I knew from experience that Mathias could handle blood and hospital rooms better than most normal people, but Dr. Coffman didn't know Mathias the way I did.
“Mathias is actually really good in hospitals,” I said, hoping to ease any fears the doctor might have and to get my family near me faster. “And Mairin can be around blood.”
“I’m sure Mathias is good at many things,” Dr. Coffman said, “but I don’t want any distractions for you or my staff. Mathias seems to make my nurses forget what they’re supposed to be doing.” The doctor smiled and I felt myself grinning in return. Mathias did have that kind of effect on women, though if you asked him about it, he’d deny noticing. Mathias never saw anyone but my sister. “I need to get some blood drawn and sent to our specialists for some very specific tests.”
The terror I had been tenuously holding at bay leapt forward to cut off my breathing. I loved Xavier and the fact that he was a werepanther made no difference to me, but I didn't want that kind of life for myself. I wanted to be as close to normal as I was ever going to be considering my family.
“You think I’m infected, don’t you,” I said. Tears and panic warred with the terror until I felt I might drown under their weight. Xavier had always told me that weres were only contagious when they were in their animal forms. It was his excuse for the care and distance he used with me when he was in his panther form. What he'd never brought up was what happened if a wereanimal were only partially changed, as Lane had been. Was a partially changed were able to transmit the virus? The more I thought about it, I realized I'd never heard of a wereanimal who could change only part of themselves, or change back to their human form as easily as Lane had done. Either Xavier had been keeping secrets or Lane was an exception. Either way, there was no precedent I was aware of for my situation.
I loved Xavier and the fact that he wasn’t entirely human didn't bother me, but I didn’t want to have my life changed like this. I wanted to feel like I had some control over my future. I wanted to scream that it wasn’t fair. That I didn’t deserve to have this happen to me. But when I thought these things, I remembered that Xavier had been seven when a werepanther had infected him and changed his life forever. It seemed selfish and mean spirited of me to be so upset about a possibility Xavier had faced as a definite future when he had been much younger.
Dr. Coffman patted my hand. “Now, don’t get yourself worked up, Kerry. There’s never been a case like yours before. I’ve never even known of a wereanimal who could do a partial change, let alone come across anyone who had been attacked by a partially changed wereanimal. Until we’ve done the blood tests, we won’t know what to expect and speculation will only make you more apprehensive.”
“Where is she? Dammit, unhook this crap,” Xavier shouted. Metallic clangs and glass shattering echoed through the emergency ward. Several voices were raised in alarm while others attempted to soothe Xavier. He, however, was having none of it. His voice cranked up another notch and I could hear the beginning of a growl in his tone.
“Kerry? Kerr...babe...where are you?”
“In here, Xavier,” I said. The curtain ripped back and Xavier stood, shirtless, bruised, and panting in the opening. A rainbow of bruises, one of which looked suspiciously like the side of a football helmet, covered his chest. I grimaced, swallowing hard over the lump in my throat. I could have helped him had I not been engaged in bleeding to death in the parking lot. If I had just stayed with Mairin and Mathias.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
Xavier looked down at his chest and shook his head. “You almost get gutted and you want to know if some stupid bruises hurt?” He ground his teeth. “No, it doesn’t hurt. You know how fast I heal. As for you and the leech, there’s going to be some pain. I told you to stay with the leech and he let you go,” he snarled. “I’m going to rip his arms off and beat him with them.”
“Don’t blame Mathias, please,” I said, hiding a grin behind my hand. If I could have bottled the testosterone in the room right then, I could have marketed it as machismo max, a new cologne. Would there ever be a time when Xavier didn’t want to beat Mathias with something? “I was just going for a soda. I convinced him to let me go on my own.”
“Sir, you have to come back to your own cubicle. We weren’t done with our assessment.” A nurse put her hand on Xavier’s shoulder, but he shook it off quickly. Dr. Coffman shook his head at the nurse.
“It’s ok, Marie. Xavier can stay with us.” The nurse raised an eyebrow, but left without comment.
“Fine,” Xavier said, “if you did this, I’ll rip his arm off and beat you with it.”
I laughed and then groaned. Everything hurt. The gouges in the chest and the stitches currently holding them together throbbed and tugged with every breath I took. My arms and legs where the paramedics had drawn blood and strapped me to the gurney for the rough ride from Highland Home to East Hampton were bruised and sore. And worst of all, I was petrified. My entire body was tense with terror and that made everything else hurt more.
“Easy, dear,” Dr. Coffman said. “The cuts are new, they’ll take some time to heal. Unlike this strapping young man, you don’t heal so fast. I nearly had to re-break a bone in his hand before it knit wrong. Let me get the blood drawn for the tests so I can send for your sister.” He turned to Xavier, shaking his finger in Xavier’s face. “There will be no arm removals in this hospital, Xavier. Mathias‘ presence likely saved Kerry from worse injuries. You should thank him.”
“But what if...” Xavier’s stricken expression notched the rate of my heart up another few hundred beats per minute. It was clear Xavier was just as concerned about possible infection as I was.
“Is your life now worse than death would have been?” Dr. Coffman asked.
Xavier looked at me and then back at the doctor. “No. Death is worse. Much worse.”
“Then let us care for her most immediate wounds and we’ll deal with any other eventualities as they arise.”
When the technician came to draw blood, Xavier held my hand and watched everything but my face. It worried me that he wouldn’t meet my eyes. What if he didn’t want me if it turned out I had been infected? What if part of the reason he loved me was because I was human and not a panther? As the needle slipped into my skin, the pain was sharp and deep, but nothing compared to the pain I felt from Xavier’s averted eyes. This tiny slip of metal into my body was the beginning of the end of my life as I knew it. Though no one would say it, I could tell by the way Dr. Coffman and Xavier both looked at me and avoided meeting my eyes that they believed Lane’s partial transformation meant nothing when it came to his ability to infect me with the virus that would make me a panther. They believed I was infected. End of story. I would become a panther and hunt with the pride at the full moon. I would crave raw meat and I would heal like Xavier and the rest of the pride did. And I would never be myself again.
“How long, Doc?” Xavier asked when the tech had gone.
“Two days for the test results and maybe a third for analysis,” Dr. Coffman said. “There are a couple of newer tests I want to run. We want to be sure.”
Xavier nodded. “It’s seven days until the full moon,” he said softly. Every member of the pride knew the lunar calendar to the minute.
“Now don’t get ahead of yourself here, Xavier,” Dr. Coffman said. “We’ve never had a case where the panther, or any other type of wereanimal, was only partially transformed. There’s a very good chance that this young lady will escape this night’s activities with nothing more serious than a few scars.”
I took as deep a breath as I could around the stitches and bandages. “And what if...”
Dr. Coffman cut me off. “No ‘what ifs’ Kerry,” he said. “Let me get the results of the tests back and then we can work from there. Until I’ve had a chance to look at your blood, anything we discuss is pure speculation. I want more concrete information before I start talking about your possible future.” The doctor took a moment to look over Xav
ier’s bruises. “You’ll be fine in a few hours, boy. Don’t run into anymore quarterbacks this week, ok?”
“Well, he actually ran into me,” Xavier said, laughing. “But I’ll take it under advisement.”
“And no beating vampires with arms in my emergency room. I don’t have enough Xanax samples to calm everyone down. Remember that had Mathias not arrived as quickly as he did, the panther might have had time to fully change and do more damage than he did.” Dr. Coffman smiled at me. “You take it easy for the next couple of days, young lady. I’ll send your family back so they can take you home.”
Xavier kissed me and followed Dr. Coffman out of my cubicle so he could grab the rest of his clothes from the cubicle he’d vacated so violently when he’d awakened. As soon as I was alone, I gave in to the tears that had been threatening since my arrival at the hospital. I held myself, crossing my arms over the bandages and trying not to sob too hard or tear out any of the carefully placed stitches the nurse’s assistant had done to minimize scarring, and let the hot tears splash down onto my arms and the blankets unchecked. No matter what Dr. Coffman said, I was pretty certain my future was going to include fur. Becoming a panther wasn’t really such a bad thing, I supposed, but the choice had been ripped from me as it had been from every other panther I knew. The gut-wrenching pain I felt at having my future permanently and drastically altered by someone like Lane made me shudder with self-loathing. Xavier had gone through this at the age of seven. He’d been alone and the panther who attacked him had left him barely alive. Other than some minor annoyances, Xavier seemed to live a good life. He had never said anything to me about there being anything he wanted but couldn’t have because he turned furry once a month. I was just being a crybaby.
Mairin pulled the curtain to the side and I quickly scrubbed the tears from my face.
“Honey, you cry if you want to,” she said, sitting on the edge of my bed and letting me lean my head against her shoulder. My brain ran through the number of times during my childhood that I had sat with my sister just like this, letting her fix whatever I’d hurt or messed up. But this was something not even my indestructible sister could fix. I hitched in a breath and the tears came again. Mairin held me and rocked gently until I calmed down.
“I am so very sorry for failing to protect you,” Mathias said from the edge of the curtained area where he’d stopped. He hesitated before stepping past the curtain and into the cubicle.
“You should be,” Xavier said, stepping in past Mathias and turning to face the vampire. “But as the doc pointed out, if you hadn’t been there when you were, we might have had a worse outcome than we have.”
Xavier put his hand out and Mathias stared at it for a moment before taking it carefully. It was very rare for Mathias to touch anyone other than Mairin. “Thank you, Mathias,” Xavier said, “for saving Kerry’s life.”
Mathias released Xavier’s hand and bowed slightly. “I believe between the two of us, we stand even. You have protected and cared for Mairin as your own. So will I and my kind care for and protect Kerry as our own.”
“You’d think with a panther pride and vampire coven looking out for these two, they might be able to stay out of the hospital,” Xavier said, grinning.
“Yes,” Mathias said, “but they both seem inordinately attracted to danger and danger to each of them. We will have to work very hard.”
“When you guys are done with the mutual stroke fest, I’d like to take my sister home before my mother gets here and has her hissy fit in public,” Mairin said.
I laughed and then groaned, clutching my chest. “Don’t make me laugh,” I begged. The image of my mother swooping into the hospital and demanding information she wouldn’t understand was funny until I realized how deep the lack of understanding would eventually become when it came to my health and what I could and could not tell my mother.
“We should head back to Gram’s place,” Xavier said. “We need to figure out who this guy is and then make a plan to take care of him. I’m thinking it’s got to be the same guy who has been killing the girls in Highland Home and East Hampton. I can’t believe there are two rogue panthers in the area with a taste for brown-haired girls.”
I grimaced. I hadn’t realized that in the chaos of my attack, Xavier’s injuries, and the worry over whether or not I was infected with the were virus, I hadn’t told Xavier it had been Lane who had attacked me. I didn’t want to tell Xavier that his own father had attacked me, had intentionally attempted to either kill or infect me, at least not here, in public, where Xavier’s temper might get the better of him.
“Maire, did you tell Mom I got hurt?” I asked to divert the discussion away from my attacker.
Mairin shook her head. “I told her we’d come to the hospital to check on Xavier, but I didn’t say anything about the attack. I should have...”
“No, it’s better that you didn’t,” I said. “That way we can go to Elise’s now. If Mom and Tawnya knew, they’d insist on putting me to bed like I was five.”
Mairin, who had spent two months bound to our house, and very nearly tied to her bed when she refused to stay in it, after the incident in England nodded. “That was why I didn’t say anything. Dr. Coffman said the cuts weren’t that bad and the other...well he said we wouldn’t know if you were infected and even when we do know the outcome of the tests, there won’t be anything Mom and Tawnya can do about it.”
Xavier and Mathias both groaned. I saw Mathias pull on Mairin’s arm, only to release her when she turned to glare at him. Leave it to my plain-spoken sister to say what everyone else was dancing around. Her lack of tact in these situations was one of the reasons I adored my big sister. I could always count on her to give me the straight truth when others were trying to protect me.
“She’s right, you know,” I said. “We’re going to have to deal with my probable infection eventually. Just because no one else will say the words, ‘Kerry’s probably going to turn furry once a month,’ doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
“Doc said possible, not probable,” Xavier said. I glared at him.
“I try to live in the real world whenever possible, Xavier, you know that.”
He nodded and I saw his jaw clench. I knew he wanted to say something else, but was trying to control his temper while we were still surrounded by strangers. Rather than fight with me over my future, Xavier looked at Mathias. “Please tell me you brought something other than that sports car.”
“I had Alfred bring the SUV so we could take Kerry home without trying to fold her in half to fit in my car,” Mathias said, smiling at me. “Let us get to Elise’s home so we can begin planning how to take care of this rogue panther.”
“Wait, Mathias,” Xavier said. “I just need you to give us a ride to Gram’s place. This is panther business. The vamps aren’t involved.”
“Xavier, this man is a killer. He has proven that he is indiscriminate in his kills, taking whomever he feels is close enough to fulfill whatever sick instinct has him hunting for Kerry or women like her. Why would the pride wish to face down this kind of killer without help? I believe in using the strengths you have at your disposal. You have more than twenty vampires available to you right now. Why would you not wish to use that advantage?”
“Because it’s none of your damned business how we handle pride issues,” Xavier growled.
“I agree, Xavier,” Mathias said, maintaining a reasonable tone and putting space between himself and an obviously agitated Xavier. “But the panthers have come to our aid when it was requested or required. I wish to return the favor.”
“He’s right,” I said. “Xavier, you’re going to want to let the vampires help you.” I knew who the killer was. I couldn’t let Xavier go into this hunt when I knew his prey was the man who had fathered him. I knew what kind of damage a hunt like that would do to the man I loved and I knew I couldn’t ask Xavier to plot to kill his own father, but the vampires would be willing to kill Lane for him. If I could save Xavier from some
of the agony in this situation, I would.
Xavier looked at me as though I’d grown horns. “Kerry, this has nothing to do with the vamps,” he said.
“Whether this is pride business or not, Mathias is right. There’s strength in numbers. There are fewer than twenty panthers in the pride. With the vampires on our side, the pride doubles its numbers. The pride hasn’t found this rogue on its own yet, why not let Mathias and the other vampires help?”
Xavier threw his hands up. “Fine. But I’m going to remind you all that I was against this when it goes balls up with vampires and panthers scrapping with each other again. I’ll call Gram to let her know we’re on our way. How many vamps will there be?”
“I will contact Alfred. He will leave Gino in charge of the vampires at the house and come to help with the strategy and planning,” Mathias said. “I am well aware of your grandmother’s feelings regarding vampires in her home, so we will keep the numbers to a minimum at the house.”
“Maire, can you call Mom and let her know we’re going to Elise’s?” I asked. She nodded and followed Mathias out of the cubicle. The nurse came in and helped me pull a t-shirt over the bandages. Xavier sat in the chair in the corner, his head in his hands.
“I should have made you stay at Gram’s place tonight,” he said as he helped me out to the parking lot.
“I wouldn’t have stayed, and you know it,” I said. “We have to move forward, Xavier. We can’t second guess what can’t be changed.”
Xavier wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close as we rode back to Elise’s house. I could feel the tension in him and it broke my heart to know what I had to tell him was going to make things worse.
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