Sam pulls her tighter into his arms. The devastation across his face is too hard to watch. I look across at Rhi instead.
‘Laney had it, hidden in her room. But I think Troy gave it to her. Memba what e was sayin bout the necklace?’
‘Stuffed it in an old safe after they were done. Put it in a lead-lined safe. Thought it would protect em. Made me put it there. After.’ May gasps like she’s struggling to breathe under water.
‘Troy did this.’ Rhi lets it hang there and I shake my head.
‘Who cares about blame now? They’ve got her and now they want me,’ I say, standing.
‘Tace?’ Rhi asks.
‘This won’t bring her back.’
I swing around to look at the traumatised woman.
‘They won’t give her back, not now. They don’t give back what they took.’
‘But I don’t … I can’t … what else can I do?’ I yell at her, at them, at everyone.
No one will look at me. I’m staring at my future and she has no answers either.
‘Do they ever stop?’ I ask, hopeless.
May looks confused for a bit. ‘Lately, I think. I been clearer, less scared. Maybe, they been leavin me alone. Not too sure.’
After forty years maybe it’s getting to the point that she just doesn’t know anymore if the monsters are in the room or in her mind.
Dropping to the ground, I draw my knees to my chest and take my first look at my ankles. I have some scratches and puncture wounds that I try not to see as claw marks. Picking my way up my legs and over my body, I find all the scrapes and new bruising that I didn’t feel before. Why do these things never hurt until you see them? I brush it off as best I can, put my chin on my knees and stare out at the shadows. Betrayal sits heavy in my gut. This is my country, I am supposed to be safe. All I’ve done is pick up a necklace. And for that I’m to be hunted, and my twin and I are possibly eternally fucked. What kind of justice is this?
Rhi makes a little squeak and I can’t look at her. This is all my fault. Pressing my forehead into my knees I try to just breathe.
‘This might be a dippy question,’ Sam says, ‘but can’t we just throw the necklace to em?’
May gives a short, sharp cackle. ‘They’d take it and then they’d wait. Wait for the one who last touched it. Someone’s gotta to be punished.’
I wince.
Rhi’s sobs get worse and I press tighter into myself, searching for courage.
‘Don’t do it,’ Sam says.
My head comes up and I meet his steady gaze.
‘Don’t do it. There’s another way, you just gotta think.’
I laugh, and it hurts. ‘Me? I’m the one that got us in this mess.’
He shakes his head, arms still holding a rocking May. ‘No, you got caught up in it. None of it is your fault. Ya wanna blame someone, blame Laney and Troy. If it was locked in a safe then they must’ve stole it on one of their midnight runs. Like they were some kinda vigilante movement against the whitefullas. Like stealin their shit means somethin.’ His derision and fury are plain, but his tone stays light and steady to keep May calm.
‘So use that massive fuckin brain a yours, Tace, and think!’
Think about what? How we’re trapped in the firelight? How they can hide in any shadow and get to us that way? Everything in my head is around shadows and light waves from science. What good is that against something this ancient? I could stand there and quote the science at them. I snort. Light waves blocked by a solid object is the absence of light … so why aren’t they crawling up our shadows right now?
My eyes land on the firestick May saved me with. It’s a big one and still burning where she’d dropped it in the dirt, but it won’t stay that way for long. The secondary source is casting just enough light to diffuse our shadows.
‘Rhi, how long you reckon it took us to get ere?’
‘Bout thirty minutes. Why?’
‘So less than a hour till they get home, then another thirty to get out ere?’
Hope sparks in her eyes. ‘Only twenty. I made you stop memba?’
I smile at her. ‘And told me to leave a note sayin where we’d be.’ I look at Sam. ‘Think we can make it another ninety minutes?’
Sam grins at me and I return it. ‘Don’t get cocky, it’s one option. Cross ya fingers ya collected enough wood and Mum is angry enough to follow us out here.’
Rhi snorts. ‘Pretty sure that’s not gonna be a problem.’
I notice a drop in the fire and our shadows reach higher, closer to the edge of the light.
‘We got another problem.’ I point at the firestick. ‘That’s gonna burn down fast. Once it goes, the light drops and they might be able to use our shadows.’
‘We make two fires then?’
‘Three.’ I have all of their attention. May’s rocking even seems to slow. ‘We need to stretch it so it goes around the wood pile as well or we’re screwed. Still think there’s enough wood?’
Sam chews his lip, staring at the wood he gathered. ‘Cuttin it close.’
‘Not like we have much choice,’ Rhi says, pointing at the shifting shapes that are gathering near where our shadows are reaching out.
I tear my gaze away and focus on the here and now.
‘We have to do this real careful. Always make sure there’s light to our front and our back, and never cross over each other’s light. We create a ring of light with us in the middle. Ere look.’
I pick up a stick and go to draw in the dirt to show my thinking, but stop before the stick touches dirt.
Put that stick down! Don’t ever draw in the dirt at night, girl.
Another rule from Nan that I’ve ignored since she left. My eyes meet May’s and I drop the stick.
‘Or not. Alright, so one person moves first to build a triangle of light. With Aunty May’s firestick we just need a third point.’ I point to a spot that’ll do. ‘Then we can start reinforcing it with more fire.’
Rhi looks at me with hope. ‘Will it work?’
‘If we move very carefully? Yeah, I think so. It’s my idea so I’m doin it. The rest of you keep a close eye on all of our shadows.’
Glad for something I can do that doesn’t involve an act of suicide, I take another firestick and slide in the direction I pointed. Too scared to stand still, I make sure everyone stays within the triangle I am creating. As I move I watch the light. I refuse to look at the shadows, the flickers of movement I can’t quite make out at the edges of the advancing dark.
‘Good, Tace, real good.’ Rhi’s encouragement stops me and I place the stick on the ground. Turning to check everything I meet two grins and one old woman who’s watching me with interest.
Staying low, I move back towards them. They pass me more wood and I slowly build each firestick up till there’re two small fires. Once done, I make my way back to the others.
‘What now?’ Rhi asks, hugging her knees.
‘We wait.’ I hate saying it. We’re placing our hopes on something that may not happen. If the cops were too slow in talking to Mum or the paperwork took too long. Hell, if they ran into a cousin in the street and had a yarn.
A hand lands on my arm and I look up into Sam’s eyes.
‘Stay here.’
I nod but I can’t look away from him. A single phrase has been repeating in my head and I’ve been fighting not to examine it. Action and doing have pushed it aside, but now there is nothing to distract me.
Sam seems to see it, and he reaches out to brush my fringe back in a soft gesture. The hint of kindness causes a fatal crack in the dam of my resistance. Tears start flowing and I hold my breath to keep it all back. He never breaks eye contact. When I can speak I have to force the words past my lips: ‘They don’t give back what they took.’
Rhi shoves her head into her knees, again muffling her c
rying. There’s a harsher edge to it this time. Suppressed sobs make my teeth chatter, my whole body shaking as I fight what I am thinking. Sam’s eyes turn sad, and he pulls me into his arms.
‘I know,’ he whispers into my hair.
A sound comes out of me then, like a wounded animal. Guttural and raw. I cry like I haven’t with Dad, or Nan. Sam holds me close, murmuring comforting sounds that make no sense. Nothing can reach me in this world of pain. My heart refuses to accept what my head is saying, and they are tearing me in two.
Eventually, the tears slow. I remember myself enough to be aware of my cousin, and feel embarrassed by my breakdown. ‘Thank you,’ I murmur, before scooting out of Sam’s arms and over to Rhi; we wrap each other in a hug. Sam pulls May into his arms and we all rest our backs together. The four of us stay close, huddling in the centre of the light, and watch the shadows. Every time the light drops low, they edge closer. Twin red lights dot the entire area, under cars, around trees, crouching low in the scrub, watching. The weird musty smell I’d caught a whiff of last night is suffocating.
We wait as long as we can to add the next branches to the fires. My heart climbs into my throat, my breath comes faster. Watching them come closer. Drowning in their scent.
Around and around we go till I think I might lose it. Around and around till it feels like this is all there is in the world.
I have no idea how long we sit there like that. It feels like forever.
The wood pile shrinks. And takes my hope with it.
There is still the option to walk out there. To give them what they want. I’d sacrifice myself but save three people doing it. I can’t think of Mum, I try not to think much of anything.
The necklace sits heavy in my pocket.
The first thrum of sound is like an illusion, till small flickers of light stream through the trees. The deep embankment we’re sitting in means there’s no way anyone from the road can see us unless they drive to the very top and look down. People come out here all the time without going to the crest. I try so hard not to get my hopes up.
When the car crawls over the embankment I sob. It’s too bright to see past the headlights. It scatters the shadows, shrieks go up as light reaches unexpected places. They move too fast to see but a few sound like they’re hurt.
As the car pulls up beside Aunty Mel’s, I realise my mistake.
‘No! Stop!’
I jump to my feet, waving like a mad woman. Rhi pulls me down by my shoulders, but we’re all yelling now.
‘Stay in the car!’
‘Don’t open the doors!’
‘Fuck that, LOCK the doors!’
A combination of relief and that last comment from Rhi makes me bust out laughing, and everyone around that little fire joins me. We’re laughing so hard tears are flowing down every face, and if we’re a bit hysterical no one points it out.
A window cracks open and my mother’s voice slaps the night air.
‘What the fuck is goin on?’
That sobers us up quick.
‘Long story, but they’re everywhere, Mum. It’s not safe.’ I choke on the words.
‘What are?’
I lift my hand, palm out and curl my fingers into a claw, flexing them in and out a few times, just like Nan always had.
A gasp and the internal lights come on. I can see Uncle in the front, lowering his arm from the roof, and Mum beside him. They both look pale.
‘How do we get you in the car?’ Uncle calls.
I shrug. It feels like a sick joke. They’re so close, but still an eternity away.
‘Can we drive over?’
‘Let’s try it.’
Uncle turns the car back on and shifts as close as he can without hitting us. As we watch the chassis block the light, I spot movement.
‘Stop! They’re under the car!’
Uncle hits the brakes, and this time they’re close enough I can see the fear in their eyes. I force myself to look away and think.
‘What if we moved the triangle out and made it a circle big enough to fit the car?’ Sam asks.
I smile. ‘Worth a try. The car’s too close now though. If Uncle backs up, we can build little fires and widen it out enough that he can drive into it.’
‘Will that work?’ Rhi asks, fear and hope mixing on her face.
‘We have to do it real careful,’ I say with a confidence I am far from feeling. ‘Always make sure there’s light to our front and our back and remember – never cross over each other’s light. Once we have the triangle big enough we can slowly move the fires outward, make more little ones, till they can drive into it.’
‘Got it,’ Uncle calls. He reverses back a few metres. I can’t look at Mum.
‘Who wants to reinforce the fires and who wants to prep the firesticks?’ I’m not about to let any of them risk moving out into the dark.
Sam drops a kiss to May’s head and lets her go. ‘I’m on fire building.’
‘I got the firesticks.’ Rhi sounds almost normal.
‘I’ll widen out the triangle first. Sam, don’t make them too big, we have to be able to push the sides out to make it a circle.’
He throws me a thumbs up and we go to work.
Bright headlights shine over us as protection but I make Uncle turn them off. We can’t see the firelight properly with those on.
It takes so long, with painstaking movements, shifting fires, building more, pushing out with our light. At some point May starts singing old rock songs and we all join in. Light and music are the best defences, Nan always said.
Old school rock and roll tunes echo around the space we’ve built, just as Sam steps up to tap me on the shoulder.
‘We’re out of firesticks, Tace, and there’s no more wood. It’s now or never.’
I nod, fear gripping my throat.
He takes my hand and leads me to the corner where May still sits and Rhi tends the original fire. It’s shrunk to a miniscule size while we worked, taking more and more from it to spread around.
‘Uncle, we’re ready. Slow but steady,’ I call.
My rising fear is choking me. What if I’ve got it wrong? This is the moment we’ll either get out okay or get taken, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Uncle’s car inches forwards. As it breaches the outer rim we all release a breath.
‘So far so good,’ Rhi sighs.
I have a sudden awful thought and press my head to the ground, watching under the car as it comes closer. Shadows swing around the wheels as they pass the fires. My breath stops. Movement around the rims, creeping limbs and red pinpricks, then scurrying backwards as the light penetrates deeper, spreading under the car.
‘Stop! They’re under the car again.’
‘I got it,’ Sam says, pulling a torch out from the little pile of their gear.
I frown at him. ‘You had that the whole time?’
He shrugs. ‘One little light wasn’t gonna save all of us.’
‘It might now,’ Rhi laughs.
Dropping to his belly near the front of the car, Sam shines it underneath and watches. The wheels get within ten centimetres of his head before he yells for a stop.
‘We’re right,’ he calls, standing carefully because he’s so close to the car’s bumper he might whack his head.
A big grin breaks out on Rhi’s face. ‘All aboard the Thomson train, people. Last stop, safety!’
I yank the back door open and get a shock. Uncle Joe is in the driver’s seat glaring at me, and Mum is now in the back, arms stretched out. ‘Get in this fuckin car, Tace!’
I turn and shove Rhi in first. Total coward I know. She has to climb onto Mum’s knee to make room. Helping Aunty May into the middle, Sam gets in the back while I take the front seat. All doors close and lock, and I still can’t trust we’re safe. Maybe because we’re sur
rounded by silent fury.
‘What about the fires?’ Rhi asks. We haven’t thought it through. It’s too dry to just leave them burning out here.
Uncle throws a grin over his shoulder. ‘Hold on!’
He hits the accelerator and flings the steering wheel around, sending us into an epic donut that many a teenage boy would envy. It isn’t perfect, but it gets the job done – dirt spews out behind us. As we whip around at speed and take off out of there I stare back at the dying embers. The shadows that move past them send shivers all over me.
‘They’re following,’ I whisper.
No one says anything for a moment.
‘Someone tell me what the fuck is goin on, right now!’ Mum yells and we all jump sky-high.
I take one look at Rhi and we can’t help it. We both double over, laughing till our sides ache. Sam and May join us.
Uncle Joe makes it back to town in record speed. Rhi and I have most of the story out by now because we’re talking so damn fast while the Millers sit silent. Probably uncomfortable with that many Thomsons in one place. Kind of like putting cats and dogs in the same car and expecting them to communicate.
We screech into our driveway and Uncle Joe orders us all out. He doesn’t have to tell anyone, we know they’re close. I help Sam bring his aunty in as fast as possible without picking her up and carrying her. Mum runs ahead and turns on every light in the house, even putting some Sam Cooke on the stereo at a low volume. Rhi sprints around shutting up the whole house, screw the heat, while Uncle Joe kind of flaps about ‘checking things’.
All jobs done. Our strange little party meets around the kitchen table and looks at each other.
A soft scraping noise sounds at the back door and everyone flinches.
‘It’s the wind,’ Mum says.
Feeling antsy, I do what is normal and put on a pot of tea. Pulling out mugs I don’t even think about asking who wants one. If we had beer I think the adults would’ve preferred it right now. I know I would.
Something catches my eye outside and I turn to look. A silver shape sits out on the tank stand. Watching. I jerk back to my task and say nothing to anyone. It won’t change or help things.
The adults stand around, shuffling on their feet and trying not to look at each other. Rhi and I get extra chairs from the dining room, hoping to encourage everyone to sit. No one does.
Ghost Bird Page 20
