“Ed?” Hazel used her cane to lower herself down onto a chair. “You come up with that name all by yourself?”
The cat sat upright, curling his tail around himself properly. “No, my great-grandmother came up with the name, thank you very much. It’s short for Edwin Almond Grant III.”
Hazel stared at him. “Umm, Loni, are you a talented ventriloquist or did your cat just speak to me?”
Loni didn’t seem to think it was a big deal as she pulled two mugs from her cupboard. “You knew I could talk to animals.”
“Well, yeah, you can talk to animals. I’ve never been able to talk to animals. Not all witches can, you know. It’s just a little shock to the system.”
“My cats aren’t your typical house cats,” Loni admitted as she poured coffee into the mugs. “When I said they were my family, I wasn’t joking. Ed’s my father’s second cousin once removed.”
Hazel shook her head. “But he’s a cat. Do you come from a long line of cats?”
“No. He wasn’t always a cat. It’s kind of a long story, but Ed’s one of the older relatives in the house and one of the more outspoken.”
“I see. So, Ed. Where you from?”
Ed tipped his head to the side. “I was actually born and raised in Aspen Falls. Loni was kind enough to take me in when I had my accident. And now a large portion of my family lives here too.” He pointed a paw at a smaller orange tabby on the floor. “That’s Merri. She’s my daughter. You’ll meet my son, Richard, at some point. He’s running around here somewhere.”
Merri sat up and gave Hazel a little nod.
“Richard, huh? No Edwin Almond Grant IV?”
A little gasping noise escaped Loni’s throat.
Hazel looked at Ed as his head shook lightly. “We don’t speak of Eddy,” he whispered solemnly.
“Right,” said Hazel, lifting her brows. She took the mug of coffee from Loni and pushed herself to her feet with her cane. “I’m gonna see what’s on the tube.”
Loni shook her head. “Be my guest. Want me to put Telemundo on for you?”
Hazel hobbled through the kitchen towards the television she’d seen in the other room. “How about you just hand me the clicker, and I’ll figure it out?”
Minutes later, Hazel and Loni were seated in matching cat-hair-covered recliners in Loni’s overcrowded living room. Cats milled about, chatting amongst themselves and mostly unruffled by Hazel’s presence. Hazel surfed through the channels until she finally landed on ESPN, where a serious poker game was in progress.
Two men wearing slick outfits sat across from each other. Scotty, a short man in reflective sunglasses, stacked and restacked a pile of chips, while Gino, the tall, gangly man across from him, stared off into the distance. The cash pot sat in piles off to the side, and between them, the pile of chips was so tall that it looked like the New York City skyline.
A pair of deep-voiced men narrated the event, discussing the possible hands Scotty could come up with. When he finally made his decision to call the bet, a young blonde woman in the dealer position accepted the stack of yellow chips he slid her way, and then she flipped over the last table card—a five of spades.
Hazel stared at the screen with excitement. She waved a jittery finger at Gino. “Oh man, this is getting good. Four-eyes there has a pair of nines. Scotty’s only got a pair of fives.”
Gino tapped the table.
The dealer responded by saying, “Check.”
Then, with a barely audible voice, Scotty announced, “All-in.”
The crowd standing behind the two men went crazy, and Hazel pointed at the screen. “Oooo-hoo! Did you see that? All-in! What a bluff! He’s only got a pair of fives! Gino can totally win now. He’s got the better hand. All he’s got to do is call!”
Ed lifted his head from the spot on the couch he’d curled up on and looked at the television. “Riveting entertainment,” he muttered blandly.
Hazel couldn’t tear her eyes from the screen. “Isn’t it?!”
Then the crowd went eerily silent as all eyes turned to Gino. He took forever to decide whether to call or fold. The announcers tried to predict what was running through his mind, and then… he tossed his cards over the line and Hazel shot back in her seat. “Oh my gosh! He folded! I can’t believe it! Wait until he finds out Scotty was bluffing with a pair of fives!”
Loni lifted a brow at Hazel. “You really like this stuff, huh?”
Hazel chuckled. “I do. I’d mop the floor with those rookies if I were there!” She tapped her forehead. “Reading minds is a great gift to have when you know how to play poker. I would have never folded on that hand!”
“If you’re such a great mind reader, then why didn’t you know that guy was gonna fold?”
Hazel pointed at the TV. “I can’t read the minds of people inside the box, silly!”
“Well, then, if you’re really as good at poker as you say you are, why aren’t you and Gwynnie loaded by now?”
Hazel shrugged. “Well, it’s not for lack of trying! Gwynnie won’t let me play for serious cash. She says it’s cheating to use magic for monetary gain.”
Loni lifted a shoulder noncommittally. “Eh, cut her some slack. It’s what they taught us when we were students at the Institute.”
“Still, it would be so amazing to actually get to compete with all those amazing players!” Hazel’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “And take their money, of course! And to think! This is happening live in Vegas right now!” Hazel scowled then. “I can’t believe Gwynnie didn’t take me with.”
“Hey, look on the bright side, Haze. You get to spend the weekend with me and Ed,” said Loni with a little cackle. She leaned back in her seat and stretched her arms. “Well, since you’re enjoying your program so much, I think I might go have a cigar.”
“You’re having it outside, right?”
Loni grimaced. “Oh, fine. I’ll smoke outside. But only because you’re a guest and I’m trying to be accommodating.” She stood up and walked towards the kitchen. “You’re gonna be good, right?”
Hazel frowned at her. “I’m always good,” she snapped.
Loni grinned, exposing her caffeine-stained teeth. “Oh, right, right. A perfect angel. See? I knew Gwynnie was exaggerating. Okay, I’ll be back.” She glanced over at her tabby on the sofa. “Keep an eye on her, Ed.”
The minute Hazel heard the back door closed, she pulled herself up with her cane and hobbled as fast as she could to the kitchen, where she slung her purse over her shoulder and grabbed her favorite pillow. On the way towards the front door, she grabbed her bag of snacks and her pills and shoved them into her pillowcase.
“Where are you off to?” asked Ed, still curled up on the sofa.
“Las Vegas. You’re not gonna try to stop me, are you?”
“Hmmm. I’ve never been to Vegas.” He grinned at her mischievously. “Head south on Green Street and then west on I-76. You’ll be in Pittsburgh in no time.”
Hazel had an ear-to-ear grin as she pulled the front door open. Feeling the wind on her face, she cheered, “Vegas, here I come!”
3
Four cats chased one another outside as Loni slid the glass door shut behind her. She refilled the coffee mug she’d left on the counter and carried it into the living room, where poker was still playing on television. Hazel was no longer in the chair she’d been in when Loni had gone outside to smoke her cigar.
She looked down at Ed, who was curled up on the sofa. “Ed, where’s Haze?”
Ed lifted his head from the worn seat and yawned. “She’s gone.”
Loni’s eyes widened behind her thick glasses. “Gone?! What do you mean she’s gone? The FBI didn’t take her, did they?”
Ed pushed himself up into a sitting position and cleared his throat. “No. She just up and left.”
Loni’s pulse spiked. She raced into the kitchen to find that Hazel had taken her belongings. She ran back to the living room and stood over Ed. “Ed! Why didn’t you tell me she’d gone
? I told you to keep an eye on her!”
“I did keep an eye on her. Until she left. You didn’t tell me you wanted to know when she left.”
“Well, obviously I wanted to know that! Why else would I have had you keep an eye on her?”
Ed licked a paw and swiped it across his face. “I don’t know. To make sure she didn’t steal anything?”
Loni palmed her forehead. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Ed. No! I’m in charge of Hazel this weekend! She wasn’t supposed to leave my sight. Do you at least have any idea where she went?”
He bobbed his furry orange head. “As a matter of fact, she did say Vegas, here I come before she left.”
“Vegas, here I come?!” spat Loni incredulously. Hazel had left for Vegas?! She felt red-hot panic spread throughout her body. “What in the world will I tell Gwyn? Oh my gosh, if I lose Hazel, she will never let me live this down!”
“Well, obviously we’ll have to go after her!” said Ed plainly.
With her mouth hanging open, Loni looked around the room in a panic. “Go after her? B-but I can’t leave the house, you know that!”
“Suit yourself.” Ed shrugged. “But you know if you don’t, it will haunt you forever.”
“But what about the FBI?!”
“They’ll never even know we left the house,” he assured her. “We’ll leave a light on upstairs.”
Loni narrowed her eyes on Ed. “Why do you keep saying we?”
He grinned and twirled his whiskers with a paw. “Well, obviously because I intend on going with you. You’ve hardly been out of this house for the last fifty years. You can’t find your way to Las Vegas by yourself!”
Loni shook her head. “We’re not going to Las Vegas, Ed. We just have to find Hazel, bring her back here, and then tie her to the sofa until Gwyn gets back.”
Ed groaned. “Brilliant plan.”
She pointed at him. “Tell the rest of the family what’s going on while I go put something on.”
“Sure thing, Loni.”
Fifteen minutes later, Loni stood in her living room wearing a blond beehive wig with a pink scarf thrown over the top and secured around her face. She wore a pink bustier with a little red bolero jacket and filmy pink pants, both of which did little to hide her wrinkly stomach that flopped over the waistband of her pants.
Ed crooked his head sideways. “What are you wearing?”
“My I Dream of Jeannie costume,” said Loni, adjusting her scarf so that it completely covered everything from her nose to her chin.
Ed rolled his eyes. “Yes, I see that. I’m wondering why you selected that costume to wear to go find Hazel?”
Loni smiled back. “I don’t know. It’s pretty. Don’t you think?” She held her hands out on either side and did a slow twirl.
“If you say so.”
Loni opened an oversized canvas tote on her sofa and made a sweeping gesture towards it. “Hop in. You’re riding in here.”
While Ed got comfy in the bag, Loni raced down the hallway, appearing only a few seconds later with a broomstick in her hand. “Okay, the car’s ready.”
“We’re taking a broomstick?”
Loni lowered her brows. “How else are we supposed to find Hazel? The girls all went with Gwyn, and I don’t drive. It’s our only option!”
Ed let out a heavy breath. “Fine, we’ll take the broomstick.” After Loni heaved him over her shoulder, Ed cleared his throat. “Oh, and by the way, we should probably start looking at Pittsburgh International.”
“The airport?!”
“Just a hunch.”
Less than an hour later, Loni and Ed touched down on the roof of the Pittsburgh International Airport’s landside terminal. Loni stashed her broomstick behind an oversized air-conditioning unit, and with Ed in the bag over her shoulder, she rushed to the first door she saw. Giving it a solid tug, she groaned, “Ugh, it’s locked.”
Ed poked his head out of the bag. With a paw, he pointed to the far end of the building. “Ladder.”
Loni squinted off into the distance. She cleaned the dried bug guts off her thick lenses. “How can you see that far?” she asked.
“I’m a cat,” he reminded her. “You better hurry. You could be missing her right now.”
Loni put her glasses back on and rushed off in the direction that Ed had instructed, her pink scarf fluttering in the wind. After jogging what seemed to be almost an entire city block across the rooftop, Loni found herself gasping for air. “Holy Catwoman, this place is huge! How will we ever find Hazel inside?”
Ed grinned as he bounced around in Loni’s bag. “That’s why you brought me, my dear.”
Loni got to the edge of the building, tossed her leg over the side, and quickly scampered down the ladder to the ground level. Despite her unusual genie costume, no one seemed to pay Loni any mind as people rushed past, dragging suitcases and screaming toddlers. Taxicabs and little shuttle buses loaded and unloaded people, and planes streaked through the sky overhead. Loni’s eyes widened. It was the first time she’d been to such a bustling place in her entire life! She’d been born and raised in Aspen Falls, had gone to witch college in Aspen Falls, and then she’d sequestered herself inside her home for the last fifty years. This was—amazing! Suddenly the realization of being so far out of her element hit her like a ton of bricks. Her heart pumped so fast she thought she might pass out.
She put a hand and a foot back on the ladder. “I don’t think I can do this, Ed.”
“You have to. Hazel could be in serious trouble! What if she gets lost or gets stolen? I just saw on 60 Minutes that sex trafficking is at an all-time high right now. They find people at busy places like airports and casinos and snatch them up and sell them to the highest bidder.”
Loni’s eyes widened as she gasped. “You think someone would steal Hazel for sex trafficking?”
“They say it’s the oldest profession in the world,” said Ed dryly. “It makes sense that they’d go after Hazel, considering she’s probably the oldest woman in the world.”
Loni shook her head resolutely, despite the pounding in her ears. “I can’t let them steal Hazel!”
Ed reached a paw out of his bag and touched Loni’s arm. “Take a deep breath, Loni. We’ll find her together. We just have to get inside.”
“But what if she’s not in there? What if she found a different way to Las Vegas?”
“Like I said in the air, my senses are pulling me to this airport. She’s here somewhere. I feel it,” said Ed. “Don’t you?”
Loni rubbed her backside. “I do feel a sudden pain in my butt. Does that mean Hazel’s nearby?”
Ed grinned. “Nah, that’s just broomstick chafing. But great metaphor.” He pointed towards the terminal. “Let’s go find Hazel.”
Loni sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly while nodding. “You’re right. Let’s go.”
With her head tipped low so as not to catch anyone’s eye, Loni followed the growing line of traffic pushing their way through the automated glass front doors of the airport. Inside, Loni looked around. Thousands of people were coming and going. Huge monitors covered walls, signs hung from the ceiling with arrows pointing in all directions, and there were information desks, baggage drop-offs, and car rental kiosks.
Loni’s mouth hung open. “Where do I start?”
Ed pawed himself in the chest. “You start with me. It’s time to let the cat outta the bag,” he snickered. “I’ll sniff her out!”
“Are you kidding? That’s your plan? There are thousands of travelers in here! Like you’re really going to be able to sniff Hazel out of all these people?”
Ed rolled his eyes. “The woman smells like Bengay and Twinkies. It’s a pretty distinct combination. There’s no way I’m missing her.”
Loni looked around. There were far too many people for her to search through them on her own, and she couldn’t think of a single spell that would comb the crowd and find Hazel any faster. She sighed.
“Fine. We’ll give it a try.�
�� Loni moved to a little alcove where traffic wasn’t as heavy, removed the tote from her shoulder, and lifted Ed out.
Immediately, he put his nose to the ground and began to sniff. Loni followed him around the ticketing terminal for ten minutes before finally he stopped and looked up at her regretfully. “I’m so sorry, Loni. Not even a whiff of Bengay!”
Loni felt a new wave of panic setting in. She buried her face in her hands. “This is terrible. What if the sex traffickers already snatched her up? Poor, poor Hazel! She probably never dreamed her body would be used as a sex object.”
Ed stifled a laugh. “No worries. I don’t think even Colonel Sanders wants a piece of those chicken legs.”
“Ed!” gasped Loni, bending over to pick him up. “Can you be serious? Hazel is missing and we have to find her before something horrible happens to her!”
He looked around the terminal. “So now what?”
Loni nibbled on her fingernails. She didn’t want to have to do it, but she was out of options. “Maybe I should call Gwynnie.”
Suddenly, Ed put a paw on Loni’s cheek, pushing her face to look at the front door. “Oh my gosh! Look, Lon, the ole raisin is over there!”
“Hazel!” breathed Loni, relief washing over her. She shoved Ed back into the tote and rushed towards the woman, who’d already gotten swallowed back up into the crowd. But now they had Ed’s nose on the case.
“That way,” he said, pointing towards the JetAir ticketing counter.
Loni followed his instructions until he found Hazel in line behind a family of three. “Hazel!”
4
“Loni!” cried Hazel, her saggy eyes widening. “What in the world are you doing here? And what in the hell are you wearing?”
Loni patted her windblown wig and straightened the pink scarf across her face. “It’s my flying outfit.”
“You have a flying outfit?” She glanced down at Loni’s bag. “And why in the hell’d you bring your cat?!”
“Ed and I came to find you and take you home so the sex traffickers don’t get you.”
Hazel Raises the Stakes Page 2
