by Lisa Moore
“New Zealand” I echoed the words. “He had names of purported witnesses and where they lived and various contacts with whom he was communicating. Last year I started to do some digging on the internet. I Googled some of the contact names and by chance came across the grandson of one of my great grand father’s contacts. His grand father also kept detailed journals on his work. He sent me copies of the papers and I found the name of a town where a farmer and his family had been killed. The man listed it as a story of interest due to the grizzly nature of the killings. He made specific notes in the journal about the presence of puncture wounds and torn flesh around the victims’ necks. The official explanation was animal attack. He noted there was one survivor, an infant. Next to the notation was a name Thomas. At first I thought with no last name I would never be able to track down this boy Thomas. As it turns out Thomas is the last name, and the survivor was a girl. Victoria Thomas aged nine months when she was left abandoned on the steps of a farmhouse near where the attack occurred, now aged 87 and living back on her families land in a small town located on Banks Peninsula called Little River. The official news report credits a Good Samaritan for finding the child amidst the carnage and taking her to the nearby farm. No other information was available. After a year of correspondence Victoria has agreed to see me. We will be going to interview her and several other old timers who were around at the time of the attack. One 96 year old witness claims he saw the attack, a boy of 9 at the time, he said he was playing in a nearby meadow when he heard the Thomas’ sheep making horrible screams and snuck up thinking farmer Thomas must be slaughtering some for market. What he saw instead was something or someone attacking the sheep, ripping their throats. He said he ran home and was too afraid to tell his folks. It wasn’t until the next day when they found the family killed that he said anything. They didn’t take the rambled recollection of a scared 9 year old as fact and chalked up the killings to animal attack.”
As Lily talked excitedly about the details of the trip I sat incredulous as her descriptions of the attack and the survivor started to sound all too familiar. I kept praying that in all of New Zealand it was just coincidence the details of a farm family being slaughtered so mirrored my own deadly rampage. But as the words “Little River” left her tongue I could only sit in stunned silence as the realization hit me. Victoria Thomas was the girl I left on the farm house steps the day I slaughtered her family and regained my humanity.
Chapter 19
My Past Catches Up to My Present
“Max are you ok? You look like you’re in pain?” I was in pain, anguished at the thought of facing my gruesome past. The thought that the little girl was still alive, or that she would have any recollection of that brutal day so long ago never really entered my mind. So distant have I kept that memory. And a witness, what horrors had he seen, would he recognize me as the monster if he saw me again? What would Lily uncover from her investigations? If she learns the truth about the brutality that occurred on that farm so many years ago, could she ever see me the same way again? Every fiber of my being wanted to just run, as far and fast as I could, putting distance between me and the reality of the moment.
“Max, what’s wrong?” Lily asked again as she took my hand in hers, a look of concern darkening her face. My brain swirled as I tried to process what all this meant. To Lily, I said “I’m fine. I think the cheese is disagreeing with me. If you will excuse me for a minute, I think I would feel better if I purged it from my system. I’ll be right back.” I got up and walked further down stream and behind a stand of trees. Indeed I did purge the food I had consumed, but I felt no better. Right now I just had to focus on getting through this weekend with out letting Lily see my true concerns.
I needed time to reflect on this turn of events, time to come up with a plan. But a plan for what? To tell Lily the truth? To find a way to keep my secrets hidden? I could disappear. Start a new chapter. But as I say the words in my head I know that leaving now is not an option. The thought of leaving Lily tears at my soul and a fresh wave of anguish washes over me. No, I will not run away, not from my past and not from the future I dream about with Lily. I have spent nearly a century trying to atone for my past transgressions. New Zealand was my rebirth. I will have to find a way to tell Lily the truth and if she rejects me, then I will leave.
I gather myself, and make my way back towards Lily. The wind has picked up since we set up our picnic; clouds are thickening and darkening overhead. Lily greats my return with a concerned smile. “You ok?” she asks. “Yes, much better, sorry for that.” “Don’t be silly, I just hope you feel ok, we have quite a walk back.” “I’m fine really, and speaking of going back, the weather is turning, we should start heading back or we could get caught in a squall.” “Ok. You sure you’re ok?” I pull Lily into my arms her head resting on my chest. I breathe in her scent as I embrace her. “As long as I am with you Lily, everything is right in my world”
We pack up our few supplies and head back to our camp site. The walk is more difficult for Lily as the wind has picked up and turned icy. I take the lead and try and block most of the wind for her but I see she is tiring. After shifting my pack around to my front I pause in front of Lily. “Hop on!” I say, as I assume the piggy back position. Lily looks up at me with a look that says “are you serious?” “Come on, please?” I try to flash her my best pleading look, and with a giggle she hops on my back.
We make good time moving as one. An icy snow has started to fall and the wind pelts us. Lily hides her face from the onslaught. I chance moving faster, hoping the wind and snow keep her face hidden and eyes closed long enough so I can quickly get her back to the warmth and safety of the yurt. As the storm swirls around us I once again catch the smell that spooked Pumpkin on the day we arrived at camp. The cold wet snow and wind pull the scent away again. I do not know what it is, but I am left with a lingering sense of unease. Something is out in these woods. My predatory nature senses that what ever it is, it is formidable.
I quicken my pace, aware how easily Lily could catch me moving at an unnaturally fast speed, but the combination of the worsening storm and the growing wariness I feel about keeping Lily out here in the woods with what ever it is that is out here with us, has me throw caution to the wind. We arrive back at the yurt in half the time it took us to hike out. As I stop to let Lily down she looks up in surprise at the yurt in front of us. “We are back already? I thought you were just putting me down to walk the rest of the way. How is that possible?” “Lily your so light I was able to move fairly quickly along the trail and I took a small short cut I hadn’t noticed on the way out” I hated to lie, but it was miniscule in comparison to the real truth and Lily’s safety was my only reason for chancing her seeing my ability.
We went inside the yurt and I quickly restarted the fire. Lily was cold and her hair glistened with melting snow. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and proceeded to dry Lily’s hair. When I had finished, her hair was a tussled mess, yet in my eyes she was never more radiant. As I stared down at her, my thoughts lingered on Victoria Thomas, the New Zealand trip, and the realization that in just two weeks, my newly perfect world was potentially about to be shattered. “You have that look again, like you might puke. Are you sure you’re ok?” she asked, stroking my cheek with her chilled fingers. “I’m fine; I was just thinking of this storm, I hope it doesn’t complicate our return trip home in the morning.” My reply wasn’t a complete lie. The storm was whipping up outside and it is not unheard of to have a foot or more of snow drop in a very short time with the lake effect in the region. “Stuck in a secluded cabin in the woods with the man I love, doesn’t seem so awful to me.” She said as she slid by me on the way to the bathroom. “How about we warm up in the shower? The hair style you have given me leaves a lot to be desired.” “Why don’t you start and I will join you in a few minutes. If we are going to be stuck here I want to bring in a lot more wood so we don’t have to go out tonight in the mid
dle of a storm in the dark.” I replied. In addition to the New Zealand concerns, there was still a nagging sense of a presence in the woods that I needed to check out. It definitely had Pumpkin bothered and something about it made me uneasy. “Ok, I’m going to take a super hot shower, lately this winter weather has me cold to my core. The only way I can seem to warm up is if I cook myself for a while under the water. I’ll try not to use up all the hot water, but don’t be too long.”
While Lily went into the shower I ducked out into the swirling snow storm. It was difficult to smell anything, the air so cold and wet, too turbulent to pin point any scent. I decided to take a quick run around the perimeter of the woods to see if I could sense what ever it was that had me on edge. I was just rounding the far side of the lake when I felt a sensation I had never felt before, a shooting pain in my right ankle, like I wrenched it, followed by a vivid feeling of fear. “Lily.” I knew as I said her name she was in trouble. It was her pain and fear I was sensing. A wave of panic enveloped me. Lily was in trouble and I left her alone. I ran, fueled by my need to protect my love, and pushed to the limit my abilities of strength, power and speed. When I arrived back at the yurt I could hear Pumpkin inside. Her snarls and bark, so vicious, I could hardly conceive they were coming from the same dog I knew. I threw open the door, desperate to make sure Lily was safe. Pumpkin in her frenzied state lunged at me as I crossed the yurts threshold. As she sunk her teeth deep into my thigh, I tried to find a way to stop her attack without hurting her. I could feel her tearing the tissue of my quad and felt the wet, sticky sensation of blood running down my leg. I was finally able to grab her, and separate her from my thigh. I wrapped one hand around her muzzle, preventing her from biting me further. I spoke soothingly to the dog, looking her in the eyes as I spoke. She finally seemed to recognize me and stopped thrashing in my arms. When I released her from my restraining grip she darted to the open yurt door and emitted a long menacing growl, her hair raised on her back. As I closed the door, I finally registered Lily’s screams coming from the bathroom. The fear in her voice pushed me forward and as I ripped open the bathroom door I found Lily, sprawled on the floor, soaked, with a towel partly covering her naked body, hands wrapped protectively around her right ankle. “Lily, what happened? Are you hurt?” “Oh Max, it’s my ankle, I think it might be broken. I was in the shower, when just after you left, Pumpkin started going berserk. I could hear her barking and growling like she was the most vicious dog on the planet, not my sweet girl. I tried to jump out of the shower quickly to see what was wrong and I slipped and fell. I was screaming to Pumpkin trying to calm her, and then I was calling for you. Is she ok? What was she barking at?”
I picked Lily up off the bathroom floor and wrapped her in her towel. I brought her over to our bed and gingerly set her down. She winced as her right foot touched the mattress. Pumpkin had stopped barking and growling and now lay staring at the door to the yurt, a low whine occasionally escaping her muzzle. I stopped to assess the damage to Lily’s ankle. It was swollen and purple and could very well be broken. “I think we should get this checked out. Let me help you dry off and dress, there is a hospital a few miles from here.” “Max what happened? Why was Pumpkin acting so crazy?” “Something definitely scared her, but I have no idea what it was. When I was out getting the wood, I tried to take a look around to see if there were any tracks or signs that something had come close to the yurt, but with the storm I couldn’t find any signs of an animal or anything else that might have spooked her. Then I heard you screaming and rushed in to see if you were ok.” Just then Lily noticed my ripped and bloodied pant leg. “Oh my goodness, Max what happened to your leg?” I looked down at my pant leg and noticed for the first time the amount of blood that had soaked into my jeans before my body could repair the damaged muscle tissue. “Oh, it’s nothing, a small scratch. I scared Pumpkin when I burst back into the yurt to help you; I guess she thought I was the thing that had spooked her. She didn’t mean to hurt me. Once she realized it was me she calmed down. “She bit you? Max I’m so sorry, she has never acted like this! I didn’t think she had an aggressive bone in her body.” Lily was obviously troubled by Pumpkin’s behavior. I quickly tried to sooth her. “Lily, Pumpkin was just doing what comes instinctually to her. She was trying to protect you. I don’t fault her for that, in fact I am glad she showed the capacity to defend you.”
I got together some clothes for Lily and when I returned to her side she was weeping quietly. “Oh Lily, is it that painful?” “No, actually, it feels a lot better. I’m just so worried about Pumpkin. She has been acting strange on and off for the past six months. I guess I’m afraid I’m losing her. She’s ten and I have had her since she is eight weeks old. Pure bread Labs have a life expectancy of around 10 years. Maybe she is getting senile or sick. Her behavior has been erratic and biting you, I just don’t know what to think.” “Lily, I’m sure Pumpkin is fine. Something spooked her. With the storm raging outside, all the strange noises, in a place that is unfamiliar to her, her response is normal. And even though she is ten, she has plenty of spunk in her.” I thought of the viciousness with which she attacked me earlier. “Look I’m sure she will be back to her old self once she gets home, and even if she is in her waning years, you don’t want to spend the rest of the time you have with her focusing on her eventual demise. When we open our hearts to love another we risk the potential pain suffered at the loss of that love. I realized I was not only thinking about Lily’s love for Pumpkin, but for my love of her as well. “I’m sure you would agree that the love, companionship and time you have shared together are worth the eventual pain of loss. However, if you spend your time worrying about losing what you have, you won’t enjoy what you have before you lose it. Now let’s get you dressed and have that ankle checked out.”
Lily composed herself and said “Your right. I’m sorry for acting like a blubbering child. I can’t dwell on the inevitable loss. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I am usually much more level headed.” “It’s hard to be level headed in affairs of the heart” I said as I helped Lily on with her clothes. As I handed Lily her pants I noticed her ankle did indeed look better. Had I imagined the bruise being worse? Yet now when I looked at it, her bruise was lighter and had a faint tinge of brownish green, often seen in a bruise that has been healing for a few days. After Lily finished dressing she stood up to test her ankle. As she got up and gingerly took a few steps she declared it to be fine, just a bad twist. At her insistence we would forgo our trip to the hospital. With the storm continuing to rage outside, staying put seemed like a good idea.
We cuddled up on the couch by the fire with Pumpkin curled up asleep at Lily’s feet. The excitement and emotion of the day has left Lily drained. We sat by the fire in quiet contemplation until Lily drifted off to sleep beside me on the couch. As I sat staring at the flickering flames listening to Lily’s rhythmic breathing I tried to organize the flood of thoughts swirling through my head. One more week of classes, followed by finals week and then the college is on winter break. We leave for New Zealand on December 20th and are scheduled to meet with Victoria Thomas on the 22nd and the witness to my attack on her family on the 23rd. We will spend two weeks in New Zealand to research vampires and follow the leads of Augustine Angelone. I try to think of the possible outcomes of my past colliding with my present. Perhaps time and the effects of age have erased any memory of me from the mind of the witness, I don’t have a concern that Victoria will remember me, she was only an infant not even a year old. But the witness was nine at the time, old enough to remember, hopefully now old enough to forget. Then there is the nagging feeling of unease about the presence in the woods. Lily mentioned Pumpkin has been acting strange for six months. I have only been in town close to Lily for the last four months. So, either Pumpkin is going senile, which I doubt, or possibly there is more to the presence in the woods than I first thought. Could something be tracking Lily as I had been? Or possibly tracking me? I find myself root
ing for senility, sorry Pumpkin, but the alternative leaves too many questions. And then there is Lily. I have to tell her the truth. We have vowed our love to one another, I know I must face the risk of losing her and tell her the truth. What life could we possibly have together without the truth being told? I know the answer is none.
I cannot hide my true self from Lily much longer. She is smart and observant. She has noticed things already like my speed. Soon she will see that I do not age or injure, or any of the other traits she has been researching for years. It is not possible to hide being a vampire from such a compelled researcher as Lily. As I think of this I notice I still have on my bloody pants. I quietly get up and change in the bedroom. I hide my pants in the bottom of my bag. I hope Lily forgets about the bite, as I have not a scratch on my leg, which should be torn and bruised were I not able to heal so quickly. After putting on sweats I notice a change in light as it comes in through the yurt window. It is nearly dinner time and I am sure Lily will wake with an appetite. I prepared a quick marinara sauce, as I had seen Lily do on the occasion I watched her from her neighbor’s tree, and put up some pasta to boil. I put a salad in a bowl and tossed it with a little vinegar and oil. I took out some Italian bread and gave it a quick toast and opened a bottle of red wine that we never drank on our earlier walk. I was determined to salvage the good feelings we had at the start of this trip. As I set the dinner on the table Lily begins to stir from her nap.
