Slowly he raised his gaze. When it finally met mine, I could see his vulnerability laid bare in them. “We both already knew you’d get classified as a distractor.”
I remembered Debbie mentioning that during my first week here. “What about it?”
“I just … I didn’t realize how much it would bother me—you officially becoming one.”
I raised my eyebrows but said nothing.
Caden glanced away. “The directors and instructors would like you to believe being a distractor is innocent—it’s not. You haven’t been here long enough to learn otherwise. But I have.”
At his words, a sense of unease slowly crept in.
“Why didn’t you say anything earlier, when Debbie first mentioned it?”
His jaw worked. “It seemed so implausible at the time. You’d just arrived and had no formal training. I assumed that if it came to the simulations, the directors would quickly see that you weren’t ready. But after that last simulation …” Caden shook his head. “They noticed that you distracted a target enough for him to actually follow you. You impressed them.”
He looked back at me, and my eyes darted between his. I’d shown too much. I’d broken the first rule I’d taught myself after my ability manifested—never let others see more than they need to.
“What will they ask me to do?” I was almost afraid to voice the question, but I had to know.
He moved closer to me, so that we were less than a foot apart. “At first I’m sure it will be easy—just a little flirting, like earlier today. And then they’ll want you to actually do something—maybe just kiss your target—and you’re not going to be okay with it. But you’ll do it for the sake of your teammates and for the sake of national security. And it will kill a little part of you inside. And I’ll have to stand by and pretend it doesn’t matter. But it does, it will. And I’m not okay with it.”
A chill had made its way underneath my skin. For all the horror I’d discovered about the Prometheus Project, I hadn’t really thought through this aspect of the program. Of course distracting targets could mean more than just flirting with them. Why had I foolishly bought Debbie’s lie when she’d downplayed the role? I knew better.
But did it even matter? The government owned me. So long as I lived under their roof, I’d have to do what they asked of me.
I shook my head and closed my eyes.
I felt Caden take my hand and squeeze it. “I won’t let that happen to you.”
I opened my eyes. “I don’t think either of us has the power to stop it.”
That evening, I hopped onto the Internet to check my emails. My parents and Ava still hadn’t responded.
I pushed away from my desk, grabbed my phone, and stared at it. I’d received no calls and no texts since I’d arrived here. That hadn’t really surprised me, considering that my phone didn’t get reception.
But the emails? I should’ve received one from both Ava and my parents by now.
Could someone be screening my messages? The thought filled me with dread.
A couple years ago I’d become briefly fascinated with cults; I read anything and everything I could get my hands on concerning them. One of the main things I remembered was how they indoctrinated and retained new members. Isolation. Severing communication from the rest of the world. That was exactly what the project seemed to be doing.
With that thought in mind, I opened my social media sites for the first time since I arrived. When each of the sites loaded, the same message appeared.
We’re sorry, but the page you wish to visit has been blocked. For more information, click here.
I cursed. They’d blocked me.
And now that I actually thought about it, I hadn’t teleported to my parents or Ava’s house since I arrived. Usually when I was homesick, I visited those places and people I longed to see. I could remember at least one night last week where I fell asleep thinking of my family. They’d been controlling my nightly visits.
Whatever long-term plans the project had in mind, they didn’t include our families.
I sat at my computer for a long time, trying to figure out what to do with this information. I could just sit back and do nothing, like I had been, but this latest knowledge was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The project would work me until I was all used up—until I gave them every last drop of my blood—and only then would I be freed from this place. And would anyone miss me? Did anyone even remember the teleporters who had died before me?
It was all a great waste. If I was doomed to die, then I might as well use my time productively.
A slow smile crept across my face, though there was nothing happy about my thoughts. I had to take some sort of action, and I only knew of one person who might be able to help—Adrian.
Now that it was obvious the project controlled where I teleported to, I wasn’t sure I could trust him. But he was my only option. If I could get him to contact my parents, then they could work on my situation from the outside.
It might also put their lives in danger.
I scrubbed my face with my hands. Okay, I couldn’t involve my parents, not if that meant risking their lives. But Adrian was already on the run from the government. His situation couldn’t really get much worse, and he knew things about me and about the project that might be important … that might be worth knowing.
But what I was thinking of was more than just learning the project’s secrets. I wanted to expose those secrets and take the project apart piece by piece. This was no longer just about escape. More lives than mine needed to be saved. I just hoped Adrian felt he had as little to lose as I did. That was the only way he’d agree to this.
A short while later someone knocked on my door.
“Come in!” I called.
Caden sauntered in, wearing a fitted button down and jeans. He looked like he’d just walked off an Abercrombie ad.
He eyed my yoga pants and baggy shirt and sighed. “You haven’t checked your email, have you?”
The irony was that I had; I just happened to get distracted before I could read all of the messages.
“What’s going on?”
“The students are hosting a party in the gym to commemorate the end of simulations and the beginning of missions.”
“Sounds fun.” In truth, I didn’t feel in the mood to commemorate anything. People had been hurt because of me, Eric had gotten spliced, and now I knew that the project got away with all this bloodshed by keeping teleporters isolated from their former lives.
Caden leaned against the wall next to me. “Will you be my date tonight for the party?”
I blinked a couple of times. “Will there be dancing?”
He folded his arms. “It’s a party, what do you think?”
Geez, testy. “Will I be required to dance?”
Caden raised an eyebrow, a smile curling his lips up. “Hell yeah, if you’re my date.”
I cringed and his dimples deepened. “I could’ve sworn the last time we danced together you were enjoying yourself,” he said.
“Our lives were in danger,” I said. “You were a nice distraction, but I wasn’t exactly enjoying myself in the simulation.”
“Then let me make sure you enjoy yourself tonight.”
How could I say no to that?
Reading my expression, Caden opened my door. “I’ll be back in ten minutes to pick you up—and I’m holding you to that dance, princess.”
Sweaty bodies brushed up against me as I swayed on the dance floor in one of the few clubby dresses I owned.
I was more than just a little drunk.
For the last thirty minutes I’d stood on the sidelines, downing obviously spiked energy drinks—apparently that was the closest thing to punch the facility had—while Caden and I chatted with friends. He’d bee
n patiently waiting for me to dance with him, but I hadn’t wanted to go until the crowd had thickened a bit more and I’d loosened up.
At the time all I wanted was a little something to take the edge off. Only now it was clear that I’d had much more to drink than I thought.
And of course the moment I’d finally gotten the urge to dance, Caden had wandered off.
So here I was, drunkenly dancing by myself under the dim lights of the gym. I let myself go, living in each pulse of music. The alcohol gave me sweet relief from my troubles, and for the first time in a long time, there was nothing I was worried about.
A pair of hands snaked around my waist. I turned and faced a dark-haired teleporter. His hooded eyes and easy smile let me know that one, he was drunk, and two, he found me sexy.
Why not enjoy myself a little? It had been ages since I’d lost control, and I wanted to be the normal type of reckless right now.
I followed the sway of the teleporter’s body, and we began to dance together in time with the song. His hands glided over my torso, feeling my taut stomach then moving up. But before he had a chance to reach my breasts, he was jostled out of my grasp. In his place stood Caden.
“Did you shove him?” I asked, referring to my previous dance partner who now watched us from a few feet away, confused about what had happened and how to handle the situation.
He gave my previous partner a dark look before turning back to me. “He needed a little persuading.”
I wrapped my arms around Caden’s neck and pulled myself in really close. “I’m glad you did. He wasn’t really a gentleman.”
Caden’s hands ran over my waist before wrapping around me, pulling me in close. “And what makes you think I am?” he whispered in my ear.
I pulled my head away to get a good look at him. His expression was serious. That’s when I noticed it. His eyes—they were hooded, just like the guy I had been dancing with. And his pupils were dilated. This expression was the same one I’d studied in Debbie’s class—unfulfilled desire.
My heart pounded in my chest. Whatever was going on between us, it was the real thing. Maybe tonight we’d …
“Shit.” I began to turn away. I didn’t want to do anything intoxicated. Not with Caden.
“Oh no you don’t.” Caden held onto my arms. “I finally got you out here. I’m not going to let you escape that quickly.”
I rolled my head back and looked at the lights above us. That sounded like one giant metaphor for our situation.
“Look at me. Please.” It was the “please” that did me in.
I slowly tilted my head back down and met his heated gaze. My body reacted to the look in his eyes—my stomach felt pleasantly woozy. In fact, I felt euphoric.
“Ember, I more than just like you,” his gaze was so intense that goose bumps broke out along my skin, “and there’s something I’ve been meaning to officially ask you.”
My eyes moved down to his lips. Those sensual lips were forming words I wanted to hear, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was bad. Falling for him was bad.
Caden took my hands. “Will you—?”
Repercussions be damned. “Yes,” I breathed, cutting him off. I leaned in and kissed him. He stopped talking and kissed me back, holding me like he might never let go.
We were so screwed.
Chapter 22
The kiss quickly escalated into a full on make out session. Classy, I know. I try.
“Can we get out of here?” My voice sounded breathless. I hadn’t come up for air in a while.
“No problem.” Caden took my hand and weaved us through the crowded gym. I didn’t bother focusing on where we were going, but Caden looked damn fine leading us there.
Five minutes later—or at least what felt like five minutes later—we staggered down the hall that connected the gym to the dormitory.
I wrapped an arm around his waist as we passed a staff member walking down the corridor.
The guy gave us a once-over and shook his head, looking repulsed.
“Did you see that?” I unintentionally stage whispered to Caden as the staff member’s footfalls grew quieter and quieter.
“Yeah I saw,” he said, nuzzling my neck.
“How rude.”
“Do you want me to stop?” Caden asked.
“Oh—no, I meant the guy, not you.” Now all of my not-so-sharp focus honed in on the light kisses Caden planted from my collarbone to my neck. The skin was sensitive, and I shivered.
“Back in the gym—you were asking me to be your girlfriend and not your wife, right?” I asked. “’Cause I like you and all, but I’m not ready to put a ring on this finger,” I said, holding up my left hand and wiggling the finger next to my pinkie.
His husky laugh ticked the sensitive skin of my neck. “One step at a time, princess. I’m not ready to make you my queen yet either.”
He resumed placing light kisses along my neck. I wrapped an arm behind his head, and I leaned in, taking his attention away from my neck and shoulder long enough to get a sensual kiss. His lips were hot on mine, and I parted them with my own to deepen the kiss.
Caden pulled away, his dimples came out, and he gave me a blinding smile.
I stumbled under the full force of it. It temporarily sobered me up enough to realize that I wasn’t coherent enough to be toying with emotions.
His smile vanished, replaced with concern. “Ember, are you feeling okay?”
Now that he mentioned it, I wasn’t feeling too good. Actually, I was feeling pretty effing awful.
Oh God. I glanced around until I saw a green exit sign. I stumbled over to it and pushed through the doors, the crisp night air cold against my skin. Once outside I turned to some nearby bushes and re-experienced my spiked energy drinks. The alcohol had turned on me!
As I straightened back up, I realized Caden was holding my hair. Ew, how much of that had he witnessed?
“C’mon, let’s get you inside,” he said, rubbing my back.
“Can I get a piggyback ride?” I asked pathetically.
“Sure.”
And he said he wasn’t a gentleman.
Caden carried me all the way to my room, only briefly disappearing while I brushed my teeth repeatedly. I wasn’t necessarily being a germaphobe—I think I nodded off a few times.
I changed into my pajamas and left the bathroom just as Caden walked through the door, holding bottled water, aspirin, and a banana. I crawled into bed, already beginning to hurt.
Caden set his items on my side table. “Tomorrow this will be more than worth its weight in gold.” He smiled gently and tucked me in. The gesture was so touching and so alien coming from Caden that I caught his hand as he turned to go.
“Stay with me.”
“What?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“Please.”
I would like to say that it was the “please” that also did him in, but let’s be real, Caden was an opportunist through and through.
His warm body spooned against mine, and I nestled in. With Caden holding me, my problems were distant and insignificants things.
I fell asleep, and for the next ten minutes Caden and I didn’t need to teleport. We were exactly where we wanted to be.
A blazing sun woke me. I peeled my eyes open slowly. They felt glued together. A split second later my head began pounding.
“Ugh,” I moaned.
I felt like road kill, only I had the joy of being alive. I wasn’t really appreciating that fact at the moment. My mouth was dry, and my stomach churned. I shifted myself in bed, trying to get comfortable to pretend the pain away, when I brushed skin.
“Mmmm.”
I froze.
The arm thrown possessively around my midriff tightened, pulling me in
close and causing the churning in my stomach to increase.
Caden.
What had happened? I rubbed my temples. Memories came back in short clips. The dance. Caden and me kissing and coming back here and falling asleep together. He had asked me to be his girlfriend, and I’d said yes.
I rubbed my forehead. Just as he had told me last night, I more than liked him, and that was problematic. Between the deadly missions we went on and my own recent plans to gather information on the Prometheus Project, I was closer to death than I’d ever been before. Having a boyfriend under those conditions would seriously complicate things.
I remembered the girl I was last night. A girl without worries. Perhaps I could find a nice middle ground between her and myself. Maybe now more than ever I should indulge my feelings. I might not have much longer to do so.
I snatched the goodies Caden had left me, along with a pair of clothes, and made a beeline for my bathroom.
My legs felt shaky and my mouth held the stale taste of alcohol as I stood under the spray of water. I leaned against the shower wall and repeatedly gurgled water. When that didn’t remove the nauseating aftertaste of cheap vodka, I grabbed my banana and ate it in the shower. Maybe this would give my stomach and gag reflex some temporary relief.
The whole ordeal felt like a balancing act. Eat some banana to help counter my pulverized stomach—don’t eat too much banana, or else the nausea will rise. Stand—but if you feel sick, sit down.
Eventually, I stopped getting back up. I leaned against the shower wall, my forearms resting on my knees. I closed my eyes and hummed my mother’s lullaby. The song calmed me, but my heart constricted at the thought of her and my father.
Were they worried about me? What was the government telling them? Would I ever see them again?
I’m not sure how long I sat there, but at some point I pulled myself together. Vowing to never again drink alcohol, I stood up and turned off the facet. I toweled off and changed.
The Vanishing Girl Page 15
