by Abbi Glines
“Fleur and her husband, Josh Clark, own a bar in Hampton. It’s not a big place, but it’s on the water and they have the best Lobster rolls in the state. Some nights they have live music. I fill in for them if I can. Just me without a band.”
Fleur was married. I relaxed a little then and I knew I was being ridiculous. I wasn’t with Creed. If they had been dating that would have been fine. I wasn’t sixteen anymore. Odd how my thinking it over rationally still didn’t make the idea of Fleur and Creed together okay.
“Oh,” I said, trying not to sound as happy about Fleur’s marital status as I was.
“I’m going to play for two hours tonight. They don’t stay open late this time of year. Not enough customers.”
“Sounds nice and I’ve not had a lobster roll since I’ve been back in New England.”
He shook his head. “Shame on you.”
We rode in silence for a moment then I felt Creed glance over at me. “You weren’t really going to hold our past with Fleur against her still, were you?”
I bit my bottom lip a moment because I wasn’t sure if I was going to lie or tell the truth. A lie would save me the embarrassment. Finally I just said, “Old habits die hard.”
Creed laughed loudly then and I smiled, liking that I’d made him laugh. Even if it was at me. He had a great laugh. It was something I used to love to hear and rarely did anymore.
“Derek is one of my friends now. I learned to forgive and forget,” he said in a teasing tone.
Derek Clark was Fleur’s brother. He was one year older than us, but I didn’t recall a reason for us to dislike him. He had always been nice to me. “Derek was never an issue,” I reminded him.
“Not to you he wasn’t. He worshiped the ground you walked on. If you’d told him to jump off a cliff, he’d have done it and taken a fucking selfie in the process.”
I turned my head to look at Creed. “No he would not! He was just a nice guy. He had to be because his sister was trying to make my life hell.”
Creed rolled his eyes. “You were blind to poor Derek’s efforts. If I hadn’t been so damn jealous, I would have appreciated it more. I couldn’t laugh about it back then because I was terrified you’d fall for the older, popular guy.”
I frowned. Was he serious? I didn’t recall Derek Clark having a thing for me at all. He was just a sweet guy. “I think you’re remembering things wrong.”
Creed raised his eyebrows then. “Okay. Then I’ll ask Fleur about it tonight. We will see who is remembering things incorrectly.”
The idea of asking Fleur about her brother’s attraction to me six plus years ago made me cringe. I’d rather just say I was wrong now and forget about it. “That’s okay, I believe you.”
He chuckled and kept driving. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to let this go. Before I could think of more reasons for him to forget about this, we were pulling into the parking lot of “On a Clark Shell.” Okay, so that was a cute name for the bar.
“I don’t play until seven thirty so we have forty minutes to eat. Can I trust you not to attack Fleur while I’m on stage?” He was teasing, but I still glowered at him then got out of the truck.
He was around the truck before I had the door closed. “It’s a little icy,” he said, then held out his arm for me to take. I looked down at his arm and thought about it for a second then decided I was thinking too hard about something so silly. Taking his arm, we walked toward the entrance, and twice, I almost slipped and would have busted my ass had he not being holding me up.
When we went inside, the warmth of the place was a relief. The closer to the water, the colder the wind it seemed. Outside felt frigid. There was a large fireplace that sat on the far-right wall and I wanted nothing more than to sit at a table near that. It looked toasty and the view to the stage in the center of the back wall would be perfect.
We were greeted before we could go too much farther by a young brunette in jeans and a black t-shirt that said In a Clark Shell on the front. “Good evening, Creed.” She blushed as she said his name. “Where can I sit you tonight? The usual?” She couldn’t be older than nineteen years old.
Creed looked down at me. “You want to sit near the fire, don’t you?” he asked me.
I nodded. “Please.”
He turned back to the waitress, “Lulu” or at least that’s what it said on her name tag. “Tonight, let’s try the booth by the fire,” he told her.
She gave me a smirk as if I were a lightweight that needed heat then spun around to strut with an over-exaggerated swing in her hips toward the booth by the fire. I glanced at Creed and he didn’t notice the extra effort Lulu was making. I felt a little bad for her but not completely. Creed was looking toward the stage then his eyes came back to me.
“Nice place, isn’t it?” he asked.
I nodded. It was a nice place. I liked the cozy feel. It was very New England.
“Creed!” a female voice called out from across the restaurant.
We both turned to see a grown-up Fleur walking toward us. Her boobs were bigger and at sixteen, I didn’t think that was possible. Her fiery long locks were a deeper auburn than they had once been. Her large round stomach sticking out like a basketball had been the most significant difference. Fleur Clark was pregnant. Creed had left that out.
She saw me and paused mid-step, and for a moment, I wondered if sixteen-year-old Fleur was about to take over but then she beamed at me and put her hands on her hips. “Oh my God! Sailor Copeland!” she said then continued her path toward us. “Creed Sullivan, you did not tell me you were bringing Sailor,” she said as she reached us.
“I thought I’d surprise you,” he said smiling smugly at me. I felt stupid for my attitude about Fleur in the car earlier. We were grown-ups now for goodness sake. I had been silly to think otherwise.
“Lulu get this woman whatever she wants. Don’t let her cup get empty,” she said to the blonde waitress then looked back at me. “I am thrilled you’re here. It’s been a lifetime ago it seems. When did you get back into town?”
It was as if there had never been issues between Fleur and me. She acted like any grown adult would with a childhood acquaintance. “Two weeks,” I told her. “I moved into my Gran’s house.”
She swung her eyes to Creed then back to me. “Neighbors again,” she laughed then. “The talk in Portsmouth has already started I bet. I’m surprised Derek hasn’t called me and told me. He should be here tonight too. Have you seen him?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t run into Derek in town and I didn’t realize he still lived there. I wondered if he too had a spouse and offspring. She laughed then and cut her eyes back to Creed. “Competition is good for you. God knows you need some.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but Creed smirked. “Sailor’s boyfriend is a med student in Boston. He’s my cousin’s roommate.”
Fleur’s eyes went wider then she laughed out loud. “I need some entertainment in my life. Other than swollen ankles and not being able to see my feet anymore. God, I wish I stilled lived in Portsmouth.”
Creed took my arm and motioned his head toward the booth. “Ignore her,” he said with a roll of his eyes.
I moved into the booth so that when it was time, I could see the stage clearly. Creed moved into the bench across from me. “If you’re done making up drama that doesn’t exist, we’d like lobster rolls and I want and Impy Stout.” He glanced at me. “What do you want to drink?”
I hadn’t seen a drink menu and I wasn’t one to know my order. I liked to see the specialty cocktails. However, if they didn’t have one, I was afraid it would be rude to ask.
As if she had read my mind, a menu was placed in front of me by Fleur. “These are our specialties. I suggest the Hampton Falls. It’s incredible if you like tart and sweet. If you prefer a smoother slightly sweet then the Snowy Sunrise is a great one.”
I deci
ded I’d try both. “I’ll start with the Hampton Falls,” I told her. Fleur appeared pleased.
“Keep the menu. You can try more,” she told me then winked before turning and walking away rather impressively for someone that far along in her pregnancy. Wasn’t she supposed to be waddling around by now?
“She’s a real witch, isn’t she?” Creed asked casually after she was far enough away she couldn’t hear me.
I shot him a sheepish look. I already felt bad enough assuming she would still be mad at me for taking Creed away from her eight years ago. “She’s great,” I said honestly.
He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest grinning. “You’ll like Josh too. They’re good people.”
I was sure I would. “Did all our friends get married and start procreating?” I asked him.
He gave me a wry look. “Apparently most did. There are a few still living the single life. Fleur’s brother Derek for starters. He was engaged a couple years ago, but she left him for a divorced surgeon and moved to Manhattan. Greg Harris is still single, he was the curly haired kid that lived at the end of the street. A foot taller than everyone else and the goofball.”
I had forgotten about Greg. He had lived to make people laugh back then.
“What about Ryan?” I asked, before I had time to think about what I was asking. Wincing, I started to apologize but Creed seemed okay with the question. Ryan had been Cora’s boyfriend the summer she killed herself. She had crushed on him for years and that summer I had wondered why she didn’t seem happier about finally getting him.
“He’s not married either. He’s had a hard time. His mother died of cancer two years after Cora died. His dad remarried and he didn’t take it well then a year into that marriage, his dad decided to end his life.” Creed stopped then and shook his head.
I didn’t know what to say when Creed mentioned suicide. Losing Cora the way he had made it a sensitive subject. Causing him anymore pain wasn’t something I wanted to do.
“Your beer.” A waitress that looked older than Lulu appeared with our drinks. “And a Hampton Falls. Fleur got your orders in and food should be out shortly. I’m Mary, if you need anything,” she said, before turning to head over to a table across the room.
Creed brought up a memory with Fleur and Derek that I’d forgotten. After that, we talked about funny things that had happened over the years with all our other friends in Portsmouth. Creed even spoke of Cora, without looking as if it was painful to remember her. We had finished our lobster rolls that had indeed been amazing and I was on my second drink the Snowy Sunrise when Creed had to leave me to go get set up on stage.
I wasn’t there alone for long; Fleur came over and sat down beside me pulling up a chair. Either it was because she couldn’t fit in the booth with her stomach or she wanted to see the stage.
“How has life been Sailor Copeland?” she asked me with a sincere smile. Fleur was happy. There was a glow about her that you couldn’t fake.
I shrugged. “Good. I went to college in Nashville. Met my boyfriend there. Graduated then moved here to live close to Griff while he is in medical school.”
She took a drink from a fancy bottle of water she was holding. “I saw you two years ago at the CMA’s and I told my brother he needed to fly down to Nashville while you were still unmarried. That black dress you had on with those red boots. Fire!” she told me.
I smiled and thanked her, not sure what else to say about the mention of her brother. “Derek doesn’t go after life the way Creed does. He isn’t one to live spontaneously. He’s too career-driven and focused,” she sighed. “My brother is boring.”
“Career-driven and focused is a good thing, I think. Griff is that way,” I said then glanced over at the stage. “I think not knowing or understanding someone makes it harder to trust them.”
Fleur didn’t say anything just drank her water.
After a few moments, she rested the bottle on her knee. “I don’t know. I think the guessing makes life fun. Too much focus can lead to dull and boring. My husband, Josh, I never know what that man is going to come up with next, but I trust him without question.” She seemed so secure as she spoke of her husband. I was happy for her and a little envious. I missed Griff and having him near me. When we had been at Vanderbilt, we had spent every day together We had studied together or at least in the same room.
Now, he barely called, and I didn’t even know what he was doing this weekend. He hadn’t called to tell me. I missed him…I missed us.
“I’m glad Creed brought you. Last time he brought someone, she was annoying. Kept sending drinks back to the bar with complaints and our bartender is the best. If she hadn’t been here with Creed, I’d have told her to leave. I did ask him not to bring her back.”
I had seen some of the females Creed spent time with. I wasn’t surprised.
“I’m glad he brought me. I love your place and it was good to see you.”
She leaned forward and sat her bottle on the table. “Come back with or without Creed.”
I nodded. “I plan to,” I told her. “I’ll bring Griff when he’s in town.”
Fleur smiled then stood up. “I need to go check on things in the back and make sure the lady at table five is happy with her special order.”
I watched her go then turned to look back at the stage, just as Creed greeted the crowd and began to play. His eyes met mine as his he began to sing. A warmth that seemed to come with Creed Sullivan’s gaze ran through me. I felt guilty as I shivered but I didn’t look away. His deep voice was mesmerizing. The corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked grin as he continued to look at me.
It felt like we were the only people in the room. Although it was only eye contact the power of it excited …and scared me.
thirteen
November 9, 2019
The weather wasn’t going to get much warmer than it had been yesterday, although the weatherman said we would see a high of forty-one degrees. Yesterday, we never got over thirty-seven. I had called Griff twice yesterday and then left him a text before I went to bed. He still hadn’t returned my call or text and it was eight thirty in the morning. I was going to assume he was not coming since it was Saturday and he’d not found time to call and tell me when to expect him.
I was snuggling under a heated blanket with a cup of coffee in one hand and the other tucked under the covers. I didn’t see a reason I should leave the house today. I could clean, unpack the last two boxes, and order some thicker curtains for the bedroom. I had read that it helped keep the room warmer in cold months. Might as well try it.
My phone was beside me on the table when it began ringing at exactly eight forty-two. I sat my coffee down and picked it up seeing Griff’s name on the screen. Excitement that I might be seeing him today took over and I jerked it up ready to hear the sound of his voice.
“Hello!” I said cheerfully into the phone.
“Hey, babe. Keeping warm?”
“I am currently in front of the fire under a heated blanket. And you?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you yesterday. Class went long then we headed to the library for some study material. By the time we were back in the apartment, I was too tired to do anything but eat a sandwich and crash. When I woke up on the sofa, it was too late to call you.”
That made sense. I felt guilty for being mad at him yesterday for not at least texting me back. “It’s okay. I hope you got some rest.”
“I was up at four back on this paper.” He paused, and I knew without him saying anymore that Griff was not coming today. I let the sting of disappointment come then I shoved it away. I was dating a man in med school. I had to adjust. “I don’t think I can make it this weekend.”
I almost said I would come there, but I knew he didn’t need me as a distraction. He’d have asked if he wanted me there. “It’s okay. I already figured you
were busy.” That was the best reassurance I could manage. I wanted to cry in my coffee and feel sorry for myself.
“I promise soon I will get up there. I miss you,” he told me and I could hear the sincerity in his voice. This wasn’t easy on him either.
“I miss you too,” I told him.
“Talk soon, I love you,” he said.
“I love you,” I replied and then he hung up.
I pressed end and sat my phone back on the table then reached for my coffee. I had expected this, but it hurt nonetheless. Not only that but he hadn’t asked me one thing about my job or life here. He was always short on time and I never got to tell him anything anymore. We used to talk about everything.
Tears filled my eyes and I let them fall. I needed a good cry and it wasn’t hurting anyone for me to cry alone in my house. I missed Griff. I missed Gran. I missed having someone to tell things to. Griff wasn’t just my boyfriend but my only friend. I didn’t have many friends in Nashville, simply because I learned at a young age that no one wanted to be my friend. They wanted to be near me so they could be near my dad. To say they met someone famous. Even worse to slip him a CD of them singing or a song they wrote. I had stopped having friends a long time ago. When I had met Griff, he hadn’t even known who Denver Copeland was and I had loved him for that.
Tomorrow I would get up and go grocery shopping and maybe go shop for Christmas decorations but right now, I was going to sit home and sulk. It was warm inside and I knew outside it was still freezing. Besides I was good at being alone. I’d been alone most of my life.
Cleaning house and unpacking the rest of my boxes had only been enough to keep me busy until lunch. I was now done with my egg and avocado sandwich. I had nothing to do. I stood in the kitchen, looking out the window at the people out in their yards. You would think it wasn’t overcast and forty degrees. These folks had thick skin.
Deciding I needed to get out, I went to grab my fur-lined boots and then my heavy coat. At least I could go for a walk. I needed some exercise. I also needed to acclimate to this climate. Staying inside bundled up wasn’t going to help with that. I was almost to my mail box at the end of the drive when a red truck slowed down in front of the house. It came to a complete stop and the driver side window rolled down.
