“It doesn’t matter.” Her voice shook. “I came here to apologize. I thought we could make a long distance relationship work.”
“Thought? We still can.” Liam reached for her.
Autumn snatched her hand away. She didn’t mean to be so harsh, but what could Liam expect? She caught him kissing his former girlfriend. “No. I don’t think we can.”
“Because of Victoria?”
“Because of lots of things.” Autumn scanned the carport, her eyes falling on a warped, wooden workbench; a tin trashcan attracting horseflies; and a dented white fridge that hadn’t been scrubbed in ages. She wondered if the inside of the house was as equally depressing. “The Cayo isn’t doing well. Aunt Glenda is going to sell, and my mom is likely to pack up and move to El Paso. Don’t you see? Everyone I love is going to be hundreds of miles away from me.”
“Including me,” he said.
“Including you.”
“Stay here with me,” he pleaded. “Pops won’t care.”
Autumn scoffed. “I can’t. You don’t have a job. I won’t have a job. Neither of us have money.”
Liam crushed an empty beer can and threw it against the wall. “I love you, Autumn. Why isn’t that enough? Are you just going to throw that away?”
The air rushed out of her chest. He loved her? She’d always imagined the moment a guy confessed his love, but Liam didn’t appear sober. This wasn’t that moment.
“You were kissing Victoria,” she said.
“She kissed me before I could stop her. Don’t you know me better than that?”
Impending tears burned the corners of her eyes. She was amazed she had any tears left inside her. “This is for the best.”
“You don’t want to throw your life away on me,” he said, flatly.
Autumn narrowed her eyes and gave Liam a hard look. “I don’t love you.” Something pressed on her heart, as if an invisible fist had grabbed hold and was squeezing tightly. “Liam, I didn’t—I don’t.” She couldn’t finish her thought. She didn’t mean to say she didn’t love him. Where did those words even come from? “Inez.”
“Don’t blame her for how you feel. If you don’t love me, it’s okay.” Liam turned away from her. “Go home to Jersey where no one can get to you. Not Inez. And not me.” Liam fled the carport and went inside, slamming the door so hard, it practically fell off the hinges.
The pressure lessened its grip and Autumn exhaled slowly. She climbed into her mother’s car and drove away. It wasn’t until she was nearing the Cayo that she realized she had meant to tell Liam she loved him. Instead, Inez had spoken for her.
#
Pops crouched down and smacked Liam’s face. First they were light taps on the cheek, but as Liam became increasingly hard to wake, the taps became slaps.
“Wha? Wha?” Liam asked, rousing.
“Come on, kid,” Pops said, shaking his head. “What’s the matter with you?”
Liam draped his arm over his face. “Ugh, go away.”
Pops lifted Liam’s legs and sat down on the couch. He kicked aside empty beers cans that littered the carpet below. “You can’t be drinking beer like this. You’re only eighteen.”
Liam curled up and turned away. “Oh, like you and your navy buddies didn’t drink when you were my age.”
“That’s different. The times were different. Get off the couch and go to your room. Tomorrow, I’m throwing out all the alcohol.”
Liam rolled off the couch. He could barely get to his feet. “Then how will you survive?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What do you think it means? Why is Dad in rehab? It all starts with you. You drink more than anyone, you’re just good at concealing it. Did Inez’s death drive you to drink? Out of guilt?”
“We’re not talking about this,” Pops said through gritted teeth. “You don’t know everything.”
“Why? If you killed her, tell me. If you didn’t kill Inez, then you’re protecting the person who did.” Pops left the room. Liam shouted, “Autumn dumped me! Another Breyer loser whose woman left him!”
But Pops was out of earshot. Liam went to his room and slammed the door. Truth was, Autumn didn’t dump Liam because of Pops. She dumped Liam because of Liam. Just like Victoria. Just like the few other girls before them. Liam was not the guy everyone wanted him to be, even when he tried.
#
By the time Autumn returned home, she had no more tears left to cry. So, she flopped into one of the dusty chairs in the parlor and stared at the floral wallpaper.
Her cell phone buzzed in her pocket. She slid the phone out to see her father’s name on the screen.
“Hey, Dad,” she said, forcing her voice to sound perky. She wanted her father to think she was excited about coming home. The last thing she wanted was to hurt her dad’s feelings. Besides, Autumn had burned her bridges. It was time to start fresh in Jersey.
“Hey pumpkin. Are you excited to move back?”
Autumn forced a smile, even though she knew her father couldn’t see her. “You bet.” She reminded herself that she’d been wishing for this moment, and at last it had arrived. If only it wasn’t at the expense of her and Liam. But seeing him with Victoria just made her understand that Liam wasn’t serious about her, even though he said he loved her. And why should he be? They were only eighteen.
Now, Autumn genuinely smiled. “I’m super excited to see you.”
“That’s great,” her father said. She noted he seemed more relaxed now. “I’ve almost got all the boxes moved out of the guest room. I hope you don’t mind sharing the space with old tax records.”
Autumn’s smile disappeared. The guest room? It was a tiny closet at the end of the hall that looked out onto the neighbor’s overgrown yard. “What about my old room?”
Her father cleared his throat. “Remember, honey, we turned that into Jennifer’s craft room. For her business.”
Autumn cringed at his use of the word, “we,” as if she too had agreed to let Jennifer take over her old bedroom.
“I never expected you to move back so soon,” he said. “We can’t really ask Jennifer to fit her new business into the little guest room. Besides, you’ll be in college next year. It’s only for the short-term.”
Autumn had never felt so transient. Just when she was moving back home, her father was anticipating her moving back out. “Well,” she said, her voice ripe with sarcasm. “I appreciate the welcome home.”
“Autumn,” he warned. “You can’t be upset. Your mother just sprung this on us.”
“I can’t be upset? First, I was told to leave. Now, I’m being told to move back. I thought, of all things, I would get to return to my bedroom. Because last time I checked, it was my room before it was Jennifer’s craft space.” Somewhere in the background, Autumn heard Jennifer’s high-pitched voice say, “If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to come here.”
“I was there first!” Autumn cried out.
“We’ll have to talk about this later,” her dad said.
“There is no later.” Autumn’s voice was losing its steam. “I come home next week.”
Jennifer’s grumblings grew louder. “She’s being ungrateful.”
“I gotta go,” her father said quickly. “I’ll text you flight details later.” And then he hung up.
Autumn stared at her cell phone in disbelief. She felt like a ping-pong ball being batted between her parents. She had no control over her life anymore. A rise of heat crawled up her spine. Autumn threw the cell phone at the wall and screamed. “Inez! This is all your fault.”
Just then, a swirl of darkness surrounded Autumn and Inez materialized in front of her. Before Autumn could step back, the ghost lunged for her, and Autumn screamed.
#
Liam shuffled into the bathroom and rummaged around for painkillers. His head pulsed and throbbed as if someone had taken a drill to his skull.
He twisted the cap off the bottle of aspirin and threw two back in his mout
h, washing them down with tepid tap water.
Pops stood in the doorframe with his arms crossed. “You might be surprised, but I wasn’t always a drunk.”
Liam spoke to Pops’s reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. “No?”
“No, smart-ass. Sure, I used to drink in the service. We all did. It got bad after your mother left your father, and it got worse after your grandmother died. Let’s just say I don’t handle my issues well.”
Liam ran his hands over his face. “Well, that makes two of us.”
“I don’t want you to be like me kid,” said Pops. “You can have a good life if—”
“If, what?”
“If you quit trying to be like me. You’re better than I ever was.”
Liam stared into the sink and examined a glob of dried toothpaste he never washed down the drain. “Pops—”
“You know I never liked Inez.” Pops leaned against the doorframe, facing away from Liam, as if he couldn’t look his grandson in the eye. “She tried several times to break up me and your grandmother. On the night she disappeared, she made a pass at me, and Mariana caught her.”
“Where was this?” asked Liam.
“At the school dance outside the St. Veronica’s gymnasium. Inez shoved me against the lockers and kissed me right in front of your grandmother. You could hear the record scratch. Your abuela was furious at her sister. She slapped Inez and threatened her.”
“Did Inez leave after that?”
“She laughed it off, trying to save face. Eventually, she split. And we never saw her again.” Pops rubbed his arms as if trying to warm his body. “Your great aunt was a cruel woman. Alive, she was manipulative and nearly split me and Mariana apart. And dead—she was no better. Her disappearance marred my marriage. Your grandmother blamed herself all those years. But it wasn’t her fault. It was never Mariana’s fault.”
“I’m sorry, Pops.”
“Me too, kid. If I could do everything over again, I’d do it all different.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe, I could’ve stopped—.” He shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t think I could’ve done anything.” Pops shuffled off to his bedroom.
#
Autumn’s body jerked as she was transported to Inez’s memory. She opened her eyes and found herself in the old gymnasium at St. Veronica’s. But something was different about this memory. Autumn was no longer a close observer, seeing Inez’s world directly from inside her. Now, Autumn felt like someone had shoved her into the closet in Inez’s mind and she was peeking out through the window.
Purple and white crepe paper decorated the gym, and cardboard stars coated in glitter hung from the rafters. A nun swayed near the record player, examining each record before sorting them into piles, even as she tapped her black shoe to the music. Inez assumed each pile represented good vs. evil. Just like her and Mariana. Except Inez wasn’t evil. She just took what she wanted when she wanted it—like any man would.
The freshmen girls huddled together under the basketball hoop while the upperclassmen danced in the center, making sure to maintain a respectable distance from the chaperones.
Inside, Inez moved in rhythm to the music, bunching up her red dress as if she was a flamenco dancer performing for the king of Spain. She was feeling better finally, like her old self, and Inez figured tonight, after the dance, she would have to conduct the dirty business of breaking Mick’s heart.
Outside, distant thunder rolled. Inez could feel it in her bones—a storm was forming off the coast.
One of the senior girls changed the record and a crowd rushed the floor, eager to dance to The Rolling Stones until the record player scratched and a Perry Como song played instead.
“¿Dónde está tu anillo?”
“¿Qué?” asked Inez.
Mariana pointed to Inez’s naked ring finger. “Tu anillo? You’re not wearing it.”
Inez glanced at her empty finger and shrugged. “I can’t find it.”
“It’s still in my jewelry box. I picked it up the last time you threw it in your fiancé’s face. I’m surprised you haven’t retrieved it since then.”
Mariana was too astute, too keenly aware of Inez’s behavior. Inez had been careful with Leo, making sure only to corner him when he was alone. She knew Leo would never say anything to Mariana for fear her sister would not believe Inez made the advances. Mariana was astute, but she was fiercely loyal as well.
“Won’t Mick be upset to see you’re not wearing it?” said Mariana.
Inez tapped her foot in her black pumps and swished the crinoline. “I don’t care.”
“Inez—”
“I don’t know why I let you put me on this dance committee,” Inez interrupted. “Now, we’re stuck here. Where are the boys?”
Mariana hovered near the refreshment table and adjusted the napkins, but her shoulders tensed. She smiled at Ralphie’s sister, an S-shaped stick with blonde hair, who was doling out the punch. A chestnut cane leaned against the table.
“They’ll be here any minute,” said Mariana. “They’re at Duncan’s setting up for later.”
Thunder boomed. “We should go before it rains.”
“Nonsense,” said Mariana. “The dance isn’t over for hours. We all agreed to come here first and then we’ll go to Duncan’s. The night is young.”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” Inez murmured. Anxiety surged through her skin. She wanted to get Leo alone so she could show him that she was the better Cruces sister. Sure, Leo claimed to only have eyes for Mariana, but Inez knew that once he kissed her, he’d see that Mariana was like tepid water.
Mariana shrieked and Inez whirled on her heels. Leo had appeared and planted a kiss on Mariana’s cheek. She swatted him away. “Stop it before Sister Therese sees.”
“Those old nuns don’t scare me,” said Leo.
Inez’s heart swelled when she saw Leo in a sports jacket with a red tie. Civilian clothes. He even matched her dress. A good sign! Inez caught Leo’s eye. She blew him a kiss, but Leo averted his gaze. Leo held out his hand to escort Mariana to the dance floor.
Inez’s stomach twisted into a chignon. She sidled up to the refreshment table. Ralphie’s sister, whose name Inez never bothered to remember, ambled up and grabbed the ladle to dole out punch into a paper cup. She handed it to Inez with a big smile. Inez accepted the punch and eyed the girl’s cane. A cruelty came over her and she said to the girl, “I love dancing, don’t you?”
Ralphie’s sister grimaced and sat down.
Inez removed a silver flask from her dress pocket and tipped the contents into her cup. She thought she was being discreet until she caught Ralphie’s sister’s raised eyebrow. “Oh, you’re not gonna say anything, are you?”
The girl shook her head.
“I didn’t think so.” Inez downed her punch and went back for seconds, this time doling out a portion herself.
Inez watched Mariana laugh and twirl with Leo. Then she ducked out of the gym and into a small alcove near the boys’ locker room. She skipped the punch and took a swig from her flask. Inez liked how the gin burned her throat and lit a fire inside her belly. From here, she had a perfect view of her sister and Leo. Unfortunately, the booze did little to calm her jealousy, it just fueled her bravado.
She watched Leo escort Mariana over to the bleachers where the rest of the gang had gathered. The gang. Leo, Ralphie, Mick, Duncan, and Glenda. Inez and Mariana had been last-minute additions, but despite being Mick’s girl, Inez was the outsider. Mariana fit right into their card games and fishing trips on Ralph’s little boat, but Inez was too big for the group. As if she was a volcano, and they were the little town down the mountain. An eruption from her would destroy them under a blanket of fire.
Leo disengaged from the gang and headed her way. Inez hid her flask in her skirt and smoothed down her hair. She waited for him in the shadows.
Leo strode past her, but Inez reached out and grabbed Leo’s sleeve. He skidded to a halt.
“Where ya going?” Inez crooned.
“To the boy’s lavatory,” Leo said, impatiently.
Inez pushed herself off the wall and slinked over to him. The gin made her head fuzzy, and her body move like liquid. “Why don’t I join you?”
“In the bathroom?” Leo’s cheeks colored. “Now, listen, Inez.”
“No, you listen,” she purred. “Why don’t we skip this kiddie party and head back to Duncan’s house where we can be alone?” Her fingers danced along his arm to his collarbone.
Leo squirmed out of her grasp. “Dammit, Inez. Take a hint.”
Inez felt the magma inside her churn and bubble, rolling up her legs and thighs, through her torso and exploding from her hands. She shoved Leo against the lockers and kissed him hard on the mouth. Leo pushed her off him and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, as if Inez’s lips tasted like poison. “I can’t take you anymore!”
Inez felt a harsh tug on her elbow. Mariana was hauling her down the hallway and toward the janitorial closet. Inez didn’t have time to brace for the slap.
Inez gasped and cupped her cheek. “Puta.”
Leo trotted down the hallway to separate Mariana and her sister.
“If you touch him again, I will kill you,” Mariana hissed.
Inez smoothed her cheek and laughed.
Leo tugged lightly on Mariana’s sleeve and led her back into the gymnasium. The last thing Inez heard was Leo telling Mariana, “We have to stop her.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Seawater soaked Liam’s shirt, but he didn’t care. He just laid there on the floor of the yacht and observed the stars. The rocking of the boat didn’t help the buzzing in his head. He took a swig from the bottle of Jack Daniels. Somewhere below deck, he could hear the laughter of the other people on board.
Even though he tried to clear her from his head, he couldn’t help but wonder what Autumn was doing right this minute. Probably packing her suitcase. Or sleeping.
Liam closed his eyes, which didn’t ease the nausea, then sat up. He felt his brain swirl around his head, sort of like the liquor in the bottle whenever the boat rocked.
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