by Zoey Derrick
She flickers again.
“I’d be honored to have my name on her birth certificate.”
He sits up and turns so that they’re face to face, then leans in to bring his lips to hers.
She kisses him back, but the kiss doesn’t last as long as either one of them hoped.
Tears streak down her cheeks as she climbs out of bed and shuffles toward the bathroom. Being eight months pregnant keeps her dreams a lot shorter than they used to be. But it is the same every time: Vivienne wakes up crying, bereft, and the ache of loneliness courses through her veins.
Mikah is gone, stuck in Elysium. She’d fought hard to save him that night, but the damage had been too much for her to handle. Despite Elizabeth’s reassurance that there is a chance that Mikah can return home, the longer he stays away and Elizabeth refuses to let Vivienne see him during her waking visits to Elysium, the more hopeless Vivienne starts to feel. Her dreams are the only place she can see Mikah, and when she wakes, she misses him that much more.
She believes in her heart that this is not the way it was supposed to end.
THIRTY-FIVE
“How are you holding up?” Celeste asks as they walk by the river.
Vivienne sighs. “I’m alright, just very ready for her to come out. Beyond ready.” She rubs her hand along her extended belly.
Celeste and Vivienne have continued to take their daily walks since that day in December. It’s become a ritual of theirs, and they have become very close since that night, what seems like eons ago.
They approach the spot on the blackened pavement where Riley was vanquished back to the devil. Vivienne doesn’t look at it very much anymore. However, the mark next to it is another story. That’s a mark she touches every day.
Though now it is nearly impossible for her to touch it with her fingers anymore. Bending down has become a thing of the past. She’s lucky if her socks actually make it on her feet. She’s thankful that the cold Minnesota winter is coming to an end.
“What would you like to do today?” Celeste asks Vivienne.
“Sleep.” She laughs. It’s a sound that has become more common in the last few weeks, but the ache in her heart is still there.
They continue until they reach the bridge and then turn back, smiling as the runners fly past them without a clue that they’re there. Ever since that night, whenever Vivienne wants to take a walk along the river, she goes under complete protection, invisible to everyone outside of the shield.
“Have you decided on her name? Last we talked about it you were tossing around Madison and...what was that other name?”
“MaryAnne.”
“That’s right. See, all the more reason to name her Madison, I can’t remember the other name.”
The vision of Mikah stretched out on the couch as they discussed her name last night helps bring a smile to her face. “Madison it is.” Although she told Celeste some time ago that she was seeing Mikah in her dreams, she doesn’t keep her updated on what they talk about.
“How’s your relationship with Red?”
“Strained. We’re both trying very hard. I think when he looks at me he sees a lot of wasted years, and he’s not sure how to get them back. Couple that with— He has a hard time with it.
“Kelly is great, though. She is so excited about the baby. And Andrew and Connor have finished the baby’s room.”
“I know what we can do today.” Celeste says, a little too excited.
“No. We’re not going shopping. I’m so tired of shopping, and you know damn well I don’t spend any money. You always just go back and buy anything that I had my eye on.” She laughs. “Besides, Aubrey is coming at one.”
“Oh, you can skip yoga for one day.”
“Nuh uh, nope, won’t do it. Not to go shopping with you.” She laughs again as they turn onto the walkway that leads home.
THIRTY-SIX
“Red asked me to stop by his condo when we came back,” Celeste says as she pushes the elevator call button. “Are you okay to go up on your own?”
“Absolutely. I’m going to lie down for a while.” She absently rubs her belly as the elevator door chimes.
“Alright, I’ll come wake you when Aubrey arrives.”
Vivienne nods, and the elevator door closes. She inserts her keycard into the slot and presses the button for the seventh floor.
Standing alone in the elevator makes it seem like it takes forever. Finally it reaches the seventh floor, and the elevator bell dings and the doors slide open.
Lit candles line the foyer walls.
“What?” She remembers when Mikah laid out candles the day he returned from Phoenix, and her heart rate spikes to a fever pitch.
She races to the door and pushes it open. More candles line the hallway, and the floor is strewn with rose petals leading into the dining room, where she can see that every surface is covered in candles.
She walks as fast as she can manage without slipping on the rose-covered floor. The hallway seems like it’s ten miles long.
Finally she comes around the corner to the kitchen. Her eyes follow the line of candles to the opposite side of the kitchen.
“Mikah,” she breathes.
But he isn’t there. Her knees grow weak.
Her head falls into her hands and she can’t stop the tears from pouring down her cheeks. She’s so confused. She doesn’t understand why anyone except for Mikah would do this.
But he isn’t here. She can no longer hold herself up as the pain of realization washes through her body.
He wraps his arms around her and catches her before she hits the floor. The scent of everything Mikah fills her nose.
She pushes at him, pushing him away. “I’m tired of dreaming. It hurts too much.”
“You’re not dreaming. I’m here, Vivienne, I’ve come home.”
Her head lifts out of her hands, and she looks up into his beautiful, vibrant blue eyes. She touches his arm, his neck, his face, his chest.
“It can’t be real. I fell asleep, I’m dreaming. I—” She slumps down again and he catches her once more.
“I told you, I will always catch you. I will always be here for you.”
All the strength goes out of her and she crumples into his arms, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Mikah has never seen anything more beautiful than Vivienne with her red hair and bright blue eyes. She truly is an angel, and he’s been waiting for this sweet reunion for far too long.
“I’m here and I’m here to stay.”
“But...but...”
“Shhh, sweetheart.” He touches a stand of her hair. “You saved my life. Our life. I couldn’t have born to watch you leave Elysium. To see the pain in your eyes every time you knew you had to leave.”
“But you left me here. Alone. Losing hope. Losing faith that they’d let you return to me,” she sobs into his chest. “To wake up every morning crying because what we had was gone and I had to face another day alone, without you.”
“I can’t even begin to put into words how sorry I am that you had to suffer like that.”
He takes a deep breath, pulling back, hoping to look into her eyes. She tries to look up at him, but it’s too painful. It’s too hard to look at him.
“It was selfish. I was selfish. I thought that being in your dreams would be better than you having to walk out of Elysium without me. I’m sorry. I was wrong.” He kisses her forehead. “I love you.”
She pulls back to look him in the eyes. “I love you,” she breathes.
He brings his lips to hers: strong, needy and passionate.
She has missed the taste of him, and part of her is still afraid she’s dreaming, that she’ll wake up and he’ll be gone. Tears continue to slide down her cheeks.
As if he’s read her mind, he says, “I’m not going to leave, I’m never going to leave you. Let me prove it to you?”
She nods, weak and helpless in his arms. He reaches under her legs and stands up, bringing her with him.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she says. “I could never wait to get to sleep so that I could see you.”
He smiles and kisses her forehead. “I know, but now you’ll never want to sleep.”
He carries her into the bedroom.
“Let me love you,” he says as lays her out on the bed.
The look in his eyes gives her hope that he speaks the truth, that he isn’t going to leave her again. She begins to let herself believe.
“Are you comfortable?”
She laughs through her tears. “No. She’s practically sitting on my lungs.”
He smiles wide and tears form in his eyes.
She slides her feet off of the bed and sits up. She reaches for his hand and tugs him down onto his knees in front of her. “Please, Mikah, don’t cry.”
He smirks at her. “Me, what about you?”
“You know this is real. I’m only starting to believe it.”
He leans forward, sliding his hands under Vivienne’s sweatshirt and placing them gently on her belly. His thumb grazes her belly button and she squirms. ”That’s like a hot button straight to my bladder. Be careful with that,” she laughs.
Her laughter is carefree and he loves the sound of it. He rubs his hands along the curve of her stomach, and underneath the surface he feels Madison move. His eyes dart to Vivienne’s and she nods.
“That’s her. That’s Madison.”
He leans forward and presses his ear to her belly, not really to listen, just to be closer. To Vivienne and to Madison.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been here. I’m sorry I had to stay in Elysium and that I couldn’t tell you when I was going to be able to come home. I couldn’t bear it, to see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. To know that I was hurting you nearly killed me everyday. I knew I had to heal fully before I could be what you needed.” He lifts his head, and their eyes meet. “I love you so much it hurts.”
She takes his head in her hands. “As I love you.”
She urges him up, bringing her lips to his.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Mikah’s hands roam around her body as his lips meet hers. In an instant their breathing becomes heavy and sweat begins to bead across her skin.
Mikah senses her slight discomfort and reaches for the hem of his Boston College sweatshirt. He couldn’t help but notice it the minute she rounded the corner. She’d been wearing it that night, and when he caught her earlier tonight he felt the new stitching on the back where her wings had burst free.
He begins to lift it up over her belly, and she raises her arms. He pulls back from their kiss to pull the shirt off and takes a peek at the white tank top she’s wearing. It is stretched thin over her breasts and belly. He smiles. She looks amazing.
“Can I?” he says as he reaches for the hem of her tank top, and she nods.
She is wrapped up in the fact that he’s here, really here, and despite her fear, she knows he is here to stay.
He pulls up her tank top and her nipples harden. He reaches around to undo her bra at the same time she goes for the hem of his shirt. He unclasps each hook as she pulls his t-shirt up higher.
She waits patiently for him to finish before tugging, wordlessly hinting to him to lift his arms. He does. She removes his shirt and he immediately starts to kiss down her shoulder, slowly pulling her bra strap down.
He switches to the other side and her head falls back. His touch is so soft and warm. He urges her arms up and pulls her bra away from her body.
Her nipples are hard, dark brown peaks. “Do they hurt?” he asks, his hot breath caressing her skin.
“They’re tender, but no, they don’t hurt.”
He smiles and licks the tight bud.
Her head falls back again and she moans.
His erection strains against the zipper of his jeans, but she is more important in this moment. He sucks her nipple into his mouth and is rewarded with another delicious moan. He continues to kiss, lick and suck his way over to the other nipple, which is equally as big and hard as the first. He can’t help his tongue from licking softly against her skin.
Her hand is in his hair, holding him to her, encouraging him to continue what he’s doing. She squirms under him and he reaches for the waistband of her pants.
His silent command for her to lift her hips has her eager for so much more from him.
He slides her pants past her hips, down her legs, and leans back to allow room to free her.
“Stand up,” she whispers and he looks at her. “I haven’t been able to look at you for two months. I need to see you.”
The plea in her eyes has him rising to his feet.
She reaches for his belt buckle, undoes it quickly, then reaches for the button and zipper. Once they’re open, she places her thumbs in the waistband and slides his jeans down his legs to his knees.
When he realizes that she can’t bend over much further, he smiles and helps her by pushing them the rest of the way.
“Slide back,” he says, looking at her with a mountain of promise, and she slides back onto the bed. Pulling her legs up, she lies on her back.
“Here,” he says and climbs onto the bed, grabbing a couple of pillows. “Give me your hand.” He helps her sit up then lays the pillows down behind her and she lies back down on them. “Better?”
She smiles, overcome again by the care he is taking to make sure she’s comfortable. “Much.”
He crawls between her legs.
She needs him so bad, but he lies down and flicks his tongue across her clit. She moans, squirming under his touch, but he doesn’t stop.
She can’t see his head, which is disappointing, but she can touch it. She runs her fingers through his hair as he continues to lick and suck her clit, and then writhes beneath him as he slides one finger inside. She begins to grind against his tongue and finger. The feeling pooling deep in her core is a reminder of everything she’s missed these last couple of months.
Fireworks start to explode behind her eyes and her heart is pounding as she grinds harder, pushing his head downward and tighter against her sex.
He loves every minute of it as he feels her unraveling around him. Her legs begin to shake and then stiffen, and she moans, harder and louder than she ever has before. With her orgasm comes tears – tears of joy, tears of love.
He kisses his way up her belly, careful to avoid her belly button, to her nipples, and then to her neck, jaw and lips. He arcs his body over hers so that he’s not pressing on her at all.
When their mouths meet, she tastes her own arousal on his lips and tongue, and she does what she can to kiss it off of him.
After a few more flicks of his tongue against hers he pulls back to sit on his heels. He urges her to lift her leg and she does, though unsure of what he’s doing. He brings it around him so that she rolls onto her side. The pressure on her lungs and back eases immediately.
“Better?”
“Much.”
He lies down behind her, kisses her shoulder and reaches down to lift her leg.
“What are you...? Oh.”
She can feel his erection lying against her thigh. She reaches down to hold her leg up for him, and he positions the head of his cock against the entrance of her sex. She scoots her butt back toward him, eager to feel him inside her once again.
He senses her desire and gently slides himself inside. His need to be in her takes over and he slides in and right back out, again and again.
She can feel every throbbing inch of him enter and leave her. Her eyes roll back in her head and she relaxes.
Mikah keeps ahold of her hip as he slides himself in and out from behind.
The full feeling is so amazing that Vivienne starts to cry, and although he can’t see her face, he somehow knows and he can’t stop the tears that form in his own eyes.
Having Vivienne back in his arms means so much to him that he realize he loves her even more.
THIRTY-EIGHT
Mikah and Vivienne stay spooned on the be
d for some time after they’ve finished, he still resting inside her. They let their breathing return to normal and he wraps his arms tight around her, holding her close.
After a while she rolls onto her back, dislodging him from her sex, and he groans at the loss.
She smiles at him and moves the hair from his eyes so she can look into them. Her fingers trace the black lines on his right shoulder, down his arm and across his chest to where the scorch marks were originally.
“I’d often wondered where this came from. I wish I’d known beforehand,” he whispers.
“Me too. I’m so happy you’re home.”
“Me too. Have I missed anything?” He smiles at her. “Well, besides you?”
“No, I managed to keep you pretty well up to date. I do have an appointment with Dr. A tomorrow. It’s the third of our weekly check ups until she—“ She places her hand on her belly. “—decides it’s time to show up.”
Mikah’s hand covers hers. “I’d like to go with you.”
“Please? Those were always the hardest days. I knew that you wanted to be there.”
“I did, and in a way I was.” His hand moves up to rest against her chest, against her heart.
“Why did you have to stay in Elysium for so long?”
“I had to heal. It was unclear what would happen if I crossed back over if I wasn’t completely healed. I didn’t want to take the chance. Better to be locked in Elysium than never to come back at all. At least that was the way I saw it. But every day that I was away from you was harder than the day before. By the end, I was driving Seraphina crazy.”
“I haven’t heard anything from Zirah since before that night.”
“You won’t. You’ve learned all you need to know. And Zirah is not the best with secrets. Elizabeth was afraid she’d let it out that I’d be coming home. A part of me was scared, when I crossed the threshold, that I’d be kicked back into Elysium. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I couldn’t come back.”
Vivienne thinks about that. “If I’d known that you were going to come back and then suddenly you couldn’t, I think that would’ve been worse. I guess I had more hope than I thought that you’d return.”
