by Jenika Snow
She opened her eyes, and I stared at her.
Cassandra smiled, gave a little stretch and then a wince.
I’d taken her cherry last night, and fuck did I feel possessive about it.
Not only had I taken her virginity, but I’d taken her twice.
There was no excuse. I hadn’t been that drunk, and even though I wanted that as an excuse, I couldn’t use it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her brow furrowed.
“What makes you think there is something wrong?” She looked so beautiful.
“You’re looking for a reason to escape, aren’t you?” she asked, sitting up and looking damn worried.
I noticed she pulled the blanket up against her, hiding her delicious tits.
I remembered the way they felt in my hands, cupping them, and how good they looked bouncing as I pounded inside her.
“Last night—”
“Wow, you’re going to do it, aren’t you? You’re going to do the big whole brush-off? Are you even going to blame drink?”
She sat up, and took the words right out of my mouth. I felt like an asshole.
“Cassandra, it was a mistake.” Fuck, had I really just said that?
Those words were going to haunt me. I knew it. Tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. But then I saw strength rise up in her. “Of all the things you could have said, that one was the worst.”
Without waiting for me to say anything, she climbed out of bed, grabbed her clothes, and got dressed faster than anything I’d ever seen.
I didn’t stop her as she rushed out of the room, because honestly I didn’t know how to make this right. I hadn’t meant that it was a mistake, but I couldn’t take it back now. The words had left me, and I’d fucked up big time.
After getting to my feet, I got dressed and left the house, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.
When I got back to my empty apartment, I took a quick shower and headed straight to the gym. I needed to work off this nervous energy. The moment I entered, I waited to see if Cassandra appeared.
Nothing.
It was the first time in months that she didn’t visit the gym. I noticed Eric looked toward the door, frowning as well.
What the fuck had I done?
Cassandra
Three weeks later
Having a guy tell you that you were a mistake was the biggest pain of all. I couldn’t believe it when he said those words and then tried to make excuses. He didn’t voice them, but I knew they were what he wanted.
Instead of being one of those girls that caused a scene. I got dressed and ignored him. I hadn’t been back to the gym, and I didn’t intend to.
I sat at the dinner table Sunday, my thoughts confused, even though it had been three weeks after I lost my virginity. I’d been avoiding the gym and Rowdy like the plague.
“Are you okay, Cass?” he asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’ve not been by to see me. It’s strange not having you around the gym,” he said.
“I’ve been busy with work, and college, and stuff.” I didn’t go out of state to college. I stuck close to home. Unlike a lot of young people, I enjoyed spending time with my parents. Dad was a pain in the ass about protecting me, but he was a good guy, fair.
Besides, I couldn’t complain, because things could be a lot worse, even if the Rowdy thing hadn’t gone down.
“Some of the guys have been asking after you,” he said.
Even as I hated it, my heart sped up. Had Rowdy been asking? “Like who?” I didn’t want to think Rowdy could have been asking. “Was it Rowdy?”
“No, why?” he said.
I just shook my head. I wasn’t going to go back. I’d slept with Rowdy, and I wasn’t going to be hurt anymore.
“I like Rowdy. Boy has real talent and the potential to do good things. It’s why I’ve made sure to nurture him to where he is today.”
I knew my father adored Rowdy, everyone did. The biggest problem I had was that I loved him too much.
This was my fault for letting my heart get in the way, of thinking I was strong enough to just walk away from him after it was done. I’d hoped we had a connection, something special.
Clearly it had only been one way.
The truth was, we had nothing.
After dinner, I left my folks’ place to go to a movie with a few friends. I didn’t talk much, and the horror film was so lame that I left early. I was leaving the movie theater when I spotted Rowdy entering with a bunch of guys from the gym. I noticed the women with them as well, scantily clad. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a loose shirt.
I looked like gum on the bottom of a shoe compared to them.
I had hoped to go straight past, but Rowdy spotted me. He left the group to walk over to me.
“Hey,” he said with a cautious tone.
“Hi,” I said in a clipped one. I was humiliated over what had happened.
“You’ve not been around the gym.”
“I’m not going to be either. You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m going to leave you completely alone.”
This guy I loved. I’d saved myself for him, and he’d called me a mistake. What was I supposed to do with that? I felt broken.
Before he could say anything I walked past him. It was better this way; at least that was what I told myself. I tried to ignore my shattered heart.
Rowdy grabbed me before I could go any farther and pulled me down a darkened alley.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked.
“It has been three weeks since you left, and I fucked up. I didn’t mean to say you were a mistake, but since you haven’t been to the gym, and I figured you’d want space, I didn’t bother you.”
I stared at him, a little shocked.
“It’s been three weeks of watching the door at the gym, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. It’s been hard as fuck staying away, Cassandra.”
I could see my friends looking worried, but I waved them off. I turned and looked back up at him, but before I could say anything he had his lips slammed down on mine.
He kissed me deeply, sinking his fingers into my hair and holding me close. I should have pushed him away, but I was a fool who was in love. My body recognized him, and I wanted him to be closer, to feel him tightly against me.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” I said.
“Why?”
I couldn’t even answer him.
“I’m the one that shouldn’t be doing this. Your father. He wouldn’t want a guy like me with you.”
I released him and tried to pull away. “Let me go.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Rowdy, I gave you my virginity, and I can’t get that back. You called me a mistake. I can’t live with this push and pull. I won’t. Either you want me, or you don’t.” He didn’t answer for a second, maybe surprised by my outburst. I sure as hell was. “I’m not one of the girls that hangs around the gym waiting for a fighter to run after me.”
“I know, and that makes me want you more.” He took a step closer.
God, I could get lost in my feelings, but that was a dangerous road to go down.
Chapter Seven
Rowdy
I was playing with fire, that I knew for fucking sure. But God, I couldn’t help myself where Cassandra was concerned. I’d given her three fucking weeks to herself, stayed away, even though I’d wanted nothing ore than to go to her. Yeah, I knew where she loved because I’d been training with Eric for so long, but I hadn’t wanted to press her.
But all I’d been able to think is how I put my foot in my mouth and told her being with her had been a mistake.
It wasn’t. It would never be a mistake with her.
I’d wanted her for a long time, I’d had her, and that taste made me obsessed, intoxicated, and I knew I couldn’t just let her go.
I wouldn’t.
I’d pulled her into the darkened alley, and although it wasn’t really safe, there was no way any
one would be smart enough to fuck with us. If they were that stupid I’d make sure they got the beat down of their life.
I was hard for her, so fucking hard I couldn’t even think straight. The crowd from the movie theater had dissipated, and there were only the few stragglers left behind that could be heard. But her friends were still on the other side of the building, and I wanted them gone. I wanted Cassandra all to myself.
“Tell them you’re fine, that I’ll take you home,” I whispered, now pressed right up against her. I know she could feel my erection, because fuck, I was grinding it into her belly.
“Why would I want to tell them that?” she whispered, her hands on my biceps now, her fingers digging into my arms.
“Because you want me to take you home.” I was confident, arrogant even, but I could tell she was hot for me. “You want me as much as I want you. Three weeks without having you is fucking hell.”
I heard her swallow and loved the dazed look on her face. She didn’t answer for long seconds, but then she exhaled and nodded.
“Yeah, despite all of this and what happened, I want you so badly, Rowdy.”
I closed my eyes and groaned, resting my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry about saying that, baby, I really am. It’s not a mistake being with you. The only reason I said it was because you’re too good for me, and I’m worried about fucking up your life. I’m worried about making things tense with your father.”
She looked up at me with her wide eyes, maybe surprised I’d said anything at all.
“Your father is like my second dad, and I don’t want him thinking I want his only daughter because of a piece of ass.”
She licked her lips and I watched the act. “You don’t want me as just a piece of ass?” she asked honestly, softly.
I pressed my cock firmly into her belly. “No, far from it,” I breathed out, my mouth so close to hers. “I want so much more, and that should scare the fuck out of you.”
I pulled back and looked into her face. “Now tell your friends I’ll take you home.”
Cassandra
I could have blamed my stupidity on the fact I was caving so easily, but the truth was I knew love made people do crazy things.
And this was definitely crazy.
But Rowdy said he didn’t just want sex with me, and I believed him. I knew he wasn’t the kind of guy to bullshit or lie just to get what he wanted, especially when I knew he could have sex with anyone he wanted.
“Okay,” I said and pushed him back. He took a step away from me, and I swallowed as I walked over to my friends to tell them Rowdy would take me home. When they were gone and I turned around, a soft sound left me at the fact Rowdy was right behind me.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, and I felt my heart jump in my chest.
Yeah, if I hadn’t been in love with Rowdy already, I could see herself falling for the fighter pretty damn hard.
If I was going to make a mistake, and possibly get my heart hurt in the process, well, I wanted to enjoy every minute of it.
Chapter Eight
Rowdy
With Violet now living with Malachi, I had my apartment all to myself. I hadn’t brought a woman back here since before my sister lived with me. I didn’t want Violet to get uncomfortable, or hear anything.
Cassandra wasn’t like other women, though. She was special, and I was going to make sure she was treated as such. I was going to make sure she knew how much I cared for her, and that she wasn’t just a piece of ass for me.
She’d never be that for me.
After entering my apartment, I closed the door and flicked on the light. I hadn’t cleaned the place up in a couple of days, not expecting a female to come here, and I quickly grabbed some of the shirts that were on the floor and over the couch and tossed them into the laundry.
“Sorry about the mess,” I muttered, feeling a little embarrassed by it.
“It’s not that bad. You’d be surprised about what I’ve seen and consider messy.”
“You’ve seen a lot of guys’ bedrooms?” Anger filled me suddenly at the thought of her being in another guy’s place.
“I’ve had to clean the locker room for my dad. You guys stink, your hygiene is gross, and apparently no one knows how to pick up after themselves.” She smiled after she spoke, and it was like the room lit up.
“Not all of us are like that.”
“Do you really want to talk about men’s cleanliness right now?” she teased.
I chuckled. “No.” But as the seconds ticked by and the longer I stared at her, my arousal slammed through the roof. “What I want to do to you would probably scare you, Cassandra.” I watched her arousal start to take root, could even see the way her pulse beat at the base of her throat. “Take off your clothes, baby.”
Cassandra started breathing faster, and I got so fucking hard for her. The lust shining in her eyes matched mine. I knew it.
I wanted her like a fire bastard.
“You want me to get naked?”
“Yes,” I said instantly, knowing my voice as thick as hell. “It’s just you and me, and it’s been so long since I had you, Cassandra. I’m so very hungry for you.” God damn, was that my voice, all husky and filled with promise? “We won’t have any interruptions.”
“Unlike at the party,” she murmured, and I was aware she was looking at my mouth.
“I need you in my bed, want my scent all over you.” I was surprised by how much I wanted that. “I want you screaming my name when I take you again.”
She made this little sound, but then, thank fuck, she started to undress. I watched as she peeled every single layer of clothing off until she was stood before me naked. She was a thing of beauty. I was a fighter to the core, a complete asshole at times, but I knew how precious Cassandra was and is to me. She was inside my head, and my heart. What she didn’t know was that she held all the power over me, not the other way around. I had to go to her. I couldn’t wait around any longer. She called to me in ways no one else had.
“You sure you’re not going to regret this, are you?” she asked, and I heard the tremble in her voice.
“No. Fucking. Way.”
I’d been such a bastard to her, and I hated that, hated she felt like shit afterward.
“You made me cry, and as much as that sounds a little girly to admit, I want you to know it’s only because I care about you, Rowdy.”
Fuck, she cried? I made her cry?
“I’m so damn sorry, baby. I’ll never make you cry again.”
Cassandra averted her gaze and shook her head. “I’ve got a feeling when it comes to you that you’re going to make me cry a lot.”
I took a deep breath. I didn’t like how certain she sounded, as if I wouldn’t be able to help myself in making her miserable.
Stepping toward her, I cupped her chin, tilting her head back so she had no choice but to look at me. “Babe, I’m not going to hurt you. I swear it on everything I am.”
She licked her lips, and I saw the cloud of tears in her eyes.
I didn’t want to let her go.
Cassandra
I was a fool to think I could do this. I’d been told many times that Rowdy was only into casual fucking, not deep and meaningful relationships. But the way he looked at me, spoke to me ... touched me, told me he cared for me. He didn’t do relationships, and I didn’t do just plain fucking. Even as I said thought those words, I grabbed his arms, sinking my nails into his flesh, needing him like I needed to breathe.
I didn’t want to go, and yet I didn’t want to stay because I knew he could break my heart into a thousand pieces. The heartbreak would kill me for sure.
I need to tell him how I feel.
Rowdy sank his fingers into my hair, pulling on the strands so my head pulled back. “This can stop at any time. I don’t want to force you into anything you’re not ready for.”
“I don’t want to stop,” I said.
“Cassandra, I’m not going to pretend that I
don’t have a reputation of being an asshole. Fuck, I didn’t like Malachi being with my sister because a part of me knew he was like me.” He stroked his thumbs over my face. “You deserve better but I can’t let another man touch you. I can’t think of anyone else having you. I want you as mine.”
I stared at his lips, wanting them on me. I was a sucker for this man.
Rowdy claimed my mouth. The first touch was light, and the hand in my hair tightened into a fist. I was completely naked while he was completely clothed. With his other hand Rowdy gripped my naked ass, pulling me against him, rubbing my body next to his. Even though he wore jeans, I liked the rough edge of his clothing. Rowdy had always been rough to my smooth. Even now, we contrasted, and yet it felt totally right.
Being with him felt so right.
“I’ll always take care of you,” Rowdy said against my lips. “I’ll never give you cause to run from me.”
I pulled back and stared at him. “Are you promising me a future?”
Chapter Nine
Cassandra
“I’m promising whatever you need, baby.”
I had to tell him how I felt before this went so far there was no turning back. He deserved to know how I felt ... how I truly felt.
“I love you,” I spit out the words, my heart in my throat, my body shaking. I was scared of what he’d say scared of how this would play out. He looked shocked, his eyes wide, his face a mask of surprise.
Shit, I’ve ruined this moment.
And then he crushed his mouth to mine, leaving me no doubt he was happy.
“Oh baby.” He kissed me again and again. “I love you. I didn’t know you were gone until I didn’t know if I’d ever get to keep you as mine, but fuck,” he breathed out and kissed me in long, drugging sweeps of his tongue and lips. “Fuck, this is love. I feel it in my soul.”
I felt wetness on my face, tasted saltiness between our kisses, and I didn’t know if it was me or him crying. But it didn’t matter.
“Take me to the room, Rowdy,” I said against his mouth. Here was this big fighter, strong, massive in presence and form, and he wanted me. Only me.
