by Andy McNab
Chapter Sixty-six
JENNY DROPPED VICKY OFF AT NURSERY AND THEN PUT THE BABY IN HER pram. She was trying to get herself back into shape before Dave came home and had just been given her post-op all-clear. On the days Vicky went to nursery, Jenny aimed to walk three miles a day, and walk quickly.She liked the crisp autumn air. She liked the way the camp was sleepy on weekday mornings when all the kids were at school. She liked the way the sun shone now: brightly but not oppressively.The fastest route to the countryside was past Agnieszka’s house and she glanced at the windows and thought she saw the Polish girl’s face there. She waved, but Agnieszka was gone.Jenny felt uncomfortable. She should have asked Agnieszka to bring Luke in his buggy on this crisp, clear day: she was one of the few mothers who would enjoy a fast, invigorating walk. But she admitted guiltily to herself that she did not want to share her walk with her.Agnieszka had visited Jenny just once since she came out of hospital and had seemed even more withdrawn than usual.‘Are you OK?’ Jenny had asked her. Agnieszka replied with one of those tight little half-smiles. You never knew what she was thinking.Jenny had spoken to Adi about it. ‘Does she ever see anyone or go out?’‘Oh, yes, I see her around with the buggy,’ Adi had replied. ‘And, you know, you’re too busy to take care of Agnieszka. We’re all too busy.’Adi had been unusually brisk. Jenny wondered if it was because she had also seen Agnieszka with that man. Well, if Agnieszka was having an affair, it certainly wasn’t making her any happier.The last houses in the camp were the officers’, large with big gardens and huge, leafy old trees outside them. And then she was in the countryside. It wasn’t wild countryside. It was shared between farmers and tank drivers so the fields of sheep were crisscrossed by warnings, signs and tank guidance posts.She walked hard and fast. There was no one around today until, when she was just about to turn for home, a runner approached her. He was moving quickly and as he neared she noticed the sweat dripping from his face before she saw that his left leg was made of metal.‘Steve!’He slowed, recognized her, then stopped a few metres past her. At first he couldn’t talk. He bent over, puffing and sweating.‘Hi, Jenny. I got back last night and thought I’d . . .’ His voice disappeared inside his own breath.‘Well, just take your time,’ she said. ‘I mean . . . I saw this bloke haring along but I never guessed it was you!’‘I’m out of breath because I’m out of condition,’ he puffed. ‘Nothing to do with the leg.’He stood upright then walked over to the pram and peered in.‘She’s growing. Looks a bit like her dad, though, and that can’t be good. Got a name for her yet?’Jenny said firmly: ‘Not until Dave’s home.’ She was trying not to peer at the strange, streamlined metal contraption that grew out of Steve’s shorts. ‘It’s amazing you’re running already!’‘Go on, Jen, stare at it. Everyone wants to.’She blushed. ‘It looks strong.’‘Has to be, the hell it’s going to get from me.’They grinned at each other.‘It’s nice you’re home for the lads getting back,’ she said.‘Well, with any luck I’ll be fit enough to run with them.’‘That’s why I’m out today, too. I’m trying to get my figure back before Dave comes home.’‘You never lost it, Jen. Unlike some people who never had it.’She knew who he meant. For a moment she wanted to ignore this but she could not leave her friend undefended.‘Leanne put on a lot of weight after your accident, Steve. Eating was her way of coping.’His face changed. She watched the muscles in it rearrange themselves. Usually so big and open, he was darkening suddenly. He looked angry. He gritted his teeth and his jaw sharpened. He was even a bit scary, she thought. He had never looked that way before.‘Yeah, well, it was a while ago now and she’s had plenty of chance to lose that weight again. But she won’t lose it sitting in front of the TV.’‘It’s been hard for her . . .’‘You think it hasn’t been hard for me? The easiest thing in the world is to sit around and be a couch potato but there’s no way I’m giving in to it. She shouldn’t either.’‘I know you’ve been to hell and back, Steve. I really admire you for having the grit to start running. And because you’re determined to fight again. But Leanne’s been in bits. You’ve got some goals: get walking, get running, get back out with the other lads. Her life fell apart and it hasn’t been so straightforward putting it back together.’He looked thoughtful.‘Goals is a good word, Jen. If we give Leanne some goals that might help her . . .’She decided to steer the conversation away from Leanne.‘Steve, how are you going to feel when the others get back?’His face changed again. Suddenly all the tight, angry lines loosened and he looked less sure of himself.‘I’d sort of like to be there when the bus gets into the square. So would Ben Broom. Ryan Connor’s not ready for that yet.’‘Oh, Steve, that’s a fantastic idea. They’ll be so pleased to see you. I know it would mean a lot to Dave.’‘But he’ll be looking for you. Everyone will be with their family. The lads’ stuff is over for a while when we first come home.’‘You don’t think Dave’s going to walk straight past you!’‘Maybe it’s not the right time.’‘But . . . how will you feel? Seeing them all get off the bus?’Steve swallowed. Jenny watched him again. She did not remember that his face had ever had this mobility before. She had no recollection of the way emotions passed across it like clouds. Perhaps he’d just been better at hiding them. Now he looked vulnerable. His eyes were crinkling and his mouth was twisting unhappily. He looked as though he might cry.‘Steve?’‘I’m not sure I can handle it. Because I missed the whole fucking tour. And they’ve had all these experiences. They’ll have been changed by what happened. Even if they tell me everything, I didn’t go through it with them. I wasn’t there. So I don’t feel as though I know them like before.’Jenny’s eyes dropped from Steve’s anguished face to the pram where the baby slept peacefully under her white blanket.‘Steve . . . I know what you mean. Because I feel exactly the same way.’They walked back to the camp together. When they passed the rec, they paused for a parking car.‘Mazda MR2, very nice,’ said Steve. ‘I’ve always fancied one of them myself.’A man got out of it and walked up the road.‘Who’s he?’ asked Steve.‘I don’t know,’ said Jenny. But she was sure she recognized him.
Agnieszka had seen Jenny walking and noted the way she stepped out cheerfully in the autumn sunshine. She had decided to do the same. But just putting on Luke’s coat had resulted in such howling protests that she almost gave up. He was still protesting now while she put on her own. Next there was the tedious ritual of pushing and pulling a large buggy through a small hallway. Was it worth it? Was it worth even trying to leave the house?The bell rang. Probably Jenny, already coming back from her walk. Agnieszka didn’t want to speak to Jenny or anyone else but she opened the door, sighing and pulling the buggy out of the way.‘Hi, Aggie.’Her heart leaped. It soared. It was suddenly attached to a balloon, which was gaining altitude at an absurd rate. Her heart was light as a feather because it was shedding weight as it flew. The atmosphere up here was thin, her head was dizzy.‘Ags?’When she still could not speak he stepped inside. The door clicked shut behind him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her and she felt herself, without hesitation, return the kiss.‘Have you missed me?’ he asked.She closed her eyes. She couldn’t explain to him that it had been snowing since he left, a cold, frozen winter world.‘It’s OK,’ he said. ‘I’m back now, Ags.’
Chapter Sixty-seven
THE LADS WERE QUIET WHEN THE CONVOY LEFT THE NEXT DAY. Nobody wanted to screw up in front of the SAS men and the wagons were peppered with them.Dave, in the front, expected them to go into the Green Zone. He had thought it very likely Martyn was held in one of the maze of compounds near the river. But instead they swung towards the desert. His heart sank as he realized they were heading back towards Jackpot. So they were returning to the camp. He’d hoped it would be dismantled by now. They were in the dusty bowl of the desert that led to Jackpot when the convoy suddenly swung left.‘Christ!’ said Dave. ‘We’re not going to a compound. Or the camp. We’re going to the Early Rocks.’As they drew closer he began to understand how massive the rocks were. They had looked like stark, strange shapes jutting from the d
esert sands in the distance but close-up they were more complex. There must be water, because bushes and small trees sprouted all around. And running around the base of the rocks was a ring of earthworks at least two metres high. So the mysterious shrine was a natural fortress.The massive rocks towered over them as they reached the entrance to the shrine. Built around one rock as though it had grown out of the sand was a tiny gatehouse. The wagons slowed as they reached it and threw out some of the SAS men. The wagons speeded up again and the boss passed on the orders: ‘In sixty seconds we will have the rock circle very loosely surrounded. You will dismount and close in on the circle, scrambling over the bank at the base of the rocks. We don’t know exactly what we’ll find inside except probably underground tunnels and, we hope, Topaz Zero. Your job is to suppress the enemy so that our colleagues can locate him. The enemy will be positioning now. So take advantage of their confusion to debus fast and close in rapidly on the rocks.’Dave said at once: ‘Fix bayonets, lads.’The drivers were told to stop one hundred metres from the rocks.‘Go closer!’ Dave ordered his driver.‘But the boss said—’‘Closer! You can move back when we’re all out.’The driver screamed towards the rocks and stopped about sixty metres away.‘Everybody out, go, go, go!’ Sol yelled at 1 Section.The men began to rush towards the rock circle. The weight of their kit was oppressive. It bounced on their backs and their pouches rattled on their bodies. Binns, the lightweight, had been fast as a school kid. Now he was a lumbering animal, staggering and doubled over as he ran.‘I wish I could take this fucking shit off and really run!’ he shouted to Streaky. But Streaky could not hear him over his own heaving breath.Angus was still back at the wagon. In addition to his normal rifle, pistol, kit and ammo he had mortars and the sniper rifle too. By the time he had staggered down from the bus the others were halfway across the open ground. He knew he was carrying too much weight but wasn’t sure what to leave. He paused and, before he could decide, the wagon moved off. Shit! Now he would have to take it all. And the others had nearly reached the rocks.Fire erupted from all around the massive circle simultaneously, in a blaze of light, noise and smoke. The men who were still in exposed positions threw themselves onto their belt buckles on the desert sand, easy targets for the enemy.All of 1 Section had reached the shelter of one of the massive stone pillars except Angus. They looked back now and saw him.He lay still, head down, as though he’d already been shot, thinking, Shit, shit, shit. He could feel something like rain, and knew it was rounds. The rough sand bit into his cheeks. He dared to half look up once. All round him the desert danced with bouncing rounds. He put his head back down and knew that one of the rounds must hit him. They could not all miss him. His body was rigid with expectation. He wanted to yell and shout against his helplessness.He heard helicopters overhead.‘Thank Christ! Where have they been?’ roared Angus on PRR.Dave responded.‘Don’t get excited, McCall. There’s nothing much they can do to help us, not with a hostage trapped inside.’‘Move forward, Angry,’ shouted Sol’s voice into his ear. ‘It’s just as safe as lying there.’‘I shouldn’t have carried so much weight,’ he moaned. He heard his own voice, whimpering a bit. He was going to die. So he might as well die courageously. The Families Officer might as well stand in his dad’s hallway and say that Angus had died a heroic death. He began to stagger to his feet but the mortars he was carrying pulled his left side down and the rest of his body with it. Ping. A round whistled just over his shoulder. Good thing he hadn’t stood up, then, or that one certainly would have got him. Except that now he was stuck here, giving the ragheads some easy target practice.A few moments later he felt someone tugging on his arm.‘Get up, you lazy bastard, stop sleeping on the job.’Jamie Dermott. Pulling him to his feet, grabbing some of the weight off him and firing the gimpy while the pair of them staggered across the desert together.Angus didn’t have time to think, feel surprise or be grateful. His whole body and mind were focused on running in Olympic time to the rest of the lads by the rock. It wasn’t until they arrived safely and he slumped down, his mouth open, the breath never enough to fill his empty lungs, sweat pouring down his body, that relief began to seep from every pore. And then he understood that Jamie had saved his life.He said: ‘Fuck, Jamie. I mean, fuck.’Jamie was red-faced and gasping too.‘Don’t mention it,’ he breathed.‘I could feel the fucking rounds scrape against my helmet! One missed my shoulder by that much . . .’‘You must have been just outside the flipflops’ arcs of fire,’ said Mal. ‘I didn’t think you could get here alive.’Angus stood up, still red and panting, and reached for his water tube. He let out a roar.‘What’s the matter, Angry?’ asked Sol. ‘Are you all right?’‘My fucking Camelbak’s empty!’Sol took a look.‘A round went through it,’ he reported.‘Fucking, fucking hell! I’m thirsty!’Sol handed him a bottle of water.‘There isn’t anyone else in this whole platoon, Angry, who would moan about a round hitting their Camelbak instead of their vital organs.’The heavy machine guns on the WMIKs were pounding at the other side of the shrine and the mortar men were busy. Sol’s section put down fire where they saw muzzle flashes. But most of their rounds were bouncing off rock or getting lodged in the bank.Dave was pinned down back at the Vector. The boss spoke to each of his section commanders in turn and confirmed that they had all their men up against the rocks. Sergeant Somers of 2 Platoon, on the other side of the shrine, was not so lucky. His Vector drivers had stopped further back and the men in one wagon had been too slow. They had debussed right into the contact. The bank was highest here and the enemy had taken advantage of this to feast on them. Dave saw CSM Kila rushing off in a wagon to deal with the casualties.‘I can see what’s happening from back here better than you can,’ Dave told his corporals. ‘The choggies are firing through cracks in the rocks so you can forget firing back at them. A few insurgents are exposed on top of the ridge . . . See how many you can get.’‘Just look up there,’ came the boss’s voice.Dave looked up. High on the top of a rock, like a man who had just taken the elevator to the roof of a skyscraper, was the silhouette of an insurgent with a weapon that was probably a Kalashnikov.‘Did he fly there? And with that weapon, too?’‘Ropes. Or they’ve carved steps up the back of the rocks.’The man was kneeling down and lifting his weapon, capitalizing on the natural advantage of his position. Dave guessed he was aiming at Kila’s casualty evacuation. He jumped out of the Vector with his SA80. It took just three shots. The body did not fall but remained slumped over the machine gun.‘Rule One,’ Dave told it. ‘The chances are that the best firing positions are the most exposed. Now let them try getting you down from there.’1 Section edged cautiously around the rock to the base of the ridge, checking for figures at the top of it. They reached the place Sol had chosen for them to breach it. Now they were close it looked steeper.‘Fucking hell, they can just pick us off one by one as we climb up,’ said Finn.Sol paused, frowning.From out by the Vector Dave could hear firing from all around the rocks but the acoustic was as strange as the place. It echoed back across the desert until it was impossible to pinpoint where the noise was coming from or to estimate the size of the enemy inside.‘I’m going to move closer in with the Vector and cover you as you go up the bank. I’ll deal with any of them waiting for you at the top. But only you can see what’s on the other side.’Sol said: ‘Everyone fixed their bayonet?’The driver turned to Dave.‘Did you say something about going in closer again?’‘Yeah. Shit, I wish I’d thought of keeping the sniper rifle back here with me. That’s what happens when you don’t get proper information on an operation beforehand.’‘Do I have to move forward?’‘Just a bit. Turn it sideways on if that makes you feel safer.’The Vector’s move brought a hail of fire.‘Fucking hell,’ said the driver, as he swung the vehicle round. ‘Did you save me from those IEDs in the Green Zone just to get me shot up out here in the middle of nowhere?’‘OK, then, stop.’‘I’m watching you,’ said the boss from the next wagon. Dave glanced across the desert. The next wagon was far away.He leaped out, went to the side of the vehicle and got himself into a goo
d position. He drew so much fire from the enemy that he was forced backwards. He tried again and there was more fire. The third time he told 1 Section: ‘Let’s get on with it. Up the bank now. Fast.’He had to steel himself against his own instinct to duck back behind the Vector as rounds tore up the desert around him. He watched Sol go up first, followed by Mal.A bearded man appeared with an AK47 at the top of the rim, his back against a rock to optimize his arc on the soldiers as they scrambled up the bank. Dave fired off ten rounds and the man fell.‘Wrong weapon, wrong place. You’d have done better with a pistol at that distance,’ said Dave, falling back for a moment with relief.The next time he looked, another insurgent was standing at the top of the bank holding a pistol. Dave shot him.‘Right weapon, wrong place,’ he told the dead man.Sol, Angus, Mal, Jamie and Binman were flat on their belt buckles on top of the bank now, firing into the shrine, while Finn and Streaky, who had been covering from below, were scrambling up behind them. Beneath them, a man with an AK47 appeared. He was at ground level and had emerged from 1 Section’s previous position around the rock.‘Shit, how did you get there?’ asked Dave, as he fired. ‘We’re supposed to be surrounding you, not the other way round . . .’Sections 2 and 3 were also fighting their way into the shrine just around the rock circle, covered by a WMIK. The company was closing in at all points, tightening the net on the insurgents within the shrine, increasing the rate of fire until the noise and its echo sounded like one long, continuous blast.Dave knew he would soon have to get his platoon more ammo. He told the reluctant driver to move closer. The boss was giving orders to the men inside the rock circle now. He was instructing them to use grenades to move forward. Did this mean that Martyn had been rescued already? Or were they so heavily outnumbered by the enemy that they had been forced into a risky strategy?The fighting advanced into the heart of the shrine and Dave was able to make his way to the rocks and up the ridge unimpeded. Inside the circle were bushes and hillocks and ridges and giant boulders but mostly there were soldiers. Dave could see how rapidly they were pushing back the Taliban fighters. He could see some of his men in good firing positions. 3 Section were well situated around boulders, 1 Section were back a bit but Jamie with the gimpy was perching on a ledge where he could just drop machine-gun fire into the insurgents’ line.‘You’re doing well, Dermott, but you’re a bit exposed . . .’ Dave began.He stopped speaking because he saw the RPG. After that everything fragmented into a series of snapshots. The Taliban grenade, tearing through the air like a deadly dart, cutting a path towards Jamie. The grenade appearing on the other side of Jamie and exploding thity metres beyond against a rock in a mass of flame and smoke. Jamie continuing to blast away for a few seconds on the machine gun. Jamie staggering. Jamie falling, Bergen first, at the side of the ledge.Dave let out a roar. Standing on the ridge he was one of the few soldiers high enough to see what had happened. The roar of battle and the roar of his own denial echoed around in his head as he heard his voice, crisp and clear, reporting the incident. He ordered McCall and Sol Kasanita back to help carry the casualty outside the rocks where CSM Kila and the medic were waiting.The next snapshots were out of focus. Sometimes he replayed them in the wrong order. McCall’s white face. Sol loading the bleeding body of Jamie onto the stretcher: ‘He’s still alive, Sarge!’ Dave’s own hand shoving Jamie’s autojet of morphine into his leg. Staggering down the ledge and up the bank with the stretcher, feeling that his arms would break with the weight and knowing that something was breaking inside him. Jamie’s body moving with each jerk and bump of the stretcher as though deeply, deeply asleep.‘C’mon, Jamie, for fuck’s sake, c’mon!’ Angus McCall. His face a horror mask. ‘You didn’t run out into the desert to save me just so this could happen to you . . .’
