She’d drained her second beer. The affect was a combination of the warmth of nostalgia and something else that had begun on a dance floor with Benny Benedetto. She let her eyes filter to him. His eyes were already on her, waiting.
“Jeremy, your approach in all this wasn’t great,” she said.
“Sucked, is more like it.” Benny downed the rest of his beer.
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
She held up her hands. “Okay, stop apologizing. That aside, I am concerned about how this will affect Hannah’s life. She’s scheduled to get married in a few weeks.”
She swallowed hard. “I mean, you had dinner one night. You might be setting yourself up for major disappointment.”
Benny surprised her by asking, “Do you think she’s totally happy, Sarah? I mean, I was here when she found that necklace.”
Jeremy gave a broad grin and Sarah felt a jab in her heart. Beer also had a way of bringing honesty to her surface.
Hannah deserved honesty from her. And, she deserved it from Jeremy, no matter the outcome. It sure as hell wasn’t her job to keep anything else from her daughter.
“I think you need to talk with Hannah.”
A still-soggy Jeremy gave her a hug and muttered a thank you. Then he walked around to Benny and offered his hand, which Benny tentatively took into a handshake.
“And, please, kid, do us all a favor. Tell her in person. Skip the notes,” Benny said.
And Jeremy was gone through the door, into the night, a gust of wind blowing into the room in his wake.
Alone with each other and nothing left to drink, no one else to focus on, Sarah and Benny found each other’s gazes. The burst of air that engulfed them did not chill her but rather acted as a bellows to the flame she could no longer deny.
She reached for the used towels, bundling them into her arms in a desperate attempt to escape into busyness.
Zealousness had become her solace over the years. Her garden out back was testament to that. In springtime the Rembrandt Tulips would be ablaze with their yellow and red stripes. The bed of Esthers, pretty and pink with their silvery tips would glisten in the coming sunshine. A garden of respite from what she’d lacked.
But, tonight nothing could chase away the feelings that whirled in the air, sprouting in abundance.
Benny stepped around the island and came close. He had collected beer bottles into his fists, holding them by their necks.
“Where do these go?” he asked softly.
She pointed to the recycle bin. “Thank you.”
Benny placed the bottles into the receptacle then rinsed his hands at the sink drying them on a towel. Sarah watched and continued to hold the bunched towels in her hands like a terry bouquet. She needed to think, to break the spell that hovered over her.
“What do you think will happen now?” she asked, knowing the question was lame. How could Benny know?
He searched her face, his countenance soft, his eyes bathing her as if drinking her in.
She had no idea what repercussions Jeremy’s declaration would bring. But, she did know about the man standing just inches from her. Her heart, swollen with emotion, bursting with need, slammed rhythmically in her chest.
This was crazy. Everything was crazy right down to Jeremy Hudson and this whole night.
“I think what will happen is what’s supposed to.”
“Benny, the wedding’s right around the corner. This could become a fiasco.”
“I learned a long time ago, that just wanting something to work out doesn’t mean it will.”
She thought of all the time, the wasted days of her life, she’d spent trying and wanting her world to be what it wasn’t. She’d tried to be the woman Gary wanted her to be, to have the strong, united marriage she yearned for.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came from her lips was a sad sigh.
“You know what?” he said in a gentle, soothing tone. “Let’s shut the lights down here, make sure the doors are locked, and then you can let me fix you some tea upstairs while you get a nice warm shower. I’ll send you off to beddy-bye, we’ll call it a night, and I’ll head on home.”
Have Benny join her upstairs in the solitude of her little apartment? Was that a good idea? She swallowed hard. She’d lost the ability to judge. But she was all too acutely aware of what she wanted.
“Come on up.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Upstairs, Sarah showed Benny around the kitchen so he could start the tea. She felt his eyes on her as she stepped up onto a small wooden stool and reached for the tea kettle from a shelf. She hopped down and found their proximity dangerously close.
She thrust the kettle at him. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get out of these soaking clothes.” A flush of heat climbed to her face. “Thanks for getting the tea started.”
She turned away and headed toward the short hallway to her room. “The teabags are in the cabinet to the left of the window,” she called over her shoulder.
Behind her closed door Sarah tugged off her damp, uncooperative pants while her mind reeled.
What would Hannah do with the news Jeremy would deliver? Was there some truth in what Jeremy said about the possibility of Hannah still loving him?
Sarah remembered how she’d found Hannah asleep on her bed wearing the opal necklace. She closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. All she’d ever wanted was for Hannah to be genuinely happy. The question was what did that mean now?
Whatever Hannah’s definition of happiness turned out to be was up to her. Sarah wet her parched lips. Yes, her job now was to let it go, stop worrying, trust her kid, and let Hannah do whatever felt right. Happiness deserved a chance and that started with the truth.
Her eyes focused on the closed door that shielded her from the rooms beyond and the man that was out there preparing tea. She swallowed hard. Could she follow her own advice?
After a quick shower she stood at her grandmother’s mirror for a quick assessment. Her drying hair had turned into a fluffy brown puff, looking like a brown chrysanthemum blossom. She collected the mass into a bunch and stuffed it into a rubber band.
She leaned in close to the glass and stared deeply into her eyes. Something was different. She blinked before opening them wide. Yes. It was there. Her own truth shone back at her like tiny pin dots of light. Her heart welled in her chest. Happiness deserved a chance.
****
Benny stood at the sink fiddling with the top of the kettle Sarah had handed him before disappearing down the hallway. He tried to keep from imagining what she was doing behind her closed door. But, his mind went there.
He liked that messy, caught-in-the-rain look she had tonight. The wetness in her hair made it curl around her face, framing it in a halo of softness. Her face, free of any makeup, boasted its appealing freckles.
Benny opened the cabinet in search of teabags and struck gold. Behind the tin marked “Blackberry Blend,” was a short squat bottle of blackberry brandy.
He grabbed a small saucepot from the drainer, abandoning the kettle. He made a concoction of tea, brandy and water, one that would warm their chilled skin. Inside his body was already a furnace of want.
Sarah came into the room wearing pale gray sweatpants and a matching pullover sweatshirt. She’d pulled her hair into a low ponytail that rested at her neck. He couldn’t help but notice the little ringlets that had escaped the fastener, appealingly decorating her hairline.
With hands shoved inside the kangaroo-looking pouch on the front of her shirt, Sarah came to where Benny stood hovering over the saucepot on the stove. She smelled fresh and clean like laundry off a clothesline.
“That’s different,” she said.
“Hope it’s okay I used a pot. I needed it to create this blend.”
She peered in as he stirred the contents. The slow circular action released a pungent, fruity aroma. The combination of the succulent scents and her nearness nearly buckled his knees.
“
Smells delish. What’s in it?” she asked, standing dangerously close.
“Try it first, then I’ll tell you.”
“That’s how we’re going to play it, huh?” she asked. She took a tall tin canister from the counter and brought it with her to the small kitchen table.
He poured measures of his mixture into two waiting mugs and joined her. She had opened the canister and placed a round blond cookie on a napkin at each of their places at the table.
“What’s this?”
“Try it first, then I’ll tell you.”
There was a small Mona-Lisa kind of smile on her lips, a flirty little grin that had the identical effect of a gulp of his toddy.
Sarah brought her mug to her lips and took a sip. She muttered a muffled moan as she pulled the cup away. “You found the brandy.” She sipped again. “Very good.”
There was something different about her, Benny decided. She was more relaxed in spite of the events of the evening. In spite of being rattled by the late-night appearance of her daughter’s first love.
Hell, that on top of the fact that Clyde Stone had swooped in with talk of her building falling down, and then his revelations about Clyde and Sal’s scheme.
She deserved brandy to accent her tea. She deserved more than that.
He bit into the cookie, a tasty almond-flavored round. “Good. Did you make these?”
“You think you’re the only baker in Ronan’s Harbor?” She tilted her head, assessing eyes on him. “Did you always like to bake?”
He could have just given her his typical shrug—that understated gesture he’d used all his life—but not tonight, and not to her. “Always,” he heard himself say. “Since I was little.”
“You come from a line of bakers?”
He watched her take a nibble of her cookie as her gaze remained intent on him.
“My mother was one of those natural bakers. She didn’t need cookbooks or anything. It was only when I started showing an interest that she started writing recipes down. I still have them.”
That little smile was back on her face. “Must have been a fun household.” Her tone was light, but the eyes still focused on him, beaming with sincerity.
Benny couldn’t help but respond in kind. “Well, not when it came to my liking to bake. The men in my family saw it as a sign of weakness.” He didn’t fool her with his hollow-sounding laugh.
The brightness in her eyes dimmed, but the orbs remained intent on him. She didn’t reply to his comment, but he saw the way she pulled her lips in on themselves.
“We were all cops from my grandfather on down. It was like an unwritten law or something. Benedetto men went into law enforcement. And, well, let’s just say my turning into a real baker wasn’t worth the aggravation.”
“So, you went into law enforcement.”
“Twenty-five years.”
“But you didn’t give up on baking.”
“For a long time I did. Life got busy. I got married, worked a lot of overtime, the marriage went kaput. You know how it is. But, baking’s always been there in my head, you know?”
“I do.” She cocked her head. “When did you get back into it?”
“After I retired. It’s amazing how it came right back to me. It’s like riding a bike, no hands on the handlebars, arms stretched out in the breeze.” He suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if he’d said too much. He shrugged. “Something like that, anyway.”
He hoped the softness in her gaze was not laced with pity, but rather understanding. It surprised him how much he wanted that.
“I know. My sanity has been this inn.” She stared into her mug, both hands wrapped around it. “When Gary and I called it quits, I had no idea how on earth to do this.” She looked up and gave a little grin. “I mean, what did I know about running an inn all by myself?”
Sarah shrugged. “And now? Maybe not as much as I should know.”
“Sarah, I’m sorry for your having to go through all this,” Benny said, meaning it. “And, I apologize for my part in it. But, I have a plan.”
She smiled at him. “Well, that makes one of us. I’m all ears.”
“First thing on the agenda is meeting with the mayor, letting him in on what’s going on. Hopefully he’ll get those permits signed for you.”
“Unfortunately, that won’t change the fact that the foundation is about to give out and I can’t afford to fix it.”
“It’s quite probable that Clyde Stone was exaggerating.”
She gave him a nod. “I’ll call my insurance company as soon as the office opens.”
“So, you do have a plan.”
Her look was sly. “Well, what do you know?”
He lifted his mug in salute. “In the morning then.”
“It’s already morning,” she said.
He consulted his watch. Shit, it was almost two. He got up from the table. “Well, then I guess it’s time to say good night.”
She followed him to the sink where they each placed their mugs side by side. They shared another long glance.
“You going to be okay?” he asked softly. He looked down into her eyes.
“Yes,” she said. She pulled her lower lip into her mouth, then let it spring free as though the effort would summon courage.
He felt his heart squeeze.
Her eyes smoky and hooded, she finally released a whisper, “Benny, I was wondering. Is there anything else involved in that plan of yours?” She took a miniscule step closer.
“Yes.” He released a breath. “I’m pretty sure there is.”
“How sure?”
“Damned sure.” Benny pulled her close, their bodies melding instantly, their lips locking in a deep kiss.
Her arms lifted up over his shoulders and she wrapped them around his neck. She massaged a hand at the back of his head, her fingers delicate, yet firm. Their mouths moved back and forth rhythmically in a kiss that tasted both new and at the same time familiar—like long-lost lovers finally reunited.
The kiss broke but not their hold on each other. Their embrace only deepened and he could feel the length of her body against his. He whispered what was in his heart. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
“Me, too,” she said.
He felt her warm breath on his neck. He pulled back so that he could see her face. Her eyes shone with emotion and it took his breath away. How in hell was he going to leave her now?
“I…” He tried to breathe. “I should go.”
Sarah shook her head no.
****
In her whole life the only time she’d done this—led a man into her room by the hand—was in a fantasy. Reality, she was learning, was better. But pretty scary, too.
She gave his chest a gentle push with one finger, just a touch really, one that certainly wouldn’t have enough force to move a sheet of paper let alone a man. But, that was all it took. He slowly collapsed back onto the quilted coverlet.
She stood in front of him, their eyes bound to each other. A jumble of emotions careened in her chest, in her belly, in her blood. Nerves, anticipation, surprise at her own behavior. It was all those things and it was the message her blood rushed around inside her, but mostly it was an electrical charge that obliterated any reserve. The throb of freedom that pulsed through her settled somewhere deep.
She tugged the sweatshirt over her head as she realized she’d never done that for an audience. Ever. The effort felt clumsy and the hood caught on her ponytail yanking her hair by the root. The garment was off and on the floor and with it was the elastic that had tied back her hair.
She couldn’t even begin to imagine what the wavy brown mess looked like. She quickly gave it a shake with both hands, an apology for its appearance sitting on her tongue like a gumdrop.
“I love your hair,” he said, raising up on an elbow and resting his head on a hand.
“You do?” She wanted to tell him he didn’t have to say that, but the look on his face was so true, she believed he meant it. It baffled her.
That made her laugh and she plopped herself down next to him on the bed. If she turned just so, she knew she’d be able to see her image in the cheval mirror across the room. Absolutely no way. One look at herself in a bra—albeit her best one with the tiny satin bow between her breasts—and her hair bushed out like an overgrown hedge and she’d lose her nerve.
Benny reached up and touched her hair, a delicate hand that erased the thought. His fingers caressed the strands. “In the light it looks like it’s laced with gold. But you knew that.”
No, she didn’t know that, but she didn’t say so. She had no breath with which to speak.
He let his hand slide away from her hair, and placed a finger under her chin. “Come closer.”
She leaned in, her heart slamming into her ribs, beating like a drum, a really happy drum.
“Your eyes are my favorite part of you, though. They look like amber with warm flecks of color.”
An ache formed in her throat. She could tell this was not just flattery. This was unabashed honesty.
It touched her so deeply it was an effort for her not to cry. “Thank you,” she managed in a low, barely audible whisper that rode gently on an escaped breath.
He beckoned her with the guidance of that finger at her chin, slowly bringing her mouth to meet his. It was a gentle, soft kiss, a touch of their lips that lasted just long enough for her to want more.
She pressed to his mouth reclaiming the courage that had begun its life here in this room on this night because of this man. He tasted of the brandy from the toddy he’d made for them. It was a sweet, succulent flavor and she savored it.
Benny rolled back, pulling her onto him, as their kiss deepened. His hands ran over the skin of her back, gentle touches feeding her desire like magic. His fingers found the hook of her bra and released it. She helped him free her of it, all the while their kiss still intact.
Finally, her lungs screamed for air, and she broke the kiss. She stared down at him in the dimness of the room, his eyes beacons of emotion. They each breathed heavily, gulping air.
Letters and Lace (The Ronan's Harbor Series) Page 19
