a bagger in. I guess that was all they trusted his dumb ass to do. According to the information I’d been given, this asshole couldn’t even be bothered to finish high school and job-hopped like it was his profession.
I might’ve been a fuck-up on many levels, but this fool was just pathetic.
When I spotted him heading to his bright yellow Corvette, I jumped out of my truck and rushed the few feet to him. “Aye!” I yelled.
He looked up and around, finally settling his eyes on me, and the closer I got to him, the wider his eyes grew.
As he fumbled with the door handle, I stepped into his personal space. “You recognize me from the pictures my wife been posting of us?” I asked.
“Look, I don’t want any trouble.”
“Naw, man…that’s exactly what you want, sending that bullshit to my rib. Looks to me like you were searching for the worst trouble, talking that shit about her paying me to marry her. With a pussy like hers? You must be fucking crazy. So let me make this clear to you, and I need you to overstand this shit: Sage is my wife, my motherfucking queen. It’s my job to protect her honor, and if you even consider contacting her again, I’ma put my foot so far up your ass, it’s gon’ get lodged in your got-damn esophagus. You will be shitting my royal DNA for fucking decades! I do not play about her. Point blank, period. I will fuck you all the way up!” I didn’t scream, kept my voice low and lethal.
“I thought she cheated on me, man! You two got married real quick after we broke up!” He had his hands raised like I was robbing him, and he’d backed up to the point that I thought he was about to climb on top of the car. “Shit, one day she was at my house sucking my dick, trying to get me to marry her, and a few days later, I’m seeing shit on Instagram about her wedding coming up in like two weeks! So I thought she paid you. The fuck was I supposed to think?! Then I found out you were Big South’s brother, and I was just confused.”
I can’t lie. That shit hit me like a damn rock being dropped from an overpass, had my eyes all over the place. Now I understood how deep her desperation ran and why she felt hopeless enough to consider jumping off that bridge. When I lifted my eyes to that piece of shit again, I thought about him letting her suck his dick and then still refusing to marry her despite the fact that she was his woman and had lived with him.
He let her suck his dick and still didn’t help her.
He fucking humiliated her. He was still humiliating her.
Yeah, I was going to have to beat his ass. There was no way I wouldn’t, but as I balled my fist up and bowed back to fuck him up, someone grabbed my arm.
“Naw, bruh. Not today.”
Motherfucking Nolan.
“Aye, man…let me go!” I said through clenched teeth.
“Nope,” Nolan answered.
“Got damn, you two look alike!” this fool yelled.
“Nigga, I just saved your life. Leave!” Nolan advised, and Gavin’s ho’ ass jumped in that car and took off.
Shaking my head, I snatched away from Nolan and headed to my truck. “Man, you should’ve let me fuck him up!”
“And get your fresh-out-of-rehab ass arrested?” Nolan said.
“I been out for almost six months!”
“But you been married, what? Five months? You got a new wife, and you tryna get your ass locked up away from her?”
“He needs his ass kicked, Nole!”
“That’s all you had to say. I’ll take care of it just like I took care of that Emery situation. He won’t know what hit him, and you won’t have shit to do with it. At least not directly. How is it gon’ look for you to kick that dude’s ass, Neil?”
“Like it looked when Ev whooped Bugz’s ass!”
“Yeah, well…you ain’t got Ev’s money, and you know you don’t want him helping you any more than he already has!”
I leaned against my truck and muttered, “Shit.”
“Yeah, so go home to your wife and chill. I got this.”
Through a sigh, I said, “A’ight, man.”
25
My eyes were stretched wide as I stood in the middle of the space. When I knew I was marrying Neil, there were a lot of things running around in my head, like how kind he was to help me when I needed it most and how at least he wasn’t creepy. I was fine with sleeping in his guest room, had plans to keep hustling like I always do, save my money, and be ready to start life on my own once he divorced me, because this thing was supposed to be fake. But Neil was real. His love and concern for me was real. And this damn space he leased for my business was so real that I couldn’t speak to even say “thank you” to him.
“Y-you like it?” he asked, as I stood in the middle of the floor and stared. “I know it’s not huge, but the lighting is good, and you got lots of windows. It was a small art gallery before. And since it’s in the same strip mall as my book store, I thought maybe we could have lunch together from time to time. And shit, this property is black-owned. You know me…I couldn’t pass it up.”
My eyes finally found my fine-ass, handsome-ass, sexy-ass, loving-ass husband. “I love it. I just…I don’t know what to say…or how to thank you. I would give you some head, but I just did that last night, and that doesn’t seem like a sufficient thank you anyway. I…I love you.”
He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me to him. “I love you, too, baby. Now you have no excuse to be carrying your ass to the hood and them damn strip clubs.”
“Neil, I stopped going to those places when you asked me to.”
“I know, but just in case you feel like backsliding, you won’t have a reason to. Plus, you’ll be close to me in case you wanna take a break and thank me, if you know what I mean. Shit, you could thank me right now if you really want to. I ain’t gonna stop you from showing me your gratitude.”
“Oh, really? So you want me to put my mouth on you?”
He grinned down at me. “Helllllll, yeah.”
I dropped to a squat, watched as he freed himself from his jeans and underwear, and I thanked the living hell out of him right there in a dark corner of my new makeup salon, and when I was done thanking him, he thanked me right back.
I was so proud of my wife; I couldn’t stop smiling. After I handed her the lease I’d paid up, she quickly went to work furnishing the place, and had now been doing business in The Beatdown by Sage McClain for a solid week. The place looked good with its all-white decor—white chairs, including the two makeup chairs, white coffee table and couches in the waiting area, paintings of white flowers in gold frames. Sage really had a thing for the color white. I’d come home from the studio one evening to find that she’d bought a white bedding set for our bed. I liked it, and it did look better than the dark set I had on there.
So, the studio…Ev had me working on some tracks for a new rapper he was producing, the first act on his secret label, which he was going t
o reveal soon. He might have been retiring from rapping, but I knew better than to believe he’d ever stop working. That shit was in his DNA. That, and taking care of those he loved.
“Awwwwww!” the women in the packed waiting area said, as I stepped through the front doors of Sage’s place with a bouquet of roses in hand.
Sage was busy working on a client, and when she turned to see what the commotion was about, nearly dropped her makeup brush. “Neil?! What are you doing here? Are those for me?”
As I leaned in to kiss her, I said, “Who else, baby?”
Another refrain of “awwwwws.”
“Thank you, baby!” she squealed, as she hugged me.
“You’re welcome,” I said into her ear. “I’ma fuck you until you beg for mercy when you get home tonight.”
“If you don’t stop…” she whispered.
“Oh, you don’t want me to do it?”
“Don’t be stupid,” she said under her breath, then raised her voice, and added, “Let me walk you out. I’ll be right back, ladies.”
Once we were outside the glass storefront of her place, she lifted on her toes, kissed me, and said, “Thank you for the flowers, but don’t ever come up in my place of business when it’s full of women wearing THOT clothes again.”
“Jogging pants and a t-shirt is THOT clothes?” I asked, grinning hard.
“With a penis like yours? Yes. Love you, see you at home.”
“Love you, too.”
Superdick: You still at work? When you coming home?
Me: When it’s time for me to close. I ain’t leaving and missing out on these walk-ins.
Superdick: I’m horny.
Me: I know, but I hooked you up before I left this morning. If you’d gone to your store, we could’ve gotten busy in your office.
Superdick: Shit, I’m leaving now. Call you when I get to my office.
I rolled my eyes and relaxed in the makeup chair. Business was just as good as it’d always been. Shoot, even better since I was getting lots of walk-ins wanting to test me out and see what I had to offer. And my regular customers loved my spot. Having a salon was a lot easier than having to drive all over the place to work, so I was happy Neil had sense enough to lease the space for me.
Let Me Free You (McClain Brothers Book 4) Page 13
