by B. B. Reid
“I wanted to see what he was doing to her. I wasn’t looking for pleasure. I was curious. Just me trying to be a good guy. I actually thought I might have been willing to protect her if need be because she couldn’t protect herself. But then she fucking took him. She actually decided to be with him thinking he could change, but he won’t and she won’t realize it until it’s too late. She’s already trapped.”
I knew I sounded like a crazy person rambling, but anyone with eyes and a brain would know it was true. Keiran was not only dangerous. He was possessive, too.
“Keenan, please let me go.”
“I always wondered what kind of desire he could get from someone he claimed to hate. Now I fucking know.” The slump in her shoulders and the way her eyes rounded told me she knew exactly who I hated.
“You hate me?”
“What I feel for you goes far beyond hate. I needed you, Shelly, and you turned your back on me just like she did.”
“I am not your mother, Keenan!”
“Oh, I know that. The difference between you and her was that I actually believed you loved me.”
“I do!” she cried out and struggled against her bonds.
I gritted my teeth. My internal fight was threatening to surface. I needed to stay levelheaded. “Then prove it.”
“How?”
“Run away with me.”
Son of a bitch… That wasn’t what I was supposed to say, but I wasn’t going to take the words back either. With each second that passed, and the fear growing in her eyes, the idea began to sound better and better.
“What?”
“You’re either going to run with me or run from me. Make your choice.”
I held my breath and kept what I hoped was a blank expression while my stomach twisted to the point of pain. I couldn’t put a word on what I was feeling.
“I do love you.”
Hope. That’s what I felt. I was glad I could still feel at all.
“So you’ll come with me then?”
That was until she took it away.
“No, Keenan. I won’t.”
* * * * *
The one person who could make me stay or who could make me feel whole again—if I ever was—turned me away. There was no way I could stay. She wanted to be free, and I would let her, but not before I made her a promise.
If I ever returned—if I ever saw her again—I would keep her—and I would make her sorry.
I risked coming back to my father’s house because there was one thing I couldn’t leave without. I had made it to the landing before I heard the lowered voices. My footsteps lightened as I crept closer to the bedroom door left slightly ajar.
“I know you’re pissed, but you can’t give up on him. He needs you now more than ever.”
“Keenan is capable of taking care of himself. He had no issues helping himself to you a few hours ago.”
“Do you really think that was about me? He’s fucked up right now, but he wouldn’t go that far. He wouldn’t hurt you like that no matter how much he thinks he wants to. He thinks you’re choosing me over him.”
“What if I am? He’s made his feelings about me clear.”
“Just like you made your feelings clear for me all these years? But even then, you still felt something for me.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you were good at running and you ran because you were confused.”
“Confused or not, he tried to take what belongs to me.”
“First, I’m not your property, Keiran. Second, he cannot take what I am not willing to give.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.” I could hear the frustration in his tone and could picture him running his hands down his face in that way he did that said he was ready to kill something… or someone.
I knew the risk I was taking by coming onto Lake, but she had been wrong. If she had offered, I would have taken because it was about her. I was willing to go that far because I knew what she meant to Keiran. I wasn’t a good person and tonight proved that.
I moved away and quietly entered my bedroom only to see a figure lying in the darkness. Light breathing filled the room, and I realized whoever it was must have been asleep. I crept slowly toward the sleeping form until I was standing at the head of my bed.
It was Di.
The daughter of the man my brother—Keiran—sent to prison.
I shook her none too gently and waited for her eyes to pop open. When they did, a terror I hadn’t expected flooded her expression when her gaze landed on me. She quickly backed away and then thrust her hands out to ward me off. I never moved from my spot, so I wondered what she could possibly be afraid of.
“Why are you in here?”
At the sound of my voice, her head tilted to the side in recognition though her eyes still appeared lost. “Keenan?”
Her husky voice sounded like sex, and I got the idea that she could be a phone sex operator, but then scratched it in my head before it could fully form. She was too sexy to be confined to a phone. A body like hers was made to be on display. Maybe that’s why her father pimped her out.
And I thought I was fucked up.
She brushed her dark hair out of her face and stared at me with her wide eyes and even wider lips. I considered fucking her for a moment but quickly nixed it. The scent and feel of Sheldon were both still evident on my cock, and strangely, I didn’t want anything to taint that. At least until I took a shower.
“What are you doing back here?” she asked when I turned away.
“I live here.”
“If Keiran sees you—”
I slammed the dresser drawer after retrieving what I came for and turned on her. “Don’t categorize me with the spineless fucks who tremble at the sight of him. I’m not afraid of him.”
“Obviously. You guys fucked each other up pretty good,” she grinned.
“Later.” I made for the door but, of course, she had to keep going.
“Wait,” she whispered loudly. “You look like someone who is running away. Where are you going?”
“Away from here.”
“Where is away?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Can I come?”
“Are you serious? Fuck no.”
“I can make it worth your while. You will need money. I have it, but it’s at home. I just need you to get me there.”
I had to admit I was intrigued. My eighteenth birthday had passed three months ago, and I’d yet to receive my inheritance. I sure as fuck wasn’t about to sit around and wait for it like some spoiled rich kid. I wanted no ties or obligations to my family. “How much money are we talking?”
Her smile spread even wider. “Enough to live free.”
CHAPTER TWO
FOUR YEARS LATER
SHELDON
“PENCILS DOWN. TIME is up. Please turn in your testing materials and have a great summer, everyone.”
The classroom came alive with students rushing to turn in tests and start their summer. I blew out what little breath was left in my lungs, shouldered my bag, and headed to the front where the tests were being turned in. Finals were officially over, and in two weeks, I graduate. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it’s been four years.
They say time flies when you’re having fun.
It might have been true except these last four years had been anything but fun.
“So how do you think you did?” Cool lips pressed against my neck as my bag was taken from my shoulder and slung onto a broad shoulder covered in dark cotton.
Eric Spencer was the one who every girl with a romantic heart dreamed of as her Mr. Right.
Sandy brown hair tangled in riotous curls complemented the twinkling green eyes staring down at me. He had good ole boy written all over him.
His hard body was free of tattoos.
He came from a good, wholesome family.
He was kind, sweet, and romantic.
And most importantly, he had not a disloyal bone
in his body. We’ve dated for almost a year now and never had I suffered from jealousy or insecurity. He was perfect.
Perfect and convenient.
“Hard to tell,” I finally answered. “I can’t remember answering any of the questions.”
“That’s okay. I know you did because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.”
“Hmmm… Was it really me or were you just trying to take a peek at my answers?” I joked as we left the classroom.
“Can you blame me? Not only are you beautiful, but you’re smarter than me, too.”
Once we reached the parking lot, I swung around to face him, planting my hand on his chest. “Flattery will get you everything.”
He leaned in to whisper against my lips, “I’m counting on it.” I let his lips press against mine and although I felt none of the searing intensity that I was introduced to at a much more tender age, I enjoyed it.
And why shouldn’t I? He was sexy as hell.
He just wasn’t the one I craved.
Don’t take yourself down that dark path, Sheldon.
“Oh, no you don’t.” It was hard to tell whom the warning was really for, but I jumped away, disguising the uneasiness I felt with a playful grin and tilt of my lips. “I have to get home, stud.” After snagging my backpack from his shoulder, I started for my car, needing to put distance between us.
“Any chance I might finally get that invite?”
Shit.
“You know I can’t do that.”
“All I know is what you tell me, and that isn’t much. Please, Shelly—”
“Don’t.” When his frown deepened, I added, “I asked you not to call me that.”
I didn’t miss the confusion in his eyes before he continued. “If I can’t come home with you, will you at least tell me why you insist on remaining such a mystery?”
“If I told you, then you wouldn’t be half as interested in me as you are now.” I lowered my sunglasses, checked my watch, and practically ran to get to my car.
I was late.
I fought through seven miles of traffic. The short distance took me twenty minutes due to everyone rushing home. There was a forecast for a thunderstorm tonight. Summer storms always proved to be the fiercest so I could understand the slight panic.
When I finally reached my destination, I hopped out of my car and rushed over the sidewalk to the entrance where the manager was closing the door for the night.
“Cindy, I am so sorry.”
“Sheldon, I told you to take all the time you needed.” She turned from locking the door with a wide smile gracing her lips. “So how did it go?”
“I’m not sure...”
I picked up my little dark haired bundle who pouted and said, “Mommy late,” before kissing me on the cheek. It was a move she made when she was upset with me but still wanted attention that reminded me so much of her father. I nibbled on her chubby cheeks, and once she was preoccupied playing with my hair, I turned back to the daycare manager.
“You’re not sure?” She cocked her hip and rolled her eyes. Cindy was like the big sister I never had although no one would ever really believe we were biological sisters simply because she’s African American. “What the hell does that mean, Sheldon? You have too much riding on graduating.”
“Language, Cindy.”
For a girl who spent her entire day with kids, she had a really bad habit of letting her words fly. The first time Kennedy brought home a bad word was the day I started potty training her. Promptly after making her deposit, she jumped to her feet, pointed to the kiddie potty and yelled ‘shit.’
“Sorry. I’m sure you did well, but you have to lighten up a little. If you stress then so does Kennedy.”
I didn’t need to be reminded of the risks of upsetting her. I never stopped thinking about it. “Easier said than done.”
“Have you thought about what I said?”
“No. I haven’t and I don’t need to. The answer is still no. It will always be no.”
“Sheldon—”
“No. Cindy, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know where to look. He’s gone.” I felt the tremble in my voice and judging by the look on Cindy’s face, I know she heard it, too. I looked down at Kennedy, who now stared up at me with wonder and innocence in her eyes that I wouldn’t want to take away because of her father’s black heart. “And if I’m lucky he’ll stay away.”
* * * * *
FOUR YEARS AGO
My guts felt as if they were crawling up my spine as I knelt over the toilet. It wasn’t fear of the unknown or even the violent retching that made my body tremble.
I knew exactly what was wrong with me.
It was ironic that I was at a wedding when I realized it. Lake’s aunt and the private investigator she hired to uncover her sister’s death had taken the plunge and married so soon after knowing each other.
“Sheldon?”
When I looked up, I was met with sparkling, turquoise gems staring back at me with worry etched all over picture-perfect features. I tried to answer and pretend everything was okay. I really did, but instead, I turned for another round of emptying my guts.
This couldn’t be happening.
I denied and rationalized it over and over in my head, but each time I felt my stomach turn and my head swim, I came closer to admitting the reality of my fucked up truth. I didn’t realize I was choking until I felt gentle hands pull me from the floor to sit on the couch. Who puts a couch in a bathroom anyway?
“Lake, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” She rubbed my back and waited patiently for me to continue. It was the only thing I could think to say. I didn’t realize how upset I’d made her until I heard her own sniffle and realized she was crying with me.
“Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”
Her panic sparked my own again. “Oh, God, Lake… he left.”
She visibly relaxed although she still wore a worried look. “It’s going to be okay, Sheldon. I’m sure he’s okay.”
“It’s not that,” I whispered low. My fear amped with each passing second. Once the words were out, I wouldn’t be able to take them back. It would become real.
“What do you mean? What is it?”
I needed this to be a dream. I shook my head before turning to look her in the eyes. “I’m—
The door burst open before I could finish, and Keiran stormed in looking pissed. I hadn’t realized just how much time had passed and the lingering threat that had almost gotten them both killed.
He spotted Lake sitting on the chair.
If I didn’t admit it now, I may never.
He headed straight for her.
My gaze locked with his, and I let the truth free.
It stopped him in his tracks.
“I’m pregnant.”
* * * * *
PRESENT
Twenty minutes later, I walked into our modest two-bedroom apartment that contrasted greatly with the luxury I had grown up in. The best part was I didn’t care because it was mine—ours.
I set Kennedy down, who immediately toddled off for trouble in parts unknown. I had strict instructions for her to stay out of the bathroom and kitchen, but just in case my little, hardheaded tornado chose not to listen, I kept gates in the entryways.
Her toys were kept in a bin in the living room so I knew where her first stop would be. I had maybe an hour to prepare dinner before she would be on the move again, so I usually waited until she tired herself out and put her down for the night before doing homework or studying.
We had a routine that worked for us. There were some bad days as a single mother and a baby cheated out of a parent, but we loved each other through it. It was enough because it had to be.
Besides, Kennedy wasn’t lacking from love. I had more than enough help when I needed it. Her existence changed more than just my life, and I’ll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant. It was the first time I think anything had made Keiran Masters afraid.
Instead of s
tarting dinner, I followed her into the living room and watched her from the entry.
“Mama. Toons.”
The sound of my little girl’s voice snatched me from memory lane. Her dark eyes, much like her father, stared up at me.
When I didn’t move fast enough, she lifted the remote from the coffee table, turned and said, “Mama, I watch toons now,” while pressing any and every button.
I studied her as she frowned in concentration, watching for any sign of absence or upset. Every day, she became more independent and fiercely so. I knew helping her would only upset her, so I waited patiently while she figured it out. It didn’t take long for my little genius to find a suitable channel, and when she did, I left her alone to fix dinner.
Adapting to motherhood was rocky in the beginning, and when I’d finally adjusted and found a rhythm, it was snatched away. Kennedy was diagnosed as an epileptic a year ago. The first time she had a seizure was the scariest seconds of my life. Even though the episode didn’t last long, I rushed her to the hospital that night, not knowing how or why, and I died each second that past. Because of her tender age, the doctors chose to keep her overnight but were prepared to call it an isolated incident. That was until not twenty-four hours later, she suffered another seizure. A couple of tests confirmed the doctors’ fears that it was epilepsy.
I remember thinking how she was too young.
Too innocent and undeserving.
Feeling helpless while she suffered twisted me inside out and ripped me apart. Every day, I worried that somehow simply caring for her wouldn’t be enough, and for the second time, I would lose the love of my life.
A year ago, I thought I was prepared to leave Keenan behind in my memories, but when I thought I was losing Kennedy, I sought him out. I reopened the wound for the sake of the life we created. For a moment, I believed he had the right to know even though it was his decision to leave. But when I couldn’t find him, and I began to realize he was gone forever, the wound healed differently.
I hated him for everything he forced me through for love. In the end, what hurt the most was he got to be the one to leave and I was left holding the shattered pieces.
