by Sarah Fine
Malachi didn’t flinch. “Did you think she was human? Because then—”
I shook my head. “I knew she was a Mazikin.”
His dark eyes bored into mine. “You could have told Henry to stand down.”
“There wasn’t time. Henry can verify that.”
Malachi rubbed the back of his neck. “Then you could have captured a different one. Unless perhaps you thought this Mazikin had special knowledge about Sil and his plans?”
“No. I had no reason to believe the female Mazikin had special knowledge of their strategy.” In fact, I’d had every reason to believe she had special knowledge about me, and still I’d risked my life to keep her alive.
Malachi’s fists clenched. “You took an arrow to the chest for this creature, Lela! And I don’t—” He stopped short, some realization dawning, and swept the other Guards with an authoritative glance. “I will talk to the Captain alone.”
Jim shrugged. “Fine with me. I’ve got homework.” He turned and walked up the stairs.
Henry stood up slowly, looking me over. I could tell that whatever fragile trust he’d had in me was shattered the moment I’d forced him to shoot me, and it would take a while to rebuild, if that was even possible. But it was clear by the way he looked at Malachi that he trusted him. After a few seconds, he turned on his heel and headed for the basement.
“Why didn’t you just tell us you knew her?” Malachi asked quietly as soon as the basement door clicked shut. He closed the distance between us slowly. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
Of course he’d figured it out. I shouldn’t have expected anything different. “I didn’t want to talk about it. I still don’t want to talk about it.” I crumpled onto the couch and bowed my head, letting my hair fall around my face as my misery finally bubbled up to drown me. “In fact, I almost wish that bolt had hit me a few inches to the right. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with me, and I wouldn’t have to deal with this.”
Malachi sank to his knees in front of me like someone had punched the air out of his lungs. “Don’t say that, Lela,” he whispered. His hands moved forward, reaching for me.
I jerked backward and slid sideways along the couch, away from him. I couldn’t take him halfway. I had to have it all—or nothing. “Don’t touch me. You’re the one who wanted distance.”
My boots hit the floor, and I was up. Rage singed me on the inside, turning all my edges black and brittle. With my fists balled up tight against my sides, I whipped around, ready to loose some of my fury on him—because the alternative was to collapse on the floor and cry, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop once it started.
Malachi was still on his knees in front of the couch, his head bowed, like he was comforting the ghost of me.
I spoke to his back, hurling words like knives. “I’ll tell you the deal, and then you can decide if you’d like to request my removal as your Captain. Are you ready for this? Because the irony here is beautiful. That Mazikin was my mother.”
Malachi raised his head.
“Yeah. You see now. My mom must have been living on the streets. And they got her.” It was so much easier to do this when I couldn’t see his eyes, when I didn’t have to deal with what they might reflect. “Think how you would feel if you hadn’t seen your mother since you were a small child. If you were too young when she left you, too young to remember her face, too young to remember if she really cared for you. But when she shows up, when she looks at you with your own eyes, it all comes back. The way she sang to you and loved you once, before she couldn’t do it anymore. All of those memories, buried deep in your head. For years. Waiting to ambush you.”
My fingers had crept into my hair and were tugging at it. My voice had thinned, small and high again, the voice of me from a long time ago. “I wish I could rip those images from my mind. I wish I could dig them out. For years, I assumed I didn’t have them. That would have been so much easier. But when she was right there in front of me, all of a sudden, so were all those memories. All at once. When Henry took aim at her, I didn’t think about it. I acted.”
Malachi stood up slowly, but did not turn around.
“Yes!” I shouted, anticipating what he might say before he had a chance to open his mouth. “I know what you believe! I know you think I missed my chance to liberate my mother’s soul, all because I protected her body! I get it now. I see how hard it is to kill a Mazikin when it’s wearing the skin of a person you care about. I get it. You must love that.”
“Of course I don’t,” he said, so softly I almost missed it.
I tore my fingers through my hair and headed for the door. “Now they’re using her to get to us. They’ve set up a meeting, using the pretense that my long-lost mother wants to see me again. You’re coming with me. To translate. See, I can’t even understand what she says.” Bitterness broke my voice, leaving it hoarse. “I assume you can, though. You couldn’t have spent all those years with Ana without learning some Spanish.”
“You’re right,” he said, finally turning to me, his eyes ebony pools of sorrow. I almost screamed at him to stop looking at me that way. It wasn’t fair, and I needed to get away before I made a fool of myself by collapsing into his arms and begging him to never let me go.
I groped for the doorknob, desperate for my escape. “I’ll let you know when it’s all set up. It should be great fun.” I welcomed the cool air on my burning skin as I swung the door open. “I’ll be back tonight. We have less than a week before the city’s emergency shelters close for the season. We need to locate the new Mazikin nest, and Sil in particular, before they start picking off those folks—as well as our friends—one by one. So study your maps, and tell the others to get ready. We’ll be patrolling heavily, but probably in shifts from now on. The objective is still to find a Mazikin and track it back to the nest or capture one and force it to tell us where they are. Does that sound like an acceptable plan to you?”
His eyes lingered on my face, and he opened his mouth to say something. But then he swallowed whatever it was and drew himself up straight. “Yes, Captain.”
NINETEEN
WE DIDN’T FIND THE nest by the end of the week, but not for lack of trying. I mapped out routes, including all four of the shelters, to be patrolled by two Guards each night. The third Guard on duty was assigned to monitor Facebook and connect with our friends in an effort to keep tabs and make sure they weren’t doing anything crazy. The fourth Guard on the rotating schedule was under strict orders to rest. I designed the schedule so that the guys would have every third night off, with the instruction that they use that time to get at least eight hours of sleep. I … did not give myself the same kind of break. I couldn’t.
I could barely sleep at all.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her beckoning to me. Ven conmigo, she whispered. Come.
I couldn’t figure out why she’d said it. Had that been the Mazikin speaking, trying to capture me, or had she said it because, deep inside her, my mother’s memories were so strong that the Mazikin felt something for me? I didn’t know what I wanted the answer to be, but the question dogged me.
The woman hospitalized after the Mazikin attack on the camp died a few days after the incident, never having regained consciousness. She was identified as Marie Clement, a thirty-nine-year-old unemployed waitress from West Warwick. Cause of death was still being determined, but I knew how it had happened. The Mazikin inside my mother had bitten her, and the venom had paralyzed and slowly killed her.
Her death fueled the enthusiasm of the media. The death of one homeless person might not get much attention, but at this point several had been found dead in local parks, and now five people had been slaughtered in a single night. Rumors about how they died were swirling. Homeless advocates were up in arms, demanding justice. It was becoming more difficult to stay under the radar for Guards and Mazikin alike.
I was a Guard and nothing else. I ate mechanically. Did minimal homework on autopilot, enough to keep out of trouble. Stared m
y way through classes while my brain whirled with patrol strategies and what-ifs. I trained with the other Guards for hours every day after school, turning off all my emotions and facing Malachi down on the mat with fists and knives. He kicked my ass repeatedly, and sometimes I think he enjoyed it a little. I know I did. I needed a place to vent my frustration, and that was it. I couldn’t blame him if he did the same thing.
On Friday, the day after Aden’s funeral, I arrived at school to find Malachi sitting on the half wall at the front entrance. As soon as I pulled into a spot, he was up and walking toward me. I groaned and leaned my head back against the seat. He knocked on the window.
“Good morning,” he said briskly when I opened the door. “I take it your patrol was quiet.”
I nodded, savoring the bitterness. “Jim and I caught a scent outside the Broad Street shelter, but we couldn’t trace it. I feel like we’re so close, but we’re missing something. Maybe tonight we’ll catch a break.”
“All our friends here are accounted for. Greg has decided he would like to be my new best friend and wants to ‘party.’ Other than that, no unusual activity last night.”
“Good. And tonight you’re off.”
“No, Captain.” He leaned down. “Lela, I think you’re punishing yourself with this schedule.”
“Punishing myself? Look who’s talking,” I snapped. “I hear you’re up at all hours, training when you should be resting.”
Malachi’s expression hardened. “What I do with my time off is none of your concern. I’m following your orders. I’m doing my job.”
Again, it would have been less painful if he’d punched me. “I never said you weren’t,” I muttered hoarsely.
He stepped around the door and squatted in front of me. “Take tonight off. Rest. I’ll take your place. We need our Captain to have a clear head. You’ve earned Jim’s trust, and you’re just starting to regain Henry’s after what happened on Monday—do not let them down.”
His eyes showed his concern … and nothing else. This was how he would have talked to Ana or Takeshi, his Captain from long ago. I should have been happy that his feelings for me weren’t interfering, but it hurt like hell.
“All right. I’ll take it under advisement. But the shelters close tonight—”
He shook his head. “We checked this morning. Because of the outcry over the attacks, the city announced that the shelters will remain open through the weekend while they try to solve the crime.”
I sighed. “Fine. I’ll take tonight off.”
“Excellent decision, Captain. I will see you in Pre-Calculus.” Malachi stood up, shouldered his backpack, and walked away, looking unfairly amazing in the morning sunlight. Laney came skipping up to him, wearing a skirt so short it had to be in violation of the dress code. Together, they walked into the school. I jammed my keys in the ignition, ready to attempt escape.
But Diane, Jen, Ketzler, and Nancy the evil probation officer had all been hovering the past few days. I had to show up for school. If I showed any signs of “emotional distress,” as Ketzler had called it, they might cancel my visit with my mom, which was scheduled for Monday. I ripped my keys out of the ignition and shoved them in my backpack.
By lunchtime, I had drawn up a new plan to make the most of the extra days we’d been given, listing new places to patrol, new neighborhoods to cover. I also wanted to cultivate a few contacts within the homeless community, just to see what we could find. Feeling a little more energized, I headed to lunch.
Tegan and Jim were already at the table. Over the past few days, he’d been glued to her side during school hours. I was still worried about him losing his focus, but he’d been totally sober and completely professional as a Guard every night, so whatever he had going on with her was either helping him … or motivating him. Plus, Tegan looked better than she had a few days ago, and I was relieved that she was turning to someone other than me for support.
“We’re changing the theme,” I heard her say to him. “It was Tangled in the Stars, but in honor of Aden and Nadia, it’s going to be Memories and Moments. Laney and I thought it was important to make them part of it.”
I was pretty sure Jim had no idea what she was talking about, but he nodded along while he stared at her mouth. I set my tray down and elbowed him hard in the side.
“I guess they didn’t have proms at Bishop MacDonald?” I commented.
Tegan laughed. “Poor boy. No girls! This must be a nice change of speed for you.”
Jim grinned. “You have no idea.”
Jillian set her tray down and smiled over her shoulder at Levi, who was laughing with Ian about something as they piled their trays with bread and pasta. “Oh! Is that the new poster? I’m surprised it came so fast.”
Tegan held the glossy paper up for her to see. “Yeah, they were really nice about letting us change the theme so late in the year. They’re going to rush the order as soon as we okay this sample.”
Ian dropped into the seat next to mine and glanced at the poster she was now waving in his direction. “Shiny.”
Tegan scowled. “You have zero appreciation for art, Ian Moseley.”
Malachi and Laney arrived as Levi squeezed himself next to Jillian and kissed her cheek. “It looks great,” he said, but he was looking at her, not the poster. “Greg reserved a stretch SUV yesterday. He knows a guy and got us a huge discount. Anyway, we’re all set.”
Laney smiled up at Malachi and scooted closer as he sat down. “Do you know what prom is?” she asked him.
“No,” he answered, looking over at the poster.
I turned toward Ian, in dire need of distraction. “You have a game this afternoon, right?”
He set his milk and orange juice at ten and two. “Yeah. First one without Aden.” His voice was sad. “We haven’t practiced all week, either, what with the wake and funeral.”
“You’re worried.”
He nodded. “Greg is good on the mound, but the Veterans team has a lot of good hitters this year.” He pushed his messy hair out of his eyes. “I don’t really even want to play,” he said quietly. “It won’t be the same without Aden in the dugout. But I want to win. For him.” He fiddled nervously with his milk carton. “Hey, can you come?”
My mouth dropped open to refuse, but then I remembered Malachi had insisted I take the night off. Maybe I’d take the afternoon off, too. “Yeah. I’ll try.”
His dimples were really kind of stunning. “Awesome. Maybe we can meet up after the game?”
I turned my head to see Malachi staring at me while Laney yapped on about tuxes and after-parties. She laid her hand on his arm, and that made my decision for me.
“I’m free,” I said to Ian, savagely hoping that my next words hit my Lieutenant like an elbow to the gut. “And I’d love to.”
After a terse meeting with Malachi and Henry in the parking lot after school to go over the new patrol routes, I headed for the baseball field. If not for Malachi’s insistence that I take a night off, I’d be on the streets tonight, hunting the Mazikin. It was where I was supposed to be. But then I reminded myself that the Mazikin knew exactly where to find me, and where to find my classmates, and that being here might be just as important.
I sat in the stands with Tegan, Jillian, and Laney, scanning for threats or suspicious characters, following their cues for when to cheer and keep silent. I’d been to plenty of games with Nadia last year, because she’d been dating Greg at the time. Sitting on the hard metal benches as the chilly breeze tied my hair in knots made me miss her so much it hurt.
Tegan had her slender fingers wrapped around a hot chocolate. She got me one, too, and handed it over with a calculating look. She leaned around me. “Hey, Laney. Did he say yes?”
Laney gave me a sour glance before she answered. “He said he’d think about it, not that it’s any of your business. I think he had to ask his host father.”
Oh, God. Laney had asked Malachi to prom. I took a quick gulp of hot chocolate and winced as it burned my
tongue and seared its way down my throat.
Tegan giggled as she looked down at her Styrofoam cup. “Did you get him to come out with you tonight?”
Laney sniffed. “He studies really hard. And I think he has some sort of after-school job.”
Tegan looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “On a Friday night?”
I hadn’t been happy that Malachi would be out patrolling tonight; he hadn’t had a night off since Tuesday, and I suspected he hadn’t sleaped that night, either. He was incredibly strong, but he was also human. I’d been worried about him, just like I always was when he went out in search of Mazikin. But suddenly I was glad, because it meant he wouldn’t be with her. Still, I spent the next five innings picturing him taking Laney in his arms. Kissing her like he’d kissed me. I couldn’t shake the urge to snap Laney’s skinny arms like twigs.
The Warwick High School Quahogs, only a week ago favorites to take State, lost the game in spectacular fashion, 1–9. Which particularly sucked, since they were dedicating the rest of their season to Aden. Ian hit a home run in the second inning and doubled in the fourth but was left stranded. His face was grim as he and the rest of the team jogged back to the field house.
Tegan drew her coat tightly around her. “Poor Ian,” she murmured. “How’s he doing?”
I looked up to realize she was talking to me. “Um. Okay, I guess? I’m meeting up with him now.”
She gave me the oddest look. “Be gentle, Lela.”
I frowned. “Gentle?”
“Don’t break his heart! You know Ian’s liked you for a long time, right?”
I studied her face, trying to read whether this was a joke. It was hard to tell with Tegan.
She nudged me from behind as we edged along the bleachers toward the concrete steps. “You never looked at any of them, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t looking at you,” she said quietly.
She left me with those words, which bred in my head and multiplied, spreading a thick layer of freak-out over the inside of my skull. I didn’t want to hurt Ian. I just wanted … to get away. To not have to deal with my life for a few hours. Which was completely selfish because the Mazikin were out there, preying on people. By the time I reached the entrance to the field house to wait for Ian, I’d convinced myself I shouldn’t be there. I called Jim.
