Aayu whispered, “You and I will get out of here without anyone knowing about it. Leave that to me.” He followed with a wink.
“Just for one night.”
“Anything you want, bhai.”
Chapter 43: Secrets
AAYU AND RAO WALKED along the western edge of the canyon, far below the citadel, against the stony, sun-drenched cliffs. It was still early enough in the day for the insects to fill the air with percussive clatter.
Rao’s out of that neurotic hellbox, away from Narayani, away from his father, away from the generals, away from everyone who wants to touch him and ask him ridiculous questions—all thanks to me.
The air felt cool against Aayu’s skin. “Just relax, bhai. If you observe anything in your mind, return your focus to your breath.”
Having recited the same mantras for shunyata back in the tower, Aayu could see and hear Rao, and Rao could see and hear him.
“We’ve waited long enough,” Aayu said. “They can’t see us even from the tower now.”
“It’s still safer to remain hidden.”
“After this much time, my sadhana changes my sensory perceptions. Colors and edges aren’t as sharp and everything sounds like it’s coming through water. I want to experience the full scenery.”
Rao sighed.
“This drains us of ojas, too,” Aayu said.
“Slowly.”
“And surely.”
“All right,” Rao said with reluctance.
Aayu focused inward and reversed the order of the letters in the mantra, from end to beginning. With a shiver and a sudden awareness of great weight, he found his body and senses returned to their natural condition. Rao joined him.
“Welcome back to normality.” Aayu said.
“Thanks. You’re not suggesting you’re normal?”
“Are you kidding?” Aayu crossed his eyes. At least you can still laugh, Rao. “This,” Aayu said while pointing his hand at the sky and the cliffs above, “is amazing.”
With only a few thin clouds in the sky, soft blue covered the heavens. Aayu filled his lungs a few times, trying to stretch them past their capacity, distracting himself from the subject he’d been dreading.
“Do you think we’ll make it there before dark?” Rao asked.
“Probably not, but at least the moon will be out.”
“It should be full.”
“Tonight, in fact.”
“We need to keep a brisk pace. I’d rather not have to walk the desert at night.”
Aayu thought again about their supplies. They’d packed enough hard fruit, flatbread, and water to sustain them for a few days—more than they should need. They brought two heavy blankets, and Aayu carried a tightly woven canopy that would keep them dry in the event of rain.
Aayu kept his awareness on his breath, stilling his emotions. “I know you have enough on your mind, but I’ve been thinking about something.”
“What’s that?” Rao asked.
“Some things I think you might want to know.”
“I’m listening.”
Aayu wondered, How can two people be brothers if they keep secrets from each other? Then he realized he shouldn’t have thought that at all considering what he shared with Narayani.
Rao continued, “I don’t know if I’m going to be alive in a few days. You can tell me anything.”
“It’s about Narayani. I know she’s annoying sometimes—I think so, anyway—but there are some things you don’t know about her.” Aayu’s pounding heart added to his anxiety. “She told you she never knew her mom, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s not true.” Aayu saw the hurt on Rao’s face, but thought he deserved to know. “Her mom was around a lot until Narayani was six. The woman had a lot of problems. She was always mentally absent, to say the least.” Aayu used his hand to pretend he was smoking. “She wasn’t right in the head even when she wasn’t intoxicated. And of course Indrajit never cared about her. My father told me that Narayani’s mother was a whore Indrajit found in a brothel.”
The two of them walked in and out of shadows cast by the trees. Long whip-like branches curved over them. Rao walked with his head down, apparently integrating the information.
“Narayani didn’t have much growing up. My family looked after her a lot. Her dad’s influence and money got her into one of the best programs at the academy, but other than that I don’t think her parents ever did anything for her, and she tries to forget that she ever knew her mother.”
“Where is her mother then?”
“She left one night. Narayani came running to our house. She ran all the way from the slum districts to the north end of town where we lived at the time and said her mom was gone when she woke up. We never heard from her mother again.” Aayu looked his friend in the eyes and saw him dealing with another overwhelming reality. “Bhai, I know you love her. I’m glad you do.”
“Thank you for telling me. She never likes to talk about how she grew up.”
“I promised her I’d never tell you these things, but …” Aayu stopped himself and then continued. “She’s had some really hard times. When we were growing up, we had to hide all the knives. Otherwise she’d try to cut herself.” Aayu’s voice began to crack. “Damn.” He wiped his eyes. “What am I, a girl?”
“The mark on her arm?”
Aayu nodded. “She did that before dinner one night—started pouring boiling water on herself. My father stopped her before she could pour it on her face.” Aayu’s lungs were working too hard and fast.
“And Indrajit never did anything.”
“Every now and then he’d come by, but if their relationship wasn’t public knowledge, I don’t think he would’ve paid any attention at all. She lived with us for a few years before she went off to study. I think my parents made sure she stayed with us until she stabilized a little bit.”
“Thank you for telling me this.”
Aayu nodded and looked away with guilt nagging him. I know you’ll do the right thing, Rao. “Don’t hold any of it against her.”
“Aayu, I would never do that.”
“You won’t say anything then?”
“Never. I promise you.”
“Good, because you know I’d have to kill you.” Aayu controlled his breathing again and savored the spicy scent of the desert. “She really blossomed after she met you. She’s a lot calmer now, if you can believe that. You just have to be careful with her. Do you see what I am saying?”
“Aayu, I want to marry her someday.”
“I know you love her.” Aayu picked up a rock and felt its coarse, dirty surface in his hand. He threw it as far as he could up the path. “I had it so good growing up compared to what you and Narayani had.”
“Our backgrounds are probably one of the reasons she and I can relate to each other.”
Aayu laughed, trying to break the serious tone of the conversation. “You’re going to need that ability to relate to her when you see her again.” Both of them grinned.
“We both love her, Aayu. We’ll always do the best we can for her. She’s grateful to you. I hope you know that. She doesn’t always know how to say it, though.”
A warm round of contagious laughter bubbled up from Aayu’s chest.
They pushed on at a strong pace the rest of the day. Well past daylight’s end, they began walking downhill toward the enormous Lake Parishana that created the northern boundary of the canyon. The full moon lit their way north, approaching its zenith as they entered the sparse forest near the shore.
Chapter 44: To Ebon
WITH THE MOON RISING in the northern twilight, Lucia held the reins of the three steeds at the rear of the stables.
Hurry, Caio.
She heard quiet footsteps around the corner. Lucia silently drew Ysa’s blade and peeked at two figures approaching; they wore black robes like hers. She whistled into the night, and another returned the call. Lucia pulled back her hood and Caio and Ilario did the same. Their packs,
and Ilario’s weapons, remained concealed.
“Religious duties done for the day?” she asked.
Caio nodded as Ilario occupied himself with scanning the darkness.
“These are the best and the blackest that we have,” she said about the horses in a hushed tone. “Waste no time.” Lucia removed the blanket and sacks from her heavy pack and stowed them in the horse’s empty saddle bag. Ilario and Caio did the same. She fastened Ysa’s shield to her ride and patted the animal, a mare named Ebon, at her neck. Lucia pulled herself up, slinging her right leg over Ebon’s back, and centered her weight over the well-trained beast.
Ysa, grant us safe travel.
The goddess Ysa and Lord Danato towered mere feet away. Ysa wore her armor and observed Lucia’s every movement from atop her massive steed. Danato, in his jet leather, looked into the darkness with an expression of melancholy. The black god stood close enough to lean against Ysa’s great horse, though he remained upright.
“We will have to ride through most of the night to reach the lake,” Ilario said.
“It’s an odd situation Lord Danato has led us to,” Caio said.
“And not one I agree with,” Ilario said.
Lucia had nothing to add, so she kicked Ebon’s side and directed her onto a path that would lead north out of the Rezzian camp. Caio and Ilario followed behind her.
Lord Danato looked to his sister Ysa and she turned her head to him. Without another reaction she followed the three. Danato remained behind.
Once outside the random clack and clatter of the camp, all was silent save the croaking calls of the desert birds, the symphony of insects, and the clomping of hooves. The moon floated ahead of them, pointing the way, while the warmth of day faded to a chill.
“At this pace, we might not get there till morning,” Ilario complained.
“I’ll ask Ysa to speed our journey,” Lucia said before the three went quiet. She prayed again to the goddess of horses and felt a strong response. “I think you should hold on tightly. Something is about to happen.”
The goddess pulled up beside Lucia and touched the black horse’s thigh. Ebon charged forward and the other horses raced after her. Ysa empowered the other horses, too, as they passed by. The goddess halted and watched the three speed along the desert trail.
The goddess blinked as her eyes clouded over with moisture.
Chapter 45: Memories of Home
BY THE TIME the horses made it through the sparse forest and stopped at a stream close to the beaches, the moon glowed from heaven’s vault. Ilario, Caio, and Lucia dismounted and the men dropped to the ground while Lucia leaned against her mare with her head down and her arms over the horse’s back. All of them panted and shivered.
Ilario came up on his hands and knees and waited for his equilibrium to return, for the sensation in his head to stop spinning, for the ringing inside his cold ears to stop.
“Lucia, maybe,” Ilario took a couple breaths, “for our return,” again he stopped to breathe, “you could ask Ysa to slow them down.”
“I tried, Ilario. It didn’t work.”
“That’s been happening a lot lately,” Ilario joked.
Caio’s sweet laughter filled the air, even though Ilario assumed that Caio felt as tired, cold, and nauseated as he did.
The horses were inhaling water from the stream. Ilario finally stood on what felt like solid ground and removed one of their rear saddle bags full of crushed oats and barley. “Let’s feed them, but split them up so they don’t fight over their food.”
Caio and Lucia each led a horse further up or down the river and dumped feed on the ground. The horses seemed even more energized than before as they ate and shuffled, swinging their tails.
“How are they still alive?” Ilario asked.
“Only by a miracle,” Caio said.
“I’ve seen quite a few of those in the last couple days.” Ilario removed their blankets from each of the horses and handed them out. “Here. If I knew we were going to gallop like that, I would have packed a hat too.” He put an arm around Caio’s shoulders. “We’ve made it this far. Let’s go down to the beach?” He stuffed his food sack into his backpack and untied his throwing spear. He walked with Lucia and Caio the short distance to the edge of the forest.
If not for the abundance of moonlight, it would have been hard to see where the water met the beach’s dark red sands. The cove was shaped like a half circle that opened out to the lake. Moderately tall cliffs surrounded it on both sides, so the waves hitting the shore were calm compared to the deeper waters beyond the nook.
“It’s beautiful.” Ilario stopped to observe the image and sound of gentle waves splashing up the sands.
“Have you seen a beach before?” Lucia asked.
“I have.” Wonderful, stretched-thin memories stirred inside him. “When I was young, my family went to the shore north of Peraece every winter. Those were our best times. For some reason, my father loosened up whenever he saw the Rezz Ocean. The rest of the year was nothing but work until our muscles ached, and his lectures about purity and duty. But he genuinely loved the ocean. He should have lived there.”
“I wish I could have met your parents,” Caio said.
“You would have liked my mother. She wasn’t the same after she got sick, though. My father wasn’t easy for anyone to relate to. I don’t think anybody did, not even my mother. He never passed up an opportunity to preach about Lord Sansone. You had to listen to him or face the whip, or else …” He punched his left palm with a fist.
“Good thing you are a part of our family now,” Caio said.
I still regret not seeing them at the end. Ilario’s mind continued to wander, and his mouth with it. “I had to get out of there, and I did find a home in Remaes. I suppose all that hard work paid off in the end. Soldiering was easy compared to my upbringing.”
“My father bragged about you before he selected you,” Lucia said. “He was very impressed with your, as he called it, ‘perfect effort.’ That’s high praise, considering your Andaran blood.”
Ilario stifled a laugh. “Too bad my father didn’t live long enough to find out. I’m sorry for rambling. The water brings me back.”
Lucia walked over and leaned against him, wrapping her blanket around both of them. Ilario realized that if he wanted to, and if he knew how, he probably could’ve cried.
“Let’s go down,” Caio said. “I want to feel the water on my feet. The lake’s creatures won’t swim into shallow waters.”
Lucia and Ilario sat close to the water’s edge, huddled under the blanket, and Caio went into the lake up to his calves.
“How are you doing, Caio?” Ilario asked over the splashing water.
“Everything is more vivid, Ilario. Every tree, every sound. Every wave. Every word means more. I am nervous, but I am not afraid. I am not afraid to die. I don’t believe death would be the end of me. I feel the gods have a plan, and I am hopeful. War has not resolved war. The more we fight, the more we have to fight. It can’t be a coincidence that as soon as we came back from Danato’s realm, you told us about Pawelon’s proposal. Maybe The Black One is giving us a way out.”
“What else did Lord Danato say about coming here tonight?”
Lucia answered. “Not much. He told us to enjoy our time together. He said ride until you reach the beaches, the moon will be bright, and you will remember it forever.”
“It is beautiful here. It’s a shame the lake isn’t safe to sail on.” He hoped that his brooding wasn’t apparent. The influence of Danato was unsettling enough, but now the lake wouldn’t let him take his mind off his past. He didn’t think about his parents much anymore. He’d already done his grieving years ago, however unsuccessfully. When he did think of them, he always wondered if he had been a selfish son. He wondered if anyone had been there to comfort his father when the old man died.
Maybe he was thinking about them because of the duel. It would be a fair fight between the very best and most genuine man on
Gallea versus one of the worst—all left to chance with nothing he could do to affect the outcome. His friend would either live or die, and he would have to watch it happen.
“How are you doing?” Lucia asked him.
“Oh, I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
Caio walked to them and smiled with affection. “I’d like to go for a little walk, just up and down the cliffs. To see more of the lake.”
“Why don’t we stay together?” Ilario asked him.
“I won’t go far. I need a little time to think.”
How can I say no? “Stay close enough so I can see you, all right? If you need anything, call.”
“Thank you, my friend. I will.”
Lucia stood and embraced her brother. She didn’t seem to want to let him go. She rested her head on his shoulder and sniffled, taking in quick breaths.
Ilario watched, thinking he should join her but not knowing how. Something felt wrong, absolutely wrong, but what use were irrational thoughts from an emotional man?
Caio has a lot more to think about than I do.
As Lucia pulled away from her brother, Caio said, “I love you both more than I can say. Now please, enjoy some time together.”
“Very well,” Ilario said. He watched Caio walk back up the beach to where the cliffs began.
Ilario and Lucia snuggled under the blanket. They faced northwest so that they could see Caio walking along the promontory, out above the lake. She felt the warmth of his body and the strength of his chest against her breasts.
“You’ve gone quiet,” she said.
“Just thinking about things.”
She curled an arm around his biceps and cuddled closer. “You can tell me if you want to.”
“I’m not going to be rational for the next few days. And if anything happens to him, I won’t be rational for a long time.”
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