“Rao!” her voice exploded as she ran to embrace him. The chamber smelled of her healing herbs, which had been separated and spread out atop a yellow shawl on a low table.
“What do I get?” Aayu joked.
“Aayu, I’m so glad that you’ve returned.” She opened her arms to him and squeezed him, too.
“I see you had some furnishings delivered,” Rao eyed the new dark orange furniture. “Are you sure we can afford it?” He said with a wink.
“It was a gift from my father. He had it removed from his own quarters so that I would be more comfortable.” She squeezed him again, then led him across the spacious room. “Try it. Sit down.”
Rao leaned against the smooth fabric of the lounge and put an arm around Narayani, swooning at her exotic perfume. The closeness of her smooth neck aroused his senses in more ways than one. He knew it was all a temporary distraction from the nightmares trying to crowd his mind, but her warm heart and body, along with the presence of Aayu, created a momentary tranquility, a relaxed chest, and a sense of belonging.
Narayani covered her mouth with her hands and began sobbing. “I’d already convinced myself you were dead. A soldier slipped and told me you went off to an ambush.”
He kissed her warm cheek. “My dear, Aayu and I saved ourselves with our abilities.”
“And we beat their stinking asses back to their holes,” Aayu said. “They outnumbered us twelve to one, but we made them run. Because we know things, Narayani. We’ve been telling you not to worry about us—though you nearly had to worry about Rao after what he told your father.”
“Aayu, don’t—”
“What did he say?” She fidgeted as her face flushed with surprise. “What did you tell them?”
“Nothing to worry about, my love.”
“He proposed a duel between himself and their Haizzem. They said no, very quickly.”
Rao braced himself for her disapproval. Her lips twitched and showed feelings of betrayal. He knew she wanted him to feel guilty. He did. “They’re coming back some time tonight. I asked them to consider the idea, and they agreed to do that, but I don’t expect them to change their minds.”
A disgusted sound shot from her mouth. “That is completely mad.”
“I thought it might be a way to end the war without more bloodshed.”
“Except yours!”
Rao put his attention on his breath instead of the words he wanted to speak.
“Listen, Rao could handle him. But,” Aayu paused, “if the Haizzem got lucky—”
“The Rajah and his general come!” Commanding voices spoke through the curved archway.
Rao stood, along with Aayu and Narayani.
His father wore a scowl, something that would have worried Rao just a few days ago, but with each interaction, his notion of his father was softening. Indrajit’s presence, on the other hand, induced tension.
“Hello, Narayani,” his father gave her a momentary glance. “Rao, you know our answer.”
“I understand,” Rao said with a bow of his head.
Devak looked over the three of them and said with finality, “We are glad you are safe.”
“I only wanted the best for Pawelon,”—this is my last chance—“but you know what’s best for us. Please understand, it was not a reckless thought. After what happened today, I feel convinced I could defeat him, and if I had the chance to fight him, this could all be over. They would be devastated, and I am sure they would interpret it as a bad omen, as the abandonment of the gods of Lux Lucis.”
Rao maintained eye contact with both men, despite Indrajit’s distracting stare. “And I thought the worst that could happen if I were to perish is that our men would really have something to fight for as the Rezzians made their final push for our citadel. Of course, if that were to happen, you wouldn’t have stuck to any agreement anyway. It seemed like a scenario where our overall chance of success would improve either way. But I thank you for at least having considered my proposal.”
Narayani’s glare was burning into the side of Rao’s head. He hoped that Indrajit heard something he would like, something that would persuade him. In those brief moments of silence, the general’s eyes glanced sideways as the bottom of his jaw moved in contemplation.
As Rao’s father started to speak, Indrajit interrupted him. “My Rajah, let me be more frank with you, as I should have been before. I am not entirely opposed to Rao’s idea.” Indrajit paused until Devak’s head turned to face him. “I have seen Rao in the field, up close, and I have complete faith in his abilities as a sage. He is a true prodigy. I feel guilty saying this because he is your son.”
“Say what you mean then.” Devak’s brow tightened and his eyes seemed to cut into Indrajit.
“I could never suggest for you to risk your only son’s life. You would have so much to lose.”
His father’s breathing became uneven and his eyes betrayed uncertainty. Rao had never seen his father so flustered before.
Indrajit continued, “And you have already lost so much.”
“I won’t hear of my losses. How many fathers have lost their children? I’m not afraid to lose more.” Devak walked to Rao and gripped his son’s chin, holding it to secure his full attention. “I’ll admit I thought you were a coward. I was wrong.”
“I was wrong about you also, Prince Rao,” Indrajit said.
At least you’re trying to sound sincere. “You could tell the dogs that if they turn down the offer, their general will be executed. And that if their Haizzem defeats me, we’ll surrender the general back to them.” Rao knew that Narayani was in hell right now, that she dared not speak out with her father and the rajah dominating the room.
His father removed his hand from Rao’s face. “The whole thing’s a terrible idea.”
“I understand,” Rao said.
“Devak, while it poses a risk, it also provides a real chance for us to win this war and return home. You have a valiant son, willing to fight for his country’s freedom. You are a blessed man. I envy you.”
His father clenched his jaw as he relaxed his arms at his sides. “Rao, you no longer have to do anything to impress me.”
“I know I can handle him. The Haizzem was there today, and he did nothing against us. Think of how it would shatter their spirits.”
“They’d become even more determined,” Devak said.
Rao suspected his father was right. “If their Haizzem dies, they would believe their gods have abandoned them. They couldn’t defeat us all these years, and if even their Haizzem cannot defeat a savage boy like me, they will have to face the truth about the futility of their crusade.”
“They’d come for us right away and fight to the death is what they would do,” his father said.
“But they take their oaths very seriously. They would think, how can the gods favor us if our Haizzem dies and we go back on our word?”
Indrajit squinted so much that the white of his eyes were gone. He didn’t seem to notice his daughter looking at him desperately. Aayu stood observing and let out a sudden breath that revealed his stress.
The rajah lowered his face again, directly in front of Rao’s. “You’re the Prince of Pawelon.” He paused. “I will leave this to you.” Silence again. “If you were to go through with this and succeed, you would never again have to worry about the support of your people. You would prove yourself to be a worthy rajah someday. And if you were to meet your end, you would die with honor and with everyone’s respect, including mine.”
A shiver traveled down Rao’s spine. “Thank you.”
“I want you to sleep on this. If your mind is still made up in the morning, we could dispatch a diplomat with a proposal.”
“That is wise. I will think it over tonight.”
“Pawelon is a better country because of you,” Indrajit said to his rajah. “Your sacrifices are well known and admired.”
“I have to say something,” Aayu said. “Rao and I worked together today and that’s why our me
n came home. It’s why we won today. He and I are stronger together.”
“I respect your loyalty to my son, but this is his decision.”
Narayani fidgeted and flinched as she stood with no respectable exit.
Rao wondered how his father really felt. What did the old rajah truly value? How many emotions were beneath his proud veneer?
“Rao, come with Indrajit and me,” his father said. “We have more to talk about.”
“Could I join you in just a moment?”
A pause. “Fine. We’ll be at the top of the tower. I expect you soon.”
Rao kept his eyes on the soldiers outside the archway after the two men left the room, dreading Narayani’s coming reaction. A solid blow struck him near his kidneys, and as he turned she turned too, rushing off toward the bed chamber.
Aayu’s lips were pressed together in a flat line with his cheeks tight and bulging. “I’ll go for a walk and be back later."
Rao exhaled forcefully and nodded. He followed Narayani.
“Why are you trying to kill yourself?”
His head shook almost reflexively.
“Why do you want to do this?”
“I want all of us to go home.” He knew she felt abandoned. “I want all of this to end.”
“You don’t have to do this. It won’t change anything, even if you kill him. This has all gone to your head.”
“Narayani, I want to be with you. I want to live my life with you, and do all the things we’ve dreamed of together. I want to get you out of here.”
She shook her head once. “You don’t care about me. You care about your ambition. You’re trying to make your father love you.”
“That’s not true! I can end this war.”
“You’ll be a footnote in history. The last Pawelon prince, whose death sealed the end of our culture. The Rezzians will mock your name forever.”
“Then you don’t believe in me?”
Conviction possessed her dark eyes. “If you do this, I think you’re going to die. That’s what I think.”
Rao looked down and ignored the insult. “I’m doing this for all of us.”
“You’re going to do it?”
“Yes.”
She pointed at him with one finger as she said, “I will hate you.”
“I will never hate you, Narayani.”
She slammed her palms to the sides of her head. Rao reached out a hand, only to be swatted away.
“I love you, and I would not do this if I wasn’t convinced that I’d have the upper hand. Imagine the best scenario, please. It would mean so much to me.”
“Even Aayu thinks it’s a bad idea.”
“Please. Calm. I have to go talk to my father.”
“Fine, practice leaving me now so you’ll be ready to do it again when you die.”
“I have to go, he’s expecting me.”
Her eyes were bloodshot, her lips tight against her teeth. “Right. I know exactly what you care about.”
Rao’s stomach knotted with a sharp pain. I will not desert you. “I have to go now. I’ll be back soon.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be here.”
“My father requested my presence.”
“Goodbye.”
Rao passed the guards outside. Some were Indrajit’s prized men, and others belonged to his father. “There is no need to follow me,” he told them. “I am going right up to my father’s quarters.”
After they reluctantly agreed, Rao climbed the curving stairs until he was well out of the guards’ sight. He sat and leaned against the inner wall. Feeling a dull emotion he couldn’t identify, he lowered his forehead into his hands. The pressure of his duty ached between his temples.
Chapter 34: The Blood That Binds
NARAYANI FUMBLED through her medicinal supplies for her vial of bacopa powder and jar of honey. She combined the two with trembling hands and stirred them with a tiny wooden spoon before eating the mix of sweet and bitter flavors. Within seconds, she felt warm shivers, calming nerves, and a gentle buzz throughout her body.
She collapsed on the stained rug and lay on her side, surrendering to the tower floor. She eyed the crumbling grey ceiling and longed for the amenities of the palace in Kannauj.
When am I going to find one person who won’t leave me?
If Rao were to die, she’d probably be forced to marry someone else for protection. Her mind kept wandering, remembering how utterly alone she felt when her mother left her.
I can’t do this—I need help.
Narayani looked down at her comfortable dress, the plainest garment she’d brought with her, and decided to change into something more attractive. She dragged herself to the low table holding her personal items in the corner, and raised the mother-of-pearl hand mirror Rao had given her after they first met. Her eye makeup was smeared beneath her eyes and needed redoing. She struggled to keep her hands steady at first, but, with heart-pounding determination, finished drawing the dark blue paint on her eyelids and at the corners of her eyes. One thought intruded repeatedly.
Rao’s the same as all the rest.
“Narayani, he—” Aayu said, then stopped himself as if it was hard to say it. “Of course he cares about you. He’s doing what he believes is right for Pawelon.”
“Who would be left to care about me? You probably do more than anyone else I know. That’s depressing.”
“Don’t act like such a little girl.”
“I’m leaving.”
“Where?” Aayu pointed disbelievingly at the archway and the guards on the other side of it.
“Away from here. I’ll walk all the way back to Kannauj.” She began gathering up her medicines, pouring them back into their vials and pouches.
“You’re not going anywhere. Not with your father’s guards here.”
“I am, and because you won’t teach me your sadhana, I’ll probably be taken by bandits and killed.”
Dimples formed in Aayu’s cheeks as he smiled and shook his head.
“Why won’t you help me? No one else will. No one else even cares.”
“That’s absurd.”
She let out a scream and stomped her way over to the mound of pillows. She threw herself down and fought back her emotions.
“Hey, you should be better than that.”
“You don’t know how much I love him. What am I going to do when he gets himself killed?”
“He is my bhai. You think I want him to do this? We can try to talk him out of it, but don’t expect him to change his mind.”
I can’t believe I’m going to try to have a meaningful conversation with Aayu. Narayani sat and looked up at her cousin. “Why do people always leave me? Am I cursed? I’m not an ugly person.”
“Of course you’re not. Don’t be so thick. Let’s think about what happens if Rao wins. We should be optimistic.”
“If he succeeds, he’ll be taken with all of his fame and admiration and won’t have any time for me at all.”
Aayu shook his head with another smirk. “No, he would have more time. We might be able to get out of here. If he goes through with this, he’s going to need our support.”
Narayani huffed out an aggravated breath. All I ever do is support him … that gives me an idea. “But, Aayu, I need your support.”
“What do you want from me?” His eyes doubted her, even as he grinned.
“We both know this could be the end.”
“But I don’t think it will be.”
“Well then, it won’t matter.” Narayani rubbed her fingers across her lips and chin, stalling. “Aayu, I need to learn your sadhana.”
Aayu’s eyes stretched wide, mocking her.
“When Rao fights him, I want to be close enough to see it with my own eyes.”
Still looking at her, he shook his head and made no effort to conceal his amazement. “No, Narayani. No.”
She pleaded with hurt eyes. “I love him. I love him more than I will ever be able to love anything or anyone else ever again.”
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“You want to get yourself killed. What an idea.”
She clenched her fists and looked down at them, struggling not to collapse onto her back and give up on everything.
“I really do care about you, Cousin.”
“I wouldn’t get close to them! I want to see him defeat their Haizzem. Then when he talks about it, I will know exactly what he did. I will always be able to share that with him if I am there to see it.”
“Be serious.” Aayu’s lips pressed together until they were thin.
“Let me love him. Let me be there for him. Please, that’s all I want. I want to be there with him. Please. I will bring my best medicines. If he’s harmed, I’ll revive him. I can do that for him. I will be there to make sure he gets whatever he needs.”
Aayu glared before looking away.
“Please try to understand how I feel. I am losing my sanity, Cousin. I don’t know who else to turn to. You are all I have now.”
Aayu tightened his already clenched jaw. She knew something was starting to get through to him, just a little.
“My father doesn’t even want to look at me after how many years since I last saw him. I just want to be there for Rao. Whatever happens, I need to be there for him. He is all I have, Aayu. What have I ever asked you for? You have to understand how important this is. No one else can help me. Even Rao doesn’t seem to care.” I’m sorry to do this to you, Aayu. “It makes me want to kill myself.”
“Don’t say that!”
“But I do. I am in a really bad state. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I need something to keep me going.” Narayani gritted her teeth. “Before I hurt myself. I’m really close to doing something.”
Aayu walked away, put his hands atop his head, and began pacing the room. He grunted through clenched teeth. With their history, Narayani knew that he would have to take her threat seriously.
After countless trips around the room, Aayu faced the curved outer wall and slammed his forehead against it—not with full force, but enough to be audible. He kept his head against the wall and grunted some more. Narayani remained quiet and gave him time.
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