by Jahquel J
“You’re beautiful. You know that?”
“I’ve been told plenty of times.”
“Did you believe it?” Now, what kind of question was that? Did I believe when someone called me beautiful? When my grandmother called me beautiful, of course, I believed her. When Grand told me, I believed him until his actions showed otherwise. If I was so beautiful, why did you feel the need to cheat with these other women? Why wasn’t I enough for you?
“Sometimes I do.”
“Do you believe it when I say it to you?” He stared at me. It was as if he was staring into my damn soul with how deep he was staring at me.
“Partly.”
“Why partly? Tell me something, who hurt you in your past for you to have this wall up?” Tonight wasn’t the night to get all deep about our feelings.
“A lot of people have hurt or let me down. Building this wall up protects me from getting hurt. I have a son depending on me, and I can’t keep taking all this heartache and pain every time someone doesn’t come through for me or lets me down. I guard myself to stay strong for my son.” He watched as I pushed my plate away. My appetite was gone and I didn’t want to eat anything anymore.
Yoshon touched my hand gently and I looked up at him. “I got you. If I tell someone I got them; it’s because I do. You don’t never got to worry about me letting you down, because I got you.”
His phone started buzzing on the table and the name Eva popped up. “It’s fine. I’m going to clean up in here and watch a movie downstairs,” I told him with a smile.
“Nah, I’m talking to you. I’ll answer her call later,” he told me and held my hand down onto the table. “Do you believe me when I say I got you?”
“Yoshon, I appreciate all that you have done for me and Gyan so far, but I’m just sitting back and waiting for the dream to come to an end.”
He looked hurt by my reply. I just met him and didn’t expect him to carry me for his entire life. If they people that I’ve known for years let me down, I didn’t expect him, who I’ve met a few days ago to hold me down.
“Guess I gotta prove that to you,” he told me as he ignored the third call. “Let me take this and I’ll help you clean the kitchen.”
“I got it. Go enjoy your night,” I nudged him along.
“We gonna finish this conversation,” he told me and got up to take his call. I smiled as I gathered the dishes and went on to cleaning the kitchen. It was the end of the day, and I just wanted to relax and catch up on a movie.
It took me two hours to clean the entire kitchen. Yoshon had went to answer that call and never came back. I assumed he was on the phone smoothing whatever over with his little girlfriend. I carried myself up to my room and found that Gyan went into his own bed. After checking on him, I went to shower. While I washed my hair, I thought about what I wanted in life. Did I want to depend on people for the rest of my life? Yoshon looked as if I hurt his feelings when I doubted what he said. He had to understand that I was used to getting let down. My life had always been a bit of a struggle, and he couldn’t expect me to automatically trust what he was saying. His actions were backing up his words now, but what would the future hold? I sauntered out of the bathroom wrapped in a thick pink robe and went into the bedroom.
“Ah, what are you doing in here?!” I screamed and jumped when I saw Yoshon sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I told you we would finish this conversation.” He stared at me seriously.
“Boy, if you don’t get the hell out this room. That conversation was finished downstairs.” I went into my bags on the floor and grabbed some sweats and a shirt.
“Watch a movie with me,” he demanded.
“I’m tired… I want to go to sleep.”
“And I wanna watch a movie. If you fall asleep, I won’t hold it against you.”
“Why do you want to watch a movie? Shouldn’t you be calling Eva to come and watch a movie with you?”
“Chill. Me and Eva taking a small break right now,” he tried to convince me. If he was taking a break because of me, he minds well go on and call whatever little relationship they had, back on.
“Don’t take a break because I’m here. I don’t plan on being here too long. Since you wanna talk so much, when the hell can I work so I can start making some money?”
“You need to get you a laptop.” He smirked. “All I’m trying to do is get to know you better. Is that so wrong?” He touched his chest like he was hurt.
“You’re full of it,” I laughed. “About this laptop, you providing that?”
“Yeah, if you come and watch a movie with me.”
“Negative.”
“Yo, you playing games with me like I won’t carry your ass out of here and make you watch a movie with me.” He stood up and I ran back into the bathroom while giggling. If he picked me up, all my goodies would have been on front street, and he didn’t need to see all of that. Quickly, I slid on some panties, sweats and crop top on and came out the bathroom.
“Like I said, you be—” Yoshon came over and swooped me up and carried me out the bedroom. His strong arms held on tight to me as he maneuvered down the stairs into the basement where the projection screen was already set up. I didn’t kick or scream because I wanted to watch a movie with him, I just was being difficult.
“All that mouth and your ass let me carry you down here,” he said as he placed me gently down on the couch. I watched as he powered down his phone and went over to the bar to fix a drink.
“Golden, you got me feeling some type of way about you,” he started.
Pulling my legs under my butt, I stared at him as he fixed the drinks. “Oh yeah? What kind of way are you feeling about me?”
“You don’t want to spend no time with me. Got me in my feelings and shit.”
“I’m used to spending time with my son or alone. So, don’t feel offended, I just like being in my own company.”
“Clearly. We living under the same roof, shouldn’t we be doing shit together?”
He handed me a light pink drink and sat down beside me. I watched as he kicked his shoes off and kicked them up in the ottoman. “Yum, how did you learn how to make drinks?” I continued to sip this drink.
“Shit, I don’t. All I did was mix a bunch of shit in the cup until it stopped looking like a doo-doo green. “
“Oh, how nice.”
“I drink my shit straight, but I know you ladies like all that fruity shit. You like it so that’s all that matters.”
“That I do. Now, how you gonna make it again when you don’t know what you did? I like it and I’m gonna want another cup.”
“Nah, I don’t need you trying to push up on me and shit. Pick a movie,” he told me. I went to Netflix and found my favorite movie.
27 dresses was my favorite movie when I was about to get married. I watched that movie over and over again, and it never got old to me. It had been a while since I last watched it and tonight with my drink was a perfect night.
“You would pick a chick flick, wouldn’t you?”
“You’re going to like it. It’s a bomb movie, I promise.” He took his drink to his head and then leaned back on the chair. I sipped my drink and got excited for the movie to start.
“I’m bored already. The fuck shorty going to all these weddings for?”
“She’s a wedding planner, Yoshon,” I giggled. “It’s her job to be there and see all her planning come together.”
“So, I gotta pay for her to plan my wedding and pay for a plate at the wedding? Nah, Pit Pat can plan my whole shit.”
“Only you would think of all of that. And she’s the bride’s maid, not the wedding planner.” I hadn’t watched the movie in a while, so I mixed up the movie with my other favorite wedding movie.I thought back to my wedding day. We had a small ceremony and it wasn’t all glamorous. I was pregnant, and my feet were swollen, so I didn’t enjoy myself.
Just because my marriage with Grand went to hell, I wasn’t giving up that I’d marry a ma
n that would cherish me and help me raise Gyan, like a real man was supposed to. Each time I watched this movie, it made me believe that there was a man out there that was waiting for me. A man that would cherish me and wouldn’t find solace between other women’s legs. Then, I was hit with reality that I was a single mother working hard to try and put a roof over both me and my kid’s head.
“Let me get this straight. She’s like the boss, but this other nigga over here sending her flowers and shit?”
“Yep,” I snapped out of the quick slumber I had fell into. It was a hour into the movie, and I found myself dozing off. When I leaned up, I was laid up under Yoshon, and he had a fur throw laid across.
“Your ass was knocked the fuck out. How could something so beautiful snore the way you do?” He pulled my feet over the top of his legs, and I got comfortable.
Laying here cuddled in the corner didn’t feel weird at all. It felt like we were just chilling and getting to know each other. My eyes were heavy and each time he asked a question, I had to pinch myself to focus on the screen. Eventually, I feel asleep and felt the covers being pulled over me as I drifted deeper and deeper into my sleep.
“Wake up, Sleepyhead,” I felt Yoshon shake me gently. I woke up and the movie had ended, and he was staring at me.
“I slept through the whole movie; I was tired as hell.”
“I know. I noticed you cleaned my room and shit. Just because Pit Pat is hard headed and does it, don’t mean you need to. I’m a grown man and I’m capable of cleaning my own room.”
Yawning, I stretched and sat up on the couch. “Your room was the least of my problems. I just came in and straightened your bed up and kept it moving.”
The entire time I was speaking, he was staring right into my eyes. It caused me to blush because this look he gave me, I don’t know I couldn’t describe it. It was as if he was mesmerized by me or something.
“I appreciate that,” he told me and touched my hand. I watched as he locked his hands into mine and bent over and kissed me on the lips. Electric sparks flew through my body when our lips met.
Breaking the kiss, I whipped the blanket off me. “No, I can’t… we can’t,” I stammered and headed upstairs.
My head was screaming for me to get out of there and my body was yelling for me to stay right there and see where it went. I tripped up the stairs, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and headed to my bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind me. I couldn’t…. we couldn’t. This man was in a relationship, despite what he wanted to call it. Not to mention, I was staying in his home as a guest. We couldn’t cross those lines and I wouldn’t allow us to cross those lines. Pit Pat needed to bring her ass back here – quick. My kitten hadn’t been scratched in close to a year; I didn’t know how much I could avoid him. His lips… Man, his lips felt so soft and perfectly placed on mine. Then his chest, when I pushed his chest to get up, I wanted to pull him on top of me and wrap my legs around him. The thoughts that went through my head were thoughts that I couldn’t afford to entertain. Going there with Yoshon only meant trouble, and the trouble would be me trying to find a place to live with my son. That was something I wasn’t willing to gamble with at this moment.
13
Yoshon
The sun came crashing through my windows, and I was immediately pissed I forgot to put down my drapes last night. After Golden rushed out the basement like someone was chasing her, I went after her. When her door was locked, I retreated to my bedroom and fell asleep soon as I hit the bed. Eva was probably hitting my phone up like crazy and I was glad I turned my phone off. Seeing Golden in that kitchen and how she was so attentive to her son’s needs made me feel a way about her. She reminded me of Ashleigh in more ways than one. The way she was domestic, yet I could tell she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and work. Her innocence was what made me kiss her last night. I knew it was a bold move, and I didn’t know how it would end, but something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to end the night without seeing what her lips felt and tasted like. Now that I had that kiss, her ass was on my mind like crazy. I kind of expected her to run away, because the shit was unexpected. When I carried her fine ass downstairs, I wasn’t thinking of kissing her. Then, when I saw her stretching and how her hair was all over the place, and she had a little drool on the side of her lip, the shit made me go in for the kill.
Looking over at my alarm clock, I sighed and pulled the covers off me. It was Sunday, and although I didn’t have shit to do today, I needed to power my phone on and see what the fuck had been going on while I checked out last night. Reaching for my phone, I pressed the button and watched the apple appear on the screen. Soon as it went to my home screen, a bunch of calls and text messages popped on my screen immediately. I didn’t do the social media shit, so if anybody needed to get in contact with me, they had my phone number. Not too many had my number, so I knew it had to be Grape, Yolani or Eva. Scrolling through the numbers, I stopped when I heard someone at my door.
“Yo,” I called out.
“It’s Gyan.”
“Come in,” I told him and sat up on the bed with my phone in my hand. Eva’s ass had left twelve messages back to back.
“Good morning. Mommy is still sleeping, so I brought you an egg sandwich.” He carried a plate in the room with a cup of orange juice.
“How you know how to cook? You could have come and got me if you were hungry.”
“It’s okay. Mommy taught me how to make eggs when I was five. She told me I needed to learn how to cook so when I got a wife; my wife don’t have to cook all the time.”
I laughed and set my phone down to accept the plate. “Thank you, lil’ man. I appreciate this. Did you eat?”
“Yeah, I ate before I brought you and Mommy’s food up. You’re welcome. Are you going to be busy today?”
“Nah, I was thinking of chilling for today. What about you?”
“I was going to ask mommy to take me to the zoo today, but it’s closed. We’ve never been to the zoo here in New York.”
“You’re in New Jersey, and I can take you. Today seems like the perfect day to chill at the zoo.”
“Yayyy! I’m going to tell mommy.”
“How about you go shower and get dressed, and I’ll go let your mommy know?” He nodded his head and stood there. “What’s up?”
“You gonna taste the sandwich; I did work hard down there.”
I let out a loud laugh because this kid was too much. He watched as I took a big bite and chewed it some. “Man, this is good.” I tasted some eggshells, but it was the thought that counted.
“Yay. I’m going to shower and then we’re off to the zoo. Thank you, Mr. Yoshon.”
“Call me Yoshon.”
“Mom says that I need to call adults Mr or Mrs. Pit Pat told me not to, and mommy said it was okay.”
“Let’s keep it between me and you.” I smiled.
He smirked and headed out the room. I finished off the sandwich and washed it down with the orange juice. I quickly went to brush my teeth and wash my face, and then went down the hall to Golden’s room. Gyan had left the door cracked, so I squeezed in, and she was still asleep with the sandwich next to her. I moved the plate out the way and replaced it with my body. She moaned when I rubbed her back and got more comfortable into the bed.
“Not right now, Gee,” she moaned. Who the fuck was Gee? “Ugh, I said not right now. Let me sleep, I have to get Gyan up for school in a bit,” she continued to talk in her sleep.
“I don’t know about Gee, but I’m Yosh, and your son is up but ain't no school today.” Soon as the words left my mouth, her eyes popped opened, and she stared at me.
“Why are you in my bed?” she questioned calmly.
I half suspected that she would overreact like she did last night. “We going to the zoo.”
“The zoo, who said?”
“My main man, Gyan. He never been to a zoo out here, so we’re going to one.”
“It’s snow on the ground. The zo
o isn’t going to be opened,” she assumed. The zoo had been closed for the majority of the winter.
“The sun is out and it’s melting. Today will be in the high forties, get up so we can go and enjoy our day.” I got out the bed and headed to the bedroom door. She pulled the covers over her head and mumbled something. “You acting like I won’t drag you out the bed.”
When she heard me threaten to pick her ass up again, she ripped the blankets off her body and sat up in the bed. “You’re lucky I don’t feel like being picked up.” She stared at me with squinty eyes and went into her bathroom.
Laughing, I went back to my room, so I could shower and get dressed for the day. Soon as I stepped foot into my bedroom, my phone was ringing. Sighing, I slid my finger across the screen and answered.
“Why was your phone going to voicemail all night?” she asked real calmly. Almost too calm for somebody who spent the whole night blowing up my phone.
“I was tired and didn’t want no distractions, man. Pit Pat not here, so I was enjoying being alone and shit,” I lied, and I could have told her what it was. However, did I really feel like telling the truth and then arguing with her ass today? Nah, lying seemed like the easiest way out.
“Well, you could have called me over, and we could have spent time together.”
“It wouldn’t have been me being alone. Plus, I just linked with you yesterday all day. I’m not feeling too good anyway.”
“You sick? This weather has been crazy.” She switched her tone. Eva was good with caring for someone. She would give her last to make sure you were fine, and it was something I could appreciate about her. Still, the smothering shit she been on lately was getting on my damn nerves. Calling me every five fucking minutes and then questioning me like we were together or some shit.
“I’m cool. I’m gonna chill out for the day and take some meds. Don’t stress; you work today?”
