Wyler opened his eyes.
They were bloodshot.
“That’s fine, Ethan. I get it.”
Ethan had about enough of all of this. He could be in Boston helping his wife, and instead, on this gorgeous Sunday, he was playing ‘corral the drunk’.
It wasn’t high on his list of fun.
“You get nothing.”
“You let her be taken, and Elizabeth didn’t stop Bonnie. I lost Maeve and my last chance at a family.”
Well, that was vicious.
Ethan stared at him. “Last chance at a family, huh? So? What are we? Wait, don’t answer that! I know what you think about us. You left, and in the process, little children had to mourn you and their grandmother.”
“You know what I meant.”
He laughed. “Oh, did you mean the woman you swore you’d never marry because my mother, Catherine, was the only woman you’d ever love? That woman? The one you knocked up because you couldn’t grasp the concept of keeping your dick in a condom if you were having sex with someone?”
Wyler stared at him.
“Yeah, remember that talk, Dad? It’s where you said you wouldn’t get remarried. Then you show up one day married. You didn’t even invite your children. You did it behind our backs so I’ll just leave the reality there for you. You didn’t even call your children to tell them.”
“It was spur….”
He stopped him.
“We were your family, and you didn’t even invite us. We would have stood by you. We would have welcomed her. Instead, the downward spiral of stupid began on that day.”
“You should watch your tongue.”
“For who? I lost my father. His name was Timothy. He died on the rez, and I miss him every damn day of my life. He raised me and I became who I am because of my mother, when I was a child, and him, when I was a teen. Trust me, I don’t owe you anything but my anger. You’ve been gone a month. Guess who I didn’t miss?”
That stung.
Ethan saw the barbs hit their mark.
Oh, he could be that man. If Wyler needed tough love, he could find it in himself and let it go.
“When I came back, I forgave you because you saved my wife. I gave you a second chance. We all trusted our kids with you. We gave you the benefit of the doubt, Wyler, and you pissed it away. You got married, you became selfish, and you proved the measure of man you are.”
“So why come find me?” he asked, pulling on his handcuffs.
“I didn’t do it for me. I didn’t do it for Callen. I did it for TJ. We had to fill out his birth certificate, and we had to cremate his mother. You were gone. She died, he was born, and you ran like a fucking coward. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Wyler hid behind his matted hair.
He was a mess.
Ethan stared at him, and still, he felt compassion. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a brush. Callen always needed it when they traveled. Native hair was awesome, until it got knotted up like a rat’s nest.
He didn’t want his father to look like this. He didn’t want him to love the bottle more than his three sons, and he didn’t want to be angry with him.
He wanted to love him.
“Here, Wyler,” he said, tossing the brush into his father’s lap.
“Thank you,” he said, as he began pulling it through his hair. Ethan watched him, and he noticed something.
He looked like Timothy. When Wyler was younger, they looked alike, but now that he had seemingly aged overnight, his father looked more like the man he idolized.
It was ironic.
In that month, Wyler had changed, and not only because of his boozing.
“Why are you bringing me back for TJ if you hate me so much?” he asked. “You’d think you’d want me out of the picture.”
He knew it would be easier to not think about him, and then one day hear his father had died. It would be easier to hate him, but Ethan recalled the note he’d found.
It was all written in the stars.
Timothy had seen it.
Here were his six baby birds in the nest. Timothy had been right, so he was going to lead with his gut on this one.
“You left us as children, Wyler, and I’m not going to accept that for TJ. He’s already lost his mother. He only has you left.”
“I don’t want him.”
Okay, they’d play that angle. If anything, Ethan knew the man. He wasn’t shocked he’d said it.
“Fine.”
He reached into his bag and pulled out the papers. He’d make the next move in this game.
“I figured as much. Here’s the paperwork. Callen has three children, and I’m about to have my third. I’m going to adopt Timothy Jackson James as my own. He’s a Blackhawk. I refuse to let him feel lost. From this day on, I’ll be his father. At least I won’t walk out on him for a bottle of whiskey and easy pussy.”
Wyler lifted his head.
“I’ll sign. Then you can let me go. I have a date with death.”
Ethan had hoped he’d put up a little fight. Anything to show that he did care. Little did Wyler know that he wouldn’t let him die.
Not for him.
Not for Callen.
Not even for Elizabeth.
He was going to save him for the six little kids who loved him.
He pulled a pen from his pocket and handed it to his father. “There you go, Wyler. Kiss one more kid goodbye, and I’ll do your job for you. Someone has to love that baby. We’ll handle it. I never thought I’d take Timothy’s role. One day, I hoped to look up to the man who helped give me life and find someone who’d lead. I was so wrong about you.”
Wyler put the point on the paper.
“Why couldn’t she save her?” he asked, not even looking up. “She saves everyone, but why couldn’t she save Maeve? I did this to her. I knocked her up, and I brought her into this family. I killed her.”
Ethan stared at him.
There was no way his father was saddling Elizabeth with this guilt. He was going to set him straight to protect his wife.
She was his concern now.
“For your information, Wyler, after Bonnie took her, your WIFE betrayed mine. She took the offer of luring Elizabeth into the open for her own life. She bartered her life for the mother of five children. So, before you start passing blame or casting judgment, think about that. Why did your wife have to betray OUR family?”
Wyler lifted his eyes.
There was anger there.
“She didn’t.”
“She did. For the last month, Elizabeth has been beating herself up over this. She’s been having nightmares, since she’d been forced to cut TJ from his mother’s body. She’s been restless, heartbroken, and suffering because your wife tossed mine to the wolves to save her own ass. Maybe you should ask why Maeve thought she was worth more than someone else in the family?”
He opened his mouth.
“Then you should ask yourself why we shouldn’t hate her for her mistakes. She let Bonnie and Amara get close to our kids. Amara, a woman who raped a nun with an ax handle, was holding Charlie. Know what she would have done to her?”
Wyler’s lip quivered.
He didn’t want to think about it.
He didn’t want to even go there.
Still, the truth was there, staring him in the face. As he sat there, he could picture it, and it had the desired effect.
Wyler didn’t feel so well.
And he didn’t think it had anything to do with the booze he’d consumed.
“She would have raped her, too, destroying my daughter. She would have cut out her eyes, removed her little tongue, and then burned her feet until they were crisp embers.”
Wyler began gagging.
Ethan pointed at the vomit bag.
If that made him sick, he should be prepared for what was coming.
It wasn’t going to be pretty.
Ethan went in with zero mercy and nothing but the cold, hard facts.
“Sh
e would have cut her open, removed her organs, and then fed them to her, all while that poor baby was alive. That’s what Amara was capable of, and YOUR wife invited her in because she was BORED and a spoiled brat.”
Ethan’s eyes filled with tears.
“That’s my daughter. She’s the ONLY reason I survived that abduction and didn’t give up. YOUR wife, the woman you chose over us, nearly got her hurt. So, ask yourself why MY wife, would still rush into the woods to save her.”
Ethan let it hang there.
When he saw that Wyler wasn’t going to answer, only then did he continue.
There was no mercy.
“I wouldn’t have tried. I wouldn’t have been so kind. If anything, you should be saying you’re sorry to her. You turned on Elizabeth. Before Maeve, you loved her as your own. You didn’t only abandon me, Callen, and Timothy, but you abandoned a woman who called you father. You replaced Charlie, her dad. She loved you as if you were hers, and you left her too.”
He wiped his eyes.
“So, Wyler, get off your fucking high horse. Maeve made a deal with the devil, and it exploded in her face. I don’t feel bad for her. I can’t. I do feel bad for the six kids you left behind, for Bethe who began calling you grandpa. I feel bad for my wife who lost you only once in her life. That first time hurts the most. Callen and I expected it and waited for it to happen. She didn’t. And for that, I really can’t stand looking at you.”
Wyler stared at his son.
“I’m sorry.”
Ethan opened his laptop and glanced over at him. “I’ve heard that more times than I care to remember. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your game, Ethan. I’m sorry I missed your birthday. I’m sorry on the day your mother died I was drunk in some bar, fucking some woman to forget my life sucked. I’m sorry I didn’t hold your hand when Timothy buried her. I’m sorry that I wasn’t man enough to hold you when you cried.”
Wyler began shaking.
“How about Callen? I’m sorry I left you with Charlene. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Callen, when she didn’t feed you for days. I’m sorry for when you had to find something clean to wear.”
Wyler didn’t even fight the tears.
“Want to know why your son only wears one kind of shirt?” Ethan asked.
Wyler didn’t speak.
Oh, he wasn’t getting out of this that easily. It was time Wyler was hit with one hell of a nuclear truth bomb.
From him.
“Well, do you?” he asked.
“No.”
Yeah, he bet.
Still…
“I don’t care. You deserve to know. He only had ONE shirt growing up. He’d wash it in a sink in Charlene’s filthy cabin so he was clean. He did it so kids wouldn’t pick on him, and it carried on into his adult life. It’s easier to wear the same thing so he can REMEMBER where he came from.”
Ethan pointed at him.
Wyler didn’t speak.
“He did it out of protecting what was left of his soul. He did it in shame. Now he does it because he gets comfort from the ease of seeing fifty of the same white button-down shirt hanging in a closet. To this day, your forty-two-year-old son still does it because his past as a child was destroyed. You fucked us all up.”
Wyler sobbed.
Oh, Ethan wasn’t done.
“Know why I know that, DAD?” he asked. “I know it because I sat through months of therapy to put my brother back together again.”
Wyler looked up
“Yeah, therapy he needed to repair his soul. How about sorry, Callen, when Charlene’s druggy boyfriend burned your arms? How about I’m sorry, Callen, that I wasn’t there when she offered up your son for sex so she could get high? Hey! It must be a theme. You were off getting drunk. It’s a fucking miracle Callen isn’t addicted to something or have HIV.”
Wyler stared at him.
“No.”
“Yes. How about that, Dad? How about I’m sorry for all the times he was raped? Twenty-three times, Wyler.”
Ethan let that sit between them.
He let Wyler digest it.
When he was sure it hit home, only then did he continue to share the truth.
“That’s one burn on his arm for each rape. He has to look at them each and every day. He has to remember that NO ONE wanted him. That NO ONE cared if he was being violated by some pervert for drugs. How about we say sorry for that? Still, he put his faith and lives of his children in your hands. He has a huge heart and won’t blame you, but he’s a better man than I am. I blame you.”
Wyler shook.
“You stuck your dick in your wife and I was made. You cheated on her, and stuck your dick in Charlene. Surprise! You made another son. Fast forward forty-four years. You bone the housekeeper, and you have your next son.”
Wyler blinked.
“Oh, let’s not forget the cuckoo who abducted Elizabeth and was killing pregnant women to make medicine wheels out of their fetus bones. You screwed some Native-obsessed woman and got her pregnant too.”
Wyler sat there.
“Do you see the pattern? It’s not us, Wyler. You have created four men, and one killed people to get your damn attention, I stole cars to feel anything but self-loathing, and Callen slept with anyone to feel love. Poor TJ. He should have died. His life will suck once he finds all of that out.”
Wyler stood.
“Don’t say that!”
“Heath.”
The big man headed his way. “If you stand up and move for the director, I will shoot you in the dick. Then you can’t screw anyone up.”
Wyler sat.
“Thank you, Heath.”
Ethan focused on him.
“We took you back. We loved you. You were our dad, and for the first time in our lives, we were okay with our childhoods because it brought us here.”
He pointed at the floor.
“We only wanted love from you. We wanted you to take us hunting. We wanted you to show up on a Saturday morning when other kids were building a canoe with their fathers, so you could help us.”
Wyler had never seen him this angry.
“We wanted you to care a little bit. We wanted your love so much that we wore the Blackhawk shame as you were stealing wives, getting drunk, and destroying us from afar. That’s how I met Callen, Dad. Bullies were beating him up and mocking YOU. Do you know what he did?”
Wyler shook his head.
“He fought five boys alone to defend your honor. It’s laughable, but I joined him. We fought for you. Do you think it was fun being a Blackhawk? We were a joke because everyone knew what you were like, and we still wanted you. We would have crawled on glass after you to have a dad. I will NOT let TJ feel like that. I won’t make him degrade himself for love. I may suck at hunting, but I’m going to do it. Callen may suck at building, but he’s going to do it. He’ll have us since you don’t care to ask how he is.”
Wyler needed this truth.
It would set him free.
Ethan hoped.
“We both craved that one, pathetic attachment to a man who is too selfish to get it. You should apologize to all of us. I’m not going to let you do this to TJ. We didn’t have our father to fight for us. We only had Timothy, but he’s crossed. He can’t do your job for you anymore. He’s not here to clean up after you. I am, and I don’t have the love of a father for his asshole son, who knocks women up and bails when it gets hard.”
Wyler wiped his eyes.
“No, this falls to me, and I’m going to fight for that baby. He’s my brother, and I’ll love him as my son.”
“How is he?” he asked.
Ethan stared at him.
“He was born premature, and they think he is deaf in one ear.”
Wyler stared at him.
“No.”
“Yes, Dad, but don’t worry. We’ll love him to death. We’ll teach our other children that he’s still the same and they’ll protect him. Cat loves him already, and she feeds him and tells him about you.
”
Wyler sobbed.
“EJ and CJ tell him that he’s special because his name is only initials too. They told him he’ll be their sheriff when they play cowboy and Indian.”
Wyler didn’t know, and now he felt even worse.
“The Blackhawks are rallying around him. He’ll be fine. He’ll be my son, and I’ll be proud of him. I sure as hell won’t let a day go by where I don’t tell him I love him. His ‘mother’ will too. She’s already begun studying sign language in case he loses the hearing in his other ear.”
It was too much for him.
“Then why are you bringing me back?”
“Because he deserves to be held once by the man who brought him into this world. When I was an infant, you never held me, did you?”
“No.”
“Or Callen?”
“No.”
“Well, my brother will have that at least. You get to look him in those innocent eyes and tell him goodbye. You will also say goodbye to our kids. If you’re going to walk away from CJ, EJ, Cat, Charlie, Christopher Anthony, and even Bethe, you’re going to be man enough to tell them why.”
Ethan turned in his jet seat and ignored his father.
He was done.
Was he brutal?
Yes.
Did he regret it?
No.
He needed to put these demons to rest, and this was the way to do it. Wyler Blackhawk had held all of them hostage long enough. It was time to kiss this burden goodbye.
It was now off their backs, and on the man who created it.
Wyler had to bear his own sins.
Not his kids.
Not anymore.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Boston
He saw her, and she would be perfect.
God!
He loved his job.
As he wandered around, he was able to find all the women he’d wanted for this. While randomly finding women who would work, he wanted to make sure he found the perfect ones as he tried to achieve that perfect masterpiece.
They had meaning.
They were special.
Like with this new one that he was watching. He was going to be able to make something so amazing that people would be staggered by it.
Discarded by Fate Page 18
