ELIZABETH. Mostly.
DR WALKER. Mostly.
MR BURKE lurches downstage towards DR WALKER, taking his glass of bourbon with him.
MR BURKE. Hey, Doc! I heard your good buddy on the wireless this evening!
DR WALKER. I thought you might!
DR WALKER is preparing an injection for ELIZABETH.
MR BURKE. You do know what it is we really need, dontcha? In the White House? A strong man.
MRS NEILSEN (finishing out the game, flipping cards into little piles, calling over to them). Bullcrap. What we need is a good man.
MR BURKE. Good, bad, I’m sick a hearing ‘FDR is a good man’ this and ‘FDR is a good man’ that.
He playfully tussles with and cuddles ELIAS.
DR WALKER (laughs). Sorry to hear that, Frank.
MR BURKE. I couldn’t care less if he’s yay or nay or rollin’ in the hay. Long as the head man is strong I don’t care two sausages if he’s any good. ’Cause what we need is energy.
ELIZABETH. Energy!
MR BURKE. That’s right, Mrs Laine! Energy – not morals!!
ELIZABETH. Woo-hoo!!
MRS NEILSEN follows MR BURKE and takes his cards from his hand.
MRS NEILSEN. That’s actually my trick!
MR BURKE. Oh sorry yes. That’s what I meant. Here you go.
MRS NEILSEN. Thank you. You want another game? Double or nothing?
MR BURKE. No – Jesus! Energy!
ELIZABETH. Energy!
MR BURKE. You know. Just someone doin’ something – even if it’s the wrong thing – somethin’s happenin’. And when somethin’s happenin’, somethin’ else happens. Then, ’cause a that – something else happens. People start gettin’ ideas. Start feelin’ like they can do somethin’ about it. Put what they know to good use.
MRS NEILSEN pours herself a drink.
MRS NEILSEN. Huh. Yeah. You know, people say they’re can’t be no more wars now ’cause we all know it’s no good. We don’t know shit if you ask me. Excuse my language.
MR BURKE. I like your language.
MRS NEILSEN. Everybody gotta make their own mistakes and anyone thinks we don’t is a fuckin’ banana if you ask me.
MR BURKE (points at her). That’s beautifully put.
MRS NEILSEN (deadpan). You like that?
MR BURKE. ‘Anyone who thinks we won’t is a fuckin’ banana.’
MRS BURKE (to MR BURKE). You’re a fuckin’ banana.
She spots NICK coming through to talk with DR WALKER.
Nick.
NICK. How are you this evening, Mrs Burke?
MRS BURKE (straight in, privately). Nick, I have to ask you if we can extend our credit.
NICK. Extend it in which direction?
MRS BURKE. Francis has an old partner down in Rush City who has six hundred dollars he’s been waiting to pay him. It’s just a question of the weather, you see. It’s tricky getting down there.
NICK. The weather, huh? When do you think it’s gonna…
MRS BURKE. Nick. I know we owe you.
NICK. It’s alright.
MRS BURKE suddenly puts her face in her hands, hiding her tears.
Come on now.
NICK puts an arm round her.
MRS BURKE (a rush of words). If my mother saw me here now, she’d die. She’d be so ashamed. She’d hate to feel so helpless to help me. Is your mother still alive, Nick?
NICK. I hope not.
MRS BURKE. Why?
NICK. ’Cause we buried her beside my dad end of 1929.
MRS BURKE can’t help laughing.
You still got your dignity, Mrs Burke.
MRS BURKE. Thank you, Nick.
NICK. You just help yourself to a pop a bourbon in there – you know my little stash. You listen to the wireless. It’s alright tonight. Everything’s just fine tonight.
MRS BURKE gets herself together and goes back to the others.
NICK is with DR WALKER and ELIZABETH. DR WALKER looks into her eyes with a handheld ophthalmoscope. She seems unresponsive. He stands holding her hand looking at her. NICK pours himself a cup of coffee. Stands watching DR WALKER’s careful, gentle treatment of ELIZABETH. She is smiling at DR WALKER.
Latest is she says she hears stuff?
DR WALKER. Hears what?
NICK. A girl down a hole.
DR WALKER. Okay.
NICK. I know who it is. That’s the… That’s the… [crazy thing.]
DR WALKER. You were a kid, Nick. You were just a kid.
NICK shrugs.
You’d… come and see me, wouldn’t you, Nick? I mean… if something was really bothering you, right?
NICK. Sure! If there was something you could do about it. You write me a prescription for thirty thousand dollars I’ll be right as rain.
DR WALKER laughs and gets up to go. He watches MARIANNE dancing with SCOTT upstage. He turns to NICK.
DR WALKER. Nick – You know what pseudocyesis is?
NICK. Pseudo-what?
DR WALKER. Cyesis.
NICK. What is it?
DR WALKER. Well, sometimes if a girl feels an intense need to… connect to something or to… well, to have a baby. Her body can manifest all the signs of a real pregnancy. Menstrual cycle stops, belly swells up, morning sickness, she might even feel the baby moving… these symptoms can be very convincing, Nick.
NICK. What are you saying this to me for?
Just then, PERRY comes in, holding his bunch of flowers.
PERRY. Dr Walker.
DR WALKER. Mr Perry. Right, well, I’ll…
DR WALKER leaves, goes through to the other room.
NICK. What.
PERRY. I didn’t say anything.
NICK. What.
PERRY. Nothing.
NICK. I can feel it. What.
PERRY. No, I…
NICK. Yeah?
PERRY. I just feel like I’m… It’s almost like I’m getting to where you’re making me beg.
NICK. Beg?
PERRY. Yet I’m the one doing you a favor!
NICK. I’m not asking you to do a damn thing. What do you want me to do?
PERRY. Maybe ask her to come down to my store, will ya?
NICK. She won’t go down to your store.
PERRY. Then what am I doing here?
PERRY starts to go, NICK stops him.
NICK. No, wait, wait, wait. We got a plan here.
PERRY. What’s the plan?
NICK. Well for starters – don’t beg!
PERRY. So what am I…?
NICK. You just say. You just say, ‘Let’s go and talk and…’
PERRY. We’ve talked. I’ve talked to her.
NICK. Talk to her again. Lay it out.
PERRY. You lay it out.
NICK. I’ve laid it out! Now you lay it out! You give me two thousand dollars, help me put a new roof on this place. New floors. New windows. New walls. Show the bank what this can be. You realize the revenue’s gonna flow outta here? We just need to – (Joins his fingers up to demonstrate their deal coming together.)
PERRY. Jesus. What the fuck is happening to me? How do we ever think any of the crazy shit we do is a good idea? I mean, how does that happen? Who’s pulling the strings?
ELIZABETH (suddenly lucid). Then find someone your own age. You old goat.
PERRY (rounds on her angrily). You don’t think I’ve tried? You don’t think I want that? How do you do it? Where do you go? I talk to women who come in my store – in that way – what would people say?
NICK. Just be friendly.
PERRY. I’m friendly. I’m friendly, Nick. People just take it the wrong way!
NICK. That’s why this gives you an advantage.
PERRY. How?
NICK. ’Cause you’re helping her. You’re helping me. Feel good, Mr Perry. For God’s sake. Feel good! This is good! You think I just called in by your store on some whim? What do you think I am? Some dumb idiot?
PERRY looks at NICK, but doesn’t answer that one
.
PERRY. May I use your water closet?
NICK. My what?
PERRY. Water closet.
NICK. Oh sure. Right around there. Through the kitchen.
PERRY. Thank you. You know what? I’m… gonna go for a walk.
NICK. Good idea. Go get a drink. Go get a milkshake. Come back. Alright? Stop worrying! Will ya?
NICK goes to him awkwardly as though unsure whether to embrace him or not. He ends up putting one arm round PERRY. PERRY isn’t sure what is happening. NICK laughs pathetically. PERRY goes out, bringing his flowers with him.
ELIZABETH. Well, Nick.
NICK ignores her.
Well, Nick.
NICK. What.
ELIZABETH. Just well, Nick.
NICK (not very interested). Mm-hm?
ELIZABETH. You think I don’t see? You think I don’t give a good goddamn? You don’t think I give a good wocky-woo?
NICK. Elizabeth, I don’t know what you give or what you get.
ELIZABETH. Yeah, whadya whadya whadya whadya whadya.
NICK. What.
ELIZABETH. Shut up.
NICK. You have to be rude?
ELIZABETH. You think this is rude? You ain’t seen rude. You think I care? Huh? About your little lady woman up in your attic. (As though talking to a child, patronisingly.) It’s alright, Nicky Wicky. Animals got to feel the warm, right? I’mma not care one way or tother nother.
NICK. So what you so angry about then? You don’t think I do enough? You don’t think I couldn’t get you put away in some old lady’s home like that – (Snaps fingers.)
ELIZABETH. You’re too mean.
NICK. They’d take you away. Nobody would say I haven’t put up with enough fucking crap. Offa you. Offa everybody.
ELIZABETH. Oh boo boo boo, boo boo boo boo, poor boo.
NICK. Elizabeth, I swear to God I’ll knock your damn teeth in.
ELIZABETH. Oh knock my deed in. You’ll knock my deed in. How much money you get?
NICK. Money where?
ELIZABETH. Off a the money man. The shoe man.
NICK. What money?
ELIZABETH. Whatcha have to stick her in his old dirty bed for?
NICK. Girl needs help. Whatcha want? You want her goin’ round the roads? Dragging her baby? Tramping in the dirt? I ain’t got nothin for her.
ELIZABETH. Be like sleeping in a damn grave – his cold feet like clay comin’ round her. At least in a whorehouse she can name her own price.
NICK suddenly grabs ELIZABETH, shaking her. She fights back as they argue.
NICK. What happened to you? Where’s my wife? Where’s my damn wife?
ELIZABETH. Devil took her bitch.
NICK. Well that’d explain it! You’re crazier than a ship’s rat but you were never stupid, Elizabeth. You know. I don’t find that money, the banker gonna take everything. We’ll be like dust in the wind here! I gotta make these decisions. I gotta make ’em on my own!
ELIZABETH practices some dance steps.
ELIZABETH. You’ll find the money.
NICK. Where?!
ELIZABETH. Find it off a your old-assed girlfriend. Let her figure it out.
NICK can’t help laughing. He softens towards her.
NICK. You want a coffee?
He touches her, maybe even kisses her on the forehead. But she has gone somewhere inside herself.
ELIZABETH. You hear the girl down the hole?
NICK. What?
ELIZABETH. I know you hear it.
NICK. Why don’t you shut your fucking mouth?
ELIZABETH. I know you do. You hear it more than me!
NICK suddenly grabs ELIZABETH. She fights him.
You do! You do! You do!
NICK. I don’t hear nothing! I don’t hear a damn thing! Shut up! You hear me? You shut up!
ELIZABETH pulls away, she puts her hands to her face. NICK stands there looking helplessly at her.
I’m sorry. Elizabeth. I’m sorry alright?
He goes to her. He takes her in his arms, picks her up and carries her to bed. A performance of ‘Sweetheart Like You’: while he dresses her, MRS NEILSON coming to help. MRS BURKE and MRS NEILSEN sing.
Sweetheart Like You
Well, the pressure’s down, the boss ain’t here
He gone North, he ain’t around
They say that vanity got the best of him
But he sure left here after sundown
By the way, that’s a cute hat
And that smile’s so hard to resist
But what’s a sweetheart like you doin’ in a dump like this?
You know, I once knew a woman who looked like you
She wanted a whole man, not just a half
She used to call me sweet daddy when I was only a child
You kind of remind me of her when you laugh
In order to deal in this game, got to make the queen disappear
It’s done with a flick of the wrist
What’s a sweetheart like you doin’ in a dump like this?
…
You know you can make a name for yourself
You can hear them tires squeal
You can be known as the most beautiful woman
Who ever crawled across cut glass to make a deal
A smack of the snare drum and MRS NEILSEN soars into –
True Love Tends To Forget
I’m getting weary looking in my baby’s eyes
When she’s near me she’s so hard to recognize
I finally realize there’s no room for regret
True love, true love, true love tends to forget
Hold me, baby be near
You told me that you’d be sincere
Every day of the year’s like playin’ Russian roulette
True love, true love, true love tends to forget
I was lyin’ down in the reeds without any oxygen
I saw you in the wilderness among the men
Saw you drift into infinity and come back again
All you got to do is wait and I’ll tell you when
Underscore…
MRS NEILSEN. I’m gonna go, Nick. I can’t pay you no more.
NICK. What are you talking about?
MRS NEILSEN. I went to see Mr St Clair about signing all the forms.
NICK. When?
MRS NEILSEN. Today.
NICK. Yeah?
MRS NEILSEN. Turns out I owe him money.
NICK. You’ll pay him when you get your inheritance.
MRS NEILSEN. The legal fees ate it all up! There ain’t nothing for me or anyone else.
NICK. You’re kidding me.
MRS NEILSEN shakes her head.
That goddamn crook! I’m gonna go down there myself and I’ll…
MRS NEILSEN. He showed me the figures, Nick. It was all there in black and white.
NICK (floored). You’re kidding me…
NICK exhales, unable to hide his feelings. He gets up and goes to look out the window.
MRS NEILSEN. I know you need the room. I’ll clear out.
NICK. What?! Where?
MRS NEILSEN. My sister.
NICK. In Minneapolis?
MRS NEILSEN. No, my twin sister. In Oklahoma.
NICK. Oklahoma?! Are you nuts?!
MRS NEILSEN. Oklahoma City. She’s married to a schoolteacher.
NICK (sarcastic). Oh! Right!
MRS NEILSEN. She can put me up for a while.
NICK (exasperated). Right.
MRS NEILSEN. Maybe find me some work out there.
NICK. Yeah.
MRS NEILSEN. We ain’t gonna buy no hotel, Nick.
NICK. Huh. It’s all over I guess.
Girl from the North Country Page 6
