by Lucia Black
“I wanted to talk to you both, and I figured this would be the easiest way to get you both at the same time.”
“Oh?” I asked, my curiosity was piqued, but I tried my best to hide it. “What about?”
Cal pulled on his deep red tie and loosened it, then looked at his watch. “It’s too much ground to cover. I don’t have enough time before my next appointment arrives. He’ll be here any minute. But it’s a conversation for the three of us,” he said, looking at me pointedly.
“You remembered?” I said, the words coming out a little salty.
“Of course, I remembered. I’ve just been busy. Recovering from being shot. Being president. It’s rather time-consuming,” he retorted.
I felt myself being mean, so I took a deep breath, pressed back into the couch, and planted my feet on the carpet. I needed to be calm, and I knew it.
“We’ve been meeting with Secret Service, intelligence committees, and a slew of other groups every day,” Preston said. The ‘give him a break’ was implied, but he didn’t know why I was so upset. He didn’t know what was at stake. “We had a major breach of security, and that affects you and Libby too. We need to be sure this wouldn’t happen again.”
Cal shook his head and sighed. “It was an inside job, Tessa. Luckily, this wasn’t even about me. There’s no foreign conspiracy, no trouble with other nations. Just a guy that had fallen down the anti-government rabbit hole. I just happened to be the one he aimed at. But as such, there’s a lot to clean up and a lot to check out when it happens on the inside.”
“Well, that’s a relief, I suppose. I didn’t know any of that.” And I didn’t know because he hadn’t told me. I wasn’t just privy to everything, and I was more than okay with that, but that information would’ve been helpful to know. I’d been worried sick Cal’s association with my family had gotten out to the public and that someone was determined to take him out because of it.
Cal said. “Now you do. It’s taking a lot of time, so you’ll have to excuse me for me a little preoccupied.” He didn’t have venom in his tone, but I could hear a slight frustration at my snippy attitude.
“No, you’re right,” I said. And I meant it. I couldn’t stop my emotional side from feeling, but my logical side did truly understand. “I just wish you would have told me that. It would’ve helped me.”
Cal looked at me, a seriousness to his features I couldn’t entirely read. “Tessa, I know we need to talk. Truly, I’m sorry it’s taken this long. I just wanted to do this right. I wanted to extend the invitation in person, to both of you. You both deserve that.”
“I actually can’t. I have—” Preston started before Cal cut him off.
“I’ve taken the liberty of clearing both of your schedules for the evening. Dinner will be set up in our suite, not in the dining room. I’ve already called Jolene to let her know. You’ll have some time to go to Libby this evening, Preston. Take the opportunity. Be back at 8:30 for dinner.”
He didn’t leave any room for discussions or questions. As Preston began to say he didn’t understand, and I started to ask why the song-and-dance, the door opened and several of his aides rushed in, talking up a storm and preparing Cal and Preston for whatever they had next on their agendas.
Chapter 23
The rest of the day passed as slowly as one would expect it to. The more time I spent thinking about it, the more I was convinced Cal’s hospital rants were nothing more than drug-induced musings.
By the time I left the security of our dressing room for the unknown of what our dinner date held, Preston and Cal were both waiting for me in the private sitting room. A small table had been brought in and it was set for three. They both stood when I walked in and it felt too formal. Like it was the end, and everyone was just trying to be polite.
“You look incredible,” Cal said as he kissed my cheek.
“Thanks.”
Preston kissed on my other cheek and I flushed at the memory of how good it was to have them both kissing me, loving me, at the same time.
“The dress is . . . wow,” Preston said. “If I would’ve known this was that kind of dinner I would’ve changed.”
I’d worn a sleeveless black A-line tea length dress with a princess square neckline. It was just slightly too tight around my stomach now, but I loved how it looked on me.
“You both look great. I just wore this for me.”
Cal smiled at that response and Preston grinned and dipped his head, giving me his approval.
I moved to sit, and Preston pushed my chair in for me while Cal filled my glass with wine. I had to remind myself not to drink it.
“This looks good,” I said purely because no one else was talking and the silence was making me uneasy.
Cal had the chef make a sweet potato and chicken risotto that I loved. It had become my favorite since I’d had it for lunch the week before. I took a bite and savored the velvety texture of the risotto and the crunch of the toasted pine nuts on top.
“So,” Cal cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. I’d never seen him like this before and the feeling was hard to place. “Preston, Tessa had a talk with me just before the inauguration. She’s decided to leave me after our term is over.”
Preston’s fork clattered to his plate, risotto splattering all over the place as it did. “Excuse me,” he said like he hadn’t heard. “You’re going to do what now?”
I glanced between the two of them. I don’t know why I assumed Preston already knew, but in a way, I thought he did. Cal had a way of sharing things with him, even when he didn’t with me. They were much closer in a lot of ways.
I also didn’t know how Preston would feel about it.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It was harder than I thought, to tell him how I felt, but I thought about my sister and Annabelle and the baby growing inside of me, and I found that extra strength. “I’m, um . . . I’m going to leave him when his presidency is over. It’s as he said.” I took a bite, chewing and hoping it would buy me time for my heartbeat would slow down.
Cal leaned back and waited. Preston looked back and forth between us. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what’s happening here. Fill me in.” He still hadn’t picked his fork back up.
I set mine down. “I’m tired of decisions being made for me, Preston. I’m tired of not having control of my life. I love you and Cal more than I ever could have imagined. And when I confronted him, he said he wanted this thing between us too. But that it couldn’t happen for reasons that were not our own. Because of what it will look like. Because of who we are. But I’m not willing to sit back and watch the life I want be held from me any longer.”
I looked to Cal, waiting to see if he was going to interject or defend himself. But he didn’t. He gave me a gentle head nod as my cue to continue.
“I have spent my life doing what I am told. Having decisions made for me. Not being allowed to make choices for my own life. I blindly accepted it. First with my father, now with this. But I won’t do that anymore. We’re consenting adults, and we love each other. We all want the same thing, but it’s not something Cal is willing to give.”
“That’s . . . I want that too . . .” Preston trailed off, not knowing what to say. He looked to Cal, but I kept my gaze fixed on Preston. I could feel Cal’s eyes on me.
“I don’t know what is going to happen, Preston. I haven’t talked to you about it. And I don’t know that now is the time or place because it seems rather awkward, to be honest. I don’t know your position on it. Being with me if I leave him. I don’t know if I will move on with life and find this with anyone else. Maybe not. But I won’t allow the option to be taken away from me. I can’t help but to think of Luciana and Annabelle, and then with Cal getting shot . . .” I shook my head. I almost had to add him to that list. “Life is entirely too short. And it can be taken away in a moment. I refuse to live by other people’s rules and standards.”
Cal reached for my hand across the table and I let him. I even squee
zed his fingers in mine. I didn’t want to hurt him. The thought of him not being in my life tore at me, screaming that I was making the wrong choice. But I couldn’t back away.
“I want you, Tessa. You’re the only woman for me.” He ran his thumb over my knuckles. “I can admit that what happened between Preston, Annabelle, and I was my fault. I got in my head about it. I lost sight of what was important. I don’t regret it in some ways. It led me to you. But I ran.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to do that again. I can’t afford to make that mistake again.”
“What are you saying?” I glanced at Preston, but he was just as confused as I was, if not more.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. For everything I’ve done so far, everything I’ve said. I’m sorry for choosing my career over you and Annabelle.” He cast his gaze to Preston who was already looking at Cal with so much behind his blue eyes. “I’m sorry I left you guys when things got hard. It was much easier to blame it on you than to deal with it. But most of all, I’m sorry I almost did the exact same thing to you again, Preston. And this time I almost did it to Tessa.”
“That means a lot to me; to hear you say that,” Preston said, his voice thick with emotion. “I wouldn’t expect any of us to be perfect at this.”
“I’m certainly far from it,” Cal said. He then looked to me. “I can’t change where we are, Tessa. And I can’t change the obligations, importance, or time commitment of this role. My job has to come first right now. I made an oath to the people of this country. But I also made a promise to you, and I meant those words. I am not willing to lose either of you.”
His words were everything I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t help wondering if he really knew what he was saying. “In order to not do that anymore, Cal, you have to let go of some control. You have to trust us, trust that we both love you and don’t want to do this without you. It would be all three of us, together in everything.”
“I know. I finally get all of that.” Cal let go of my hand and pushed back from the table. Preston and I looked at each other but stayed in our seats. “I don’t want to waste any more time. You might be young still, Tessa, but Preston and I aren’t getting any younger.” Preston threw his napkin at Cal and I tried to hide my smile. I wasn’t comfortable enough to laugh yet. I needed to hear him say he wanted this. I needed to know this was going to work. “It was never Annabelle and Preston choosing each other over me. I just . . . I made some choices out of fear. I’ve had that life. I don’t want it again. I want it with you. Both of you. I want kids, I want a family. I want us to be a family.”
I pushed back from the table but stayed in my chair. I was too scared to stand. I didn’t want to fall over. “Do you really mean that?”
He locked his gaze on mine, a look of pure determination on his handsome face. “Of course, I mean it. I wouldn’t be saying it now if I didn’t mean it.”
“Because if I have a baby, that means Preston would be the biological father. But you would both be fathers. Not some bullshit where someone’s an uncle.” I looked to Preston to try to confirm his feelings and he was nodding along and listening intently. “There would be no difference between you two in my eyes, and there’d be no difference to our children either. Are you both okay with that?”
“Yes,” Cal said, his attention on Preston.
“I think I’ve made that pretty clear to both of you that that’s what I want.” Preston shifted in his chair, leaned forward, and clasped his hands on the table. I imagined it was how Preston acted in meetings because it was a power move. “And I know you’ve answered this question, but I have to ask it one more time, Cal. I’m not playing games. Are you really okay with this?”
“I am.” Cal’s voice was deep and sure. I knew in my heart of hearts he meant it. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. Getting shot helped put it into perspective. All I cared about was the two of you. If you were both okay. You are both my family, and that is all I want.”
I jumped out of my chair and into Cal’s arms. I planted kisses all over his face and he swung me off the floor and held me tightly. And that was only half of the celebration. Cal set me back down and nudged me into Preston’s waiting arms. He kissed me on the lips for a few fleeting seconds and hugged me close to his chest.
When Preston let me go, Cal said, “But keeping this a secret won’t be easy. We can’t do all the things we want to do. Not now.”
“I know,” I said, finding it hard to keep the smile off my face. “But behind closed doors, we can be ourselves. That’s what matters the most for now.”
“We’ve been feeling this way and acting on it for a while,” Preston said. “Now it’s just official. But no, it won’t be easy keeping it secret. We’re almost never alone anymore.”
“No, I know,” I agreed. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I was sure there would be countless times over their term where I’d wish things would be different, but I still got to have them both, for real. That was all that mattered.
For now, anyway.
“But with that being said, we’ll do as much as we possibly can in the next four years of this presidency. I just want you to know there is an end in sight and we only have to be discreet until then.”
“Four years?” Preston asked.
“Yeah,” I added. “What?”
“I meant what I said. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life focusing on the wrong things anymore. Four years. No run for reelection. So, we’d better do a damn good job while we can. Is that okay with you, Preston?”
Preston laughed. “You both know I didn’t really want to do this in the first place. I can live with four years.”
“What do we do when four years is up? Where do we go?” I asked. I was a planner. I couldn’t help it. Now that I knew we had each other, and we had an expiration date in the White House, I was trying to imagine our future.
Cal reached for his drink, handed me the glass of wine that he’d poured, and Preston picked up his.
“We’ll figure that part out,” Preston said. “I still think I missed my calling as a professional bum. I’d like to potentially explore that option.”
He laughed when I rolled my eyes. But I couldn’t help smiling at him.
“Don’t worry. We’ll start making some plans,” he said, shooting me a wink.
“I’ve got some ideas,” Cal said. “But first”—he raised his glass—“to us.”
“To us,” Preston said.
“To us,” I whispered, a small smile creeping in.
We clinked our glasses together and they both took a sip.
I didn’t.
“It’s bad form not to drink to a toast,” Preston said, then downed the rest of his glass.
“Probably so.” I set my glass on the table. “But it’s also bad form to drink when you’re pregnant.”
“What was that?” Preston asked.
“You’re what?” Cal asked at the same time.
My hand rested on the tiny bump on my stomach, and the ear-to-ear grins on their faces warmed my heart.
Epilogue
The sun was warm and high in the sky, but the ocean breeze kept the beach at a perfectly pleasant temperature. The aquamarine water shimmered, and the salt in the air calmed something deep inside me.
We’d been living at Preston’s Bahama house for a few months, but I knew I’d never get over the view. It didn’t matter if I lived at the beach, the ocean still took my breath away.
With my toes buried in the sand, I sat on my favorite pink and white lounge chair and watched them dig into the sand with delight as if they hadn’t done it every day since we’d moved here.
It had become a habit, part of our routine, to spend the afternoons playing in the sand. Despite living on a remote island, new sand toys trickled in at a steady pace. Preston teased Cal and me mercilessly about our spending when it came to the kids, but honestly, he was no better.
The only voice of reason was Jolene. She was the one that scolded us for it.
“Will you go swimming with us, Mama?” Reagan asked.
She had a way of holding my face in her chubby little hands when she wanted to ask me something important. This time was no different.
“Of course, baby.”
She wrapped her whole hand around two of my fingers and pulled me up from my seat. Reagan was always the helper. She wanted to fix everything and take care of everyone. She was just shy of her fourth birthday, but she was already selfless. Preston said she was just like me in that way, but Reagan was much better than I could ever hope to be. On the outside, she was my mini, my look-alike when I no longer had one.
We walked out toward the tide, our toes just barely getting wet, and her hand in mine. Her dark hair danced in the breeze.
“Will Papa and Daddy come out and swim with us soon?” she asked.
I glanced behind me to the house. Cal and Preston were still inside, a rarity in our lives; Preston on a business call and Cal needing to talk to his publisher. Work was still important, we needed money to live, but it only took up a small portion of their time.
“I’m sure they’ll be out soon. They wouldn’t miss an afternoon swim.”
Reagan walked out farther into the water until it was up to her waist. “If Papa doesn’t come out, I can’t practice holding my breath,” she said in her tiny little voice, ‘practice’ sounding like ‘pwactice,’ and ‘breath’ sounding like ‘bweaf.’ I loved it.
In our house, Papa always meant Cal, and Daddy always meant Preston. It just kind of happened that way since that was what Libby already called Preston.
“I’m sure he’ll be out soon.”
Reagan and Cal had a bond I couldn’t describe. They were just on the same wavelength. Their vibes just worked together. I didn’t know what it was, but it was awfully cute. They could almost communicate without words, those two. It warmed my heart. It made it even more clear that us all being together was the right thing to do.
