by T. L Smith
She screams my name, the tears joining in.
I don’t know how long we lay there for, but we eventually we fell asleep. I wake to her getting dressed. She sees that I’m awake and throws my clothes at me.
“We need to go back, back to where it all began,” she says smiling, but her smile is laced with sadness.
We’re back to where it all started, the water calm below us. It’s still green, but the fences to get in have been wired shut and I had to make a hole for us to get in.
She stands at the top the swimming hole. It’s a long way down. I haven’t been here since the last time I was with her. The water looks stiller today than I’ve seen it before if that’s possible.
She laces her fingers through mine like she did the first time.
“I don’t want to be loved again. I just want yours,” she says, referring to what she said all those years ago, about wanting to love.
“One…” she starts the count, “…I don’t want to lose you.”
“Two…” she continues, her hand squeezing mine, “…I don’t know if I can breathe without you.” Her voice begins to shake.
“Three…” I finally say, exactly the same as last time, “…Isabelle needs you.” Her eyes close, then we jump.
We stay in the water, just the two of us, swimming and kissing. Getting lost in each other, remembering each other.
“I thought I loved him,” she says as I hold her, her back floating in the water. Her head on my shoulder. “He tricked me, he needed a child. It was part of his inheritance when his grandmother passed away. She left it all to him, thousands, and the condition was that he had to become a father first.”
“He used you?”
“He did. Then he disposed of me like I was nothing but trash.”
“You are anything but, Rose.”
“I know that now, Liam, but the thought of it still hurts. Though out of all of it, I got her. So it was meant to happen, you know?”
“I don’t know.”
“Does it hurt you the thought of losing the person you love?” she asks me.
“I haven’t loved anyone, Rose.”
“You haven’t?” she asks, surprised.
“No…” I pause thinking on the question, “…but the thought of losing you hurts.”
“I’m glad, it means you care.” She smiles, swimming around so she’s facing me. Then her legs wrap around mine.
“You are a great man, Liam Black.”
“No! I’m not, Rose.”
“You are, you just don’t know it. Not enough people have told you. Listen to me when I speak it. You are a great man.”
“If you say so.”
He hasn’t left my house at all. He’s been here for two days straight. He’s waiting for something, but I’m unsure of what. I’ve been ignoring Robbie’s phone calls, unsure of what I should say, or be saying. Today I have Isabelle, and it just makes the day even better. I have to pick her up. Liam has been taking me to work every day and picking me up. Today I drove myself as I need to pick up Isabelle. I don’t know what he does when I’m at work, and I don’t really care, as long as he’s there when I come home.
Roger answers the door. He looks me up and down and sticks his nose up at me.
“He told you yet?” he asks, smugness in his voice, thinking he wouldn’t.
“Yes! You’re a fucking evil man,” I spit at him, wanting to throat punch the cunt.
“I’m surprised, you must be a better lay than you were before. Especially to hook a man like Black.”
“Oh really? I thought it was your small dick that was the shit lay.” He steps closer to me. His fist at his side is bunched like he wants to hit me.
“Watch what you say, Rose. I still have our daughter full time.”
“Please don’t threaten me.” Isabelle comes running out and straight into my arms. I don’t say goodbye. Instead I grab her bag and walk off with her.
I tell her on the drive about Liam that he will be at our house and she claps excitedly.
He’s at the door when I pull up. Isabelle runs from the car and straight into him, hugging his legs. He looks down, unsure of what to do. Then she tells him to pick her up like she understands that he doesn’t know. He does, and she wraps her little arms around his neck. His eyes are wide, and he looks to me for help. I walk past him, slapping his ass, and he laughs. The first ever laugh I’ve heard from him, and it stops me in my tracks. Making me turn to him, it’s a beautiful laugh.
“Don’t say a thing,” he warns. He puts Isabelle down to the ground and she runs inside.
He grabs my hand stopping me from going in after her. “I have someone here.” Panic sets in. I get my hand free and run inside to where Isabelle is and see her sitting on the floor talking to a little boy with blond curls.
“He’s harmless,” Liam whispers into my ear from behind me. “Hayden, you remember Rose,” he says, to which the little boy’s head turns around. His eyes are black. Shock radiates through me on a gasp.
“Hi, miss,” he says, turning back to Isabelle, who’s claiming his attention.
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll find out tomorrow. He’s staying the night.” My hands fly up to my hips, not because of the little boy—no child should be put through that—but because he’s saying what goes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this your house?” I ask. I’m just joking, but his face turns serious. His hand goes to pull his beard again, and all I want to do is pull that beard so his lips smash on mine.
“I can go,” he says, walking past me. And just as he does, I do what I’m thinking by pulling his beard and placing his lips on mine. I don’t let our kiss go long, too many little eyes around. But, boy, do I want those lips in other places as well.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” he says, breaking away. I smile and walk into the room. Hayden looks up to me and smiles. He looks thin for a kid his age. Like he isn’t eating enough.
“When was the last time you ate, Hayden?” I ask, and his little head turns to me.
“A day ago, miss,” he says like it’s not bad. I look to Liam to see him already cooking. I follow him in.
“They don’t feed him either?” I ask, my heart breaking for this kid even more.
“Not as much as he should be fed. That’s why he comes to me. I feed him and give him money.”
“Where would he be without you?” I ask.
“I don’t want to know,” is all the answer I get.
“Will you go to his place? Take him from them legally, though,” I add, knowing what he could do.
“Legally?” he questions.
“Yes, legally, Liam. Get them to sign a form or something. They can’t raise a child, look how they treat him. How do you think he will turn out?”
“Like me.”
“I remember,” I say, referring to his bruises from back when I first met him. “You aren’t bad though, Liam, just dark in some places.”
Liam cooks us chicken and veggies, and Hayden eats as much as he wants. As the kids are getting ready for bed, a knock sounds at my door and my heart rate picks up. I can’t answer it. I’m too afraid of what will be on the other side. Liam steps into the room I’m in and checks on me, then goes to the front of the house. I watch as he opens the door. Then I hear a familiar voice. Shit. I so didn’t want to have to deal with this.
“Why the fuck are you here?” Robbie barks at Liam. Liam just stands there, hands crossed over his chest, not answering. Robbie spots me straight away and goes to take a step inside the house, Liam blocks his path with his body, and it’s a pretty big body to block.
I walk up behind him and tap his shoulder. He relaxes just a bit but lets me through. “I have to talk to him,” I tell Liam. His head shakes no, but my eyes plead with him. He lets up and I walk outside with Liam watching us. Robbie starts to pace the front lawn, unsure of what’s happening, and keeps on looking back to Liam.
“What’s going on, Rose? Because I’m completely
lost.” He stops and stands in front of me.
“I can’t explain it, Robbie. Liam…” I trail off, not even knowing how to finish that sentence.
“You want him?” he asks, looking over my shoulder. I turn and see Liam in the doorway with Isabelle on his hip.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know, you were always one touch away… two heartbeats away.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, just…” he pauses, looking at Liam again, “…just don’t trust him. He isn’t good.” He turns and walks off, not saying another word as he climbs into his car and drives off.
“I don’t like him,” Liam mumbles, bouncing Isabelle on his hip.
“You don’t like anyone,” I reply, stepping up to him.
“That’s true, though I seem to have some feelings for a beautiful blonde.”
“Me, I’m blonde,” Isabelle shrieks in his arms.
“Well, make that two blondes,” he says, winking at me. And shit, fuck a duck, my heart just grew ten times its size and my girlie parts just melted.
Fuck, that wink.
Fuck.
I have some papers that are done legally, as Rose likes to put it. She went that day to her lawyer’s office. Asked to borrow money, then came back a few hours later with papers for me to give to Hayden’s parents. I had strict instructions from her to not kill anyone. She made it sound like a joke, though it’s very true. I’m more than likely to kill.
Hayden should be at school when I knock loudly on his door. A man answers. He has a bottle of beer in his hand. His singlet is covered in dirt, food, and God only knows what else. He raises his eyebrow at me and tips his drink to his mouth.
“What ya want?” is the slur that leaves his mouth. The mantra in my head is now playing ‘Do not kill. Do not kill.’ I take a step back, wanting to rid myself of his smell.
“You Hayden’s dad?”
“What’s that little shit done now?”
“Are you his father?”
“No, stepfather.”
“Is his mother home?” I look behind him and hear the smashing of cutlery.
“Yeah, the bitch is cleaning. What ya want?”
“I need to speak to her.”
“You look familiar, boy. What’s your name?” I don’t answer him, he doesn’t need me to. He’s starting to figure out who I am. And I’m trying very hard not to kill him. The mother walks to the front door hearing us talk. She’s just as bad, in clothes just as filthy as this man in front of me.
“Who are you? What do you want?” Hayden’s mother snaps at me. She looks just like him, the curls in the hair, the color of her eyes.
“I need you to sign this.” I shove the paper out. She takes it and starts to read. Then looks up at me.
“That boy is nothing but trouble, you don’t want him.” She goes to shut the door on me, but I catch it and hold it open.
“Sign it,” I demand, my patience now wearing thin.
“You gonna pay me to?” She looks me up and down.
“Yes.” I have the money and I can afford to pay her. I would like more to shoot her, but money is the way to go. The way that will make Rose happy.
I walk away and don’t look back. Rose rings on my way home and I don’t answer. I will when I have him.
I went home, grabbed twenty thousand dollars, and now am back on their doorstep. Hayden answers the door this time and smiles when he sees me.
“Hi, Mr. Black,” he says politely. God knows where he got those manners from.
“Get your mother, Hayden.” He nods and runs off inside, leaving the door open. He comes back not long after with his cheek red, a slap to the face is what I’m guessing he got for interrupting his mother.
“You got my money?” Hayden looks to me then to my bag, then back to his mother.
“Yes.” I hold the bag out, and she goes to take it. I stop her. “The form,” I say. She holds it up in her hands and shows me that it’s signed. I look to Hayden.
“Grab your things.”
He doesn’t move, just stands there. “I don’t have anything.”
“I will need to check first, not giving you my only steady paycheck.” The nerve of the bitch. I open the bag, she looks inside and her eyes go bright. She’s probably never seen that much money in her life. No doubt she will waste it all, but it’s not my concern. She hands me the form and takes the money. I grab Hayden’s shoulder and pull him out the door.
“Say goodbye to your mother.” He shakes his head no and doesn’t look back as he follows me out.
I’ve been at home with Hayden for about an hour, and he’s eaten so much of my food that I now have to buy more. He doesn’t seem to care that his mother just signed him over, actually he’s very happy about it. He thinks he’ll be living with me full time, but that would be a joke. I wouldn’t know what to do with him or for him.
He’s now eating ice cream when the back door slams open and Rose storms into the house looking pissed off. Then calms down when she sees Hayden sitting on the chair at the bench.
“It worked?” she asks, smiling at him, then looking to me.
“Mr. Black gave my mother a lot of money,” Hayden interjects. I give him my best shut-up look, and he puts his head back in the bowl and continues eating.
“You paid her?” she asks, stepping closer to me, invading me with her beautiful body.
“Yes.”
“A lot?”
“Not enough,” I answer honestly. His life is worth so much more than what I paid.
“You didn’t answer my calls.” She hangs her head.
“Hayden, go to the spare room and watch television.” He grabs his bowl and runs off shutting the door behind him. I grab her waist, her pink lips an inch from mine. Her breasts pushed tight against me.
“I was busy.”
“You don’t like phones,” she says rolling her eyes. “Just admit it! You don’t like talking into them.”
“I hate them.”
“I knew it.” Her hands wrap around my waist and I don’t flinch.
“He’s living with you,” I tell her, and she nods her head and places it on my chest.
“I know, can’t have the big scary man look soft now, can we?” she jokes with me. Knowing what’s coming, nothing we can do to stop it, he will be safer at hers.
“I really need to taste you,” I whisper into her ear, and she shivers in my arms. Her head comes back, and she looks at me as she licks her lips.
“Taste me,” she says as a dare. One hand stays on her hips, the other slowly traces its way up her spine. Landing on the back of her neck, her eyes are closed, her lips are pursed. My tongue darts out, tracing her lips with my tongue. She moans and then opens her mouth. Our tongues dance as she glues her body to mine. Grinding on me. I have to fight with everything I have to pull her back, to stop what’s about to happen as Hayden is in the next room.
“You’re such a tease,” she whispers seductively. Then leans in to kiss me again.
“Oi! You big piece of shit,” a voice booms from behind me. Rose tenses up, her body going stiff in my hold.
I think the worst, my life has come to thinking worst case scenarios. I know it’s coming like a train, I feel the impending doom that it’s bringing. I try to not think about such things and just live in the moment. My life is finally right. Surely it can’t go wrong so fast, can it? Black drops his hands from my waist and takes a step around me, I still can’t seem to move, my legs are glued to the spot.
“Come at a bad time?” the voice says from behind me. I manage to turn around and force a smile. It’s weak, but it’s there. Liam looks at me and shakes his head.
“What ya need?” Liam says to the tall man covered in piercings and tattoos. I recognize him from the clubhouse. He’s a member. He looks me over, not answering Liam. Liam steps in front of me, blocking his view.
“Just came around for a drink and to see how that job went.” He walks past Liam an
d goes to his fridge, pulls out a bottle of beer, opens it, flicking the lid into the trash. Hayden runs out of his room, hearing a voice, and smiles brightly at the scary man. “Little man, what you doing here?” He taps Hayden on the head and Hayden smiles brightly.
“I live with Mr. Black now,” he says. The man looks over to Liam and raises his eyebrows in question.
“How about shower and bed?” I say to Hayden. He nods his head and waves goodnight to the guys.
“You?” he questions Liam.
“No. Rose, he will be living with her.”
“You think that’s smart?” he says back to him.
“I do,” is all he replies.
“Why wouldn’t it be smart?” I interject. He looks to me, then Liam, and shakes his head.
“I’ve told her, Jake.”
“And you think that’s smart?” What’s wrong with you?” Jake says, shaking his head.
“She deserves to know.”
“Since when do you care what anyone deserves?”
“You think I shouldn’t know?” I ask, stepping next to Liam.
Jake shakes his head. “I think you will get my boy here killed. And that isn’t acceptable.”
“Me?” I ask in shock.
“Yes, you princess.”
“Enough,” Liam says.
“I won’t get killed, Jake, ease the fuck off.”
“You won’t fight? Is that what you’re telling me?” He drops his bottle to the bench, stepping closer.
“I’ll do what I do best,” is all Liam replies.
“Exactly, then you will be hunted.”
“Hunted?” I ask, shocked.
“You know what he does, right? You know he’s the best, right?” I shake my head. I know what he does. “He aims for a target. He gets the target. End of story,” Jake says then looks to Liam. “Except this target will know it’s you, and they have an army.” A shiver breaks out over my skin.
“I thought you came to talk about the job?” Liam changes the subject.
“I came to tell you they have been talking.” Jake looks to me, then back to Liam. “I can’t do anything to save you, brother.” He hangs his head. He cares for him, he may act strong, but you can see how much he cares.
