by H K Christie
Dee stammered. “Yeah, I saw him in the hall and then we found out from a friend that his name is Tyler King. We looked him up on social media and it’s the right name and the right guy.”
Detective Grayson raised an eyebrow. “You just happened to run into the guy? That’s pretty convenient, don’t you think?”
Dee’s face paled.
Selena’s heart was racing, and she was fighting mad. She didn’t like this guy’s tone and she didn’t like the implications he was making that Dee had misidentified her attacker. She could no longer hold back. “We ran into Tyler King in the hallway—steps away from our dorm room. The friend he was with is someone who lives on our floor. Now, Dee has a name, address, and a picture. There is no reason for you to treat her like she’s some sort of liar.”
Detective Grayson glared at Selena. “If you can’t contain yourself, young lady, I’m going to need for you to leave.”
She sat back, arms crossed, and chest heaving. She wanted to beat the smug look off his face.
Dee spoke slowly. “What Selena said is what happened. His name is Tyler King. This is his photo.” She lifted her phone. The screen had a picture of Tyler from his Facebook profile. “This is him. This is the guy who attacked me.”
Detective Grayson gave a cursory glance of the picture. “You were fairly intoxicated that night. Isn’t that right? How can you be so sure that this was the person who did this to you?”
Dee pleaded and her voice cracked. “Because I remember his face and the sound of his voice. It was him. He lives at the DKA house.”
Selena could tell that Dee was on the verge of tears. She wanted to shake the officer and scream at him. Why wasn’t anyone listening? Selena refrained from yelling at the officer for obvious reasons.
Dee shut her eyes. “Yes, I was drinking, but I remember him. I remember his voice. I remember what he did.”
The officer leaned back in his seat and stared at Dee. “And what exactly was it that he did?”
Selena had to refrain from jumping up and attacking like a feral cat. He was baiting her and trying to intimidate Dee by implicating that she wasn’t credible because she had a few drinks. Selena wished somebody would sexually assault this man so he’d understood what it was like and then maybe he’d drop the callous attitude towards someone who was brutally attacked. Selena nodded to Dee.
Dee recounted every gory detail of the attack from the first drink Tyler had given her to lying next to the bushes after he was finished.
Detective Grayson didn’t take any notes. “I’ll update the file listing Tyler King as your reported attacker. We will bring him in for questioning. Is there anything else, Ms. Hankel?”
Dee stared at the floor. “That’s it. That’s all there is.”
“All right, ladies, I hope you have a good night. I’ll look into this. Ms. Hankel, give me a call if you have any questions.”
Selena stared in disbelief at Detective Grayson. Up until now her experience with law enforcement had been limited to working with Detective Gates during her mother’s homicide investigation and her subsequent kidnapping. Detective Gates had cared about Selena, and her mother’s case. He had checked up on her daily after her mother’s death. He never once spoke with her in a rough or accusatory tone. He had saved her life. Selena had thought the police were there to help, but now she was learning firsthand that wasn’t true of all law enforcement.
After all Selena had been through, she had considered going into law enforcement. She thought she would be working with good people who were tasked with serving and protecting citizens, but now she wasn’t so sure.
She looked at Dee. “Let’s go home.”
They walked silently back to their dorm. Both of them fully understanding what had just transpired. Dee had been victim blamed and her story not believed. The officer didn’t even try to conceal his attitude. If they couldn’t count on the police to protect them, who would?
9
Selena watched nervously as Dee paced around the dorm room with her cell phone pressed to her ear. Her eyes were wide and her arms flailing around as if she was being told something that was completely unbelievable. Dee stopped and stabbed her finger at her phone screen and then dropped it onto her bed. She slowly sat on the edge of the bed and then buried her face into her hands and sobbed. Selena jetted from the living room over to Dee. She sat next to her on the bed, her heart racing. This couldn’t be good news. “What’s wrong? What did he say?”
Through sobs, Dee said, “He said he talked to Tyler. Tyler said he remembered me and that we had a great night and that it was completely consensual and that he was shocked I was pressing charges.” Dee’s body heaved and she continued to sob.
Anger seared through Selena. Of course, that’s what Tyler would say. He was a goddamn monster. He should be arrested. He should be behind bars. He shouldn’t be walking around free to pick out his next victim.
She didn’t want to press Dee for too many details, since it was clear she was having very difficult time with the news. Dee lifted her head and turned to Selena. “That detective said I should just drop the case and that there was no way they’d be able to prosecute him. Tyler told him that it was all my idea and that I had coaxed him outside because I liked to have rough, outdoor sex. That I got off on it and that I was really wasted. Tyler said he wasn’t that into it, but that I practically begged him. Can you believe that?”
Selena’s mouth dropped open. How could anyone possibly believe that Dee had asked for any of this to happen to her? It was completely outrageous. Her anger was bubbling up. She feared she would not be able to sustain a calm demeanor. She wanted to hit something. She wanted to break something. She focused on her surroundings to halt her overwhelming, raging emotions. I’m here at San Francisco University in my dorm room. The time is seven p.m. The day is November 15. Three objects I notice around me are a bed, a desk, and a chair. Three colors I notice around me are purple, green, and yellow.
Selena put her arm on Dee’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Dee.”
Dee shook her head. “I can’t believe they don’t believe me. I did that rape kit exam. I went to them right away. I did everything I was supposed to do. I don’t understand. Why don’t they believe me?”
Fucking patriarchy. Selena didn’t know what to do, but she was not going to let this go. Tyler King was not going to get away with attacking her roommate or any other woman ever again. “I believe you. And I will make sure that Tyler pays for what he did.”
Dee stared blankly at the floor. “What am I supposed to do now? He said they don’t have a case, so they won’t even press charges. They said it’s he said, she said.”
Selena fought the rage. “There is a support group meeting tonight in about an hour. It’s here on campus at the Center for Victims of Sexual Violence. They have counselors and they have support groups. If you want, we can grab some dinner at the cafeteria and then head over to the meeting. It can’t hurt, right?”
Dee stared at Selena. “You’ll come with me?”
“Of course.”
Selena gave her friend a warm hug and went into the bathroom to retrieve a box of tissues and handed them to Dee. Selena wouldn’t let this go. Tyler King would not get away with what he’d done to Dee. Selena would launch her first investigation and she would obtain the evidence to prove that Tyler assaulted Dee. One way or another, Tyler would pay for what he did.
10
Dee
With Selena by her side, Dee forced herself to hold her head high as she walked through the doors to the Center for Victims of Sexual Violence. She approached a young woman sitting behind a desk in the middle of the lobby. Her nerves rattled, but she knew she couldn’t let this destroy her. She needed to get help. She didn’t want to feel like this anymore. Even if Tyler King was going to get away with the crime, he wasn’t going to be allowed to take away her life. Or maybe she was fooling herself; maybe she’d always be afraid. “Hi, I’m here for the support group.”
T
he young woman gave a friendly smile. “Have you been here before?”
Dee shook her head from side to side.
“My name is Kathy and I’m one of the volunteers here. If this is your first time, maybe you would also like to make an appointment with a counselor too?”
Dee wondered if what had happened to her showed on her face. Would she never be able to hide it, from herself or the rest of the world? “A counseling appointment for today?”
The woman lowered her voice. “If this is something that’s happened recently and you haven’t talked to anyone yet, I would recommend setting up an appointment very soon. It’s absolutely free. We can even help with going to the police or helping with your case. We’re here to help in any way we can.”
Selena stepped closer to the desk. “Really? You’ll help with the police too?”
“Yes, we provide advocacy for all of our students. This can be a very troubling time for a lot of women and men. We have staff here that will assist with going to the police, getting an exam done, and obviously counseling and support groups too. Is this something that happened recently?”
Selena turned to look at Dee.
Dee nodded. “It happened just over a week ago. I’ve already reported it to the police and had the exam, but they said there isn’t anything they can do. I haven’t talked to anyone else yet.” She could feel Selena’s dainty fingers on her shoulder. She resisted the urge to break down right then and there. Every time she talked about that night it made her crumble.
The woman wrinkled up her face before giving her a tense smile. “You still have about ten minutes before the support group starts, why don’t we go ahead and make you a counseling appointment?”
Dee nodded again.
“Okay.” The woman slid a clipboard with a questionnaire and pen tucked under the clip, across the desk. “Go ahead and fill in your information and we’ll get you into a counselor as soon as possible. We can work around your school schedule too. Are you still going to class?”
Dee picked up the clipboard but didn’t look the woman in the eyes. “I haven’t gone since the … since it happened.”
“Okay, I will get you an appointment right away. And from my own experience, I can tell you, I think the support group will help.” The woman eyed Selena. “Are you here for support group too, or are you here as a friend?”
Selena said, “I’m here for the support group. My assault happened almost a year ago. I have a counselor that I see regularly, but this is my first time at a support group here on campus.”
The young woman’s hazel eyes sparkled. “Great, glad to have you. Most of the women here at the center are volunteers. A lot of us are volunteers because we know what you’re going through and we want to help and give back. So if you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to reach out to any of us.”
Selena said, “Thank you.”
Dee finished filling in her contact information and handed the clipboard back to the woman. As the woman tapped her keyboard and studied her screen, Dee turned to Selena. “Here goes.”
“It’s gonna be hard at first, but in the end, I think it gets better. My therapist told me in my first session that it gets harder before it gets easier. It’s something that’s really hard to get past, but I’ll be here for you if you need me.”
Dee said, “Thank you.”
The woman said, “Okay you’re all set for Friday at four. Will that work for you?”
“Yes, that’ll be fine.”
“All right, the support group is down the hall. No need to sign in but maybe check with the leader to let her know it’s your first time. There’s usually super tasty cookies. We have a woman on staff who loves to bake, so you do not want to miss out on those.”
They waved as they headed down the hall to the support group. Dee stopped in front of the door that had a sheet of white paper with Sexual Assault Support Group written in black marker attached with a piece of masking tape. A faint scent of chocolate chip cookies emitted from the room. They were definitely in the right place. Dee glanced back at Selena and she returned an encouraging nod.
Heart pounding, they entered a room that had fifteen orange plastic chairs arranged in a circle in the middle. There was a folding table on the side wall that displayed a coffee carafe, tea kettle, an assortment of tea packets, and the freshly baked goods. There were a few other female students already seated in the chairs fiddling with their phones.
An older woman with graying hair and a pair of spectacles attached to colorful beaded chains greeted them at the door. “Hello, I’m Rhonda.”
Selena and Dee introduced themselves and Rhonda continued, “We’re glad to have you. Please know you’re free to share as much as you’d like or as little as you like. Some women like to share their story or something they’re currently struggling with, or maybe even share a win for the week. If you’d like to take a seat, we’ll start in a few minutes. We usually save the cookies for after the session. My goodness, they smell amazing. I’m gonna have to use all my will power to resist sneaking a nibble!”
Dee and Selena thanked her and found a seat within the circle. The chairs filled quickly. All but two were occupied by other victims. Those two chairs remained empty, presumably for the next two unfortunate women who would need them. Dee felt herself frowning. How could there be this many sexual assault victims in one place? Why was this so common?
Dee listened intently as the other young women shared their struggles and their victories. There were definitely common themes: fearful of everyday activities that they didn’t fear before, difficulty sleeping, feelings of shame, afraid to trust new people. The lone victory story was of one girl going on a first date since her attack. It was Selena’s turn next. Anxiety washed over Dee, knowing she may have to introduce herself, and reveal that she was attacked, to the whole group.
Dee turned to her right to watch Selena as she began to share.
Selena picked at her fingernails as they lay in her lap. “I’m Selena.”
The room whispered variations of hello.
She continued. “I was assaulted almost a year ago. I’ve made a lot of progress since then. I’ve learned self-defense and always carry my baton—I call her Bessie. She’s in my pocket here.” Selena patted her pocket. “I don’t have the same fears I used to, but I’m always on alert. One thing I’m currently struggling with is for the first time since the incident, I have a crush on a guy. And he likes me, and he told me. But I told him I couldn’t date him right now. Up until this guy, I didn’t think I’d have romantic thoughts about anyone, ever again. Now I do. It makes me anxious, but I really like him. I’ve decided to talk to my therapist about it because I do want to go out with him, I’m just not sure I’m ready.”
There were a lot of nods from the other women. Dee had no idea Selena was going through this. Was it Brendon that she was in to? She would ask her about it later.
Rhonda said, “Thank you for sharing, Selena, and we’re glad to have you with us. I think a lot of these feelings are very common and I think you taking the next step to talk to your therapist about this man is a wonderful bit of progress for you. I wish you luck. Is there anyone else who’d like to share or maybe just introduce yourself?” She directed her eyes at Dee.
Dee’s stomach churned. Now or never. “Hi, my name is Dee.”
The same muted hellos and welcomes for Selena were now directed at Dee. She continued after it died down. “I was assaulted at the Delta Kappa Alpha house ten days ago. I haven’t gone to class since the attack. It’s really thrown me through a loop. The police don’t want to press charges. They say that it’s he said, she said, even though I did all the things I was supposed to do. It’s really frustrating and I feel really angry. This is my first support group and I have my first counseling appointment on Friday.”
Women around the circle shook their heads at her story. One woman from across the circle, with red hair and a spattering of freckles said, “Same thing happened to me, at the DKA house
, I mean. Sorry to hear that, but I’m glad you’re here. I’m still angry too, and it’s been over a year for me.”
The woman sitting next to the redhead turned her attention to Dee, in shock. “You got assaulted at Delta Kappa Alpha too?”
Dee’s mouth dropped open, staring at these women as they exchanged their stories of being assaulted at the Delta Kappa Alpha house. By her count, five out of the twelve women in the room commiserated over being attacked at the DKA house. How could it be that it kept happening? At the same place? How had they not made the connection earlier?
Dee blurted out. “Do you know the name of your attacker?”
A few shook their hands sadly. One other said, “The bastard’s name was Bill.”
Another said, “Jake.”
Dee couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Did your attacker get arrested?”
The red head said, “Nope. He said, she said.”
The room erupted in chatter and similar stories.
Rhonda tried to get the crowd under control. “Okay, ladies. Let’s settle down. We have only a few minutes left. Dee, thank you for sharing and welcome. Does anybody else have anything they’d like to share before we close out today’s session?”
The women went silent.
Rhonda removed her glasses, letting them dangle on the multi-color beads. “Okay then. Thank you everyone for coming. I look forward to seeing you again next week. I’m sure none of you will forget to have some cookies and a warm beverage before you go. Be well.”
Selena and Dee made their way over to the cookies. Selena turned to her and said, “Can you believe that there were five women who said they were assaulted at a DKA party? I wonder if we could put a case together, bring it to the police. Something should be done about this.”
“What could we possibly do? It wasn’t the same guy every time. And you heard what Detective Grayson said. He said, she said.”
