by V J Lee
Rissa must have laid there for at least five minutes, before she dared move or open her eyes. Nausea and pain would return the minute she opened her eyes. She didn’t have a clue if the nausea came, because of the pain that tore at every muscle and bone in her body, or if the pain was from all the vomiting she had been doing of late. Either way, she needed to get this over with.
Slowly, she pried her eyes open. Her muscles ached from the three times Trevor had come to her bed that night, then once again this morning. Each time, right when she was about to come, he finished, rolled off her, gave her a towel to clean up, and got up to get her more ice water.
Her stomach didn’t revolt to her movements, and the pain was nothing compared to the way it had been, before she and Trevor started this little experiment. She was in no way one-hundred percent, but she could move more freely and didn’t have to keep her head over the toilet. Rissa laid there, moving her fingers and toes, then feet and hands, and so on, all the way up to her head. As she was getting ready to try and push herself from the bed, she sniffed the air. Bacon and coffee. She waited to see how her stomach would react, and when there was no sign of puke escaping, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and sat up.
She thought she heard voices. Yes, one was Trevor, but she couldn’t place the other voice. Curious, she wanted to head into the kitchen to find the source of the voice, but she changed plans and headed to the shower. She was able to stay awake in the shower and stand on her own. She was weak and sore, but nothing like it had been. Dare she hope this was a good sign?
Once she got out of the shower, Rissa pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, pulled on a pair of panties and matching bra, gray yoga pants, and Trevor’s shirt. His scent was embedded in it from the multiple times he came to her last night. If she was honest with herself, it gave her great comfort.
Shuffling into the living room, she saw that the other voice belonged to Jacob. He was growing like a weed these days, and even his little voice was changing. No wonder she hadn’t recognized it. His blond—almost white—hair was getting longer, and was starting to curl around his ears. He was busy with crayons and paper. She stood at the entrance to the kitchen, leaning against the refrigerator, taking in the scene.
Trevor was standing at the stove, making pancakes and eggs. He wore a pair of silky black and red basketball shorts and a black T-shirt pulled taut against his muscles. His feet were bare, and he looked like sex-on-a-stick. Jacob sat at the breakfast bar, twisting the high bar stool one way, then the other, like he couldn’t sit still, while engrossed in the picture he was coloring.
“I need help. I don’t know how to do dis,” he whined to his dad.
“Just do half of it one way, then the other half the other way.”
“I don’t know what you mean. My brain is little. I just don’t know how.”
Trevor walked over to his son. “Look, I’ll do this side.” He leaned down, drawing something with a red crayon. “Now, you do the same thing on this side, so it meets with mine down here. Do you see?”
“Okay, let me try.” The little boy’s tiny pink tongue came out of his mouth as he concentrated. “I fink I did it. It looks like a butt.” He giggled at the word butt.
“Let me see.” Trevor again leaned down. “Yep, that’s how you know if you did it right. If it looks like a butt, it’s right.” He ruffled the boy’s hair and smiled down at him.
“What are you two up to? It seems like trouble to me,” Rissa said, as she made her way to the breakfast bar next to Jacob.
“Wrissa! Wrissa! Wanna kiss ya!” Jacob couldn’t be any cuter.
“Lobe you, Jacob-Wacob!” She leaned over so he could kiss her cheek, noticing that he flipped his paper over, before she had a chance to see it.
Rissa looked up at Trevor to find, once again, that his emotions were masked from her.
“Do you want some tea and crackers?” he asked.
“God, no. I’ve been living off that stuff. I want bacon and coffee.”
“Feeling better, I take it?”
“Yes, actually. I am.”
Trevor slid a plate of cut-up pancakes, eggs and bacon, along with a glass of orange juice in front of Jacob.
“Thanks, daddy.”
“You’re welcome. You may want to take your picture in the other room, so you don’t get it all sticky.”
“K.” He grabbed his artwork, jumped down off the stool, and took his picture into the front room to put it on the coffee table, before he came dashing back in.
“You sure coffee is the right choice for the baby?” he asked her.
“Does it matter at this point? The baby will be born soon, anyway. I think I should indulge while I can.”
Rissa saw the hurt in his eyes, but it was just a flash, and then it was gone. Again, that steel resolve was in place, as he handed her the coffee and a glass of juice.
“You sure you’re ready to try solid foods?”
“Yes, please. Especially if those are your famous chocolate chip pancakes.”
Jacob, who had jumped into his seat and was eating like a champ, looked up at her with chocolate all over his face. “Yep, they are. We had to buy food when daddy picked me up. Cuz you had none. Daddy said I’m not ‘pose to jump on you cuz you’re sick. Why are you sick? One time, I froad up on mommy cuz I was sick, and she yelled at me. Did you fro up on daddy?” Then he laughed and laughed.
Trevor’s smile lit up his entire face. “No, she didn’t. And even if she did, I wouldn’t get mad at her.”
“When can I see mommy?”
Trevor sent her a look that said, I’m sorry. Rissa just shrugged.
“Soon, buddy. Why don’t you go take the rest of your breakfast into the front room and eat it while you watch your cartoons?”
Jacob looked over at Rissa with a look of shock and horror on his face. He knew her “no food in the front room” policy for him. He made a mess out of everything.
“It’s okay this time. Just don’t get syrup all over,” she yelled out after him, because he had already hightailed it to the couch.
Trevor pushed a plate with a pancake, three strips of bacon and some scrambled eggs in front of her, along with some silverware. Her first bite of real food in days was pure ecstasy. She must have moaned, because Trevor looked at her with his coffee cup midway to his sexy lips, with a smirk and one eyebrow lifted.
“Good?”
“Oh, God, yes.”
Sadly, she could only finish half of the pancake and two pieces of bacon. The eggs had no appeal whatsoever.
She started to pick up her plate to clean it off and put in the dishwasher, when he took it away from her, then pushed a book toward her.
“I’ll clean up. You need your strength. I talked to Apollo, and he suggested using the natural elements to help energize you. So I picked you out a J.R. Ward book and cleaned off your lounge chair, so you can get some sun.”
His caring was staggering.
“Well, if you insist.” She smiled at him, taking the book with her. She noticed a small suitcase by the couch.
“What’s that for? Jacob has plenty of stuff here.”
Trevor moved toward her. “He’s going to go on a little vacation for a bit. Travis can’t take him. God knows he has no experience with kids. I think while he had him, the kid had enough sugar to last ten lifetimes. Poor Travis couldn’t keep the kid from bouncing off the walls.”
“Didn’t you think to ask me about this little vacation?” She lowered her voice. “I am his mother.”
Trevor looked offended. “Do you think it wise to keep him here? While we need to do whatever it takes to keep you alive? Or when Apollo needs to show up and ‘heal’ you?” he asked, using air quotes.
“I guess you have a point, but you could have asked me. Who is he going with?”
“His grandparents are taking him for a month.”
Hurt hit her hard and straight to the heart. Trevor not only planned a vacation for their son without talking to he
r first, but he was going to let him go with Petra’s parents. She fought off hurt and anger as he continued.
“They’re going to take their RV around to as many national parks as possible.” He turned back to the sink to finish cleaning up.
She was still processing Jacob being away with Petra’s parents, his only grandparents, when it hit her. “Wait, my parents are doing that.”
Trevor turned back around, a little smirk curling his lips. “Yes, I know.”
“Why? How? What?” Confusion overtook the hurt and anger.
“Well, I need someone to look after him for a bit. I told your dad that you were on a case that I needed to join you for. He offered, I accepted. It was that easy.”
“Wait, you called my dad?”
“Your dad and I have always kept in touch.”
Rissa knew her mouth was hanging open, but she couldn’t help it.
“What can I say? He loves me. He called me after he found out we weren’t together, begging me to win you back.”
That’s when Jacob came up to her, taking her hand in his and melting her heart. “Wrissa, can I go out wif you?”
“Of course, you can.”
“Rissa isn’t going to push you on the swing or play with you, buddy. She will be out there to relax. If you need anything, you get me. Do you understand?” Trevor said in his best dad voice.
“Yes. Come on, Wrissa. Let’s go.” He pulled her toward the back door.
“I’ll bring out your coffee,” Trevor called out after them.
Jacob took off for the playset, while she lounged on the chair. Trevor brought out her coffee and water, setting them on the side table, then sauntered back into the house with another warning for Jacob to leave her be.
Rissa was about fifty pages into The Shadows, when Jacob came over, sitting at the end of her lounge chair.
“Wrissa, what’s an orgasm?”
She sputtered. Good thing she had just swallowed her coffee, or it would have sprayed all over him.
“Where did you hear that word?”
“Daddy was on the phone asking if he should gib you one.”
Wow. How did she go about explaining this to him? “Well, that’s something a daddy gives a mommy.” She was shocked they were talking about this at his age.
He crinkled up his little face. “He can’t gib you one. You are not my mommy.”
Her heart sank. She felt the tears well up in her eyes, so she turned her head, so he wouldn’t see the agony he caused her.
“Well then, I guess he can’t give me one then, can he?”
“Nope. But maybe he can gib it to my mommy.”
“Come on, buddy, it’s time to go,” Trevor said from right behind her. Rissa had no idea if he heard their conversation or not, and she really couldn’t care less.
“I’ll be back shortly. Apollo and Cosmo will be here soon, so you won’t have to be alone for long.”
She snapped at him. “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah, how’d that work out for you last time?” That made her cringe. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“No, it’s fine. I deserved it.”
He came over, sitting on the side of the chair, taking up the space that she needed to breathe. “No, you didn’t. You are one of the most capable and strongest women I have ever met. Shit happens to even the strongest of people. I’m just worried about you. Plus, Apollo needs to make the little tater-tot grow. Apollo said Cosmo was tagging along to watch your backs, while Apollo takes care of business. I’m sure it’s more to be a pain in my ass, though.”
Rissa said nothing.
“Wuv you, Wrissa! Come on, daddy. I wanna go now!” Jacob screamed from the back door.
“I’ll be back, and we’ll talk.”
“Just go.”
Rissa went in the back door, unable to stay outside, pretending to read on the couch, when she saw Jacob’s picture on the coffee table. She turned the artwork over and could see where Trevor wrote Mommy, I Love and Miss You, then Jacob traced over it. There was also a big red heart in the middle.
The tears escaped her eyes, sliding down her cheeks. Even though they felt like lava searing her skin, she just let them burn a trail down her face.
It wasn’t fair that she was Jacob’s mom and Petra was the one who got to raise him—or that she was the one he loved and missed.
Rissa was still standing there crying, when Apollo and Cosmo materialized in the room. It was Cosmo who grabbed her first, hugging her to his massive chest, his big muscular arms encircling her.
He whispered in her ear, “Tell me who I have to gut, and it’s done. Then, I’ll wear their skin as a suit. Please, tell me it’s Trevor, and I’ll have it filmed, so you can have years of enjoyment watching it, whenever you feel blue.”
That did make her smile.
She could feel him shooing Apollo to the bedroom so he could get things ready for her. Cosmo pulled her chin up so he could look into her eyes, though it felt like he was looking into her soul. He took her head in his big hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
“What are these all about?”
“Everything and nothing. I don’t know. Jacob loves Petra. Trevor left me, because I was too strong, yet I wasn’t strong enough to fight for us. Now that I’m weak, he doesn’t like that either. You ever feel like you just can’t win? I want Trevor to be okay with this baby, before I go so I know it’s loved. But I don’t know that he will.”
Placing his lips on her head, she could feel his warm breath. “Anyone can take care of a mild, weak woman. It takes a real man to be able to care for a strong woman. Even now, in the weakest moments of your life, you are truly one of the strongest humans I have ever encountered. Coming from someone who is centuries old, that is saying something. You need to not waste your energy on ‘what-ifs.’ What if Trevor doesn’t love the baby? What if Petra and Jacob maintain their relationship? What if they all become a family again with your baby? Who will take your baby if Trevor doesn’t want it?” When she widened her eyes in surprise, he said, “You didn’t have to tell me your worries, I can read them in your eyes. Take this energy you are burning on all the worries and woes of life, and put it into keeping your baby alive.” He placed his lips to her ear. “You are always fighting for everyone else, now you have to fight for you. You have a tendency to stop fighting when it’s for you, and that, my dear, is a fatal flaw. I don’t know what I would do if one of my favorite humans weren’t here to make me smile, laugh and get hard, every time I’m around her.”
Cosmo was right. Rissa didn’t need to waste her energy on worrying. She needed to put all her energy into her baby. She wrapped her arms around him, and squeezed with everything she had. She wanted to tell him how much she appreciated him being here for her, without having to say the words. He must have understood, because he squeezed her back, like he never wanted to let her go.
“Now, get in there with Apollo. I need to go make a security check on the grounds, then I want a beer and to watch The Walking Dead.”
“Thank you, Cos. I needed to hear all that. You have such a pure, wonderful soul.”
His normally-warm Caribbean-blue eyes turned glacial blue and his entire body tensed. “There is nothing in me that is pure or wonderful, especially my soul.” With that, he dematerialized.
She didn’t have time to ponder his sudden change in mood, because Apollo summoned her to the bedroom.
Chapter 22
Trevor was still feeling overwhelmed after the day he had with Jacob, and dropping him off with Rissa’s parents was the hardest thing he had ever done. Rissa’s dad had pulled him aside, telling him to take care of his princess, and had begged him not to let anything happen to her. He said he would do his best, but in his gut, he knew it was a lie. She may be gone soon. Trevor wouldn’t allow himself to think about it.
He knew that Apollo and Cosmo would be in the house, but he was still startled to see Cosmo sitting on the couch, drinking his b
eer with his feet on the coffee table and watching some zombie shit on television.
“Where is Rissa?”
“In the room with Apollo.”
Trevor headed down the hall to the room, when he heard Cosmo say in a weak voice, “No, don’t go in there. Stop. Don’t do it.” He was putting up the pretense of stopping him, but had no desire to do so. Trevor continued.
He opened the door and stopped dead in his tracks. Rissa was naked, hovering about six inches over the bed. Apollo was naked as well. He was really, really hard and really, really hung. The Healer was standing over her, with one hand above her stomach, and one hand right below the small of her back. A light blue light was surrounding Rissa’s midsection. Her eyes were closed, her arms were to her sides, and her hair was hanging from its ponytail.
Trevor’s gut dropped, and his temper rose, but instead of pulling Apollo away and beating him with his bare hands, he decided he needed a beer.
Cosmo was standing at the fridge with two bottles of microbrew in his hand. He twisted off both caps and tossed them in the sink, although Trevor was certain that they weren’t even twist-off, then he handed one to the other man.
“Thanks for giving me one of my own fucking beers,” he snarled at Cosmo.
“You’re welcome.” Cosmo went back to watching his show with his feet on the table.
Trevor stood there for a minute, not wanting to stand still, but if he started moving, he was afraid he would bust into that bedroom and hurt—or rather, try to hurt—Apollo. He was pretty sure that Cosmo would take him out, before he even made contact.
Instead, he went into the living room and parked his ass on the sofa next to the other man. Trevor just sat there, pretending to watch the hordes of zombies on the screen. He could totally relate to them—he was mindless as well.
“Why do they have to be naked?”
Cosmo chuckled as he took a swig of beer. “It all has to do with the flow of energy. They can do some stuff with clothes on, but when it’s serious shit, both parties need to be all-natural. The energy flow is more fluid and stronger that way.”
“What about that massive erection Apollo Steed had? Why is that necessary?”
