by Zoey Derrick
“So let’s try again,” Seraphina says. “Only this time, once you find the rose within yourself, imagine it opening.” She holds up another rosebud.
Vivienne braces herself by widening her stance so she feels both more relaxed and more stable. She brings her hands up and cups them, and Seraphina places the rose against her palms once again.
Vivienne closes her eyes, concentrating on the bud in her hands. She finds the rose – she can see it, touch it, smell it within herself. She watches as each of the rose’s petals slowly begin to fall open.
In front of her, another loud clap, but this time she is expecting it and she doesn’t flinch. She can feel Zirah and Seraphina surrounding her, watching her.
As the final petals unfold, exposing the center, Vivienne is awed by its simple beauty. She opens her eyes to see the rose, open and beautiful, no longer resting against her palms; it’s suspended above her hands.
She looks up to see her teachers’ reactions, and that’s when she sees her.In the distance, across the garden on the other side of the fountain, Rebecca stands in an archway in the hedge. Vivienne’s concentration breaks. The rose flashes and turns to ash in her palm.
“What happened that time?”
Vivienne isn’t sure which of her teachers asks the question because she is staring too intently at her mother. “I thought she wasn’t allowed in Elysium without an invitation,” she whispers to the angels standing near her.
“Who?” Zirah responds and follows Vivienne’s gaze. “She’s not—” Zirah is cut short by the arrival of Elizabeth.
“She’s not. I brought her here to further discuss what happened. I’m sorry, Vivienne, she wasn’t supposed to be here in the garden.”
Vivienne peels her eyes away from Rebecca to look at Elizabeth. “Have you learned anything further?”
“No, not really, other than she seems pretty certain that Riley wasn’t alone. But we already knew that.”
Vivienne nods. Two cloaked figures appear behind Rebecca, commanding her attention, and she goes with them willingly.
TWENTY-SIX
For the next two weeks, Mikah and Vivienne train during the day, Vivienne in Elysium with Zirah and Seraphina and sometimes Celeste, and Mikah with Andrew, Connor and Red in the condo downstairs, which now looks more like a karate studio than an apartment. The tension builds as each day passes and they continue wait for Riley or one of the devil’s other minions to make a move.
Vivienne’s bump is no longer just a bump. Now, at twenty-one weeks, she’s grown quite the belly, and Mikah spends every moment he can talking to or playing music for the baby. Her kicks get stronger everyday.
In order to ensure that Vivienne and the baby will have everything they need in the event that something happens to Mikah, he talks to Red and Andrew about his wishes. This is not an easy conversation for any of them.
Every morning they take their walk along the river, each day a little longer than the day before. About three or four days into the routine, they add an evening walk.
Every night, and sometimes between training sessions, Mikah and Vivienne make love. Each time it’s a little more intense and emotional for both of them. Mikah knows he loves her and is confident that she loves him in return, but he senses her hesitation to say it out loud. He also knows it has nothing to do with him.
Then, finally, she tells him her story about her mother and about Riley. Her confiding in him is the turning point; he knows she’s learning to trust him.
One night, with an hour or so to spare before their evening walk, Mikah leaves Vivienne to eat and heads into his office. Only his office is not where he is going. Once he’s shut the door behind him, he transports himself to Elysium, something he’s been taught how to do over the last two weeks.
He walks through the great room and passes into the sanctuary, where he finds his mother standing at the altar.
“Hello, my son.”
“I need to see her.”
“Who?” His mother turns to him.
“Rebecca.”
“For what purpose?” Her tone is forbidding, but Mikah will not back down.
“I need to talk to her.” Mikah had decided a couple of days ago that he needs his own answers so that maybe he can figure out what he can do to help Vivienne.
“Is that really your place, my son?”
“No, I’m sure it’s not, but I need to anyway.”
“Are you going to marry Vivienne?”
“What? What does this have to do with my request?”
“Everything, my son. Do you plan to marry her?”
“She has to learn to trust and love me before I can propose marriage to her. I’m sure you can understand that.”
“I do. But when she finds that she already loves you and trusts you, will you marry her?”
“Yes.” Mikah watches a smile spread across his mother’s face.
“Good.” She gestures toward the door to her right. “Rebecca is outside.”
Mikah steps through the door and into the garden. Despite all the white inside of the sanctuary, the garden is green and full of color and life.
Rebecca sits on a bench opposite him, looking right at Mikah as he walks toward her. Her features as he approaches are devoid of emotion.
“Mind if I sit?” he asks her, not really intending to give her a choice.
“No,” she says, and she goes back to looking around the garden.
“Why?” It’s all he can ask.
“Why what?” Rebecca looks at him, trying to read him.
“Why did you do to Vivienne the things you did?”
Rebecca stands and starts to walk away. Mikah follows, catching her quickly by the arm and turning her around. “She deserves an explanation, Rebecca. You owe her that much.”
“It’s none of your business.” She tries to turn and he stops her again.
“You’re wrong about that,” he says, emotion raw in his throat. “You see, I care about her. Deeply. But your inability to show her love and affection has her terrified to admit to herself that it’s okay to fall in love. She deserves better than that.”
“You want to know why? Fine, Mikah, I will tell you why. I loved Red with all of my heart. When I found out I was pregnant with Vivienne, I couldn’t wait to tell him. I was dying to tell him. I knew that he would be happy and that we would all be happy together. But I never got that chance. He never came back.”
Mikah’s grip loosens on her arm. She pulls free but doesn’t run away.
“When I finally realized he was never coming back, I was too far along to do anything about it. Being a single mother was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I found it much easier to handle her and life with the bottle. I blamed her for Red leaving, I blamed her for my being a single mom, I blamed her for everything.”
Mikah’s knees weaken and he sits alongside the fountain in the center of the garden.
“I had to live with that choice every day of my existence. I had to live with it inside of my own head at the rehab center, and I had to live with it every time she looked into my eyes. I gave up on her, but she never once gave up on me. Now I have to live with my choices for eternity and beyond. There is nothing I can do to make things right with her.” Rebecca takes the bench opposite Mikah.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
Rebecca looks up into his eyes.
“You said it yourself, she never gave up on you. Maybe that is still true today. Elysium is not about repenting for your sins, it is about forgiveness and life. Start a new chapter with her.”
“I can’t,” Rebecca says, standing again and turning to walk away.
This time Mikah lets her go.
“She is hopeless, Mikah. She will never change.”
Mikah stands and spins around. Vivienne is standing opposite the fountain from him. “Vivienne, I—”
“Shh. She’s right. I never did give up on her, but my reasons for hanging onto her were selfish. I wanted her to apologize to me, tell m
e that she didn’t mean it, tell me that it wasn’t my fault. I know now that it wasn’t my fault and maybe it is no one’s fault, but—” Vivienne walks around the fountain toward Mikah. “—but I know that the choices she made were hers and hers alone. I cannot change the past, and I am who I am today because of her. I don’t need her apologies to move on with my life.” She reaches her hand out for him to take. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For getting her to say it out loud. Everything she said, I’ve suspected but never had the courage or the opportunity to get her to say. But now, I know.”
“How did you know I was here?” he asks as they head toward the door that leads back to the condo.
She smiles at him. “I’m more attuned to you than to anyone else. I knew the minute you left the condo. I just gave you some lead time.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
“You’re one lucky son of bitch, you know that, Riley? You’re lucky he hasn’t sent you to be tortured.”
The man in front of Derek groans. Tied up, gagged and bloody.
“Well, any more so than you already have been.” His sinister laughter fills the room. “He obviously has something else planned for you.”
“Leave us!” A grave and growly voice.
Derek turns toward the voice. Standing behind him is none other than the devil himself, a menacing look in his bright red eyes. Derek leaves the room quickly.
The air in the room warms to feverish temperatures as the devil draws closer to Riley, who is bound to the wall. With a small gesture, the devil cauterizes Riley’s wounds one by one, and little by little the bleeding stops. But Riley’s grunting, screwed-up face indicates that the pain is excruciating.
“The task I gave you remains unfinished. We know how and where to find her.”
Hearing those words gives Riley newfound strength, and he begins to thrash against his bindings.
“Stop that. Why should I let you finish your task? You’ve done nothing but defy me from the moment you showed up here. Your latest stunt, killing your own father, gives me renewed confidence in your potential, but I don’t trust you. If you defy me once more, I will happily watch your balls be ripped off again and again, day in and day out.”
Riley squirms.
“Not your idea of a good time, is it?”
Riley shakes his head.
The devil continues closing up Riley wounds. As each wound closes, Riley feels as though a new one is forming.
“She is vulnerable. You will capture her and bring her back to me. If you kill her...” There is a sudden pulling and ripping sensation in Riley’s groin and he screams, the sound muffled by the gag in his mouth. “If you harm her in any way...” Again the pain returns and Riley screams, sweat pouring down his face and body. “If you fail in your task...” Riley screams again, this time louder.
The pain is so intense he thinks he is going to black out, but before he does the pain stops.
Riley briefly wonders why his orders have changed and the devil has to have Vivienne alive now, but the fact that his balls are still throbbing with each pump of blood that passes through them reminds him not to question it.
“You will find her walking along the river, near the bridge. Sometimes she is alone and sometimes she walks with another female. You can destroy the other female, but bring Vivienne back to me alive. I will deal with her once she is here. Do you understand me?”
Riley’s body is still ringing with pain and he doesn’t respond.
“I can’t think of any good reason not to destroy you right this second. I do not ask questions twice.”
The stabbing pain returns once again. Riley screams out a garbled “Yes!” and nods his head. Immediately the pressure stops. His bonds loosen and he drops to the floor.
“Get yourself together. You’re leaving soon.”
Suddenly Riley is the only one in the room. He gropes with his hands, making sure that his balls are still intact, and then he removes his blindfold and gag. “One day,” he mutters, “you’re going to be sorry you did that.”
If the devil hears him, he doesn’t bother to respond.
TWENTY-EIGHT
Christmas approaches, and to take their minds off Rebecca and Riley and focus on more pleasant thoughts, Mikah tries more than a few times to get Vivienne to go shopping for the baby with him. But she refuses, so in the end he goes on his own.
And boy does Mikah go shopping. He enlists Celeste’s help to keep it all a surprise for Vivienne, but it’s all he can do to keep the secret himself. He’s giddy as a schoolboy.
When Christmas morning arrives, Mikah is up before Vivienne. He brings her breakfast in bed, buying a little more time for everyone so they can get things set up the way he wants them.
Finally, Vivienne finishes eating. The moment has arrived.
“I have something I want to show you,” Mikah says as Vivienne crumples her napkin and puts it on the breakfast tray.
She cocks her head at him. “Mikah, we talked about this. No Christmas presents.”
He doesn’t say anything, just smirks and climbs off of the bed, grabbing the tray before he walks toward the door. “Come on,” he says with a smile and a wink.
Vivienne can’t help but roll her eyes and smile at him. He’s like a kid at a candy store, waiting impatiently for someone to open the door for him. She climbs out of bed to follow him into the dining room.
He opens the door just as she comes up behind him, and what she sees takes her breath away.
Covering every inch of the dining room table is a mountain of things, and it is obvious to her, even from the doorway, that everything on the table is a baby-related item.
She looks from the table to him and back again quickly.
“We agreed nothing for us, but I never said I wouldn’t get her anything,” Mikah says.
Tears fill her eyes as she takes in the scene before her. There are clothes, bottles, toys, and what looks like bedding. And beyond the table are three large boxes standing in front of a very modest Christmas tree.
As she steps into the dining room to investigate the boxes, Mikah watches her intently, afraid she might get angry with him. He notices how her eyes glass over while she takes it all in. He follows her slowly, placing the tray on the kitchen island as she goes around the dining room table.
The labels on the three boxes reveal them to be a crib, a matching dresser, and what looks like a rocking chair. Vivienne wipes the tears from her eyes.
“There’s more.”
“More?” she says, turning around to face him, shock on her features. “What more could there be?” she says.
He lets out a chuckle and smiles wide. “Well...” He walks around to her and holds out his hand. “I’ll show you.”
Vivienne looks at him skeptically, not sure what he’s getting at, but she takes his hand and goes with him willingly.
He leads her to the door of the second bedroom and opens it.
“Mikah, it’s empty,” she says, puzzled. She remembers that there was furniture in this room the last time she saw it, and now there is nothing but bare white walls and tan carpet.
“Exactly. I’d like to turn this into her room. Vivienne, I’d really like it if both you and your daughter would stay here with me.” His breath hitches. The way that they’ve been going these last two weeks, one could assume that her staying here was implied, but Mikah is afraid that once the Riley situation has been handled, she will want to move back downstairs. He doesn’t want her to do that. He wants her to stay here.
“Mikah, I...” She turns to look at him. She can see the worry in his eyes. “I’d love to stay here.”
He watches as her face lights up. He wants to say it, he wants to tell her, but—
“Thank you,” she says into his chest as her arms come tight around him.
He can’t help but hold her to him. He plays with her hair, kissing the top of her head. Seeing it all in her eyes, he knows she doesn’t need to say it out loud. She only needs
to see it, feel it, and understand it for herself.
“Of course. Anything, anytime,” he whispers.
TWENTY-NINE
The weather has grown cold and the wind has picked up. Vivienne is huddled inside of Mikah’s Boston College sweatshirt and her jacket as she and Celeste walk down toward the river. The closer she gets to the river, the larger the pit in her stomach feels. Everyone seems a little more on edge tonight; their normal walking conversation is absent.
When her feet hit the path, the now-familiar shimmer spreads across her skin and she knows she’s exposed. She feels her guardians around her: Mikah and Red behind her, Connor and Andrew in front. Celeste walks beside her, also exposed. With the shields down, she can sense an unfriendly presence nearby, but she doesn’t think it’s Riley.
After a hundred yards or so, Andrew says in her ear, “Let’s pause up here near the dock, but stay on the path.”
“Alright,” Vivienne answers.
The closer they draw to the dock the more anxious Vivienne grows, her heart beating faster though she doesn’t sense danger. Regardless, she’s not letting her guard down.
They pause at the dock.
“Are you feeling okay?” Celeste asks.
Vivienne can feel a little of Mikah’s anxiety, too, though it’s muted because he is protected.
“Yeah, I feel fine, it’s just...”
“Just what?” Celeste asks.
“Something doesn’t feel right.”
“We’re all feeling it tonight, Vivienne,” Andrew says in her ear. “Let’s keep moving.”
“Alright.”
The air grows colder the longer they walk. Tonight they make it to the bridge – two hundred yards beyond their normal stopping point - before they turn around and start to head back. Vivienne can’t quite figure out why Andrew wanted to go on further, but she doesn’t question his intentions.
Vivienne slows down.
“What’s wrong?” Mikah says in her ear, and she can feel him moving toward her.
“Stop, keep your position. I just want to drag this out a little longer. Slow down a little,” Vivienne says back to him. “Something tells me that this is the night. I want to give him his chance to show up.”
