by Z. Allora
He needed to stop staring at the rainbow wheel of possibilities for answers.
His grandfather had been right; Daiki turned to art when things got too real.
How to decorate a room for Sage? Daiki had always migrated toward soothing shades since he didn’t want to interfere with his art. Had he been living behind a filter that only let certain tints in? Was he ready for…? He needed to stop hiding.
After meeting Sage, he’d found having brilliant, vibrant colors didn’t diminish his art but enhanced his creativity and gave it new direction.
Although not caring about color and its impact on a space, well, that was a crime. Choosing one said a lot about a person. “Wait, Sage. Um, you don’t have an opinion?”
“No, I trust you. You know what I like.”
A distant “I win” from Zen echoed in the empty apartment.
Trust. Sage trusts me. Maybe it was a small thing, but having the trust of someone he’d only met—last week, though it seemed like so much longer—was an incredible gift.
Pushing aside all the emotions that started swirling, Daiki cleared the noise and saw tubes of paint. Maybe one shade wasn’t enough for Sage. He had brought a rainbow into Daiki’s world. “How about a kaleidoscope of color?”
“I like that.”
Pleased, Daiki nodded. He could do the rainbow, like Sage’s wings. “Your room should be a haven as well as a reminder of your mission.”
“Our room,” Sage added with a grin.
Daiki sputtered but then remembered one of Sage’s videos. “Wait, do rainbows annoy you?”
Sage pushed some of Daiki’s hair out of his eyes. “No, only when advocacy stops there.”
“Oh, okay. So, a multitude of colors….” Daiki flipped through the comforters and decided he’d match the furniture accordingly.
Picking one that looked like a rainbow rained on the bedding, Sage asked, “Do you think a king bed would fit?”
“I… I….” Images of what they could do on a bed that big flooded his thoughts. Many of his sexual fantasies threatened to tackle him.
“I bet it will. What do you think for the living room?” Sage changed the subject, possibly out of mercy, which Daiki appreciated since fainting from lack of oxygen to the brain would be bad.
Good. Safe subject. “Since the apartment is an open design—the kitchen is all white with stainless—that color scheme could be echoed in here. A mirror against this wall with a huge flat-screen behind one of the corner sections, along with any electronics or gaming consoles.”
“Nice, like a secret panel.” Sage chuckled.
Daiki could see it all. “White sofas and chairs in a durable leather that can be easily moved against the wall. I saw the book had silver and mother-of-pearl cabinets, and accent tables with shallow profiles. I’ll order the general kitchen package, which would include all-white china, glasses, utensils, pots, and cooking things. As well as bathroom sets and towels for each of the guys matching their bedrooms.”
“Sounds great.” Sage pointed to the wall where the sofa would be. “And for here, maybe you could make a picture of the band?”
“Yes, I’d love to.”
“EVERYTHING LOOKS great. Take a break and sit with me so I won’t be lonely.” Sage pulled Daiki to one of the apartment’s new love seats and sat with him, keeping close against his side.
“We are all here, Sage,” Haru snarked.
“Right, but he’s the only one that matters to Sage.” Zen held his hand palm out. “No need to deny it to save our broken idol hearts.”
Daiki grinned and shook his head. Sparks of relief flicked through him. Was that the band’s way of telling him they accepted his relationship with Sage…?
Zen kicked back on the love seat next to Wayuu. “Well, that was an impressive day.”
Wayuu shifted away, putting space between them.
Sage gave a single clap. “Okay, let’s discuss the practice schedule.”
“What time do people wake up?” Haru asked.
“I’m up early, but I’m good working my schedule around everyone else. As long as I get some time with my sister, I’m good.” Zen edged a bit closer to Wayuu.
Wayuu didn’t move away, kept his gaze focused on Daiki, but smiled just a little.
Haru shrugged and said, “I usually sleep late after a show, but otherwise I can set an alarm. Ichika is usually up early.”
“How early are we talking?” Sage traced his finger along the embroidered tiger design on Daiki’s jeans, reminding him of how Sage preferred they start their day.
“Let’s say ten… thirty?” Zen stared at Wayuu as if he were trying to read his mind.
Wayuu nodded. “Sounds good to me.”
Sage said, “Great. Every day except Saturday we’ll practice. Anything else we want to discuss?”
“Since everyone is here,” Daiki said, deciding now was a good time, “I wanted to touch base with you on the manga.”
All heads turned toward him.
How was this his life now? He pushed away the fact that two of these guys were idols and the other two were on their way to becoming ones. And best of all, he and Sage…. “Um, as I get into drawing more of the storyboards, I’ll ask for your input. I want you to be comfortable with how you’re represented on the page.”
Haru cocked his head. “Hey, aren’t you the artist? Most artists don’t want anyone impacting their creativity.”
Daiki wanted to gently correct this opinion, which was held by most people. “While artists may be free to draw anything, it doesn’t mean we should. Creativity and the freedom to use it doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences.”
Sage tilted his head and stared at him. “The contract gives you basically total discretion.”
Daiki had made sure of that, but he glanced around the group. “But this band is made up of real people who live in the world beyond my manga. I want to be careful how I’m representing each of you. Visibility—being seen—is an incredible concept, but some things are private and aren’t meant to be shared.”
“Makes sense,” Zen said.
“Thank you. I—” Wayuu jumped when his phone buzzed.
Even from where Daiki sat, he could see the upset on Wayuu’s face as he stared at the screen.
“Who is it?” Zen asked.
Wayuu shook his head and sent the call to voicemail. As soon as a beep alerted him there was a message, the cell phone rang again. He directed that call to his messages as well. Another alert sounded, and then his phone rang a third time.
Zen stared at him and then asked, “Don’t you think you should get that?” in a gentle voice.
Wayuu shook his head. When the phone rang one more time, his hands were shaking so hard he dropped the device.
Zen fished between the cushions to retrieve the cell. He glanced at the screen and grimaced. “It’s Ito. Don’t you want to—”
Wayuu shook his head hard. “No, I know what he wants.”
“What?” Sage leaned forward.
In a very small voice, Wayuu said, “Me.”
“What!” Zen glared at the phone.
Haru set his drink down. “You want to tell us?”
Daiki hoped the emphasis on us reminded Wayuu he wasn’t alone. The band were going to sink or swim together, so they all needed to understand what was happening.
Wayuu took his phone from Zen and played the message on speaker.
“Wayuu! You owe me. Where are you? Answer my calls or I will post this clip within twenty-four hours. You want your fans to know Watanabe Wayuu is a kinky sub who sluts it up at parties?”
Closing his eyes, Wayuu said, “He sent me the clip… of me… at a BDSM party….”
“That bastard,” Haru growled.
Wayuu sighed and shook his head. “The clip has me on a St. Andrew’s cross. I should just quit the band. I don’t want—”
“Absolutely not,” both Sage and Zen said at the same time.
Haru followed with “No way.”
Daiki wished there was something he could do. He muttered, “You need to own the narrative.”
“How?” Wayuu’s voice broke.
Sage started pacing. “Yes! What if we…? No, but maybe we could—”
“What?” Zen demanded.
Following Sage’s train of thought easily, Daiki nodded. “That might work.”
“What?” Zen asked again.
“What if we do a BDSM photo shoot? Echoing the clip?” Sage’s idea gave them something to rally behind.
Zen snapped his fingers and pointed at Sage. “Wait, didn’t a K-pop group do something like that a while back? They even had a Master-sub contract in with the DVD set.”
“We don’t even have a song.” Wayuu’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“Might not be necessary, though it’d be nice,” Sage said.
“I can do a sneak release of Kashi-sei in one of my ongoing BL series. Introduce Kashi-sei while you’re at a BDSM party. A couple of frames of a couple of you, including Wayuu, in various submissive poses. The premise could be the party evolves into a shoot, or vice versa.”
“I love it.” Sage kissed him on the head. “I can do a vlog about the nightlife in Tokyo and add a few pictures teasing the song.”
“What about the song?” Haru asked.
“Do we need one?” Zen tilted his head and smirked. “Or do you know how we get one?”
Sage stopped pacing. “I have a couple friends in LA, but Haru, do you have any songs that might work?”
Haru shrugged. “Don’t know if you guys would like it, but the title is ‘I’m All Tied Up For You.’”
“Nice. Can you sing it for us?” Zen asked.
“’Course. The song can go big or stay soft and small.” Haru did a run-through of the song and concluded with, “It’s a bit rough.”
“But the song is there. Polishing a few of the parts will be easy, though I’d be interested to hear the song both ways before we decide which direction we take it,” Sage said.
Zen nodded in hearty agreement.
“I can release some photos on Screaming Into the Void Instagram account.” Sage took the lead, which made Daiki’s heart skip a few beats.
Wayuu hadn’t moved.
“Then even if Ito releases it, people will assume the clip is part of the photo shoot.” Haru sat back with a big grin.
“Would this even work?” Wayuu’s words were filled with doubt.
Sage asked, “Why wouldn’t it? And even if it doesn’t, this band is about being who we are, not who people think we’re supposed to be.”
Wayuu’s mouth dropped open, but he remained silent.
Zen leaned into Wayuu. “So you’re into that?”
Blushing as if he were touching the sun, Wayuu pressed his lips together and shrugged.
“You guys really think this song will work?” Haru seemed shy for the first time ever.
“Yes, and if my vote counts, this could be a great way to brand our band.” Zen looked around at each of the members.
“Sorry for being the cause of so much trouble.” Wayuu’s eyes watered.
Zen threw an arm around Wayuu and tugged him closer.
Sage stepped over to Wayuu. “We want to do this.”
“It’s what bands do,” Haru stated.
Wayuu shook his head. “Fire didn’t come together when there was trouble.”
“Other than you, they weren’t worth much.” Patting Wayuu on the shoulder, Zen smiled.
“There’s always going to be obstacles. Our job is to figure out ways around them. Where can we shoot this?” Sage asked.
Daiki couldn’t sketch fast enough. When had he started drawing? “I know the owner of a club you could probably use. The premise in the manga could be that the band is at the party because of a lost bet, and… what?”
The band was staring at him. Daiki noticed because it changed how the moonlight made the shadows shift.
“Maybe. I mean, I can do any storyline…,” Daiki backpedaled.
“You’re perfect.” Sage grinned at him.
Chapter 12
BY THE next morning, Sage, Daiki, and the band had reviewed the clip—Wayuu hid in the bedroom, claiming to be too embarrassed to watch with them—and Daiki had secured the use of the club. Sage FaceTimed with the twins from the venue.
“Any recommendations on how to shoot this space?”
“Other than to let me film it… nope.” Lee was pissed.
Trying not to roll his eyes, Sage explained again, “I want it to look raw, not professional. Plus time is issue. We need these pictures immediately. But when we do more than promo shots, I’ll ask for your schedule.”
Ryder snuggled into Lee, and he seemed slightly mollified. “It’s fine, Sage. Give us a tour. This club looks like a loft space or warehouse?”
“Upper floor of a warehouse. When you first walk in, it’s a social area with tables and chairs and a few couches.”
“What’s the color scheme?”
Sage pushed the sheer curtains aside and directed his phone around the room. “Charcoal grays and black. Then there’s an open play space with St. Andrew’s crosses, benches and tables with restraints, several sex slings, a hospital bed, and a few flat surfaces. The owner said there are smaller rooms in the back, but I think it makes sense to shoot in the main area.”
“The overall vibe appears to be abandoned warehouse with all concrete and metal beams,” Ryder summed up the club’s aesthetic.
“You doing any smoke?” Lee asked.
Sage tried to think about the clip he’d seen. “Not for this photo shoot, but I think for the video, yes? Smoke will lend to the fantasy of the forbidden.”
“Absolutely.” Lee’s creative side kicking in evidently got him excited enough to forget he was pissed.
Sage wanted to bypass the idea of breaking taboos because it had been riding him hard all morning. “Anything else?”
Ryder gave him the now-famous smirk. “Add a touch more red to your lower lips.”
Rolling his eyes again, Sage agreed, “Fine. Should I introduce you to the band?”
Lee’s “Of course” was drowned out by Ryder’s happy squee.
“Hey, guys, the twins want to meet you.” Once the band was standing in a cluster, Sage directed the tiny camera at each one, said their names, and then said, “This is Ryder and Ryley.”
Ryder started to mutter. “Holy fuckness.”
Sage turned the phone to stare at Ryder and Lee. “What?”
“What? They’re so hot dressed in all leather. Someone needs to lock them up, or maybe down….”
Sage glanced at his bandmates.
Zen smirked and continued to twirl a riding crop.
“Thanks,” Haru called out while attaching cuffs to his belt loop.
Stepping back, Wayuu continued to stare at the floor as he touched the collar he wore.
They did look hot in BDSM gear, but Ryder didn’t see what was truly sexy—Daiki in one of Sage’s T-shirts, hunched over his sketch pad, totally enthralled by the lines he drew onto the page.
Lee kissed Ryder’s head and purred, “You can lock me up as long as I have the keys to your heart.”
When clearing his throat didn’t stop the love fest, Sage said, “Okay. I’m off to do this photo shoot.”
Ryder’s laughter was deep. “We’re off too… to get off. Later.”
Lee said, “Later,” and then yipped for a reason Sage was sure he didn’t want to know about, right before the phone screen went black.
Zen asked, “Wait, are they related?”
“Everyone asks them that.” Sage waved him off. “No, they’re not.”
Haru folded his arms over his chest. “Well, you did introduce them as ‘the Twins.’”
“Everybody calls them that because they’re inseparable. But they’re not blood kin. As far as their relationship, you can ask them that when you meet them, but right now let’s do thi
s.”
Wayuu glanced around the group. “Guys, I really appreciate you doing this, but I feel like it’s asking too much. Don’t you think it would be better if I left the band?”
“No.” Zen was adamant.
“Better? Define that word.” Haru questioned not only Wayuu’s statement but his sanity.
For the umpteenth time, Wayuu seemed to be gearing up to discuss quitting. “It would be easier. That way you wouldn’t be starting with such a risky first cut.”
Sage’s role would help them stay on track. “Kashi-sei means visibility. This isn’t only about orientation or gender. This is about being you and expressing yourself. We’re going to try to give validation to those who are different by stealing the stigma—”
“I should go. I—” Wayuu started to move toward the exit.
Zen grabbed Wayuu’s wrist, stopping him.
“We can’t force you, but we all want you to stay.” Sage wouldn’t apply pressure, but Zen looked like he was good doing whatever it took to keep Wayuu with them… him.
Wayuu groaned and combed his fingers through his hair with the hand not secured by Zen. “I feel terrible.”
Haru leaned against one of the St. Andrew’s crosses. “Hey, look at it this way. One of my songs may be the first Kashi-sei song released. That’s huge for me.”
Continuing to twirl the crop, Zen shrugged. “And hey, I’ve always wanted to know more about BDSM.”
“Really?” Wayuu gasped.
Sage pressed his lips together so he didn’t crack up. Hopefully these two would bring their chemistry to the stage. “So where should we begin?”
Daiki abandoned his sketch pad and appeared right next to him. “Um, there were kiss marks on Wayuu’s neck that night. Should I try to make them?” He pointed at the makeup kit he carried.
Zen tilted his head. “Where were they exactly?”
Wayuu frowned. “I don’t think you’d be able to—”
“But it makes sense to try to look similar to the clip.” Sage pointed out the obvious.
“No need to fake anything. Where were they, Wayuu? Show me.” Zen’s glare directed at Sage was meant to be intimidating, and it was in stark contrast to the soft voice he used to try to mesmerize Wayuu.
