by Angela Blake
They didn’t have a good start to begin with, and the foundation for a lot of relationships is one of the most important things. It was like constructing a building. If your basis is shot then it doesn’t matter how well you built the rest of it, sooner or later, it’ll fall apart.
That’s exactly what happened to them.
It collapsed around Cara, and she was helpless to stop it, able only to watch the smoke and debris cover their memories.
“Stop that!” Lily called out as she threw a pillow at Cara.
It smacked her right in the middle of her face with a whack. “Stop what? I didn’t do anything.”
“I can hear you thinking from all the way over here.”
“She’s not wrong. I can barely hear myself not think over here.” Mike complained good naturedly.
Cara shrugged. “I can’t think now?”
“Not if your train of thought is going where we think it’s going.”
The couch shifted under her, and Lily got up to walk over to Cara. She made Cara scooch, and she curled up next to her. “What’s up, Car?”
“I was just thinking about my relationship with Jack,” Cara confessed. “I know I shouldn’t be, and especially because of everything that went down, and my reaction to it.”
“Honey, nobody should tell you how you should or shouldn’t think. Besides, relationships, pain, and love are all subjective. You can’t look at other people, and compare your experiences and think that you should be over it by now.”
Cara bit down on her lip. “What I don’t get over it?”
“Then you don’t,” Mike said from his spot. He picked up the remote, and paused the movie. “Some people you don’t get over, Car. You just learn to live with the pain, and that’s okay too. Nobody can force you to get over him.”
Cara nodded.
She did feel pressure to be done with this.
Not from their end though.
It was pressure that she placed on herself because of the way she perceived others around her.
“Is it crazy that I’m actually considering what he said?”
Lily shook her head. “Not at all. You’re only human, after all. I’d be surprised if you weren’t.”
“You thought he was the love of your life, Car, and he thought you were his. That’s not something you can just snap your fingers and forget.” Mike said softly as he sat next to her on the other side.
“Sometimes, I wish I could,” Cara admitted.
“We all do, but these experiences wouldn’t make us who we are, and listen if you give him a second chance, or you don’t that’s up to you. We’ll support you whatever you decide,” Lily said, gently.
“Just try not to let nostalgia color your decision.” Mike advised. “When you guys were good, you were great, but when things got ugly, things went south very quickly, and that’s not norJack. There was too much toxicity in that relationship.”
“Yeah, it took getting out of it for me to realize that.”
“It’s okay. The important thing is you know yourself better now, and if you do decide to take him back, make sure the boundaries are set from the start. He won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself,” Lily cautioned as she briefly squeezed her shoulder.
“When did you both get so wise?” Cara teased.
Lily stuck her tongue out, and Mike pretended to look offended.
“We’ve always been this wise; you’re only just noticing it,” Lily announced as she waggled her eyebrows.
“It’s not our fault you can’t appreciate how awesome we are,” Mike announced nonchalantly as he brushed imaginary lint.
“In the future, I will attempt to do that more,” Cara commented, very dryly.
***
“Should we wake her up?” Lily whispered from somewhere far away.
Cara was in the state between awake and asleep, and she was hovering on the edge of dream land. She snuggled deeper into the blanket not wanting to open her eyes and face reality again.
“Nah, let’s let her sleep for a bit. After that confession yesterday, she needs it. It is emotionally draining.” Mike said, gently.
“How did she handle it? In your opinion, I mean?” Lily asked.
Cara peaked one eye open, and saw Mike and Lily sitting cross legged across from each other. They had identical somber expressions on their face, and they hadn’t noticed that she was partially awake.
It wasn’t a bad thing.
This gave her a chance to see what they really thought.
“I think she handled it quite well. Much better than last time. When things went down, and she had to walk away, you should’ve seen her face. The amount of devastation, it was like the light in her eyes was snuffed out.”
“I remember seeing a part of that,” Lily murmured as she wrung her hands together.
“Yeah, that was just skimming the surface. Living with her was like living with a zombie. She just kind of trudged around the house, barely eating, and giving monosyllabic responses. She dropped like twenty pounds then.”
“Well.” Lily straightened up. “Regardless of how she was back then, we can’t let that happen again. Last time, we were barely able to reach inside of that bottomless pit she was in, and pull her out. We can’t risk her coming that close to the darkness a second time.”
“I agree we can’t, but what can we do?” Mike twisted his lips into a frown. His eyes shining with worry.
“Do you think it’s a good idea for her to be entertaining the idea?”
Mike looked confused for a second before comprehension dawned on his face. “Taking Jack back you mean?”
“Yeah.”
Mike sighed. “I’m not sure, to be honest. Initially, I would’ve said hell no, and I would’ve torn you to shreds for even asking me that, but right now…”
“Right now?” Lily pressed.
“You didn’t see the look on his face, Lil. I’ve never seen that look before, and I hung out with them a lot, so I knew him pretty well.”
“What kind of look was it?”
“Deep and profound regret. This was a guy who knew what he lost. He finally got it. I think up until that point he thought he could come back again. However, he didn’t think she’d actually say no, and tell him to basically either get his act together, or to go screw himself.”
“I would’ve liked to see that.” Lily smiled at the thought.
Yeah, Lily and Mike would’ve definitely enjoyed watching Cara letting Jack have it. It was liberating, in the best possible way.
“Me too. It’s too bad I had a phone call at the same time.” Mike sounded annoyed at the prospect. “Anyways, when we first arrived at the hospital, I caught a look that flashed across his face, and it was love, Lil. He still loves her.”
Cara tried not to make a sound.
She was sure that he didn’t love her anymore.
Or maybe that was just what she wanted to tell herself.
If he didn’t love her then that would make what he did more bearable. Hurting someone you never loved like that was crappy, but it happened sometimes.
Twisting the knife in when it was someone you loved deeply was worse. It made what he did much harder to swallow.
Loving someone shouldn’t be that hard.
It should be much simpler.
People made it so much more complicated than they needed it to be, and they complicated it to the extent where it was no longer its purest form.
Love wasn’t hard.
People made it hard.
“Even if he still loves her, that doesn’t mean she should take him back.” Lily’s tone was sharper than she intended, and she realized it She clamped her mouth shut, and exhaled. “I’m not trying to be harsh, and I don’t think I’ll tell her this because she should make this decision on her own, but still.”
Mike placed his hand atop Lily’s and squeezed. “It’s okay.”
Lily smiled gratefully. “She
’ll figure it out, I’m sure. Cara might wear her heart on her sleeve, but she usually makes the right decision in the end.”
***
The doorbell was ringing.
Cara’s eyes fluttered open, and she sat up on the couch gazing around in confusion. Mike and Lily walked in, but their faces were completely hidden by flowers.
Two men came in with more flowers, and they placed them all over the living room at Lily’s behest.
Cara blinked, sure that she was dreaming.
“You’re awake.” Lily gave her a toothy grin. “Good, look what just arrived.”
“I can see that. Are we starting a greenhouse?” Cara raised an eyebrow, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.
“You know that I do have a green thumb.” Mike joked as he grunted with effort.
“Not that I don’t want to be supportive, but it’s too much, isn’t it?”
“It’s for you,” Lily announced as she motioned Cara to come over.
Cara titled her head, and picked up the card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, one rose for each day that I’ve loved you.”
Mike and Lily were reading over her shoulder. Cara turned to face them, and Mike wrinkled his nose. “That’s way too cheesy.”
“It’s cute though,” Lily offered.
Chapter Seven
For the next few weeks, Cara began receiving gifts.
Like clockwork.
Everyday she’d receive something different.
Her favorite flowers-roses on one day, the next day her favorite chocolate, and sometimes things like her favorite book, or her favorite food.
It was sweet.
However, she couldn’t really say that it was enough.
Of course, she appreciated it, but she didn’t need a man who thought his wallet could fix their problems. That wasn’t a good attitude to have, and it wasn’t productive.
They had issues. Serious issues that they needed to work on.
And they weren’t of the financial kind.
It wasn’t that simple.
Not even close.
She rolled her eyes as she came home from work, and realized that she had yet another thing waiting for her.
A copy of book she’d been meaning to read since forever.
Cara shook her head and threw the book on the couch. Why couldn’t Jack just reach out? She didn’t want fancy gifts. She needed a heart to heart conversation, and that was exactly the kind of thing Jack was a pro at avoiding.
He could talk about the most random nonsense for hours, but the second someone said something even remotely emotional, he clammed up.
At first, it was endearing.
Towards the end, it became heartbreaking.
Cara plopped onto the couch, and idly glanced at the book out of the corner of her eye. She kept eyeing as if it were some kind of snake that was ready to hiss and strike.
It was a harmless book.
Yet, it had so much power over her.
The sad thing is he hadn’t even tried to call.
Not once.
Perhaps, if he tried to call, Cara would feel more kindly towards him, but he hadn’t, and she wasn’t sure why.
Was it because she let him have a piece of her mind when she last saw him? Was it because he was afraid she was going to ask him to stop?
Whatever it was, it was powerful enough to keep him from doing something as simple as dialing a number.
Cara propped her feet up on the table and sighed as she began to massage her temples. She picked up the remote and switched on the tv.
The sound of the door unlocking made Cara pause and turn around. She smiled when she saw Mike come in through the door with bags of food.
“Mm.” Cara stood up and stretched. “That smells good.”
“I picked up some Chinese food on my way back.”
“That’s why I beat you home.” Cara hovered above the food, and inhaled deeply. The rich smell of exotic spices filled her nostrils, and her mouth began to salivate at the thought.
“Here I thought I was getting faster than you,” Cara teased as she went around to the kitchen, and began to grab plates and utensils. She opened and closed cupboards as she searched for what she needed then brought them over.
Mike snorted. “You? You’re not the fast and the furious, Car. Dream on.”
Cara stuck her tongue out. “One can hope.”
“Lily is coming too, by the way. She should be here in three, two—”
“Why is there a countdown to announce my presence?” Lily asked as she came in through the door and shut it behind her.
She unwound her scarf from around her neck, slipped of her jacket, and brushed some snow out of her hair.
“Because it’s more fun that way.” Mike responded.
“You’re such a geek sometimes, Mike,” Lily joked. “Lucky for you, we are too.”
“I know, right. Just my luck though, the only two girls who are as geeky as I am, and they’re not interested in me, and I’m not interested in them.”
“Can’t win them all,” Cara said as she put some food in her mouth and began to chew.
“Doesn’t mean you can’t try.” Mike quipped as he served some food to Lily as well. They all sat around joking, and laughing as they ate their Chinese food, and debated what to watch.
***
“Please don’t make me do it.”
“You have to.”
“No, I don’t. You can’t make me.”
“But, we can. It’s two against, and do you really want to take us on?”
They were all sitting on the couch across the room from the tv, and they had just voted on what to watch. Usually, they decided based on voting, and just to keep things fair, they didn’t include overly sappy movies or shows since it was one guy and two women.
Tonight, his luck was out though.
They were trying to decide between The voice US or Doctor Who.
Both of them really loved Doctor who, but tonight they weren’t in the mood for science fiction, they wanted something funny. Thus, The Voice was their choice for the night.
Mike huffed. “Come on. Why?”
Cara raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who made the rules, Mike. Majority rules.”
“Why did I have to make that stupid rule, anyways?” Mike grumbled as he sunk into the couch and crossed his arm over his chest like a petulant child.
“Because you are a wise young grasshopper.” Lily popped a prawn into her mouth and chewed loudly.
“Besides, you like The voice just as much as the rest of us, you just don’t want to admit it because you’re trying to protect your rep or something,” Cara added cheerfully.
“Rep? What rep?” Lily asked in between mouthfuls of food.
“Exactly, you guys have ruined my rep. Whenever the guys come over here to hang out, you always act all girly and frilly. Then you start talking about which shows I watch with you.”
Cara blinked innocently. “A mere oversight on our part.”
“Mere oversight?” Mike raised an eyebrow. “Mikeycins? Or whatever the hell it was you called me.”
“Opps.” Lily shrugged.
“Opps? That’s all you have to say to me.”
“Well, we could say sowwy, but you hate the baby voice,” Cara commented, very dryly.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Maybe we should call the guys, and tell him that it’s our time of month, and we decided to gang up on Mike,” Lily mused, a wicked grin dancing on the edge of her lips.
“Oh, God. Please, don’t.”
“Why? Aunt flow does visit, you know. Why are you so squeamish?” Cara nudged him. Mike was beginning to look very uncomfortable.
“I’m not squeamish, I just would prefer not to hear about it. Not now, not ever.”
Cara and Lily gave each other a look before they grinned mischievously.
“I mean, you don’t want to w
atch The voice together, so we’ll have to find some other way to amuse ourselves,” Lily wondered.
“Speaking of amusement, did I tell you that my flow last month was a bit lighter than usual?” Cara snickered.
Mike’s face went pale. “Um, I really don’t want to hear about this.”
“Really? Mine was a bit heavier. It’s strange really, it was like…”
Mike clamped his hands on both their mouths. “Alright, alright. You guys know how to play dirty. You win. The voice it is.”
Lily laughed. “We knew you’d see things our way.”
***
“Boo, come on!” Cara yelled. “That contestant was awesome. Why would they not turn around for her?”
“I don’t know. She felt very generic,” Lily chimed.
“She was not generic, she had that Latina vibe going.” Mike commented.
“Sure, but that’s not enough. It’s called The voice not the look.” Cara rolled her eyes.
Guys could be so narrow minded sometimes
More like, one track minded.
Mike perked up. “Do they have a show like that?”
“Probably not. Why would anyone want to watch a show where people are judged based on how they look?” Cara’s voice mirrored her confusion.
“I would watch that. There could be rounds where contestants have to pose in different articles of clothing. For example: bikinis, nurse outfits, short skirt and white top.”
“Mike, I say this because I care, you need a girlfriend,” Lily informed him, giving him a sympathetic look.
“Yeah, when are you going to ask Laura already?” Cara teased.
Mike fidgeted. “It’s not that I haven’t tried. I’m just afraid she’ll say no. I mean, she’s completely out of my league.”
“There’s no such thing, Mike. It’s just something we believe in High school because of the cliques, and the stereotypes. It’s not high school anymore,” Lily said, not unkindly.
“Alright, I’ll ask her.” Mike conceded. “Once you decide what you’re going to do about Jack.”
Cara drew back. “Come on, that’s hardly fair. That’s a completely different thing.”
