My mouth fell open that this was what he wanted to talk about. I rubbed the stress from my forehead, trying to fish out the right words from the crapfest I wanted to spew. “First off, Bastien could barely kiss me without running away like a scared little boy. You misunderstood him. He doesn’t want to marry me.”
“Aye, he does. He’s been mad for ye ever since ye left, and for however long before that. I've known Bastien a long time, and never seen him like this over a lass. But since there’s nothing he can do about it, and ye don’t have the jewels yet, I don’t see a way out of getting married to appease Morgan. The second ye find the jewels, we’ll bust ye out of here in the next breath.”
I wanted to toss him a sarcastic “great,” but knew it wouldn’t be all that helpful. “Yup. Awesome.”
“We were thinking how helpful it would be to have one of us on the inside to help ye get the jewels and smuggle them out. Since Bastien can’t do it for six months, and you’re due to choose a bloke this month, we were thinking of me.”
“Thinking of you for what?”
“For ye.”
My nose scrunched. “Huh? I don’t get it.”
Madigan gripped the back of his neck and rubbed, looking off to the side uncomfortably. “I thought I’d throw my hand into the mix. I wouldn’t bother ye, unlike the other lads who would want an heir right away. It would be a business arrangement so we could get the job done and get out. Plus, it bodes well for ye to choose an Untouchable. Morgan can’t kill us, and she won’t try to marry ye off to take our land, since I don’t own nothing but a plot in Éireland.”
I thought I’d hit my maximum capacity for shock that day, but apparently there was a whole new roof for me to jump through. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Ye don’t have to. I know this isn’t what ye dreamed of. And if ye get an offer ye actually want, ye can go off with him and I’ll never say another word about it. All I know is tha Bastien wants to marry ye, but he can’t. If he can’t keep ye safe, I’m your best bet.”
I stood up and sat down three times in my debate to either run for the door or stay to hash out the weirdest offer I’d ever been given. My hand pressed flat to my lips while I thought through the arrangement I never expected. “What happens after we do the job?”
“Ye had plans to go back to your life up in Common, aye? Fine with me. I’ll go back to Éireland, the son of Morgan le Fae. Grand. I don’t care. I care that Bastien’s lady’s being sold off to the highest bidder. Some of the lads putting their names into the mix are… I may not be your best option, but I know for certain I’m far above the worst. Tha’s all this is – trying to save ye from the worst.”
I gaped at Mad. “Did Bastien like, save your life in Vietnam or something? It’s a heck of a bond you two have, that you’d do this for him.”
“Aye. He brought me out of the Forgotten Forest and never once made me tell him why I was there. He did save my life, but the Brotherhood of Untouchables does that without a blink. We don’t have many people we can trust, so we take care of each other.” His voice changed to a grim note when he continued. “Bastien put my Meara up in his cabin for a few months while I was sorting out threats in my homeland. He stayed with her morning, noon and night, not laying a hand on her until I came back. It’s a rare man who doesn’t go after a beauty like tha. Bastien did tha for me, so I can do this for him.”
“Is Meara your girlfriend? I have a feeling she won’t be too thrilled with this arrangement.”
Madigan kept his eyes to the side and held up his left hand to show me a gold band that had scuffs on it from too many dirty fights. “She was my wife. Meara’s dead now, so I don’t think she’ll mind me helping out one of the brothers.”
I let out a shallow breath. “Oh, jeez. I’m sorry, Mad. I didn’t know.”
“Aye. Think on it, and I’ll see ye tomorrow when I offer my hand.” He looked up at the ceiling, as if he was trying to avoid eye contact at all costs. I could see his throat fully exposed, his Untouchable neck tattoo, and the scars that littered his body and crept up his skin like vines. “And I know Bastien’s not your favorite person right now, but he just lost a family friend. He’s not thinking straight. Took me a few days just to get him sober after we left ye. Then to see ye cozy with your soumettre? Well, there’s only so much a lad can take.”
I held up my hand to stop his bros before hos code. “I get it, and I can be cool, but I don’t really think I need to put up with his issues anymore. If he would’ve wanted it to work, he had every opportunity. He didn’t trust me, Mad. And on top of that, he humiliated me. You might feel like you owe him, but I don’t. He brought me into this messy world, but pushed me away every chance he got. I’m here to square away Avalon, and that’s it.”
“I saw ye gazing at him when things were right, and I’ve put up with his obsession to find a way to get ye back. Ye can say ‘tha’s it’ all ye want, but I know the real thing when I see it. Ye were happy with him.”
“I was. I was happy, and then he broke it.” I waved my hand between us to stop the stupid and pointless conversation. “I don’t need to hash this out.” I cleared my throat. “About the marriage thing? That’s way cool of you, Mad. I mean it. I’ve been keeping myself up at night, scared of who I might end up with. Morgan wants me to choose someone tomorrow.”
“Grand,” he said flatly. No doubt this wasn’t the way he’d seen himself settling down, either. “I’ll see ye at the celebration for Avalon, and offer my hand officially to your mammy. Do what ye want with it.”
I didn’t know how to say goodbye to him. After the marriage proposal, it felt weird to high-five the guy. But I didn’t feel comfortable hugging him, either. He seemed to have a strict don’t-anyone-friggin’-touch-me rule. “Okay. Thanks, Mad.” A wave of exhaustion swept over me, so I leaned on the arm of the hard, red couch. I like to think it was from chatting with the birds while they’d cheered me and Demi on while we bowled in my bedroom all afternoon, but really it was the gravity of my life these days that weighed me down and made me wish for a bed.
13
The Danger of a Soumettre
Bastien burst through the door, his sleeves rolled and his I’ve-got-this face on, like he was going to war or something. “I’m not waiting in the hall like a dog for you. I’m a part of this whole thing, too, you know.”
Madigan waved off Bastien’s bluster. “We’ve already reached an understanding. I’ll offer my hand officially tomorrow at the celebration.”
Bastien glanced my way like an animal afraid to get beaten on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper. “And what about my offer?”
Madigan blew out a raspberry toward the ceiling, exasperated at the scene. “I told ye it weren’t the right time for tha.”
Bastien dragged his chair across the divide between us and parked his beautiful backside down on it. His shoulders were hunched forward, like he was gearing up to tell me a secret. I didn’t want to see Bastien up close. I didn’t want to memorize his barbed wire tattoos. I didn’t want to inhale his cinnamon and Christmas tree scent. None of that mattered, though, because there he was, forcing me to deal with him. “Rosie, I’m sure Mad explained why I can’t marry you yet. But there’s something I can do that might help. I can’t stand the thought of you in here without me. It’s killing me to be wandering around Avalon without you. There’s no point to being here anymore if I have to be without you.”
I kept my words short and concise. “Spare me your dramatic love sonnets. I wouldn’t want you to say anything you’ll have to take back just because you friggin’ feel like it. I mean, what would Roland say if he heard you spouting such lovely things to a thieving witch?”
Bastien narrowed his eyes at my attitude, but said nothing to spar with it. “I could sign on as your Guardien if you give me your lueur. Then I could stay here with you.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, doing everything in my power to remember to be kind and compassionate. Mercy had to be s
omewhere rattling around inside of me. This was Bastien at his most raw, and I didn’t want to bite him too hard when he was so exposed. It was the nicest offer he could give me, about a month too late. My response was barely louder than a whisper. “You ran away when I accidentally tried to give you my lueur before I knew what any of that was. You, me, and the entire Backstreet Boys crew are singing the same, tired song. Quit playing games with my heart.”
He pried my hand from my face and mashed it between his, warming my chilly skin and pressing my fingertips to his lips. Oh, how I missed the feel of Bastien. I couldn’t bring myself to look into his caramel eyes and see all the swirling emotions we brought out in each other. “I was stupid to ever run from us. I was stupid to listen to Roland when he accused you of stealing the jewels. I’ve been stupid every day since then, trying to give you your space and stay away. I should’ve followed you here the day you walked away from me. You don’t belong here.” He reached out and gripped the back of my neck, forcing me to look in his eyes. “You belong with me. Don’t you feel it?”
It would be too easy to kiss him and throw my well-earned distance out the window. Just a few inches separated us, so I knew I had to add more depth to the wall I had built up to keep him from getting inside again. “It doesn’t matter what I feel. You can’t build a relationship without trust, and I don’t trust you anymore, Bastien. And you clearly never trusted me, taking me into the woods like you did. I’m with Demi now, so as much as I appreciate the personal growth leaps you’re taking to offer yourself up to be my Guardien, it just wouldn’t work.” I carefully slid my hand from his and placed it in my lap. “But thank you for the apology. I’m sure one day I won’t be this hurt by it all.”
Bastien followed my example of keeping voices low so we didn’t shout at each other. “Rosie, Demi isn’t your boyfriend. He’s not in this for you. He’s not even with you by choice. A soumettre is ordered to serve you, to give you his body at your request. That’s not love. It’s a dinner order.”
I couldn’t help the upset that welled in my chest. I inched away until my back was pressed to the furthest corner of the couch. “Why are you trying to hurt me?”
To his credit, Bastien kept his temper. We were going on four whole minutes, which had to be some kind of record for the guy. He kept his voice gentle, pleading with me to understand. “I’m not trying to hurt you, honey. I’m trying to explain Avalon to you so you don’t get hurt. Demi is your sexual slave, just as he was to your mother, and to a few of your aunts. Everyone in the kingdom knows the purpose of a soumettre. He’s supposed to make the crown easier to handle. He’s a professional, babe. He’s fitting into the mold you need your perfect guy to be.” Bastien reached out and took my hand again, just to feel my skin on his, however small that contact might be. “I’d be willing to bet that he’s kept his clothes on for the most part, that he hasn’t tried much beyond kissing you. If he’s as good as advertised, I’d be willing to bet that he plays sports with you, gave up eating meat for you, and holds you while you sleep.” His eyes closed on the last part, his plea dropping to an agonized whisper. “Tell me he doesn’t hold you while you sleep. Lie to me, Daisy. I’m dying over here without you.”
I shook my head, my disconcerted frown announcing that his words were hurting me deeper than I could take. “You’re trying to wreck it because I’m happy with him. You’re putting things in my head so I’ll break it off. You’re wrong, Bastien. Demi cares about me.”
“Oh, honey. That’s the danger of a soumettre. It’s his job to care about you. Your mother’s forcing him to pretend you two belong together, so you’ll be pacified and distracted from life and stay here with her. That’s not the same thing as real love.”
Tears moistened my eyes, but I refused to let them fall in front of Bastien. “You don’t know. He looks at me like… like I’m amazing. He likes me, even though I have a hump and a lazy eye. Even though I look like this.” I knew I wasn’t making any sense, but to me, that’s what our connection was like. In my heart, I still felt like the ugly girl people grimaced at, so each glance from Demi was a new thrill I cherished.
“Everyone who’s met you for more than two seconds looks at you like you’re amazing. He’s playing a part. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy; I’m saying you’re his job.”
I shook my head, and I knew my nose was turning red from the unshed tears that were collecting. “He’s nice to me. I need someone to be nice to me here, and I hate you for trying to ruin this! Why won’t you just let me be happy for once? You took me away from my regular life in Common, and now you’re trying to take this away, too?”
Bastien blew out a steadying gust, holding tight to my hand. “Honey, you can stay with Demi for as long as you want. I can’t control that, even though it breaks me to think of another man kissing you.” He pressed my palm to his chest to remind me that yes, Bastien did have a heart, and it was capable of rupture. “Just make sure not to tell Demi about the jewels, or anything that’s a secret. Morgan owns him, and everything else in this mansion. Never forget that. Please, Daisy. I’m trying to be straight with you. For the good of all we’re working for, Demi can’t be in on this.”
I nodded slowly, waiting a few beats so that when I opened my mouth, a giant sob didn’t come out and let him know he’d hit me where it hurt. “I haven’t told him, and I won’t. I don’t want to risk him like that. If Morgan finds out what we’re up to, I don’t want him involved. Rigby, either.” I let a bit of my raw emotion shine through. “Morgan had Demi beaten because I wore jeans outside the castle. Whipped, Bastien!”
He closed his eyes at the sound of his name on my lips, inhaling deeply before he spoke. “I could’ve put money on that happening. Morgan’s smart, and doesn’t trust anyone. Of course she would play on your thing for wounded animals. Of course she would hurt Demi to bond you two closer together. She wants you to trust him, to tell him your secrets so he can report them back to her. I’m guessing you two really stuck close after that?”
I was stunned, but managed to nod wordlessly. “Well, yeah. She locked me in my bedroom with him. This is the first time I’ve been allowed out in over a week.”
Bastien’s nostrils flared, but I could see him talking his temper off the ledge. “After this jewel business is over, I’ll bust you out of here, honey.”
“Demi cares about me. You’re wrong,” I said, but the conviction wasn’t there as it had been before. Bastien had stolen my conviction. He’d stolen a great many things from me.
“I just want you to be careful. If you won’t give me your lueur, I can’t move in with you here. I can’t keep you safe. You have to be careful, more careful than falling for a guy whose job it is to make you fall for him.” He closed his eyes and leaned closer to press his forehead to mine. His hand was still holding my palm to his chest. His thumb traced over the ring Kerdik had given me. “Man, I wish I could go back to the day when another guy’s ring on your finger was the worst thing.”
14
What you Get for Being a Douche
I managed to make it out of the room without kissing Bastien or crying in front of him, which I would like some kind of cookie or cash prize for. The guys left, and I rounded the corner of the giant castle, trying to remember where exactly my room was in the maze. My gut led me left, so I followed that hallway until I heard footsteps echoing behind me. I looked over my shoulder, casting up a wan smile to the soldier with rust-colored hair. “Hey, man. I’m thinking my bedroom’s this way, but I’m still kind of new here.” I wasn’t supposed to have a Compass ability, so it played in my favor to pretend I was lost every now and then.
“Actually, it’s this way, your highness.” He motioned for me to turn around, which was the opposite of what my gut was telling me to do.
The guy looked kind of familiar, though I wasn’t sure where I could know him from. It’s not as if I’d met a whole lot of Avalonians. He had a roundish face with a few freckles dotting his forehead. “Oh, thanks. You’re sure it�
�s not this way?”
“I’m sure. Allow me.” He popped his elbow out and led me through the wrong corridor downward, not upward. I knew my bedroom was on the eighth floor, and we were definitely going below ground.
I pulled my hand from his arm with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I think I forgot something in the parlor. I’ll figure it out. Thanks, though.”
His professional demeanor melted into a sneer. “You think you can get Talbot killed and just strut around the mansion, tempting every man in sight?”
“Huh? What are you talking about? Who’s Talbot?”
The soldier let out a cruel laugh and jerked me forward by my arm. “Priceless. A royal if I ever saw one. You don’t even know the name of the man you had killed.”
“Killed?”
“Yes, killed! Talbot didn’t know you were the Lost Princess. None of us did. He wanted to have a go at you in the stocks, and you dragged him inside to her majesty most high and got him killed for insulting the Lost Princess!”
I remembered dragging a dude in with more rage in my veins than reason. “Oh, that guy. I didn’t ask Morgan to kill him. I just reported his behavior, which I had every right to do. So what if I looked like a peasant. Is that how the rest of the women of Avalon are supposed to be treated? Because I’m a princess, it’s suddenly not okay to harass me, but if I wasn’t, it’d be fine?”
“If you were a peasant, we’d have you bent over a barrel so we could take turns going at your fine little backside.” He reached around with his free hand and grabbed my butt through my skirts. He couldn’t actually get at anything beneath all the layers, but still. Not cool. “I may not be able to lock you up in the stocks, but I can take you down to the dungeon and make you scream easily enough.”
I snarled at him, horrified. “Get off of me!” I ripped my arm from his grip and let an angry punch fly out, smashing him hard in the nose. I both felt and heard a satisfying crunch, which gave me just enough time to make my escape.
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