"It was obvious. I was too dumb to see it."
"Well… it's over. We have everything out in the open now."
Pilar shrank inside. If only that were true. She didn't know quite what she was going to do. Even as she snuggled up against him, smelling his special scent and feeling the warmth of him against her face and body, she felt hopeless. The problem was, she was in love with Deuce Journey.
She hated what she was doing as much as she loved every minute with him. He was everything she'd ever wanted in a man. But, she had to remember that a former exotic dancer was not everything he could want in a woman. She was so much less than he deserved.
His hands cupped her hot behind and she cringed a little, even as she wiggled her encouragement. There was a growing bulge in his jeans that hadn't been there a few moments ago. They were alone. The box was quiet.
"Deuce…" She squirmed against his groin, and he made a soft sound. It enticed her to press her body harder against him. His hand slid up her back under her t-shirt. Sniffling her last sniffles, she tilted her face up toward his chin and gave the stubbled underside a little lick with the tip of her tongue. "Since we're here…"
"I have to get back to the seats, Pilar. Eddie won't be with Virginia and Robbie for the whole game."
Duh. She'd completely forgotten about the little boy. What was the matter with her? "I'm sorry. I mean, of course. I didn't intend…"
Deuce patted her fanny gently and took half a step back from her. "I know, sugar. I want it too, but we can't right now. Tonight, okay?"
She nodded and bent to pull up her clothes.
After they had their night together, she'd tell him about the dancing. It had to be done and she had to hope for the best. It seemed unlikely that he'd barrel on ahead with their relationship and devil take the hindmost, but he'd been honest with her and she owed him the same consideration. It was his career she was jeopardizing with each passing day and every person they encountered together.
Guilt ate at her. If only she wasn't in love with him. It could have been so much easier.
Love wasn't going to be enough this time.
Chapter 6
Deuce ran his hand over his scratchy jaw as he drove home from Children's Hospital. Traffic was messed up due to an accident, despite the pre-dawn hour, and he was grouchy and tired.
Although he'd stabilized the little preemie he'd had to perform emergency surgery on, the rest of the day had been rotten. The emergency had forced him to cut his time with Eddie short, disappointing the little boy who'd been looking forward to a guy's night out of pizza and baseball talk. Stacy had been a bitch again, slowing him down as he was racing around. And, then there was the issue with Pilar.
It was a good sign that she was right for him when she accepted his having to postpone their nighttime plans because of the medical emergency. Over the phone, she'd wished him luck and hoped that the baby would be okay soon. But her behavior through the day had him concerned about possible insecurity issues and even potential problems with accepting Eddie, mostly because of Stacy's continued persistence. He figured Pilar would be fine with the boy, if not for his mother.
He was going to have to do something about that, no doubt. But what? His ex was obnoxious about wanting him back, willing to go to nearly any lengths to reach her goal. It didn't seem to matter how many times he told her no.
When Deuce had discovered her cheating on him, it had been the end of their relationship. He'd suspected something was wrong for several months, but the day he'd walked in on her with her personal trainer and a guy from her gym had been the day he'd called the relationship over for good. He was only lucky to have had enough control of his temper to chase them out with threats rather than with fists and feet as he'd wanted.
Stacy, however, wasn't interested in continuing on with either of those men. Instead, she claimed to be remorseful about her behavior. Mostly she was remorseful about being caught. Deuce noted at the time that she didn't accept personal responsibility for her actions. She'd pointed out that being with two guys at once had been a fantasy of hers for years, one that Deuce had been unwilling to fulfill. In her mind, it was perfectly okay to indulge in something if it was "just sex." That kind of unfaithfulness didn't count against her, if you listened to her tell it.
Deuce didn't believe his thinking was narrow and square, as Stacy claimed. He was hardly one to suggest that he didn't have his own kinks. But none of his proclivities involved breaking a commitment by cheating. It was unconscionable to even consider it. Once you decided that a woman was special and you formed a bond, you didn't go tom-catting around.
For the thousandth time, he mentally kicked himself for getting involved with Stacy before getting to know her well enough. She'd been sexy and smart and fun at the time. Her pursuit of him had been flattering. He'd been an enormous fool.
He thought about Pilar some more. She didn't seem like the kind of woman whom he'd ever have to be worried about in that regard. Her family was solid, even with its troubles, and she wasn't a cheater. There was something elusive about her, though. It was right there, almost within his grasp, but not quite. He'd figure it out, given time. And, so long as she didn't pull that break-up-with-me-because-I'm-unworthy crap again, they'd have time.
If she truly wanted to break up with him, he couldn't stop her, of course. He was determined, however, not to give her any reasons that involved him letting her down in any way or holding back. Pilar was a good person.
The neighborhood was quiet when he got home. His porch light and one light on a timer was on in his house. A lingering smell of exhaust and road grease followed him into the kitchen as he came in through the garage door.
He vacillated over whether to grab some food or go straight to bed. An empty, cold bed, he grumped with uncharacteristic self-pity. Maybe that would change as Pilar became a more integral component in his life.
He checked his phone and discovered that his father had called while he was in surgery. Leo was a very early riser by habit, as most ranchers were. He'd be up by now, and Deuce had an idea he wanted to discuss with him anyway.
After he fixed himself some eggs, he dialed up his dad. Leo answered on the third ring. It was easy to picture the older man, standing tall in his faded jeans and blue cotton work shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He probably wouldn't have his hat on his head yet, so his steel gray hair would be neatly combed and remarkably full for his age. Deuce could almost hear the solid thump of boot heels on the family ranch house wood floors as the man walked over to the phone to pick it up.
His older brother, Ace, would be up, too, there at the house, but probably occupied with his wife. They'd only been married a few months, and the newness hadn't worn off yet. In some ways, Deuce was a little jealous of his brother's relationship, though, of course, he wished him nothing but the best. He reminded himself that it had taken Ace nearly 40 years to find Gabby. Deuce had a little more than three years before he reached that mark. Maybe Pilar was the one.
Both his younger brother and sister, Trey and Queenie, had found their mates already. Only Deuce and Jackie were left alone. If twenty-two year old Jackie found someone before Deuce, Leo would never let his son live it down.
Leo answered the phone.
"Dad, it's Deuce. I'm returning your call."
"Just callin' to catch up, son. You sound tired. Pull an all-nighter again?"
"Yeah. Had an emergency to deal with. Should be okay now."
"I admire your dedication. Everything else goin' alright?"
It was good to have his father's praise, which wasn't exactly rare, but not given insincerely either. "Yeah. I have something I'd like to ask you, though."
"Shoot."
"I have a new girlfriend," he began, a little unsure of where to start. He was too tired to rehash everything, but he did want his father's agreement to his scheme.
"Okay."
"Her name is Pilar and she's got a little brother who has some…troubles."
"What kin
d of troubles?"
"He's involved with gangs here in the city."
"Not good, son. Not good."
"No. I agree."
"How old is he?"
"About fourteen, Dad. Way too young."
"Fourteen? How old is this girl you're datin'?"
"Twenty-eight. It's a long story. Anyway, summer's nearly here and I was thinking maybe you might need another hand to help with the hay crop this year. Maybe do some other chores."
"Honest labor, you mean," Leo confirmed. "Somethin' away from the gangs."
"Exactly."
"You talked to him and his parents 'bout this, Deuce?"
"No. I wanted to clear it with you first."
"Okay. See if you can get him to agree." There was a pause. "Am I gonna have to hide the silver?"
"I don't know, Dad. Maybe."
Leo let out a slow breath. "This girl worth the trouble, boy?"
"Yeah, Dad. I think she is."
"Well, alright then, so long as you're not lettin' your dick do the thinkin'."
Deuce laughed at his father's earthy comment. "No, Dad, I'm not."
They went on for a few minutes. Deuce wanted to find out how Leo was and how things were on the ranch. He asked about his brothers and sisters, knowing that Leo would have the latest information. Deuce kept in contact with them all, but his father was a central clearinghouse.
Jackie's graduation was coming up, and Deuce considered how he might help her get established in her nursing career. He discussed it with his dad for a few moments, but reached no conclusion. He discovered that their old family doctor was retiring in a few months, and he and his wife were going to move to Seattle to be closer to their children. It left the community without a local doctor. Deuce was sad to see the end of that era. Dr. Ford had been a big influence on Deuce as a young man. He was a big reason why Deuce had gone into medicine. Ford was amazing with Deuce's mother as she went through her terminal illness. Deuce had wanted to grow up to be as caring and compassionate a healer.
When they rang off, Deuce felt a little better about things. Maybe there was one thing he could take off Pilar's plate of issues. They were going to get together later, after church, and he hoped to tell her the idea then.
But first, a few hours of sleep.
* * *
It was greedy and inconsiderate, Pilar berated herself. Keeping her college profession from Deuce until after they'd made love again was wrong with a capital W. But seeing him, his blue eyes twinkling in the late spring sunshine, his dark hair blowing slightly in the afternoon breeze, she couldn't make herself do it. One more time. One more moment of bliss with him and then boom, over. The memories, however, would last a long time. She wasn't inclined toward selfishness, but the fact was, he'd have the memories, too. Of course, he might not treasure them. He might, in fact, feel sullied by their time together, as if her dirty background had rubbed off on him.
No. Deuce wasn't that kind of guy. He'd accept that they couldn't continue. She'd make sure it was his idea…somehow. He'd be understanding and sympathetic, but it would be obvious to the both of them that the situation was untenable. He'd say goodbye, perhaps with some small regret that it had to be that way. Deuce would be better off without her and he'd see that finally. Her past was her tombstone: Here lies Pilar, not quite a whore.
The pain of losing the man she loved would have to be dealt with, but not for a few sweet hours.
He picked her up at her apartment and they went directly to lunch. This time, Deuce had chosen a pleasant little café near his place and they sat indoors. There would be no reason for Stacy to find them and ruin their time together.
Pilar pushed aside her sadness and tried to enjoy their time together. She couldn't remember a man with whom she'd ever had such stimulating conversations.
"So now," he explained to her as he told her about the baby he'd helped the night previous, "his pediatrician will monitor the case and alert me if anything goes south. I stopped by the hospital before I picked you up, and the boy is doing as well as can be expected."
"You must have nerves of steel."
He laughed and took her hand where it sat on the tablecloth. "I do my darnedest. You make me feel like Superman, sugar."
Her face grew hot. "You are Superman, as far as I'm concerned," she whispered, just before she teased. "Does that make me Lois Lane?"
"More like Lolita Lopez, I think."
His grin was infectious and she laughed. "I don't believe the original Superman had a Mexican girlfriend."
Deuce shrugged, still smiling. "Maybe he was more multi-cultural than we give him credit for. And, besides, how could he resist Señorita Lopez when he knew what she was hiding? X-ray vision, you know."
"Are you saying that Lolita is a secret tramp?" A tiny pebble of fear bounced around her stomach as she thought about how much her dancing had made her feel like that very thing.
That was over. She was not a tramp. Her past was behind her, and she'd never done more than dance for the customers. Some of the other girls had made more money doing other things with the men who could afford it, but Pilar had never done that, no matter how tempting all that cash was. She squeaked by, paid for her college education, and that had been good enough. It had been hard to get naked and do her sexy dances in front of the ogling men and sometimes women, but she'd done what she had to do. If she had regrets now, they were foolish and she had to get them out of her way or she'd never move on.
As it was, her father had never forgiven her and her mother treated Pilar as though those five years of her life had been surgically excised and no longer existed.
Deuce was answering her fictitious question, his deep drawl making her breasts tingle. "If Lolita is a tramp, she's my tramp. And I don't share."
Although she had trouble letting her feelings go, Pilar laughed lightly at his possessiveness. "I think Lolita likes that."
He waggled his dark eyebrows suggestively. "Maybe she can show me how much she likes it."
Pilar felt her face flame. "Deuce, you are a naughty man."
"You are a naughty girl, too." He signed the credit card receipt and stood, offering his hand. "Let's go be naughty together."
Before they got into his car, he pressed her against the closed door, putting a hand near each of her shoulders. His breath smelled like peppermints as he lowered his face toward hers. Pilar's knees weakened.
"I think we'll make love out by the pool today," he told her. "Maybe in the pool."
"Won't someone see?"
"I have a fence. I don't care anyway. If someone wants to be that nosey…"
Pilar's lips tingled as his brushed against hers. She imagined how their encounter would go, and a twinge of disappointment shadowed the fantasy as she realized that if they made love in the pool, he couldn't spank her while they did it. And she so loved to be spanked during sex with Deuce. She didn't know how she could broach the subject, but he got there before she did.
"Maybe we'll bend you over a pool float so I can spank your ass first."
Moisture flooded her pussy and she shivered. Her agreement was lost in their kiss. He pulled away, tenderly giving her lower lip one last nip. "Best we get you into the car, sugar, or I'll be havin' my way with you right here on the street."
Once in the car, he gave her another suggestive look as he started the engine, then he reached over and took her hand, bringing it to the firm mound in his slacks. "Superman has a super hard-on for you, chica."
Yes, he did, and Pilar couldn't help but lick her lips in anticipation. He didn't miss it. "I'd love to have you give me head in the car, sugar, but we won't be goin' that far. You keep your li'l hand there, though. I like the way it feels."
She tried to control her voice, but it came out a husky whisper. "Yes, sir."
He parked in the garage and immediately came over to let her out of the car. She got out and he took her wrist, leading her into the cool interior of his house.
"Naked," he told her, as he put his h
ands in her hair and held her still while he kissed her deeply. "I can smell your pussy from here, Pilar. I can smell it and I want to touch it."
She groaned and began undressing as soon as he released his hold on her. Her clothes wouldn't come off fast enough to suit him though. Deuce had quickly shed his own, and turned to help her with hers. Her bra ended up on the kitchen counter, while her panties got tossed behind him, where they landed, hanging from the garage door knob.
"Now, woman," he growled in Spanish, pulling her against his body and his Superman erection. "Damn."
It wasn't a curse, it was a compliment. Pilar knew he was exclaiming about the same thing she was experiencing, a surge of lust so deep and urgent that it had her pussy throbbing with need.
Making a sound deep in his throat, Deuce stepped back slightly and turned her to face the glass doors leading to the back yard and the pool. He gave her a sharp crack on her butt, and sent her on her way. "I'll get towels," he told her, though it was obvious that practical matters were far from what he wanted to have on his hands. "Hop into the pool, sugar. I'll be right there."
Pilar gave him a hot glance over her shoulder as she raced toward the pool. A few moments later, she jumped in.
The water was cool, but the warm weather had taken off the worst of the chill. Her nipples drew in tightly, and her hair slicked over her head and shoulders. Deuce came out, throwing towels toward a patio chair as he ran toward the pool.
His splash caught Pilar in the face, but she soon forgot about the water stinging her eyes, as he pulled her underwater.
They tussled for a minute and both came up sputtering, their slippery hands moving all over each other. Deuce dipped down, almost to the water's surface, and took one of Pilar's nipples in his teeth, giving it a sharp tug and nip. Her head fell back as she sucked in a breath of chlorine-scented air. A ripple of pleasure raced from her nipple to her pussy and made her clit spark.
She reached for his erection and caressed him firmly.
"Wait right there," he said, moving away from her. She tried not to pout, but she didn't want to wait at all.
Deuce's Dancer Page 8
