by Bella Grant
Besides, the next time I made love to her, I wanted it to be with both our senses intact, conscious of what we were doing. The first time had taken both of us by surprise, and we’d plunged beneath the flow of a romantic moment. I wanted no doubt afterwards about what had taken place between us. The next time I drove my sword into the sheath of her body, she would want it as much as I did for what it was and not simply to the relieve her pain.
“Laurel,” I said, drawing back from her and pressing her head to my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you, and so are the girls.”
Chapter 23
Laurel
“Laurel, you look funny,” Anabelle commented.
I didn’t just look funny. I felt funny. Two weeks after my mother’s burial, we were seated in the dining room, just the three of us since Jarrod had already left for work. Mrs. Philpott had prepared her usual scrumptious breakfast with my eggs the way I enjoyed them. The scrambled eggs were malodorous this morning, and as though my senses were heightened, I could smell the fat of the bacon a mile away. And the scent provoked the desire to hurl.
“I’m fine,” I told Anabelle with a weak smile, but I was sweating and didn’t believe my own pronouncement. The last thing I wanted, though, was for the girls to tell their father I was not feeling well. Since my mother’s death, they all had taken a protective stance with me, trying to cheer me up.
At first, I hadn’t been sure how to break the news to the girls when they asked me why I was so sad. I didn’t want to lie to them, though. Death was a natural part of life, and as they grew older, they would have to learn to deal with it. So Jarrod and I were honest with them. They’d appeared somber for a while before mentioning softly that their mother had died too. Hugs and tears had followed. The girls were even closer to me, as though they embraced that we had something in common in losing a mother. When Jarrod recounted that he lost his too, they were open to him as well.
We had suffered the loss of someone we loved, and the past two weeks had been a time of mourning and comforting. But life had to go on, and this morning, I tried to break out of my pensiveness and take the children out to the mall for summer clothes shopping.
I forked some eggs into my mouth, and the bile immediately rose in my throat. “Excuse me,” I groaned and dashed from the dining room. I located the bathroom on the first floor and closed the door, barely getting to the toilet before throwing up. I retched over the bowl for a couple minutes before flushing and rinsing my mouth with mouthwash.
I stared in the mirror. My face was flushed. Dear Lord, what was wrong with me? Fear skittered down my spine, and I closed my eyes, leaning heavily against the marble top of the vanity. I’d missed my period. I hadn’t been concerned about it before because of the stress of my mother’s passing as well as the preparations for her funeral and coping, all of which could easily have delayed it.
It would be madness of me to ignore the fact that I hadn’t seen my period, was throwing up, and no longer had an appetite for foods I used to love. I started to suspect last week that I was pregnant. However, with Jarrod’s claim that he’d had a vasectomy, I didn’t expect to be pregnant. Unless it was Scott’s, but I highly doubted that too or I’d have started showing already. I’d also been on the pill with Scott and had stopped taking them when the relationship between Jarrod and I had been established as non-sexual.
Or it could be something else and not pregnancy.
Because I wanted to know and put the worry to rest, I looked up a doctor’s office and arranged an appointment the next morning. Jarrod was taking the day off work so we could take the children out, but it was the only time the doctor had available to see me.
I had the girls wash up and get dressed after they finished their breakfast. I did the same in the bathroom I shared with Jarrod. As I showered, I thought about the day he had visited me when I’d called to inform him about my mother’s death. Even in my grief, I had identified what he had done when he had broken our kiss. He had rejected me.
After losing my mother, it showed me how very fragile life was and one never knew when the last day with a loved one might be. While contemplating this, I’d thought of informing Jarrod that I changed my mind and wanted a physical and sexual affair with him, my husband. Why should I worry if he loved me or if he ever would? I would enjoy the moment for what it was. If he loved me, great, but if he didn’t, I wouldn’t be in any worse condition than I was already in.
The driver dropped us off at the mall, advising me to call him when we were ready to leave. We visited several shops, browsing and buying cooler apparel for the summer. They were shy about picking out what they liked, but Jarrod had made it clear I should get them anything they wanted. I wouldn’t let them walk away with some items that caught their attention, though, and objected to them getting lipstick, even when they argued their favorite Disney stars wore them. I did compromise and bought lip gloss and light-colored nail polish.
After the shopping—which in itself was exhausting—we bought ice cream and rested a little before discussing what we would do next. We discovered there was a skating rink, and since none of us had ever skated before, we decided it could be fun. They were excited and ate their waffle cones hurriedly before we continued to the skating rink.
Skating was fun; they were better at it than I was, and after falling on my ass several times, I decided to take a break and let them at it. I wasn’t sure if I was pregnant or whether falling would hurt the baby at this stage and thought it better to be safe than sorry.
We had lunch at Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries, then strolled through the mall again. We were walking from Hollister jeans where I bought a few pairs of jeans when I smacked into a hard, male chest.
“Oops, I’m—” The words died on my lips, seeing Scott, of all people. “Scott, what are you doing in Dallas?”
“I’d ask you the same question,” he returned, looking me up and down appreciatively. I was dressed in a mustard-colored, sleeveless dress with a flirty hem and brown, low-heeled sandals.
“I live here now,” I explained with a smile, surprised I had no grudge against him. Being with him felt like years ago instead of months. I’d forgotten about him. He was an example of loving someone who would never love you back. Like Jarrod?
“I have a photo shoot,” he explained, a hint of bragging in his tone. “It’s going well. I’m doing well. Why didn’t you come back? You ignored my calls and your mother wouldn’t let me talk to you. Your mother never did like me.”
Thinking about my mother hurt still, and tears pricked my eyes. “My mother didn’t have a problem with you,” I told him. “She had a problem with the way you treated me.”
“She’s not in Dallas too, is she?” he wanted to know. “How about we hook up and get some drinks.”
“My mother died, Scott,” I informed him, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“What? When did that happen? Why didn’t you call me?”
“Two weeks ago,” I replied sadly. “I didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“Of course I would have been,” he vowed and pulled me in his arms for a hug, patting my back. “You know I care about you, Laurel, even if I do mess up occasionally.”
“Thank—” The ‘you’ was smothered by his kiss as he claimed my lips with his. I was too surprised to react at first until I felt his tongue inching into my mouth. I pulled back in shock and horror that the girls standing behind me had seen the display.
“What the hell are you doing?” I demanded and stepped back from him.
“Kissing you,” he smirked in that annoying way of his. “You know, the way I usually do that makes you feel better.”
“Shut it!” I instructed him, pulling the girls forward from behind me. “I have children with me, and you overstepped your boundaries. You had no right doing that.”
He frowned at Anabelle and Isabelle, who were regarding him solemnly. “Whose kids are these?” he asked, his eyes full of laughter. “You’re a nanny
now?”
“I’m their mother,” I responded smugly.
“What? You’re not making any sense,” he remarked. “I know for sure you don’t have any kids.” He glanced from the kids to me and with uncertainty added, “Do you?”
“By marriage,” I filled in. “I’m their step-mother, but of course, I love them like my very own.” I glanced down at the girls affectionately, and they smiled back at me.
“You’re not…” He trailed off, catching a glimpse of the ring on my finger. He reached for my left hand and peered at the expensive wedding bands. “These look real,” he commented, then looked up at me suspiciously. “Just who did you marry? And so soon after we broke up? You were cheating too, weren’t you?” He flung my hand away from his in anger. “No wonder you were so quick to leave and not come back. You must have been glad you caught me cheating for an excuse to leave, weren’t you?”
I glared at him. “I don’t need to explain my marriage to you.” I turned to the girls, holding each by the shoulder and guiding them away from Scott. “Come on, kids, let’s go.”
“You know you miss me, Laurel,” he hollered at me.
Screw being nice and acting like an adult. He would only understand the language of asshole anyway. I flipped him the bird behind my back so the kids couldn’t see. Only one man was on my mind, and that was my husband.
Chapter 24
Jarrod
This trip to the Dallas Zoo had been planned for the children, but I had to be very careful I didn’t sound more excited than them. I’d taken the day off, and Laurel and I were supposed to take them together. She could have taken them on her own, but lately, I craved the family experience as well. I was no longer satisfied hearing about these awesome adventures they went on with Laurel. I wanted to live it with them. Being part of their memory during these activities was now important to me.
I glanced at my watch and the eager faces of the girls, who were chattering around a mouthful of breakfast. If Laurel was around, she would have told them not to speak with food in their mouth. I liked being the good parent while Laurel acted the disciplinarian, although they rarely did anything to be punished. Let her be the one to insist they eat their vegetables and couldn’t watch another episode of their favorite programs or that it was time for bed.
Laurel should’ve been down by now. When I’d told her earlier we were heading down for breakfast, she had mumbled she didn’t want any breakfast. I’d left her to catch a few more minutes of sleep, and she must still be asleep.
“I’m going to check on Laurel,” I told the children, getting to my feet. “If you’re done with your breakfast, go brush your teeth again before we go.”
“Yes, Daddy,” they responded in unison, and my heart blossomed with love. I never got tired of hearing them refer to me as Daddy or Dad. Thanks to Laurel. I believed her saying Daddy when referring to me rubbed off on them.
I climbed the stairs to the master bedroom, and just as I predicted, Laurel was still in bed. I approached her slowly and sat carefully on the bed. I didn’t want to startle her awake. Before waking her, I observed her in sleep. Her face was relaxed and her breasts rose and fell with her deep, even breathing. She was so beautiful. I wished I could undress and curl up into bed behind her, nestling her backside into my groin. I’d hold her like that until she woke up. Or I fell asleep.
Reaching up to brush a lock of hair from her face, I placed my hand on her bare upper arm and stroked her soft skin. “Laurel,” I called to her softly. “Laurel, wake up.”
A sexy, satisfied sound emitted from her throat. She shifted a little and her eyes fluttered open. A wide smile stretched her lips. “Jarrod?”
“Hey, wake up, sleepyhead,” I said, shaking her shoulder a little so she wouldn’t fall asleep again.
She groaned, rubbing her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Almost nine,” I responded. “If you don’t get up and shower, we’re going to miss the opening of the zoo.”
She groaned and sat up in bed. “I forgot to tell you yesterday. I can’t go to the zoo with you today.”
“I don’t understand.”
She started to push her way out of bed on the other side. “I’m going to be late. I have an appointment I can’t miss.”
“What kind of appointment?” I asked suspiciously. She hadn’t mentioned she had an appointment.
“Did I say appointment?” she asked on a nervous laugh. “I meant, I-I have something important to do.”
“Like what?”
“Something to do with my mom,” she said, walking to the bathroom. “I’m sorry I forgot t0 tell you, but it would do you some good to go with your children, just the three of you.”
“But Laurel—” She was already inside the bathroom and closed the door. I sat on the bed, staring at the bathroom door in confusion. I would have followed her inside to let her explain herself. She sounded confused about what she had to do, and why had she never mentioned it before?
She had a point, though. It would be great doing something with Anabelle and Isabelle without her for a change. Maybe she needed a day off. Her mother had just died, and she never stopped playing mother to the kids. But if she needed a day off, she could have said so. Why would she hide it from me?
I let it go and collected the kids for the drive to the zoo. After initially asking why Laurel wasn’t joining us, they didn’t seem perturbed that they would have to spend the day alone with me. I dismissed the driver, deciding it would just be us three today.
The zoo wasn’t far from the house, and we arrived some minutes after opening hours. Anabelle and Isabelle snaked their hands into mine while we walked, and the gesture was so sweet it brought tears to my eyes. If anyone had told me I would be a father, taking my kids alone to the zoo, I’d have laughed in their face. But there I was, and I was enjoying every moment of it.
The highlight of the day was the Wilds of Africa Adventure Safari monorail ride. I probably missed a lot because I watched the girls so much, marveling at the differences in them. They were excited and exclaimed they’d never been to the zoo before, and I felt pride that I was responsible for the smiles on their faces. Maybe I wasn’t such a horrible dad after all.
I paid for a private safari photographic tour for the girls, and while they were being instructed by the staff photographer, I rang Laurel to see if I could get her to change her mind.
“Hello,” she answered on the third ring.
“Laurel, we’re having a blast. You sure you don’t want to come on down to the zoo?”
“Umm…uh, yes, I mean no. I can’t,” she mumbled, sounding a bit disoriented. “Hold on.” She spoke to someone in the background while I waited for a few minutes before she returned. “Jarrod, I’ve to go.”
“Are you okay?” I queried, convinced there was something going on she wasn’t telling me. “Where are you?”
“At the doctor’s,” she replied in a far-away voice.
“The doctor? Why?” I remembered her saying she had an appointment this morning, but then she had changed it to say she had to do something related to her mother. Just what in the hell was going on here?
“Uh, nothing. It’s nothing,” she answered. “A routine check-up.”
“Are you sure?” I didn’t believe her one bit.
“Yes,” she answered then added, “I may be home a little late today.”
“Why?”
“I may drive out to Taylor and back.”
“Why?” I asked again. “I don’t think you should go back alone. If you can wait a day, I’ll go with you tomorrow.”
“No, I want to go alone. Let the girls know. See you later, Jarrod.”
Dammit! She hung up before I could question her further. She was lying to me. Something was definitely going on, but what?
“Are you okay, Daddy?” Annabelle asked when they returned to me. I must have been frowning pretty hard for her to ask me that question.
“Yes,” I assured her with a smile for their benefit. “
I was talking to Laurel.”
“Is she coming?” Isabelle asked, and her eyes held such hope, I was sorry to disappoint her.
“She can’t make it,” I explained to them as we walked along to the next exhibit on our list.
“Is she still mad?” Anabelle inquired.
“Why would she be mad?” I asked, sensing they knew something I didn’t.
“Well, she seemed pretty mad that the man kissed her in front of us,” Anabelle explained innocently.
“Ouch, Daddy,” Isabelle cried, wiggling her hand that I had unconsciously squeezed tightly at Anabelle’s announcement.
“Sorry, dear.” I loosened my grip on her hand and nonchalantly asked Anabelle, “What man are you talking about?”
“The man at the mall yesterday,” she replied. “We were in the store when he kissed her.”
I didn’t want to question the girls about Laurel’s actions, but the revelation was too much for me not to find out more. Was the kiss friendly on the cheek or on the mouth? I couldn’t ask them that.
“Kissing on the mouth is yucky,” Isabelle added, answering my question.
Was she meeting someone else? Was that why she had suddenly decided not to go with us to the zoo today? I had to mentally prevent myself from letting the anger and disappointment ruin the rest of the day for the girls. Thank God they had a lot of activities to do and didn’t realize how somber I had become. I’d have never thought she would date someone else, although the nature of our contract said we could. Still, I thought the way we connected had meant something. Now I understood perfectly well why she’d said no to us forming a sexual relationship too. She already had one.
So many questions tripped around my brain for the rest of the day, and I was no closer to reaching an answer when we finally left the zoo. What I wanted to know was whether she’d had this man all along or if she had recently met him. No wonder she had wanted that clause in the contract so she could get out of this marriage if she had a mind to. How long did she plan on waiting before she broke the news to me that she was leaving?
