by Jahquel J
“What’s up, Cindy?”
“Can you work for me tonight? I have cramps and I’m tired,” she whined in the phone. Cindy was some Spanish girl that always called out. I worked at Starbucks by the day and stocked shelves at Target at night. She was actually the one person I could call a friend. Plenty of nights she offered her couch to me and Gyan but I turned it down.
“Sure.”
“Thanks. Bring Gyan over so he can have a warm meal and bed tonight,” she demanded. “My shift is overnight, so come and rest until your shift.”
“We’r—”
“Golden, this wasn’t a request. More like a demand,” she told me and ended the call. Cranking the car up, I pulled out of the school’s parking lot and headed to Cindy’s apartment.
Cindy lived in the hood and she wasn’t afraid to let you know. I didn’t care if she lived in the devil’s den, long as my son had somewhere safe to sleep that was all that mattered to me. I pulled onto her block and found a parking spot by the grace of God. Grabbing my purse and overnight bag for both Gyan and myself, we walked through the projects until we came across her building. Taking the pissy elevator up, we got off, and Cindy had the door opened and waiting for us.
“Get in here,” she pulled us inside her apartment. “These crackheads were just arguing out there not too long ago,” she explained as she locked the door.
“Aren’t they always bickering back and forth?”
“Yeah, but I heard her scream and ain't heard her since. Anyway, Gyan you know the drill. Go take your hour bath you love so much, and I’ll have some nuggets and corn on the table for you.”
“I appreciate you, Cindy.”
“No, I appreciate you. You sit down and relax until work later on. I know you need the hours, so grab them up.”
“I can’t wait until things look up. I’m thinking of moving down south if it doesn’t look up soon.”
“Back down south?”
“In Georgia,” I revealed.
Opening the fridge, she pulled out two beers. “Things will look up for you, I promise,” she told me.
“Hope so,” I sighed as I cracked open the beer and kicked my shoes off. “What’s new with you?”
“Nothing much. Darian wants to move in with me and I don’t know how to feel about it,” she announced.
Cindy and her long-time boyfriend had been going back and forth about living together for months. Each time I think they’re going to do it, Cindy switches her mind and calls it off.
“Well, are you going to go through with it this time?”
“I actually think I am. We’ve been talking about it since I called it off the last time, and I think I’m ready for it.”
“I’m happy for you, C. Darian makes you happy, so you should live together and make beautiful Spanish babies.”
“Have a bunch of little Adobo babies running around,” she joked.
“Yess!”
“How’s the apartment hunt going?”
“I’ve seen a few and they were too expensive. I found a basement apartment in Queens. I’m just waiting for the lady to get back to me.”
“Hopefully you get it. It’s far from me, but I’ll make the trip. Until you do, it’s winter and cold. You and Gyan can stay here. It’s the least I could do; you always come through for me.”
Leaning up, I stared her in the eye. She had to be joking with me. If it wasn’t February, I would have sworn it was April Fool’s day. “Cindy, are you serious?”
“Yes. I feel bad that you both are sleeping in your car. Stay here for as long as you need and pay for what you can. Darian will be moving him soon, so it’ll be tight, but we’ll make it work.”
I jumped up and hugged her so tight that she spilled some of her beer. “I appreciate you so much,” I cried as I held her.
“Gold, you’re a good mother trying to do the best you can for your child. I’ll never knock that and I want to support that as much as I can.”
“I’m just praying it all makes sense, you know?”
“It will, Golden. You’re a good mother and it will work out for you.”
“Thank you,” I smiled and sipped my beer. While I had time, I was going to enjoy the TV, relax and get some food before heading back out to work. We laughed at Gyan splashing in the bathroom. He always made a mess in Cindy’s bathroom and she never minded cleaning it. It was as if seeing him smile made it all worth it to her.
I dragged myself out my car and through the projects to get to Cindy’s building. After spending all night on my feet, all I wanted to do was lay on the couch for a good hour before I had to take Gyan to school. Working two jobs, raising my son and trying to keep my sanity was hard. Sometimes I wanted to go back to Virginia with my tail tucked between my legs. If I apologized to Grand, he would get us a condo, and we could co-parent our son together. Then, I got the urge to call his phone and tell him to suck my balls. I just prayed that Gyan didn’t resent me when he got older. It wasn’t like he was a baby and didn’t know who his father was. He never asked about him and that worried me. Was he trying to protect my feelings? Or did he not truly give a shit about his father?
“Move on out the way, Beauty Queen,” The crackhead from across the hall spat as she pushed the door open and checked the mail.
“Excuse your stink ass too… Smelling like a pound of crack and chicken,” I shot back and pressed the elevator door.
“Bitch, if this check ain’t in here, I’m gonna take my anger out of you.”
“Listen, Ms. Crackhead Sally, you touch me, and I’m gonna whip your ass so bad that you gonna be running the crack on your bruises instead of smoking it.” When she saw me place my work bag down, she backed her ass up toward the mailboxes and left me the hell alone.
If threatening crackheads early in the morning was the price I had to pay for having a warm roof over my head, then I was willing to do it every morning. When I told Gyan what Cindy told me, he was so happy and excited that he had somewhere warm to sleep until we found a place to live. I knocked on the door and waited for Cindy to answer. When she did, she was already dressed in workout attire with a cup of coffee in her hand.
“Good morning!” she smiled. “Here, take some.” She handed me the cup of coffee as I placed my work bag on the floor.
“Why are you so loud?”
“Girl, I’m always loud in the morning. I took it upon myself to get Gyan ready for school. You go and get some sleep; I’ll drop him off when I bring Darian to work.”
“Darian?”
“Yeah, he came over last night. We talked all night and decided that we are going to move forward with moving in together. I really love this man, Golden.” She poured some Captain Crunch into a bowl.
“Awe, I’m glad that you both were able to come to an agreement about y’all situation.”
“Yeah, I’m glad too. For a minute I was worried about what would happen between us. I’m not ready to move on with no one and he’s who I want to be with,” she went on and on about her boyfriend.
“Mommy, how was work?”
“It was good, baby. How did you sleep?”
“Like an angel.” He sat down as Cindy put down the cereal in front of him.
“Good. You sure you want to take him to school? I can run him there, so it doesn’t take time out of your day.”
“He’s fine, Golden. I’ll drop him first and then go drop Darian before heading to the gym. You need to be worried about getting some sleep. Don’t your work at Starbucks around four?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“Need me to pick him up from school?”
“Cindy, I don’t want you to fe—”
“I’ll pick him up,” she cut me off. “I want to help you out, sis. It’s not a problem for me to scoop him up after my hair appointment, I’m off today anyways,” she further explained.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. Gyan, come on so you won’t be late.”
“This my first time not being there
for free breakfast,” he jumped down from the chair and went to grab his book bag. “Bye, Mommy.”
“Later, babe. I love you so much.” I kissed his forehead.
Darian came out the bedroom with his work clothes on. He was a Jamaican man with dreads and looked rough. All that was missing was his accent. He gave me a simple head nod as he looked me over and then turned his attention to Cindy.
“Aye, baby, we’re going to drop off Gyan first.”
“Ight.” Was all he said as he grabbed a bottle of water out the fridge and headed to the door. Cindy was so smitten by this man and I couldn’t figure out why.
From all our conversations, she was always crying about how he cheated or was disrespectful to her. It was why she decided not to move him into her apartment. From the way he stared at me, I could tell if I wanted to flirt with him he would entertain it. As much as I wished he wasn’t moving in, it was something I had to deal with. Who was I to tell her who she could have in her place?
“See you later, Golden. Get some sleep too,” she told me.
“I will,” I yawned as I locked the door behind them.
After I showered and made some breakfast, I got comfy on the couch and went to sleep. The time for me to head to my second job would be here before I knew it. Sleep was exactly what I needed right now. I said a quick prayer for better times and then drifted off to sleep.
2
Hazel
“Yolani, you need to get up, so we can head to your brother’s house. He’s been calling you for the last three hours and I’m tired of hearing your phone ring off the hook.” I shook my wife and tried to wake her up.
She grumbled a few words and then put the pillow over her head. “Haze, I’m tired as fuck. Let me sleep, baby.”
Pulling the silk sheets off her body, I pulled at her feet until she finally agreed to get up. She sat on the side of the bed with an evil expression plastered on her face. “The fuck, man. I’m tired as shit.
“Too bad. Your brother is having his little memorial event for Ashleigh,” I reminded her, and her expression changed.
“Damn, that’s today? Why you didn’t tell me?”
“Babe, why else would I be in the Gucci store getting you a white button-up shirt? The shower is running, and I put the heated floors on too, hurry up.” She stood up and stretched before she walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.
Yolani was my entire world and then some. When we met in high school, I knew I wanted to be her wife. Well, not automatically, but it took some years for me to figure that out. We were always the best of friends and hung out all the time. At the time, I was into men, and she would always be the shoulder I cried on when they ended up breaking my heart. It was always Yolani that was there for me when I needed her the most. Our friendship took some hits, but through it all, we both remained true to each other. When we graduated high school, I tried my hand at college and realized it wasn’t for me. I started doing nails out of my parent’s basement and Yolani was there to support me. All the chicks she would mess with, she would make them get their nails done by me and then told me to charge them twenty-dollars more than it cost.
After my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and had a baby, I was done with dating. I enrolled in nail school and got certified. Yolani was right there for me the entire time. I started to develop feelings for her and never told her. How could I have ignored this woman that had been there for me when no one else was there? Each fall I took, she was there with her hand to help lift me up. My parents were proud of my accomplishments but would have preferred college over nails. Each chick that Yolani dated, I always nit-picked. I told her that she deserved better and that this chick just wanted her for the money she had. It was no secret that Yolani was a bully in these streets. I mean, she learned from the best; her big brother, Yoshon. The Santana name and guns ran in the same circles. There wasn’t a street soldier with a gun that didn’t get it from the Santana siblings. Because of her name, money, and cars, chicks wanted her. When she broke up with her girlfriend at the time, it was now or never.
I had to speak up and tell her how much I loved her, that I had always loved her and never said anything about it. Our friendship meant more than getting into a relationship that could possibly fail. So, instead of telling her how I felt, I hid my feelings and got into another relationship. I continued to be quiet about my feelings until Yolani told me how she felt. She told me how she loved me since the day I walked into her homeroom class. She went on to explain how she wanted to be with me but didn’t want to fuck up our friendship. That night, I made love for the first time in my entire life.
Then, I had to deal with the fact that I had a man willing and ready to give me the entire world. Yolani had my heart and she knew it. Fast forward four years and we’ve been married for exactly a year. The first year was hard. Yolani was a hoe and she loved to get around. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to pull up on her and show her that she married the right one. It took all of five minutes for me to pull off my jewelry and beat a bitch’s ass. Eventually, she realized that I wasn’t the one to fuck with and stopped fooling around. So, I liked to think she did. There were rumors and I wasn’t a fool. The proof was right in my face, and I sat there and listened to her tell me how those women were lying.
“Damn, you couldn’t put the heat on?” she complained with the towel wrapped around her.
“Just hurry and get dressed. You know Yoshon hates when we’re late. I don’t feel like being lectured.”
“Yeah, I got you. Make me something to eat,” she called behind me as I walked downstairs to make her a quick sandwich.
Yolani was twenty-six and I was about to turn twenty-five. I’ve always been smart and had skipped a few grades. It was the main reason my parents were upset that I chose to paint nails instead of going to college to become a doctor. Yolani was the only person who knew how passionate I was about doing nails. For my twenty-third birthday, she handed me the keys to a retail space. It was then that YoYo’s Nails was created. I had to thank her for always believing in me. She never asked to be a partner or asked for money in my business. She just wanted me to truly win and it’s why I fell in love with her. My parents didn’t agree with my lifestyle and told me that I should have married a man. They told me that Yolani couldn’t give them grandchildren and I needed to get over this phase in my life. Loving Yolani wasn’t a phase in my life. I loved my wife with my entire heart; I just wished my parents and Yolani understood just how much I loved her. My love was real and it wasn’t a joke.
“I’m surprised you not at the shop this morning.” Yolani came downstairs buttoning her shirt.
My wife was so fucking sexy. At first glance, all you saw were tattoos all over her body and they came up both sides of her neck. She had thin pouty lips, that led up to a snub nose. Then her eyes, she had these sleepy eyes that I could never resist. She always made me braid her hair in four braids. Two in the front and two in the back. Yolani was the AG of our relationship and I was the fem. I loved my heels, skirts and anything girly, while she would be caught in men’s clothes. She had been through some deep shit that made her the way she was.
“I had my assistant move all my dates until next week. My clients are going to be pissed, but I need the time off.”
“Shit, I’m not complaining.” She licked her lips as she neared me.
“Oh please, you’re never home.”
“You already know how it goes.” She pulled her Rolex out her pocket and fastened it around her wrist.
“Yeah, I do. I also know that those bitches frequenting the traps need to stop. Those bitches bust heads or something?”
Yolani started laughing and shook her head. “Yo, you was never crazy as fuck when we were friends. Nah, I take that back.”
“I wasn’t your wife, Yolani. There’s no reason these bitches are in your face smiling all up in your face. I don’t know what’s worse, them doing it or you allowing it.”
“You gonna start with this shi
t now? Like, come the fuck on!” she raised her voice like I gave a fuck that she added some base in her voice.
Yolani knew I couldn’t stand these bitches in her face, yet she allowed them to smile in her face and give her little phony hugs. It was one of the biggest issues in our marriage. I wasn’t a fool and I heard the rumors about my wife. There was several that she was messing around with a chick in the Bronx. If I listened or followed up on every rumor that came into my shop, my business would be failing. If Yolani was out there doing me wrong, it was going to come back to me, and she would have to deal with it then. Did I like that I had to worry about other bitches around my wife? I didn’t, and it annoyed the shit out of me that she thought the shit was funny.
“I don’t give a damn about you raising your voice, Lani. You know what it is and I’m tired of you acting like I’m the one that’s crazy.”
She grabbed the toast out the toaster and stared at me. “You know you beautiful when you mad, right?”
“Stop trying to switch the subject. I’ve been hear…” my voice trailed off as she accepted a call in the middle of my conversation. This was the shit that I couldn’t stand with her. It was always about business when it came to her.
I could never get a word in because she was always handling business. Yoshon used to be the same way, but when Ashleigh got sick, he stepped back from the streets. He allowed Yolani to handle everything while he made sure his fiancée was good. Once in a while, I wanted Yolani to step back and care for me. Our time together was spent in passing. She would kiss me and then go on her way. All I wanted was for my wife to spend some time with me and make the effort. It didn’t take much to make me happy. I would settle for a trip to Burger King if that meant that I got to spend time with her alone without business being handled. It was all wishful thinking as I pulled her sausages out the frying pan and got ready to head to Yoshi's house.
